I’ve always wanted a pink Christmas tree, so when I found a cute one that was also surprisingly very cheap, I knew I would have fun decorating it. I have bigger plans for it, but this was too hard to resist. What else do you do when you open up your craft drawer and see ten babyfaces smiling at you? They will be watching.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll start over and decorate it with the other Babyface. When will I stop with the 90′s slow jams?

A couple weeks ago my friend Emine took me to get my first macaron at Boule. Macaron not Macaroon. And yes, it was like a piece of cookieburger heaven in my mouth. The rose flavor was my favorite.

This past weekend I finally tried a Boba (I had the coconut milk tea). That experience was long overdue for probably ten years. And yes, it was tasty. It also made me miss Orbitz.

So many first times for things! What could be next? My first durian? I already did that. I’d link you to the picture but it’s not as cute as a face. I promise! Stank ass fruit, OH-KAY!

Emi and I also enjoyed a nice spa day at Cote d’Azur courtesy of the nice people at goldstar.com. It was probably the best massage I have ever had. Usually after a massage, I feel like I got my ass beat and slapped around and sometimes I even leave with bruises, but this one was perfect. I felt very relaxed, yet energized afterwards, and not at all sore or out of it. Am I the only one that usually feels that way after a massage?

I also bought the best perfume in the world. Since I love candy and sweet scents, I was ecstatic to find a fragrance at Anthropologie that smells like Easter to me. That really makes no goddamn sense but you know how I am with the power of scent! It smells like grape and My Little Pony. But it’s called Sweet Pea and Vanilla! It is made by Skeem, which you can find here.

I wish my website was scratch-n-sniff so I could spray it on my screen and you guys could take a good whiff. Maybe Apple can create that feature by the time I get a new laptop?

I have this saying in life, “Hello Kitty transcends any age.” It’s true, no? There’s plenty of us Sanrio fans who carried Pochacco tin boxes as purses in the sixth grade and now own Hello Kitty toasters as adults. So with the news that the M.A.C. Hello Kitty line will be dropping in a couple of months, it is certain there will be plenty of, ahem, mature ladies (ME INCLUDED OF COURSE) who will be stocking up on all the goodies.

M.A.C. has been serious about this whole collaboration thing. There was Barbie last year, then my fave Fafi (which I bought almost all of), Heatherette, Dame Edna (seriously wtf is up with that one, looks kind of wack status) now HK!! Really though, what can we expect next? Have they tapped out all resources for future teamups? Can we bring back Lisa Frank for this mutha? I miss me some Lisa Frank (the old school style). Will they do a Lucha Libre-inspired M.A.C. line? Bettie Page? Betty Boop? Tammy Faye (RIP)? M.A.C. peeps-in-charge, do you see how I am giving you all these ideas? You need to hire me to think of these things all day. Also, do you think if M.A.C. was big in the nineties they would have asked the Spice Girls to collab? I do. Union Jack shimmery powder compact, I know you are feeling me.

Back to good ol’ HK, so now all I need to happen is my dream collaboration that I have wanted for many years to come true…the Victoria Secret Very Sexy Hello Kitty Pushup bra. Thank you.

This past weekend, Leyla and I went to the Olympic Spa in Koreatown, which was something we had been wanting to do for a long time. We were gonna get RAW at the nude Korean SPA. After a summer of RAGIN’, eating crap, drinking some kind of alcohol every day, hatin’, and doing gawd knows what/who else to corrupt my body and mind, I felt like I needed to do a sort of detox and cut back on all this pollution. And what would be better than a spa trip to start?

Now, this shit is completely nude. There is no option for parading around in any kind of bikini unless it is an invisible one. You must let it all hang out. Since I plan on opening the Happy Panda Nude Colony for Senior Citizens later on in life, I didn’t have much concern with that. An owner of a nude colony is going to have to get used to these things, am I right??? Being naked is fun! Yay nude! Also, what’s that term I’ve always loved? Skyclad. Then I realized this would be while I was… SOBER. I didn’t think they served Grey Goose at the nude Korean spa, did they? How will I loosen up, so to speak??

THE HARRY POTTER TEA BAF. That’s how. There are three pools that you can hang out in before your appointment. A regular jacuzzi type one, a cold bath and a super hot Mugworts tea pool. It took a while for us to get into that one. I meditated and imagined I was in another place in time and somehow smoothly made it in. It is supposed to help with circulation, skin, digestion, menstruation… shoot, I guess it takes care of everything. Can it help with my credit card debt too?

Shortly after, we were both called to get our treatments. I lay my Harry Potter tea’d bod on a table covered in a fake Gucci print. What the? I loved it already. Then the lady went to town scrubbing EVERY SINGLE part of my body like I was a microwave dish getting molested by a Chore Boy. It took at least half an hour as she scrubbed away every person I have ever slept with. I felt so pure, so virginal, and with my eyes closed, I imagined I was a child bride being prepared for my wedding….I felt like I was in another country in another time. I was tripping for reals. After the scrub of life, I got a full body massage. And can I say, menz, if you make friends with one of these nice Korean ladies and have them school you on how to properly massage breasts, you will be golden, son. GOLDEN! FOR LIFE!

Afterwards, I felt completely out of it and dreamily met Leyla on the warm jade floor for a little nap time. But sleeping on the floor with a bunch of Asian ladies kept reminding me of that movie Brokedown Palace and I felt like I was in Thailand jail. Then it segued into Bridget Jones 2 so I really couldn’t fall asleep.

Later I ate red meat twice, and got tipsy at The Garter, danced some dirty hip-hop and was back to square one again. There goes my goddamn detox. What an asshole. On the serious tip, that spa was incredible. I still feel great. No wonder people get addicted and go often. I already want to go back! I remember having numerous vivid dreams that night. There was a lucid one where I was going for a run and it felt amazing. A RUN! I don’t run! WTF? When I woke up I wasn’t hungover either. I betchu anything it was that magical Harry Potter bath. Love you nude spa.

The MAC Fafi line came out last week and I was at the store first thing to pick up a few items I needed to try out in person. I never get this excited about makeup, but I do love me some Fafi. Ever since I read a blurb about her in Jane magazine [RIP] many years ago, I was a fan. She was also the reason I first became interested in street art. Look at this nerd picture of me in front of her mural on La Cienega in 2005.

As for the makeup, I am in love with a pink lipstick called Fun ‘N’ Sexy. I rarely stray from my signature red clown pout, but I am addicted to it’s sparkly pink tint. I also really like the Sassed Up iridescent powder and the Fashion Frenzy blush. The cosmetic bags are really cute as well as the t-shirt which I might pick up tomorrow. [I bought all of the dolls!] Check it all out here if you haven’t already.