LAWD MY LEGS ARE SO WHITE!!!!!!!!! Take me to Kokomo so I can tan these alabaster gams. Somebody! Anybody! Anyway, here I am. I had some good thrifting luck recently and came across this super cute polyester blouse. Do you likes? UGH how’s everyone’s new year been so far? Super horny I hope. You know mine is. I recently moved into my own ‘lil apartment. Yes, the bathroom is pink. I’ll post pictures once I get more of my kitsch on the walls and it doesn’t look like the messy ass bachelorette pad as it does right now. You guys, I haven’t even unpacked my makeup yet. Life changes, y’allz.
I can’t wait for my hair to grow. I don’t regret the great Chop Off of Summer 2013, but let’s face it World, this girl was BORN 4 LONG LUXURIOUS LOX. I definitely will tread more carefully in the future and won’t let my hair get too long to where it starts to catch on fire and strangle me like in the past.
I did a fun interview with Mouthy recently and I also wrote some special ‘tings for Rookie’s Vision theme last month that my fellow brujitas and brujitos might enjoy. Once is about making your own magick happen and the other is a guide to crystals. Read if you dare. Now I shall make some tea and watch Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead. UNTIL NEXT TIME MON CHI CHIS…
February 6, 2014 1 Comment
Great news my boos! Laurel and Hector is throwing a special Valentine’s Day-themed contest on their Instagram! They are uploading a new themed image everyday (@laurelandhector) up until Valentine’s Day and all you have to do is post a photo that matches their theme of the day on your Instagram while tagging @laurelandhector and using the hashtag #LHVALENTINES !
So, what can you win???
The three coolest and most creative posts will each win an Electric Banana Shimmy Top!
Laurel and Hector has been a huge favorite of mine for a while now. When I first featured Kee Kee, the boss lady behind L&H, they were primarily a vintage shop, selling the cutest mod dresses (including this one named after moi!) and now Kee Kee displays just how incredible her design talents are with the collections she releases, like “Lip Service ” which has this mind-blowing Clueless-inspired set!
I want everything!
February 5, 2014 No Comments
You know what time it is!!! Get your nail files out and your thinkin’ caps on because I’ve got a NAIL QUIZ FOR YA BEAUTIFUL BETCHES…Ever since I did my first Nails on Film Quiz in 2009, followed by last year’s sequel, I’ve kept a watchful eye on movie scenes that have a nails did situation going on. I still haven’t found anything showing the level of abundance of gorgeous nails as our favorite Jeff Goldblum sexy alien movie, Earth Girls Are Easy, unfortunately.
For any of you newbies, all you have to do is correctly identify the movie from which the screencap is taken. Don’t worry, I’m not a total asshole and will have clues posted for you underneath each image. The first person to comment with all films will win the following…
1. All polish colors from Floss Gloss’ Princess of the Night Collection. If you haven’t had the magnificent pleasure of trying any of Floss Gloss’ luxurious coats, you and your fingertips are in for a treat. Floss Gloss is a true gift bestowed upon us from the nail gods slash two of the raddest chicks from The Bay, Janine Lee and Aretha Sack. You guys, they also have a SELENAS nail color! Just imagine my reaction after seeing that. Fainting, screaming, bidi bidi bom’in. I LOVE THEM.
3. A ‘lil something special from me. ::looks around room, sees a dirty pair of pizza-printed socks and three packages of Plan B contraception:: Hmm, don’t worry, I will find something to throw in. Good luck!
1. We are creatures of the spring, you and I.
2. Imagine getting totally stoned with Dolly Parton and Lily Tomlin.
3. This is from one of my favorite 80s horror movies about a prom queen coming back from the dead to seek revenge against her classmates.
4. Try to do the Bend and Snap without ruining your freshly-painted nails.
5. After hanging out with the dudes from Whitesnake, playing the Ouija by yourself ain’t not thang.
December 19, 2013 2 Comments
Claire Beaudreault aka Clara Biznass is my favorite type of ladycrush. As a professional nail artist, rapper in the band Hand Job Academy, and writer at XO Vain, Claire is no doubt one of the most badass babes there is! SHE DOIN’ TINGS. ALL KINDS OF TINGS. Obviously I wanted to stalk/get to know her better, and especially, talk to her about… NAILS! Take a lurk at the interview below!
What are your top five mani essentials?
1. Duri Rejuvacote basecoat. Scandalous choice because it totally contains formaldehyde, but nothing else repairs my nails! I guess if it can keep a dead body preserved…
2. CND Solar Oil, it smells like almonds and cherries, keeps your mani fresh, and (shhh) hides imperfections in Instagram photos!
3. Butter London Nail Foundation, it dries really fast, does *not* contain formaldehyde, and looks good by itself.
4. Everyone probably says Seche Vite topcoat, right?
5. I love reppin’ polish lines that I have a personal relationship with! The Floss Gloss ladies are the baddest broads and I love their business approach, plus their colors are so hot. I keyed a show at NYFW SS14 for Maki Oh and worked with Londontown; the coverage and richness of the formula is on point. And I’m working with MINE, a lacquer made with REAL PRECIOUS METALS. You can have real silver and gold on your nails! It comes in an Austrian crystal bottle and is redefining luxury.
What’s your pick for a good holiday nail?
I don’t really do holiday nails unless it’s Halloween! I did a lump of coal manicure when I first started doing nails that was pretty funny. Bah humbug, lolz.
What would be on your Mani Mixtape?
The first song that comes to mind is “Hands” by The Raconteurs. Weird, I’m not really crazy about that song. Oh, “No Hands” by Waka Flocka Flame because when you have your nails done, everything is no hands! And because Waka is the greatest. Kid Sister “Pro Nails” of course, and Gangsta Boo because she has a color with Floss Gloss now, “Nasty Trick” is so perfect. My friends Ratchet by Nature have a song called “Candy Nails and Glitter” that actually shouts me out, hella flattered. Katy Perry did an amazing discontinued color with OPI named after the song “Teenage Dream” so that song because there is no such thing as a guilty pleasure. And NIN “Closer” because, Nine Inch NAILS. I am really showing my goth side in this interview.
Favorite nail trend right now? Any you hate?
Kinda basic but all of a sudden the moonicure/half moon/reverse French/1930s/Dita Von Teese/Imelda Marcos manicure looks really fresh to me. And I LOVE that cool girls are now doing a full on, possibly ironic, porny pink & white acrylic French manicure. I don’t think I hate any nail trend! Y’all do y’all. Wait–water marbling is a pain in the ass and I don’t think it looks that cool.
What are your wardrobe staples?
Most of my clothes are from Uniqlo. They know how to make half-Asian butts look big! And Heattech has made my winters so much more bearable. Black skinny jeans, ankle boots, black leather jacket, Vera Meat hand necklace and vampire teeth ring. Gold earrings because I mix gold and silver, screw the rules! Or Timbs and jeans and this grey sweater of my boyfriend’s that has a million holes in it and looks like it was expensive once.
Who are some females that you admire?
Oh gosh. My bandmates for always inspiring me and being so damn good at what they do. My mom for being an artist, encouraging me to be an artist, and being really expressive in her dress. My sister because she passed the bar exam and runs marathons like ringing a bell. Gina Edwards and the other amazing celebrity manicurists I’ve had the opportunity to work with who have taken me under their wing and taught me the tricks of the trade. Anaïs Nin, Frida Kahlo, Marina Abramovic, my Tommy Boy “labelmate” Queen Latifah, Margaret Cho, Loretta-fuckin-Lynn. I just saw “The Punk Singer” about Kathleen Hanna and she is super inspiring and admirable.
photo credit: Laura June Kirsch
How would you describe your personal style?
I try to dress like a French woman who long ago ran out of fucks to give. Like, I don’t do anything to my hair, I don’t wear a ton of makeup on regular days, I actually wear pretty boring clothes. If you have tattoos and good jewelry and accessories, you don’t have to wear flashy clothes. I can’t find the exact quote but I think Tina Knowles said something along the lines of “If you have a good bag and good shoes, the rest of your outfit doesn’t matter as much.”? Probably saying that totally wrong. Then again, I think hot pink, gold, and leopard print are neutrals. When I’m performing or making a video it’s like dorky hip-hop Rockabilly. Our mutual friend Matthew once told me I looked like the lovechild of Patty Hearst and Sacajawea and that was an awesome compliment.
If you weren’t doing nails and Hand Job Academy, what would you be doing instead?
Probably acting and writing. Which I do anyway, just less often because I’m busy with the band and the nail game. Playing the drums in a garage band. Flirting with the idea of getting a Master’s in performance art or creative writing.
photo credit: Gabrielle Meit.
Any upcoming projects or anything you can tell us about?
Hand Job Academy is working on an EP for early Spring. More videos, more shows. We definitely want to tour in 2014. Travel is huge for me, I’d love to travel for nail jobs too! Maybe with my unofficial business partner Shirley aka Scotch Tape and Rhinestones, together we are “1.5 Asians.”
December 18, 2013 1 Comment
That’s right my friends. I have been waiting YEARS. YEARS!!! to talk about my favorite Halle Berry vehicle, the award-winning B.A.P.S., and the time has arrived. When I say “award-winning,” I’m referring to the V. RARE zero star rating that was bestowed by film critic Roger Ebert, who also described the movie as “jaw-droppingly bad.” Much respect to Rog, but DAAAAAYUM must we get THAT dramatic?!?! I know I am not alone in my love for B.A.P.S.
B.A.P.S., which stands for Black American Princesses, is about two waitresses named Nisi (Halle Berry) and Mickey (Natalie Desselle-Reid) who dream about opening the world’s first combination beauty salon and soul food restaurant. First of all, I admire their creative entrepreneurial spirit. It reminds me of my lifetime goal of opening up a psychic nail salon (previously called “Happy Panda Nail” changed to “Crystal Balls and Diamond Tips.”) B.A.P.S. was released in 1997, which was the same I year I lost my virginity and three years before she became Storm in the X-Men film series. All great buffers for Monster’s Ball, IMHO.
The girls are having a normal day, until they hear on the radio and read in a magazine that MTV is auditioning dancers to tour with Heavy D. The synchronicities are enough to convince the girls that they should make the trek to LA and that the audition could be their lucky break.
Their earrings are so good.
To prepare for their Hollywood debut, the girls get their hair and nailz did and read up on some Beverly Hills etiquette.
“Do you think we overdid it with our hair?”
Once they land in L.A., they run into none other than LL Cool J and freak the fuck out. I mean, there are only a few celebs I’d freak out over and LL is one of them, even though I unfollowed his Twitter years ago because I got mad at his improper use of “your.” I’M SAWRE I’M SAWRE I still love you.
One of my favorite scenes is when they are standing in line for the audition and Mickey supports Nisi’s wild dancing by screaming “YEAHH DAT’S MY GURL” then models her BOO YOW! hairdo to the crowd. I seriously scream the same thing any one of my friends successfully parallel parks. No joke. (I hate parallel parking)
Then the girls meet some shadester who convinces them to pose as the granddaughter of a maid that his rich father was in love with back in the day. At first, the girls don’t realize that he’s just trying to scam his father’s fortune and play along. HIJINKS ENSUE
The girls are living the life. MAXIN N’ RELAXIN. Look at that dream floatie. I want a pool chair where I could put a carved fruit basket and some chips n’ dips.
The rich dude is played by none other than Martin Landau, who you might remember from his recent role as J.Howard Marshall in the Anna Nicole Lifetime movie.
I love how every time there is a scene between Nisi and her man, “Forever” by Damage comes on.
Sorry Roger Ebert, I know you hated this film but at least we have this scene of Martin Landau and Halle Berry gettin’ freaky in da club…
December 16, 2013 1 Comment
Legit nails are not just for the ladies, and Florida-based artist Danny Brito proves that by always sporting cool manis on his Instagram. Aside from making the cutest art and selling cute vintage goodies with his shop, City Song Vintage, he runs a nail blog for all called Man-I-Cute!
Today he will be showing us how to do a manicure inspired by Kenzo’s AW13 collection with all dem spooky eyes! This is what he used:
♥ Sally Hansen Black, Sinful Colors Blue, and OPI Cajun Shrimp Red
♥ White acrylic paint
♥ Dotting Tool
♥ Seche Vite fast drying top coat
1. Choose your base colors, I tried to stick to a color scheme that goes with the Kenzo AW13 look. Let the base colors dry completely before moving on to the next steps.
2. With a dotting tool, or something similar in shape like a bobby pin or a tooth pick, create some black almond shapes on the nails that are not black. This is going to be the base for the eyes on those nails.
3. While the black shape you just created are drying, lets work on the eyes for the other nails. Creating a Kenzo like eye is fairly simple, I used white acrylic paint because it’s easier to work with than polish and is very opaque. What you’re going to want to do is create two triangles to form the whites of the eyes, and then a small dot a bit off centered to finish off the look.
4. Repeat on all the nails, the patterns or size of the eyes is totally up to you. I tried to keep it simple but still interesting. Don’t worry if they aren’t perfect!
December 10, 2013 No Comments
Everybody get your claws out, ’cause it’s time for another rendition of NAILZ WEEK! If you missed last year’s party, Nailz Week is where us lovers of fancy talons can celebrate all things Nail Art! I’ll have interviews with badass nail artists, talk about my fave movies, and end it with a fun giveaway! Today I’m kicking off the shenanigans by talking to Whitney Gibson of Pushy Nails. I’ve had the pleasure of getting my nails done by Whitney and it’s always a good time where we gossip about our fave hunks (Andre 3000 and Ryan Gos,) and listen to the sweet sounds of St. Mariah.
Can you tell me a bit about your background and how you got started doing nails?
I started doing my own nails as a hobby. I’m an artist- I draw, paint, take photos, sculpt, you name it- so I took to it quickly. My friends started asking me to do their nails and since many of them work in film or fashion, that eventually lead to me doing nails for the projects they were working on. Initially, I didn’t see myself doing nails for work because I didn’t want to be stuck in a salon all day, but once I realized I could work on set, everything changed for me.
What’s your favorite nail trend? Any you hate?
My favorite trend right now is probably what I would call adult nail art. I’ve been using a lot of sheer polish and negative space to get that ‘nails did’ feeling without compromising the chic-ness. That’s not to say that I don’t like bright, funky colors– I do! I just like the idea of having nails that you love that you can wear to work, too. In terms of what I don’t like, I like it all! I love that people get crazy and express themselves! The only thing that skeeves me out is duck tips– acrylic nails that flare out like duck feet. I just don’t get it.
Nails by Whitney Gibson for Sephora Formula X.
What are some of your favorite polishes right now?
In life and nails, I love a high brow/low brow blend. I love the new Marc Jacobs polish, but I get down with some dollar store polish too. I’m always on the prowl for colors I don’t have. Floss Gloss’ new color, Gangsta Boo is the perrrrfect red. And Sephora’s new Formula X is amazing! They have something like 200 colors, so many different kinds of glitters, and their cremes are sooo creamy.
Whose nails are you dying to do?
My dream client is Ryan Gosling. I give a great file and buff and I’d show him the care and consideration he deserves. Jokes aside, I’d loovvvve to do Tavi Gevinson’s nails. I’ve been following her career forever and I think she’s such a hero for girls. And Bad Gal Riri because duh. And of course, Gwen Stefani is like every girl’s ultimate dream client because she’s been into nail art since before nail art was hot.
Camo nails by Whitney Gibson for Sephora Formula X.
What would you put on a Manicure Mixtape of your Favorite songs?
I like to listen to hip hop when I do nails. It makes me feel like I’m at a barber shop in the hood. I mix in some down tempo R&B to keep things from getting too hyphy.
Mani Mixtape :
*My Man by Lady Bee
*Pro Nails by Kid Sister (obligatory)
*Treehome95 by Tyler the Creator
*Go All Night by Kelela
*Wildfire by Sbtrkt (the one w/ Drizzy and Little Dragon)
*Creep by TLC
*Shorty Swing My Way by KP and Envyi
*Juke Juke by Chance the Rapper
*Moving On by Mya and Silkk the Shocker
*Body Party by Ciara
Who are your style icons?
My style icons are all over the place. I’m OBSESSED with Janet Jackson circa Poetic Justice. The braids, the baggy jeans and boots, the crop tops. Swoon. Basically any R&B singer from the 90′s is good for me, stylistically. They were so good at mixing masculine street wear/sportswear with feminine curves, long nails and bold lips. Inversely, I love the clean lines and androgynous silhouettes of Scandinavian women. Lykke Li, for example, is a fashion killah. Oh, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Solange. She’s my queen.
The aforementioned RG forever and ever, no matter how cliche. Sam Rockwell drives me crazy because he’s so weird. And I love a redhead so Archy Marshall (King Krule) could get it, too. Plus his music is the bomb. What’s Frank Ocean’s ex boo thang’s name? Willy Cartier? He foine. Oh and there’s this LA-based model who is the most physically attractive man I’ve ever seen. His name is Victor Ross and you are welcome in advance.
My most recent manicure with Whitney: Hologram Barbie nails!
Five Current Obsessions:
1. I’ve been binge watching Key and Peele. Jordan Peele is the funniest human. Also, that show has a tight wig game.
2. Sports bras. I own probably 40.
3. See-thru clothes. I’m making myself the most amazing sheer wardrobe with the help of my wonderful mom.
4. I’m obsessed with this side project I’m working on with my friend, crazy talented producer Jon Mills. I’m a little shy, so I won’t say too much, but let’s just say I’m a nail artist/rapper/full time freak.
5. Food. LA has an amazing food scene. I’ve been craving the chicken sandwich from Son of a Gun for days, but I live on the eastside so I get my fix at Canale, which has an equally impressive fried chicken masterpiece.
Any new projects you can share with us?
Upcoming nail projects– I’m working on some nail-related jewelry and maybe some tees, trying to get some tutorials up on the webz, and generally just trying to make art with rad people!
♡ Follow her Tumblr at pushypushynails.tumblr.com and Instagram @pushypushy ♡
December 9, 2013 1 Comment
I’m not one to plan a seasonal “Style Direction” with a serious face, but I definitely wanted to bring my autumnal black wardrobe to a new level. My vision was “Goth Cheerleader,” but so far it’s been “Dark Schoolgirl segueing into some real 90s vibes.” I am pretty happy that my fall uniform has basically consisted of a-line skirts, suspender tights, and crop tops. YOU KNOW, JUST DA BASICS.
Here’s my dream weird outfit.
Joyrich UFO Jacket, Billy Bob tee by Blood is the New Black, Shellys London platforms, and a cheerleading skirt.
I miss the era of Billy Bob and Angelina. It was truly nuts then: the “vials of blood,” the sex in limos before awards events, and finally, the infamous dragon tattoo. I lived for that shit. That was around the height of my own Angelina obsession. At least we can pay homage to that time in all of our lives by wearing that tee…
November 20, 2013 3 Comments
I first laid my eyes on the adorable vintage-inspired aprons and nightgowns from The Domestic Dame at Unique LA. Immediately my ojos turned into hearts and I was in LOVE! Aren’t they the cutest brand ever? And all made right here in LA!
Follow The Domestic Dame on Facebook and Instagram @thedomesticdame.
November 11, 2013 23 Comments
Picnic at Hanging Rock is a weird ass Australian movie from the ’70s that I love, not only for its crayness, but also for its beautiful scenery, underlining homo themes, and visions of schoolgirls frolicking in beautiful white gowns. I screencapped this movie about three or four years ago and it has been sitting in my Flickr library until now. I remembered I had them laying around after attending a new event series at Cinefamily called “Dress Up,” curated by Alia Pop, where you dress according to the theme of the movie they screen. For Picnic, I wore a short white lace dress that I got at my work’s sample sale (I didn’t have a longer dress that worked quite with this lewk) and ended up looking exactly like I did during my First Communion, no joke. This caused me to flashback to my 10th birthday party, when I asked guests to come dressed as their favorite singer. “Forever Your Girl” was the hit album of the time so I decided to go as Paula Abdul, but really just wanted an excuse to wear my First Communion dress again. DIVA!!!! My bff Jessica also came as Paula Abdul, but straight up (now tell me) looked the part with the high ponytail and slick all-black ensemble. Seeing Jessica’s on-point outfit made me realize that I was 1. an asshole and 2. doin’ this whole dress up thang WRONG AND DIRTY. I did not do thee great Paula (PAWLA) Abdul justice. Perhaps that was the moment when THE SEED of dressing up as authentic as possible was planted in my cabeza and mayhaps one of the reasons why I take Halloween VERY seriously now. But let’s PAUZE on all this deep Paula Abdul (ME) talk and discuss this crazy ass movie.
We start the movie getting to know a group of schoolgirls that attend the extremely strict Appleyard College in 1900. Miranda is thee girl everyone loves. Her classmates, teachers, the town menz, and one friend in particular, Sara…everyone is straight sprung on Miranda. Mademoiselle de Portiers, a teacher, describes Miranda as “a Botticelli angel.” Damn, can everyone PLEASE calm down?? There could be a drinking game for this. Take a swig (perhaps some sort of Australian hooch) every time someone screams Miranda in anguish or longing. You know what I see whenever I hear the name Miranda? This.
The film is rich with ultra-femme scenes like this corset-tightening train. Can you imagine having to wear that shit every goddamn day? You should see me trying to put on some shapewear sometime. Ridiculous. I look more like Fred Flinstone than one of these girls. All barefoot and squeezing into some second skin. lmao
For St. Valentine’s Day, the headmistress, who I like to call The Gothest Bitch, lets the class go on an outing to Hanging Rock with a couple of the teachers. Though the movie is based on a fictional book, Hanging Rock is a real-life place in rural Australia.
Cheers to St. Valentine!
Everyone’s having a jolly good time napping, having tea, and reading at the picnic, then Miranda and three of the other girls decide to venture off to explore the rock. Probs not a good idea, chicas.
As the girls make their way up the rock, they start acting strangely by speaking in stoner talk and taking off their shoes and undergarments. Sounds like a normal Friday night with my friends but in PAHR-world, this is SHOCKING BEHAVIOR. Deviants!! One of the girls knows something is up and is all OH HELL NAW, screams, and makes her way down the mountain to alert the rest of the class. The other girls disappear….literally.
Can you imagine if they did a modern remake of this and one of the girls went missing, and was found having sex in the parking lot, trying to wear a cheeseburger like a chancla?!? Do you believe in astral projection or alt-universes? I swear sometimes I hear these stories and check myself to make sure it’s not me transporting over there.
One of the girls is found, but can’t remember what happened at all. Her classmates do NOT roll out the welcome mat in this tense, yet beautifully dressed scene. You never really know what happened to the girls. I like the theory that they went into the alternate universe (probably to that cheeseburger chancla world.) There was actually a final chapter of the book that was published in 1987, three years after the author died. I won’t spoil it for you though, but believe me when I say it’s EVEN WEIRDER. Das why I loves it..
The Gothest Bitch.
Class Photo time.
My First Communion.
Also, I started a movie blog with some friends called Cinema Midnight. If you’re like, OH HELL NAW BETCHES. How you gonna start another blog when you are treating AL like some sorta red-headed (no offense my gingers) stepchild?? I’ll still post about all the girly//childhood/teenage nostalgia Rie shit on AL, but I wanted to start CM as a place where I could talk about other stuff like 80s horror and the Die Hard series. PLE DO TAKE A LURK if you feel inclined. Also if you want to submit a review yourself, HOLLA!
November 10, 2013 4 Comments