Obsess With Me: The Girlcrack Known As Target

targetisgirlcracks

There are certain mysteries in the world that I ponder from time to time. How were the pyramids built? Where do all my missing bangs combs go? And most importantly, what kind of supernatural force does Target have over us?!?

I call Target “GIRLCRACK.” It earned that nickname because almost every time a person (usually female according to my studies) goes to a Target store, they get into some sort of compulsive haze and end up spending A LOT more than they planned to in the first place. I’m talking about some serious impulse buying, like going in to pick up some tampons and leaving with $80 less in your bank account. WHY IS THAT?!?

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I myself am guilty of this crayness. I once went in to buy some 3-ring binders and left with a dress, panties (HOWEVER, PLE TAKE NOTE that Target carries the best black lace boycut panties as confirmed by a multitude of ladyfriends), a bra, various travel toiletries , a pack of disposable cameras, a double dvd of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure/Bogus Journey (How could I say no to Ted “Theodore” Logan for $5?!), two pairs of tights, nail polish, Hello Kitty car mats and some gum.

STRANGE THINGS ARE AFOOT AT THE BIG RED BULLSEYE.

Even thee Jackie Collins noted this suspicious phenomenon, seen in our Twitter dialogue below.

Picture 2Picture 12

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The last one is my favorite tweet of all time. I think we can take that statement out of context and apply it to EVERYTHING. Just read this over and over every day for the rest of your life…

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The wizardry of Target has been a topic of conversation for me since the early 2000′s, starting with a couple of old co-workers of mine. We would heavily sigh at the mass amount of cash flow we spent at the nearby Target during lunch hour but the feelings of regret would quickly fade and turn into a synchronized “I love Target!!” cheer.

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The different kinds of stupid yet amazing shit one might find themselves buying at this wonderland

So what could be the reason we are drawn to spending massive amounts of cash during casual Target visits? One person I talked to suggested it could be the lighting. Could the fluorescent glare be emitting some sort of energy that brainwashes us to buy? Perhaps it’s the hypnotizing swirl of the Target logo? Or could it just be the fact that Target is A SUPER-SIZED CONVENIENCE STORE that stocks every single item we will eventually need at some point. Other stores like Costco and CVS have a similar effect. Costco is a place where you can buy a new camera, Harajuku Girls perfume and Apple Gouda Chicken Sausages (true story). CVS is a given because you can buy hair dye, five bottles of nail polish and pick up your birth control at the same time. We can agree that all three of these stores have that same effect of convenience,  but there is something extra special about Target. Not only do they offer that desired easy-peasy convenience, but good quality and STYLE. OH HAAAY! Sorry bout dat, Walmart.

During my extensive research, I found this facebook group for people who suffer from the same Target GIRLCRACK syndrome.

targetfacebookgroup

Let’s see what the group members have to say about this epidemic…

targetconfessions

What was that, Joanne? CONTROLLING OUR LIFES?? YOU GOT DAT RIGHT SISTA!!

So my friends, do any of you suffer from the same Target affliction? If so, what do you think the reason behind it is? Do you even care or do you just surrender yourself to the Target gods and let them have their way with you (like I do)? Finally, has anyone seen any good Hello Kitty stuff in the dollar bins lately??

54 comments

1 Melissa Dominic { 07.24.10 at 10:18 am }

It happens to me all the time. I go for vitamins (every other week) and leave with purses or shoes or something like that. It never fails!

Target, what I’m looking for is a really good looking Thomas the Train lunchbox. I wish you could help me out there. If not, Hello Kitty is the way to go…
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2 Poochie { 07.24.10 at 10:24 am }

It is total GirlCrack. I too cannot go in without spending $80-$100. I have finally had to stop going in unless for dire needs. I have no idea what it is that controls me. It’s kind of scary how consistently I spend the same amount.

3 angelala { 07.24.10 at 10:29 am }

I’m SOOOOOOO jealous of your Target! We have Target here but i have heard about it store of mucho loveliness & cheapness! Makes me uber jello :,( One day i’m gonna save up & come to the America and shop in Target like a BEAST! YAS! xox

4 angelala { 07.24.10 at 10:30 am }

P.s. Also Primark here in the UK is also Girlcrack coz i go in for 1 thing & ALWAYS come out with at least 10 items! Muhahahhahaa! ;D

5 angelala { 07.24.10 at 10:31 am }

P.p.s i meant to say ‘ we DON’T have Target here…’ DUH!

6 Lara { 07.24.10 at 10:33 am }

I definitely have a problem with the red sticker clearance stuff. So may cute things for my kitchen are clearance items. Like I’m going to say no to plastic glasses with Liberty of London floral prints on clearance for 75-cents. Get real.

The panties are adorable, I love their tank tops and tees, cheap flats to beat up, love their clutch bags, cheap sunglasses I’ll end up losing anyways, snacks snacks snacks, tights, the colab designs…

Yeah, I have to give myself a good hour to hit everything, especially end cap clearance stuff. That place gets me every time!
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7 Nina the slackmistress { 07.24.10 at 10:38 am }

When I check in at Target on Foursquare, I always ask if I’m going to get out for less than $100. The answer is always “no.”

I did NOT know that about the boyshorts! I’m also a fiend for their workout clothes (I refused to spend $50 on a pair of pants I’m going to get grody in), and basic t-shirts/tanks (useful for a girl who works at home but doesn’t need to embrace the inner hobo.)

The one thing I’ve never gotten into there is shoes.
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8 Ashe Mischief { 07.24.10 at 10:47 am }

I decree this the best post of 2010. Target gets me IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. I’m lucky my man friend is always like, “You go in. You get the toaster. You don’t stop at clothes, you don’t stop in housewares or shoes. You get the toasted, you go straight to the checkout, and I’m waiting in the car while you do it.”
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9 Ashe Mischief { 07.24.10 at 10:48 am }

p.s. I too have the lace boycut panties. They make my flat white ass look AWESOME.
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10 Danielle { 07.24.10 at 11:35 am }

My husband and I seriously go there at least once a week… sometimes a lot more than that. One day when we walked in, one of the checkers we go to a lot came up and hugged us, we are there THAT often (it was really awkward though). I don’t know, they just have so much kickass stuff, it is soooo convenient, plus their clothes and hair accessories are fabulous. They’re one of the only decent stores we have in our city.
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11 eli { 07.24.10 at 11:55 am }

girl, I see all the Target freaks have come out too.

This is going to sound crazy, but I live right behind a Target and you have no idea how hard it is to not go in there everyday! Some times I even buy food there. Target is really heaven!

12 Karlito { 07.24.10 at 12:00 pm }

TARGET IS FRUM THE DEBIL!! !!!!!!!!
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13 Charley { 07.24.10 at 2:06 pm }

Just imagine what it’s like to have loved and then lost a Target addiction, we don’t have it in the UK *le sob*.
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14 Fajr | Stylish Thought { 07.24.10 at 3:08 pm }

You are my soulmate! Target is my Breakfast at Tiffany’s. When I’m there everything is right with the world! I’m a GirlCrack-head and proud of it!
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15 mary { 07.24.10 at 5:27 pm }

I’ve been wanting to go to Target to get some new underoos and titty supports. But now I’ll have to get the Bill and Ted DVD combo. I can’t wait to show you my new bang comb, Marie. You’ll be stoked.
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16 Edita { 07.24.10 at 11:18 pm }

I love Target! Their housewares section always gets me – especially the little bowls and cups on sale for like $.50 -it’s ridiculous. God, I wish I had just rolled around in there for a while before leaving the US. D:
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17 melina bee { 07.25.10 at 12:29 am }

I think it’s partly b/c they change merchandise a lot, as well as making everything look so super new and shiny with tons of bright colors and smart product placement (boy do they pimp out corner displays). The seasons at target are also quite short so that compounds any kind of compulsion to grab a trend before its over.
Thrift stores are my girl crack.
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18 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:01 am }

Dang every other week for vitamins?

19 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:03 am }

I feel like a scale needs to be illustrated showing the estimated spending amount in regards to what you go in there thinking you will buy.

20 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:04 am }

ooh girl if you come to the States you will be in BIG TROUBLE AT TARGET!!! I have heard of Primark but is it the same idea as Target? A store with a lil bit of EVERYTHING?

21 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:05 am }

And they ALLLLWAYS have stuff on clearance! It’s so good!

22 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:06 am }

yessss the black lace boycut panties are seriously the sexiest/most comfortable panties in the world.
RE: shoes..me neither really. I think they are most persons’ go-to for plain flats

23 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:07 am }

Ahahahah girlcrack is so bad your mang is fully aware!! It’s no joke!

24 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:07 am }

black lace boycut crew !!!

25 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:08 am }

ahahaha a clerk HUGGED you?? that is nuts!!! I love it! The Cheers theme song came into my head burly’ right’ now

26 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:09 am }

oh man I would be in dubble trubble!! I work near one and there is ANOTHER one down the street from it!

27 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:09 am }

HAIL SATAN

28 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:10 am }

I don’t know how people survive. :(

29 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:10 am }

yessss! it’s like Disneyland!

30 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:11 am }

I need to see this comb!!!!

31 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:11 am }

they have the CUTEST bowls and plates!!

32 marie { 07.25.10 at 1:11 am }

their visual merchandisers are straight up rocket scientists then!!

33 Steph { 07.25.10 at 3:03 am }

Australian Target never looks as awesome as the photos I see of US Target :(
That said, I still spend a ridic amount every time I pop by on my lunch break – I go in for tights and come out with paperbacks, lipgloss, nail polish and a set of picnic plates!

In short Target = international Girlcrack

34 Kelly { 07.25.10 at 9:14 am }

I’m convinced that it is because Target puts energy into STYLE and DESIGN. You can buy a notepad or a pillow or a greeting card or underwear at a zillion places. But Target manages to make those things not only cheap, but adorable. I’ll see something at target and think “Wow, I could buy a note pad for the same price at Walgreens, but THIS one has a sweet little bird singing a song with little heart notes, it is TOO CUTE to pass up.” It’s because they make things that we need every day, and they make them PRETTY so I would much rather buy little day-to-day things there than somewhere where my note pad would just be plain boring green or something you know? As for the toiletries, I can’t explain that. They’re the same everywhere. But maybe it’s because after I’ve tossed a dress and a notebook and a shower curtain in my cart because they’re pretty, what’s another $10 on nail polish and mascara and lotion?

Also helps that at Walmart, everyone who works there looks like they want to die. Everyone at Target is cheerful. It makes it a happier place so I want to stay longer!
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35 Kelly { 07.25.10 at 9:16 am }

P.S. I’m moving about a quarter mile from a Target in a few weeks. I know where my whole paycheck will be going.
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36 Danielle { 07.25.10 at 9:18 am }

Felt kinda tempted to photoshop the target motif over your glasses in the first pic.

37 jesi { 07.25.10 at 11:37 am }

ive gotten some hawt shoes there, namely some platform wooden heel swirly pucci-esque ones. they give you that “i am a SEX MACHINE” feeling.
being from the lame midwest, my friends and i would hang out in target in high school, and i would buy cds and hair dye and star wars kids party favors. still do the same thing, plus i love cheap gaudy jewellery now, and stuffed animals. they have the best toys!! i have a target skelanimals kitty on my tv. i like walmart and walgreens [we dont have cvs here] for late night makeup purchases and making the staff think youre a crazy crackhead. you can get your black eyeliner AND your antidepressants at the same time!

38 jesi { 07.25.10 at 11:40 am }

oh yes and it definately IS the lighting, its just magical. unlike walmart or other big stores its not stressful at all, its all neat and peaceful. theres some serious mind control going on there.

39 Mace Elaine { 07.25.10 at 12:30 pm }

Oh man. Me and Target have a long and wonderful relationship. Just a few week ago, I took a nap on a Saturday and woke up at just the wrong time – everyone had plans and I was just that much late. So what did I do? I headed to target at 9pm on a Saturday. It was totally busy! I ended up with shiny tiger striped flats ($9!), a new workout outfit, drain cleaner, cat food, and an $8 box of wine.

It was a good night.

I gotta get on those panties, man.
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40 Futurelint { 07.25.10 at 7:53 pm }

I live in Minneapolis where the Target HEADQUARTERS is… EVERYTHING here is a Target, it’s hard to find anything else! Plus I work across the street from the headquarters store… it’s just insane. And somehow everyone who works for Target HQ is super stylish and hip. MPLS = home of Target and Prince. We win!

41 kathryn { 07.26.10 at 4:39 am }

Target in Australia is so poorly staffed that I’ll go in and load up with heaps of goodies then get to the check out and see the lines and decide I just don’t want it enough … impulsive shopping is impossible when you get think time!
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42 Emily { 07.26.10 at 8:47 am }

those $5 double feature dvds are my downfall. i won’t even buy movies anymore when they first are released because i know in 5 years they’ll be waiting for me in a giant bin to sift through, paired with “the sandlot 2″ or something.

43 maria { 07.26.10 at 9:14 am }

gahh! you are SO right on target (sorry) with this post! i always say i’m just going for some shampoo but end up spending 100 dollars at least and get home and somehow find myself with tons of crap i don’t need! sometimes i FORGET to buy what I am originally went in there for. so i will have folders with little owls on them, socks, dvds, gold fish crackers, etc but won’t have shampoo or body wash. go target!
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44 TheShoeGirl { 07.26.10 at 5:39 pm }

I LOVE TARGET! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Ps- I see that Dexter in thuur…

45 nico { 07.27.10 at 4:15 am }

also in australia see: priceline. shiiiiiit. i went in there the other day to buy tampons and came out with a make up brush set, hair dye, perfume, razors, new make up etc etc etc.
girlcrack.

46 Kelsey { 07.28.10 at 12:41 pm }

How can you NOT be addicted to Target when they have so much cute Hello Kitty stuff? I got some glitter polish + nail art pen with miss HK on them the last time I was there.

47 + & – « My Milk Glass Heart { 07.29.10 at 4:37 am }

[...] of Agent Lover’s hilarious post on the evils of Target is so true. So true. Purge your soul and leave a [...]

48 Pikki Nikki { 07.29.10 at 8:03 pm }

every bit of this post is SO! TRUE! and in turn, totally hilarious. i LOL’ed a ton reading this… and dammit, those lace panties ARE the best!!! no muffin tops, ladies. *thumbs*up*

49 Vagiunta { 08.01.10 at 8:52 pm }
50 Grit and Glamour { 08.06.10 at 7:29 am }

OMG. That explains it! Girl crack!!! Why didn’t I think of that. God bless Ashe Mischief for pointing me here. You rock.

♥ V

http://www.gritandglamour.com
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51 Jen { 08.16.10 at 8:48 am }

Wow, this is an incredible post. This same thing has happened to me numerous times!

52 bun { 05.10.11 at 3:37 pm }

omg this is SO TRUE! I was just bitching to a coworker yesterday about my $75 minimum at target.
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53 fabulous { 08.28.11 at 9:01 pm }

i walk into target thinking im only going to spend 20$ on my nessesities, such as toothpaste,facewash,listerine…..but i always walk out with a receipt stating i spent 70$.

54 Linked up! September Week 3 | Thrift Eye { 03.24.12 at 10:40 pm }

[...] you Marie for diagnosing my problem…and then these tips for what to buy and not to buy at our favorite place, [...]

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