Posts from — October 2009

Cake Hats

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I’m selling a limited amount of cake hats today! Please visit the Bakery for more information!

October 27, 2009   9 Comments

My Birthday Wish List Fantasy

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I’m sure by now your 24 hour special event reminder for my birthday has gone off on your alarm clocks, Microsoft Outlook calendars, phones and pagers. Tomorrow is a time of celebration for us all, not only my October 16 birthday compadres such as Angela Lansbury, Oscar Wilde, Nico, Flea and Hobie from Baywatch, …it is also an excuse to pour yourself a STIFF ONE and listen to some sweet slow jamz just knowing that I am forever your ride or die chick.

My birthday is also a time for me to dream of what my future can hold. Even in shopping form. So I compiled a birthday wish list!

ON MY FINGAS BUT NEVER ON MY TOEZ: I like wearing a lot of rings so of course I’m going to want to add to my collection. These are all from Vivienne Westwood, Han Cholo, and Noir. I want more brooches too! In my dream world I’d have this Vivienne Westwood one.

HAND IN GLOVE THE SUN SHINES OUTTA MY BEHIND: Gotta get my glove game on. In NY I spotted these pink and black gloves at Patricia Field which would be perfect for “driving gloves” when I’m ridin’ dirty down the 101. I’d also love any of these Mod Cloth gloves so I can be classy when I feel you up like the grams on Sixteen Candles.

I WANNA VOMIT SEQUINS: I wanna sparkle and shine ’til the end of time. Give me these Betsey Johnson sequined pedal pushers and this crazy coat!

NOTHIN’ AS BOLD AS BOWNERS N’ GOLD: Even though grey is not one of my favorite colors, for some reason I am digging this purse from my #1 favorite Betsey Johnson. I think… WHOMIKIDDING of course it’s the gold touches that catch my eye. That and the bow. Gawd I’m so predictable. ::eyeroll:

PANTYHOSE IN DIFFERENT AREA CODES: I need some new backseam pantyhose to go with some sexy heels I just bought. These American Apparel ones will do!

BOOTS MEANS PU**Y IN ARMENIAN: My favorite gold cowboy bootz are giving up on me you guys. I got them for $10 at this random store in the mall years ago as a “joke”. As I always say…after some time, jokes for me usually “turn real.” So now I want some new gold ones AND of course some red ones. In the meantime, I will run these gold cowboy boots into the ground until the soles start talking and the heel breaks off. I haven’t even gotten lucky in these gold cowboy boots yet! ::raises eyebrows and remembers something m’lord::

POLLY WANNA CRACKER: I am crazy about my Betsey Johnson Pollys! I wanted these gold ones for this past summer but never got them. They are STILL #1 on my list. Patricia Field makes these.

NAUTICAL GIRLS NEED LOVE TOO: Sailor style never gets old for me. I adore this Stop Staring dress!

WEDNESDAY ADDAMS GOT NUTHIN’ ON ME: Since it’s autumn, I am going back to my Satan’s School for Girls ways (not like I ever left) but that means dressing like an amish whore! Love this dress from Mod Cloth.

PANTS ARE FOR SUCKERS (JK I LOVE U): American Apparel makes these really cute high-waist skirts and I want to add more to my collection. I already own black of course.

C’MON KITTY LIGHT MY FIRE: Hello Kitty bedazzled lighter! Need I say more?

ONCE I READ THAT COFFEE DRINKERS ARE BETTER IN THE SACK: I just went the week without coffee. WTF, but sometimes I have to slow my roll. I drank green tea instead, which was nice, HOWEVER, baby girl needs some caffeine! Last night I was so tired my eyes were closed and I was talking nonsense. I’m sorry Shaun. Coffee Bean I love you. I’ll take Starbucks too.

DREAMING OF YOU TONIGHT: I CAN’T BREATHE!! I NEED THIS SELENA BLANKET!!! Winter nights are coming…I’m going to be cold. Only two things can warm my young, nubile, bod up..a sexy menz and this SELENAS BLANKET!!! I’ll take both if you got em. Bidi Bidi BOMB.com.

HAVE MERCY ON ME: Lastly…my ultimate b-day wish..for THEE JOHN STAMOS, THEE LADYBONER OF MY LIFE TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ON TWITTER. Of course I’d love for him to sing to me wearing Clark Kent glasses and holding a Grey Goose and tonic…but I’ll take a TWITTER SHOUTOUT. Someone make my dreams come true. Just this once.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

October 15, 2009   11 Comments

Bjork In New York

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I never thought I’d see Bjork in person aside from being at one of her concerts. They say you should never meet your idols right? I’ve had talks about this before with my Headmistress. What if she’s a bitch? What if she knocks me out like that Thailand reporter? I don’t want to be disenchanted. I mean she IS THE #1 influence of my life followed by Mae West, Charo, Peggy Lee and Oona Goosepimple. What if the experience soured me as a fan resulting in my going home with a bitchface and tears, ripping her poster off my wall like that episode of Growing Pains (2:14) where Ben meets his idol (played by Brad Pitt) and he’s a jerk…

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We saw her at Battery Park. Alone, wearing a weird dress and some chanclas wedges that I swear my momma has. Like yooj, I was in La La Land and didn’t notice someone was looking at Reyna and I up and down like a chola about to rumble. However, Eagle Eye Reyna did and saw a familiar Bjork curve of a nose (is this getting creepy.) Once my cohort alerted me to this suspicion, we followed her. Her backside looked like her build (more creepy?)..the weird clothes…I followed as though I was in a hypnotic trance. Reyna was like “What if it’s not her and some Asian lady?” But I could FEEL it. IN MY BONERS. I didn’t want to say ANYTHING I just wanted to know that it was her, in my presence, in New York City, on this trip with my best friend who is also a big fan and looks like her (HATECHU.) Can you say Happenstance? Reyna wanted to go up to her, but I felt like Tom Cruise in Legend..DO NOT TOUCH THE UNICORN. I knew Bjork was not the type to give me a high-five like Charo. Reyna goes “Scuse me..” and Bjork kept walking faster. Again…”Scuse me, are you Bjork?”  and  and she shook her head no. But it was her!!! Reyna was bummed she wasn’t very warm, but I was just glad she didn’t karate kick me in the face. I did impulsively whisper “We love you!” like the creepster that I am. HAHA! Oh well. LOVE YOU FOREVER BJORK.

How could I not?

Have any of you ever met your idol? How was the experience? I think the one person I really want to meet is Amy Sedaris.

October 12, 2009   16 Comments

Tulle Academy

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The magicians known as Viktor and Rolf have taken tulle to a place where it has never been before.

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Not only do I adore the layers and layers of romantically ruffled tulle, but I also love the color palette they used. Very Miami Vice 80′s pastel. Look at these shoes… Valley Girl Geena Davis would have totally worn these.

LOOKITDEMSHOES

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Do my senses say Futuristic Ballerina from Outer Space?!? Whatever it may be, I’m in love. I want to be wrapped up in a tulle burrito and listen to some Futurecop! that’s fo sho.

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When I saw the ensemble below I kept thinking it reminded me of something…a cartoon character? Some sort of stuffed animal? THEN IT CAME TO ME…

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My favorite game from Chuck E Cheese!!!!!!

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Images via style.com , coutorture, and a random amazing photobucket

October 7, 2009   8 Comments

Julian et Julian

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Interpol and The Strokes are two sexy bands from New York City who blew up in the early 2000′s, with both of their leading men putting out solo albums this year…and putting me in a musical ménage à trois!!! Lately I’ve been on a Julian² listening binge.

i luv julian casablancas

Julian Casablancas of The Strokes has a new single called “11th Dimension” that I have had on OCD repeat for the past couple of weeks, probably driving everyone around me cray, but I don’t give an F because my ladyboner runs so deep for Jules… all the way back to them early Strokes days! His new album, Phrazes for the Young drops October 20 and although it’s too early to say if I will be obsessed with it.. WHOMIKIDDING. I will probably be all over it like soy sauce on rice. I haven’t been excited for an album coming out like this in a long time. His voice always turns me on. GAWTDAMN. At first, “11th Dimension” sounded like a total departure from The Strokes with it’s dancey, 80′s-synth sound, but then I heard the familiar Strokes guitar riff element, immediately taking me back to age 21 when I looked like Velma from Scooby Doo. OH JULES. Marty McFlying me to both 1987 AND 2002 in a span of three minutes!

Let me pour you a glass…

Julian Casablancas - “11th Dimension”

horn of plenti

Also on repeat is the new Julian Plenti is… Skyscraper album, which is Paul Banks of Interpol’s solo proj/Sasha Fierce-esque alter ego. Even though it’s not too different from the usual Interpol sound, it’s a really solid album. Did you know Interpol won best soundtrack in the Makeout Awards of 2008? He’s got a good set of horn-inducing pipes on him too.

Would you care to try a taste of this one too?

Julian Plenti – “Only If You Run”

Now if only there were a third Julian whipping up some tunes so the three of them could do a Tony! Toni! Toné! type of thang. Lennon is all I can think of but that doesn’t work. OH WELL.

Hope you enjoy!

October 6, 2009   4 Comments

Brujería

vero lake in I Married a Witch

Veronica Lake in I Married A Witch

And the shoes we’d wear in our coven!!!!!

mcqueen ss 2010

MCQUEEN!!!

October 6, 2009   6 Comments

Corey Haim in The Lost Boys

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COREYSING

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COREYH6

COREYH7

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coreyh2

October 6, 2009   13 Comments

Ouija Board, Ouija Board

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I love October! Rocktober… RAGETOBER. Not only is it my birthday month (October 16, set your alarms) but it is also the most wonderful time of the yeeeear…HALLOWEEN! I LOVE A GOOD SPOOK!! All year round of course but especially during Spooky Awareness Month.

  • jacket – Forever 21
  • old Topless CA t-shirt
  • grandma’s “M” scarf
  • Target skirt and belt
  • RIP my green and white heels that I got for $5
  • Marc by Marc Jacobs watch, ring and bangles from a street vendor and accessory store in NYC

Can I tell you how The Shaun thought it was a nice idea to parade around in my high heels until he stretched out and broke them!!? I had to go out wearing Nicki’s FLATS after that. You know, for a 5 foot nuthin’ like myself, if I have to put on plain black flats (NO OFFENSE) after wearing some sexy four inch heels I suddenly feel defeminized and depreshia. To make matters worse, I was sober. I couldn’t even drink my high heel sorrows away! No more playing dress-up for you Shaun-Nay-Nay!

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Also in NYC, I got these SICK Virgin Mary earrings. I bought a bunch of pairs for all the ladies, but I should have bought a backup pair for myself since I lost one earring at the bar! Again, I was not even drunk to justify getting all sloppy like this.

hail mary earring

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Do any of you like playing the Ouija board? I was really into ‘communicating with the dead’ when I was younger and have a few interesting stories about the Ouija…but shit is scary bo! Don’t want to F around with that kind of stuff too much. Especially because I ALWAYS think of that movie Witchboard starring a pre-”Here I Go Again” Tawny Kitaen.

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ouija1

Tell me your scary stories! They are one of my favorite things in the world! Also ple tell me which scary movies you plan on watching this month. Don’t forget you have to take one per day just like a multivitamin! Last year I watched a lot of Argento, Rollin and of course Nicki’s and my favorite: ALICE SWEET ALICE. Be prepared as I will probably have a lot of horror movie-related posts up this month!

October 6, 2009   11 Comments

I Miss Slutty Madonna

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Well it’s true. I’m nostalgic for early 90′s-era Slutacious Madonna. I remember often watching Truth or Dare after school. All those great scenes…the water bottle fellatio, Warren Beatty?!?!, the high braided ponytail..

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I loved her so much back then.

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There’s also that Marie Antoinette-inspired Vogue performance on MTV… GAWD!! That shit seriously fucked me up for life. It makes me so emotional!!

vogue madonna

Can you imagine going to the Blonde Ambition tour or Girlie Show back then? There is also her acting career in the 90′s to talk about. I liked her in Dick Tracy and always wore my red “Breathless Mahoney” nightgown. And how badly do you want to watch A League of Their Own right now?!

“Take a Bow” gave me a major ladybone for that bullfighter. And I loved her style in this video. Cocktail hat with netting covering her face, long opera gloves…I think this will be my fall look. Leather gloves and rosaries….again. Why not?

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take a bow

Winged eyeliner!

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Smeared lipstick.

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So CUTE!

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One of the things I’ve always wanted was that damn Sex book.

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You know all I want to do is post the super scandalous photos from the book…but I’ll be PG in case The Others are watching.

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This one is great though. (NSFW-merkin status) and this one is very NSFW – Click if you are alone, over 18 and into punk rockers, spiked leather jackets and.. fainting HELLOOOOW ::rubs eyes:: Here’s my #1 favorite for obvious reasons:

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Meisel and Sex pics are from o.c.i.n and madonna-online.ch.

Like a prayer,

October 6, 2009   14 Comments

Shoulder Pads With Wings

Can I confess to you my brothers and sisters that I am really into this Marc Jacobs dress burly’ right now? Since it’s made of grey sweatshirt material, I would either wear it on the treadmill, while doing jumping jacks or even during my toe touches.

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Photos from hollywoodtuna and dailymail

Don’t be scared bb. I told you I wanted to exaggerate everything even moreso than usual. My hips, my lips, my rubberface. Why can’t you just let me be the walking cartoon I am meant to be??! Shewt. ::flips hair:: Back to the topic at hand, prominent shoulders are obviously IN but can anyone even come close to the #1 super shoulda stunna, Klaus Nomi?

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I no TINK so, Ri-Ri. Game over SON.

Back to ME again.. perhaps it was the recent 80′s-themed event (The Shaun’s birthday!) where my “costume” required an intense shoulder-padded blazer that left me with the desire to carry more than just a chip on my shoulder.

Watchow now.
padow how u like dem apples

The new coaster.
pads + beers

Hello there shoulder pad. Care for a slice of my pepperonis?
pizza, pads, pearls and dark eyebrows

What do you guys think of this shoulder trend? TOO MUCH? GOING TOO FAR??! Even though I like it, I have to do this…

In the name of all that is Joan Collins I BIND YOU RI- RI!

bitchpleJC

October 3, 2009   9 Comments