To kick off the weekend, I have a lil’ blog mini series inspired by three different films with one thing in common…their main characters are getaway girls. All three of these bad girls on the run still manage to convey an effortless style while partaking in some dangerous activities! In this mini-series we will take a look at their individual styles and with the help of Polyvore, see if we can find similar looks using modern pieces.

With this first post, dedicated to the lovely gea*, we take a look at Anna Karina’s character of Marianne in Pierrot Le Fou.

Jean-Luc Godard’s usage of primary colors will appeal to those of us who lean towards Crayola-solid reds, yellows and blues in our wardrobe choices. I especially love the candy cane romper she is wearing up above. I can see Nubby rocking that piece! Unfortunately, that is the only scene you can have a good look at so I had to be quick with the screencap! Here’s a little outfit I put together inspired by the red and white usage. You can even throw some suspenders in that if you were feeling sassy enough.

Although nautical style became popular again in the past few years, I feel that it’s not really a true trend because it’s classic enough to be worn year after year. Do you agree? Am I bias since I love the look so much!? I think Marianne proves this to us with her sailor-inspired outfits in the movie. Hot in ‘65, hot now.

Lastly, I found a blazer that has more of a feminine silhouette than the schoolboy waistcoat she wore during the beginning of the movie, and paired it with a t-shirt that pays homage to a pivotal scene in the film…

And there you have an interpretation of our first Getaway Girl’s style, Marianne Renoir! What do you think? Stay tuned for Parts 2 and 3!

With summer lovin’ in the air, surely us ladies must be encountering some baffling questions while out and about in the wild frontier of the male species, so who better to act as our personal wingman during this time than a nice fellow from our Dear Menz harem?

Our new Boy Friday is Chase Lisbon, the mastermind behind alt. porn site Supercult.com. His Flickr photostream displays his talents of using uncanny lighting to make a naked girl in a sketchy hotel room look way more than just a naked girl in a sketchy hotel room. But it was when I saw this list that included the love of Morrissey, cholos, owls, Frankenstein and fantasy battles, I knew this was a guy I wanted to get to know.

In this edition of Dear Menz, Chase takes our weary hand and guides us into the wilderness.

Are you jaded by beautiful women since you are around them all the time? Is it like being a gynecologist in a way where it’s like “Bah, another vagina? Another day, another dollar” ?

Yes, a little. It’s really cut my libido in half. No question there, but it makes life a lot easier. It’s way easier to live when you aren’t constantly looking to get people into bed with you. It’s also helped me realize that NO ONE is perfect and that you can’t keep looking for physical perfection…. it’s like the Holy Grail, and you aren’t going to find it anywhere.

What is the number one deal breaker for you when you are out on a date?

Man… dates… I dislike girls that are rude to waiters or staff, I dislike pointy shoes, I dislike it when girls talk about “bathroom things” or that sort of humor. I have trouble being into a girl if I don’t like the way she dresses… I hate thongs, but it won’t destroy everything… hmmmm… I can’t stand when people are divas and complain about their food or take things back. There’s way more deal breakers than there are deal makers. I have a sort of black heart these days. My love life is best summed up by about 13 of the 69 Love Songs by Magnetic Fields.

How can a girl really tell if a guy likes her?

Well.. If a guy really likes a girl, he’ll buy her little tiny gifts, text a lot, call a lot, need a lot of reassurance, and make up reasons to contact them… especially the gifts… like, it could be anything, something from a 25 cent machine, you know? Just something that says “I was even thinking about you at the grocery store”.

If he doesn’t do any of these things, and he’s only calling her late night once a week, then it’s all just physical.

Cholos love tagging up their heinas. What are your thoughts on hickeys?

Oh man… hahaha…. sometimes I like to give a hickey for fun, but a lot of times I give them by accident in strange places and that can just cause trouble all around.

Since the Internet has made it easier to meet other people nowadays, has it made everyone sluttier?

Everyone is way “sluttier” now for sure, but I don’t know where the blame lays. Maybe it’s just because girls think they need to be a certain way with me, because of my job, or who knows… but things are crazy nowadays.

But definitely girls are growing up, seeing things on the internet that were not standard acts 15 years ago, and maybe they get the impression that that’s the norm. Who knows? I’m not a sexologist…

What do you think about hooking up with exes?

I don’t do it… I’ve only ever done that with “exes” that were “flings”, you know? No one that ever had my heart… I’m against it.

Is it true that white boys like to go down more than any other ethnicity?

I would think so. Everyone I know loves too… nothing can stop us…

What’s the sexiest thing a woman can do that doesn’t involve sex?

It’s all in the eyes…

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you Chase for being our eyes in the fog! For more of this grand gentleman and his work, please visit:
Supercult.com

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chaselisbon/

http://www.myspace.com/supercult

http://www.myspace.com/chaselisbon

Chase’s blog on Nerve.com

I still cannot believe this. I received the above postcard this past May from my brother, who had mailed it when he was in Cambodia….a year prior. You can see how he mentions my ‘forthcoming trip to China,’ which I took in May… of 2007. A year later the postcard comes to my house! Talk about being fashionably late. You so crazy Cambodia!

Has anyone else had strange experiences with other foreign postal services?

The Cinespia movie screenings at Hollywood Forever Cemetery are one of the best things to do in L.A. during the summer. You can picnic underneath the stars and among the dead while watching your favorite silver screen gems and cult classics projected on a mausoleum wall. This past weekend, they showed one of my favorites, Valley Girl, a movie from the eighties about the forbidden teen romance between Hollywood bad-boy Randy [played by Nicolas Cage] and his Valley Girl love interest Julie. It’s got that usual tale of opposites attract, much like your secret favorite movie High School Musical.

Valley Girl was one of those movies that would come on television all the time after Saturday morning cartoons, causing you to remember every single line for years and into your twenties, when you would frantically search for it in the $5 bins at Walmart. Who can blame you? Nic Cage’s chest hair in that movie is seriously majestic. It kind of resembles the Danzig skull, actually. Doesn’t it !? Let me know.

Who the F would sleep with a clown like that?

Julie’s preppy bitch friends, including my favorite on the right, Loryn the slutty one, played by E.G. Daily, who was actually at the showing and still looking gorgeous. I am so jealous of her hair here.

Slumber parties are one of my favorite types of scenes in movies. Yes I am twelve years old.

The Modern English “Melt With You” romance montage. Has there ever been another falling-in-love montage as great as this one!? I don’t think so.

P.S. F U M&Ms and even moreso, disgusting cheese-glue Taco Bell for ruining my “Melt With You”/ Valley Girl song association! That really burns my biscuits you know.

I love it when Randy won’t take no for an answer and starts putting out the extreme stalk. Ladies, do you find Randy’s stalking creepy or sweet? When does that line get crossed? And if it was the other way around do you think the girl would automatically be labeled a psycho? Frankly, I think these Romeos could get away with more back in the eighties, and these days Randy would get a mace in the face trying to hop into her morning carpool like that.

“Is the movie in 3D?” “No, but you’re face is!!

There’s no denying the soundtrack is one of the best made in the history of cinema. So now we must talk about Josie (fucking) Cotton who is on the soundtrack and who also has a cameo during the prom scene finale.

Sometimes there are people who are just so awesome, you can add “fucking” as their honorary middle name. JOSIE FUCKING COTTON ! She has my favorite outfit out of the whole movie: a bright blue top with vinyl mini skirt depicting a motor racetrack on it!

With her big, teased hair and blue eyeshadow, she looks like a rock n’ roll Elizabeth Taylor. Josie’s famous for one of the best songs from the movie “Johnny Are You Queer?” Can you imagine some teen movie having that song in it nowadays? Impossible! The eighties ruled as far as that goes.

Josie fucking Cotton - “Johnny Are You Queer?”

Josie fucking Cotton - “He Could Be the One”

Bonnie Hayes with The Wild Combo - “Girls Like Me”

Modern English - “Melt With You”

Truly Dazzling.

Ello putanos! It’s time for another unveiling of one of my crushes…San Francisco comedian Mary Van Note. When I first found out about Miss Van Note and her bawdy standup style, my first thought was,”Who is this pervert in a polka dot dress and why isn’t she my BFF!?” Her recently debuted IFC.com web series, Gavin Really Wants Me, details her hilarious journey to woo the sexy mayor of San Francisco and his 90210-esque hairdo. Today she chats with me about Pee Wee Herman, sex tapes, and her vintage style.

+ How did you get your start doing stand up?

Well, I went to college at UC Santa Cruz. I transferred there from a community college, so the first quarter I was there I wanted to take class that would be fun and would be a place to meet potential friends. I saw “Stand-Up Comedy” in the class schedule and just thought, “Sounds like fun.” I didn’t like stand-up comedy at that point. I hated what I saw on Comedy Central. I didn’t know much about comedy. It wasn’t until I started the class when I learned about comedians like Lenny Bruce, Mort Sahl, Andy Kaufman, Victoria Jackson, Judy Tenuta.

It was a great class because my teacher, Doug Holsclaw, didn’t try to teach us how to write a joke. He simply said, “Do 5 minutes on your childhood,” and then the next few weeks we’d be watching and critiquing our classmates. I happened to go last on the first assignment, so I was able to learn from my classmates’ mistakes. I went up there with my five minutes and had the best set of my life. I was incredibly nervous, but my teacher said, “Keep it.” And that’s how the stage persona of Mary Van Note was born. I’m myself onstage. Maybe just a bit exaggerated.

I realized around that time that I had actually done standup before. The first, first time I did standup was in middle school. At my 7th grade talent show I did another comedian’s act. I had seen this comedian on TV who sang a song about toast while wearing a toaster around his neck and banging it with a spoon and a fork. I looked this up online recently and this comedian’s name is Heywood Banks. So even back then I appreciated weird, silly, conceptual comedy.

+ What was your childhood like? Was Little Mary Van Note the class clown growing up?

I was definitely somewhat weird growing up. I wasn’t loud in class or anything, but amongst my friends, I was always goofy. In middle school I would fall down on purpose to get laughs. Later in high school I became real quiet and recluse. I’m still a pretty quiet person, but I’m still weird, so I guess that explains where I’m at now.

+ Who are your comedic role models?

As a kid I loved cartoons and Pee Wee Herman, of course. I loved watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse. I’m also totally inspired by 80s movies like Better Off Dead. I freaking love that movie. That has been my favorite movie since I was a tween.

It wasn’t until after I started stand-up when I started to learn about comedians. One of the most influential and inspiring comedians for me is Andy Kaufman.

+ Are there any funny ladies of today that inspire you and make you laugh?

Most definitely! A lot, in fact. Contemporary funny ladies I love are Maria Bamford, Kristen Schaal, Jen Kirkman, Natasha Leggero, Tig Notaro, and Sherry Sirof.

+ How do you feel about the morons that say shit like “Women comedians just aren’t funny”?

It bothers me, but it bothers me more that it bothers me, so I try not to let it bother me.

+ Recently Vanity Fair did a cover shoot of today’s hottest female comedians where each woman dressed up as a trashy Hollywood starlet. Which one of those tragic tabloid darlings would you have impersonated?

I was actually part of that shoot, but I decided to be Anna Nicole Smith. And I was really literal with my interpretation.

+ Your new IFC show, “Gavin Really Wants Me”, is about your pursuit of SF Mayor hottie Gavin Newsom’s heart. What would your dream date with Gavin be like?

It would be filled with dildos, hand-holding, rose petals, ice cream, ice skating, boning, and messing his hair up. Just messing it all up.

+ Can you give us any tips on how to get the attention of the papi chulos of our dreams?

Yes. Learn how to make a good beef roast. I season mine with salt, garlic and sage.

+ One of the things about you that caught my eye was your cute and girly style. Since I love talking fashion, I have to ask you who your style icons are.

Oooooo! I love clothes and shoes and pretty old things! I’m a huge fan of vintage dresses. I guess early on, it had to have been Drew Barrymore, who back in the day wore vintage clothes and sported daisies in her short bleached hair. I guess Betty Page too, though you’d think I’d look rockabilly or suicide girl-ish except I don’t have tattoos and I hardly wear makeup. She inspired my bangs and my collection of old vintage lingerie and stockings.

I’m definitely pretty classic. I’m not into a specific style, either. I dig 60s looks as much as the 40s and 50s. I like to dress up when I perform, like I’m some kind of indie songwriter rockstar. Lately I’ve been attracted to really girly dresses with flowers on them, ruffles and lace. I’m on the lookout for a nice GunneSax sleeveless sun-dress in my size.

+ And lastly, what would the Mary Van Note sex tape be called?

I LIKE DICK.

Simple. To the point.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In addition to standup, Mary also displays her comedic talents through hilarious zines, YouTube videos and one of my favorite things, dirty cross-stitch! She made the “Cochina Puta” cross-stitch I gave Reyna for her birthday [making her responsible for Mexican mothers everywhere to now be wary of my friendships with their daughters]. Don’t forget to check out her new series Gavin Really Wants Me on IFC.com! New episodes are up every weekday for the next couple of weeks. And for even more Mary Van Note, check out maryvannote.com and her myspace.

Every classy and sassy girl going to the prom needs a corsage right? The usual choices of flowers and ribbons are pretty little things, but a badass homegirl needs a unique wrist corsage that expresses her individuality.

I made my first tacky corsage back in high school. I actually still have it. The ingredients used? A doll head, aluminum foil, some jacks. WTF? Obviously my love for tacky ass shit goes way back. For our second Homegirlz photoshoot, Rucas go to Prom, I revived my corsage-making expertise to bring out the finest in prom girl accessories. What supplies do we need for this lazy crafting adventure?

* Tulle

* Glue Gun

* Ribbons and Bows for the bases - I used big hair clips and violently ripped off the snap barrette part like THE HULK

* Corsage bracelet found at most craft stores

* A bunch of crap from the 99

* ~Your imagination~

Since I am a theme whore, every corsage had to be specially personalized for each of my heinas. For the church-going ruca, a corsage embellished with Catholic imagery was perfect. I found the mini Jesus statue in a 50 cent toy machine. Added a cross and some Virgin Mary pins and there we have it!

The girly girl ruca loves lip glossin’ and Mariah Carey’s slow jams, so what can be better than butterflies, baby powder pink, and something that spells out just how “sexy” she is? The silver butterflies and “sexy” additions are actually from some cheap earrings and the little white plastic fan is a quinceañera favor.

The bad girl ruca loves nothing more than getting faded on a Saturday night. She even keeps a blunt in her corsage [and a lighter in her bra, of course.]

Does your girl have a favorite cartoon that might even double as her nickname? I took apart a Tweety Bird keychain and added some Mexican Lotería cards and a pink bandanna to compliment my homegirl Tweety’s dress. I love me some Mexican Lotería cards! They are weird and actually kind of scare me for some reason.

There is no hotter combination than Betty Boop and gambling. For my own corsage I took apart a Betty Boop earring, cut up some playing cards and glued on these mini card buttons and came up with this rojo-colored masterpiece.

Just remember homegirls and homeboys, for the Lazy Crafter, all you really need is a glue gun and your imagination and you can make your dreams come true…

It had been so long since my Homegirls and I have seen each other. Tweety and her new mang Chuy looked so fuu-ine slow dancing to Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together”. I was so jealous of her acrylic nails and lace gloves, I just wanted to rip them off her.

Instead I just straight stole her mang Chuy when she wasn’t looking.

You better run bitches…

Sometimes you laugh…sometimes you cry…

Don’ worry…I ain’t gonna leave you hangin’ without no goodie bag! Listen to this little playlist I set up for chu..then close your eyes and dream with me…

Nocera - “Summertime, Summertime”

Zapp & Roger - “I Want To Be Your Man” [ One of my favorite songs ever, brings me back to some memories *tears*]

Debbie Deb - “Lookout Weekend”

Rosie and The Originals - “Angel Baby”

Stacey Q - “Two of Hearts”

More of Homegirls 2: Prom Night can be seen on the Flickrstreams of Gigglez, Tweety, Chela aka Lady Tears , and Triste…

I was only nine years old here and my fears of the apocalypse were already forming. Poor bebi Marie! At least I entertained myself with some fantasy films. I actually have Return to Oz at home from Netflix right now.

This past Friday the 13th, I went to the Houdini Mansion in Hollywood to celebrate my favorite redhead Lenora Claire’s birthday! Like all of her events, the Scarlet Woman of the Apocalipstick’s soirée was anything but ordinary, as there were monkeys, butts, a moon bounce, fire eaters and Larry Birkhead. The supposedly haunted [yay!] property was beautiful, but easy to get lost in when you are fueled by vodka and without a flashlight. I wish I had my giant MAGNUM with me. Surprisingly, I did not trip and roll down the stairs like a big wheel of cheddar cheese. Those Target heels are like secret agent party girl weapons! If I can survive walking around Houdini Mansion in those, every girl should have a pair.

Shaun and Reyna with Lenora the Birthday girl…

Since I am being mindful of my spending habits lately, I knew I wasn’t able to get a dress made or spend much on a fabulous new outfit. I decided instead to revamp something I already had.

I took a great black and white striped cotton dress I bought a year ago from TJ Maxx, shortened it to a whorish hem, added a red crinoline skirt I bought at the garment district underneath, a corset-looking belt I got in downtown Ventucky, and had my bangin’ outfit! My only problem was it was a little pirate wrench-y and unlike every other freakin’ person in the world, pirates just ain’t my thang. [Unless it has to do with that Peter Pan movie Hook with Rufio.] I figured if I chose the right accessories I could possibly subdue that pirate look a little.

Nora, me, and Reyna…

Taking some feathers, a regular black headband, more feathers, a flower hair barrette with a fake bird in it and a glue gun, I managed to construct an easy-to-do French whore headdress ! That my friend, is my first example of “Crafts for the Lazy Crafter”, which will be my new column on this blog. That shit seriously took me five minutes. You can see it pretty well in this picture with my sexy friend Jason Savvy.

Amazingly, I came out of the party with nary a scratch on my headdress. I must be reaching some new levels of my super powers, people.

All in all it was a good evening and I was happy with my quickly put together party outfit, and people were nice enough to let me know they liked it too. Is it time for me to pitch a ’stylist on a budget’ television show called…It Costs Cheap to Look….This Cheap ?

Reason # 16.

The other day when I was walking down Main Street in Ventura to meet my friend, a lady in a wheelchair with a baby on her lap asked me for a cigarette.

I said, “Sure!”

The End.