Category — Wanderlust

Is that me in a corn field in the middle of the desert or is this a MIRAGE??!!

I could have titled the final installment of my Palm Springs Diaries: Only WE Would Go To A Zoo In The Desert, but I thought The Day I Almost Fainted would have more of a dramatic effect and a juicy plot. Emi and I thought it would be fun to go to The Living Desert, which is a zoo in nearby Indian Wells aka Indian Hell because it ended up being TOO HOT EVEN FOR ME (Cleopatra.) I still have yet to experience a real SoCal summer this year due to this weird ass January weather. Didn’t I complain about this thirty times already? (Sidebar as I type this, I am looking outside at the whiteout DRIZZLIN’ sky. Where am I, Seattle? HATECHU!) Anyway, I was all the more ready to “embrace the heat”…until I had a case of the dizzies in this DESERT JUNGLE and was afraid I was going to face plant into a cactus. Thank gawt I didn’t otherwise poor Emi would have to “Weekend at Bernie’s” me outta there.

This dress is from Charlotte Ronson’s collection for JC Penney. You know how I have loved me some Penney’s in the past. This dress is so pink and playful. It’s like Saved by the Bell, Kelly Kapowski print on the top with a pink and white floral skirt (my fave.)

Here is a magical gif of me taking down my long luxurious Rapunzel locks for your pleasure.

I’ve passed by this cute elephant sign many times on the way to Coachella and finally got to take a picture!

I should note that we ate at the original Native Foods twice while we were in Palm Springs. It’s this amazing vegan restaurant that has a few locations in Southern California. There is only one in LA for now but hopefully that will change soon. We even met the founder, Chef Tanya!

When we left beautiful Palm Springs we stopped to see the Cabazon Dinosaurs as per tradition. The Cabazon dinos were made way back in 1975 as a way to attract attention to the nearby cafe. But in the 90′s, the property was turned into a Creationist musuem, making poor Dinny and Mr. Rex (the dinosaurs) accessories to some religious propaganda.

But to Rie-Rie, this place will ALWAYS remind her of the glorious Fred Savage movie, The Wizard. “Califooornia!”

The wind was blowing so hard, even my bangs were no match against it. Imagine if I had a bangs helmet for these types of situations?

Closeup of my Mr. T hands. I will do a post on my rings addiction soon. PITY THE FOOL

I am going to think about this moment in time FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!

Like I said in the previous post, Joan Collins’ book, MY SECRETS was the official bible of this particular trip. It was a good alternative to the trash mags I brought for us to enjoy during our tanning sessions. Even though fresh celeb gossip is available to us 24-7 via the internet these days, nothing beats reading from a good gossip rag (The Enquirer, Star, US Weekly are lifetime faves) held in your very own hands. Related sidebar: I knew Rosie O’ Donnell was a lesbeyonce way before she came out of the closet because I saw a picture of her riding a motorcycle with her girlfriend holding tightly onto her back in The National Enquirer!!! Anyway, I digress…

My Secrets by Joan Collins (aka all-time best betch Alexis from Dynasty) came out in 1994 but can be very useful almost two decades later. The book is a collection of Joan’s personal pro tips on health, beauty, fashion, exercise and even yo’ attitude. It also features the most amazing photographs of Joan throughout her career.

A few of my fave tips so far…

+ “Three Bags. the best quality you can buy. All black, one Chanel style shoulder bag with the gold chain which is classic and definitely here to stay. One small clutch for evening, restaurants, theatre, etc. and one ‘tote’ type for office, travel and everyday. I hate cheap bags, and, like the women of Italy and France I would rather have one good one than lots of cheapos.”

+ “Don’t Look at a photograph of Kim Basinger in a pink Lycra dress and buy one, thinking that you’re going to look just like her.”

+ “Being ‘well dressed’ means different hings to different people. To a teenager it mean her special battered jeans, baseball cap and a T-shirt with a slogan scrawled all over it. To a glamorous young model or actress who is into grunge, it could mean trendy layered rags, a floral dress with Doc Martens or the dandy look.”

+ “Getting older should not carry a stigma. It should be a badge people wear with pride and dignity. With each year that passes, we should achieve more, and if we take proper care of ourselves, there is nothing to stop us looking and feeling our optimum best.”

+ “Tanning your skin is without any shadow of a doubt the worst thing you can do to it.” GULP

HAY JACKIE!!!! There’s her signature leopard print!!!

Kirsten Dunst eat your Antoinette heart out

A day without a glorious wig is a day without sunshine

Oh Joan, I thank thee for sharing your tips on how to live my fabulous life. I think you’ve given me inspiration to write MY OWN BOOK OF SECRETS! IMAGINE. Would any of you read it?

The room we had at the Ace was perfect for two ladies who came to Palm Springs primarily to LOUNGE. It reminded me of camp. We called it The Clubhouse.

This was our comfy girly area to read mags, talk shit, watch tv and CHILL OUT. I’m telling you it was a REAL vacation where I didn’t have to do nuthin’!! BLISS.

One of the best things about the rooms at the Ace is they have these hooks where you can hang random things and clip your photos on. I forgot to bring picture of Sir Staymoist to hang! BLASPHEMY! I did bring one of Emi’s weird crush though. Not sure if she wants me to divulge who tickles her ladyboner but his name rhymes with Dickey Bjork. SAWRE EMI. You can spot our matching fruit bags (made by Emi) and (a part of) her extensive headband collection.

11 pairs of shoes between the both of us…for basically 48 hours. Ridiculous to some, but POLLY HEAVEN to those who are in the know.

Dress Obsessed!

When we unpacked it looked like we were setting up shop so we started taking snapshots like two nerds with nothing better to do (until we started tanning.) Emi shares my love of accessories so I never feel like a whore-der around her. THANK GAWT I AM NOT ALONE! Also thank heavens for this Joan Collins (sister of our fairy godmother Jackie of course) book I brought to be our bible for the trip.

Eye of the Beholder rosette from Cloven Hoof, Emi’s jewelry line. Lurk the new lookbook!

Cloven Hoof beetle wing earrings that I can’t stop wearing, cake ring that Emi made me, other various fashion and vintage rings of mine. One of these days I will take pictures of my actual jewelry box/closet/U-Haul so you can SEE IT ALL

Peep my new FAVORITE Cutie Dynamite hair decor! The sequined hearts barrette is KILLA. Look for my interview with Cutie Dynamite soon. You can also spot my fave gold Fred Flare glasses…and about a billion other sunglasses.

Cloven Hoof beetle brooch, ello lil’ guy!

We got our nails did nearby where I also discovered my new favorite polish…”VIKINI GREEN.” What the hales is a vikini? I hope it’s some sort of inside joke among the alchemists who mixed this magical nail potion. UGH I LOVE IT

HAY YOU GUYS! I just returned from a mini-vacay to beautiful PALM SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA!!! Emi and I took a Thelma and Louise road trip to the desert and stayed at the SUPER COOL Ace Hotel and Swim Club!

In the lobby we were greeted by music playing on a record player(I peeped an Andrews Sisters vinyl!) and what might be the best photobooth I have seen in my life! The pictures come out in an old-school sepia tone and the machine takes credit cards! MOMMA LIKE

We enjoyed some marinated feta and couscous salad at the hotel’s roadside diner, King’s Highway. I’m wearing one of my adorable new hair bows courtesy of Cutie Dynamite! You’ll be able to see a better picture of it later in this Palm Springs Diaries series. Yes “SERIES” because in between our numerous outfits and obsessive photo taking, I wouldn’t be able to fit it all into one post.

A  for Agent Lover but chu know you can call me AL.

On Monday evenings, the hotel offers SISSY BINGO hosted by Linda Fabulous who belts out dirty Broadway ballads. We saw her perform a song which was something like “Who Do You Have To Fuck In Hollywood?” COCHINA!!!! Betty White better watch her back…

A warning…there are some SERIOUS Bingo players in there, notably older ladies and gents who probably attend on the regular. I was the A-hole who yelled out Bingo too early (SAWRE I HAVE NOT PLAYED SINCE MY YOUTH) and got a few death stares from some of the Bingo elite! Luckily their drinks were amazing and cooled down my red cheeks. My favorite was the ‘Desert Facial’ which is made up of muddled cucumber, mint, and pineapple vodka. Dis lush gives it an A ++.

The Ace also lets you ride their bikes around the town. If you guys remember, I have some sad childhood bike trauma but was stoked on attempting to ride for the first time in twenty years! Sadly I wasn’t as successful as I had hoped. Next time will be better once I have a lowrider and I’m not wearing Pollys!

Stay tuned for more of my Palm Springs Diaries!

Photo via lacarmina.com

One of my favorite ladies, La Carmina, recently went to my spiritual homeland of Tokyo to film a segment for CNNGo’s travel show…and wore one of my Petite Cake Hats for the shoot! HOW CUTE IS SHE!!

Photo via lacarmina.com

Read more about it here, watch the clip below and check out more of La Carmina for Gothic Lolita and Tokyo kawaii goodness.

I MISS TOKYOOOOO!!

♥ Hat from a stand in Harajuku, Betsey Johnson Pollys, Tracy Feith for Target dress ♥

After the wild celebratory night we went for a stroll among the dead at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. It had been a long time since I visited the grounds during the day and not on a Cinespia night.

There were beautiful peacocks strutting around like Vegas showgirls.

PARDON ME, HERE IT IS (I really did do that by accident)

HEEEEEEEY LITTLE GIRL I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND

Someone left white plastic fangs at Vampira’s grave so I took the black ones I had in the sunglasses holder in my car (YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU NEED ‘EM) and left them there too.

I bought this hat on a stand in Harajuku when I went to Tokyo last summer. It reminded me of the hat the girl wears in The Lover aka L’amant. It’s about the affair of a young French lolita and a rich Chinese man. TABOO AND SEXY

WELCOME TO THE LOVE BOAT

♥ heart buttons added to top from the chola store, Levi’s pinstriped shawts, red patent platforms, Nikki’s hat ♥

Don’t be fooled by these innocent photos of me in a pair of shawts. This was the start of a debaucherous extended weekend celebrating Miss Reyna’s birthday. She shares the same birthday as PRINCE BTW. I am going to go for a world blogging record for most Prince mentions in a non-Prince focused blog. If my calculations are correct, there have been seven entries with some sort of Prince reference in this blog’s lifetime. CLEARLY NOT ENOUGH I SAY. Do you hate me yet? I hope when I reach #20 someone will give me a bronze statue slash bobble head made in Prince’s liking.

Anyway the night MAY have consisted of a certain somebody putting their blog card in a stripper’s bikini and some failed Ouija-board action but most importantly,  I finally visited Sir Staymoist‘s star on the Walk of Fame! BLASPHEMOUS I KNOW! I should have been there to hand him a towel or something when they crowned him. Or washed his feet! Let me be your Mary Magdalene, Staymoist!!! Sadly many of the pictures from later that night were RATED C FOR COCHINA. HEY BLAME STAYMOIST FOR IGNITING THE FIRE WITHIN.

SB (SIDEBAR) a MANY THANKS to everyone on Twitter who helped me locate Stamos’ star when my Googlin’ was giving me the runaround! See Twitter is magick.

I always look forward to what THEE GODDESS Rossella Jardini has in store for us each season, especially for Moschino Cheap and Chic. Their 2010 Fall collection was centered around the different types of women who would visit a hotel, to promote the beautiful Maison Moschino which recently opened this month in Milan. I don’t know about you but when I arrive at my own four-star resort destination (Motel 6), my top is already halfway off, my tights are ripped and I have the inevitable red lipstick-smeared clownface, so I can only DREAM of looking this classy. Aiiii! JUST PLAYINGS MOM.

Photo via style.com

I usually don’t go for cat-eared types of things..reminds me of Hot Topic hoodies from 2001, but THIS kind of look is too cute for words…(even if that big jungle neck bush scares me, but just a tad.)

Photo via coutorture

Photo via coutorture

I obviously love french maid anything and everything!!!

Photo via style.com

Photo via style.com

These were actually looks from the Pre-Fall collection. I love this multi-tiered ruffle coat!

Poof!

Now onto the Maison Moschino!!! Each room was based on a fairy tale, so the decor took on the highest level of whimsy possible. Before I’d fall asleep in this gorgeous velvet (belbet) bed, I’d try to jump inside of that dress and do some sort of Lily Tomlin,“Edith Ann”-style skit for you…

Photo via truth.travel

Lay me down on a bed of roses! Would you choose Christian Slater or Jon Bon Jovi? Take your pick ple and report back to me.

Photo via apartment therapy

I want to go to the sweet room! Should I make a Cake Hat chandelier?

Photo via truth.travel

SWEET DREAMS INDEED

Photo via truth.travel

Susie Bubble was invited to visit the hotel during Milan Fashion Week and she has some great photos including this one of the heart-shaped door lock…

Photo via Style Bubble

Okay if you know me well you know I am fainting over that. I want everything like this, Tia Rossella. HEART-SHAPE MY LIFE. I’ll take a heart-shaped lightbulb, heart-shaped toilet seat, heart-shaped Q-tip, heart-shaped bottle of water and some heart-shaped contact lenses so you can literally see the hearts flying out of my eyes. It’s those cute little details that always make me swoon over Moschino. Check out Susie’s post for more photos of the tour she took at Maison Moschino.

I was writing my Gingerbread House Party post when I came across these old photos from the long gone Santa’s Village theme parks in California (that I would see the commercial for on television all the time but never got to go to. Why mom and dad, why?! MEAN

First I found this set of photos quite endearing and cute!

Then I pulled out my magnifying glass (which I keep in arm’s reach ’cause you just never know what you may stumble upon) and found some frightening things in these pictures..FOR INSTANCE:

GAH!! Ugh so weird!

And look at this, how sweet!

But then look at this photo! That bunny’s evil glare…

And I love clowns but this picture is pretty creepy, even for me!

Look at that cray bitch hating in the back! This looks like it could have some sort of Lifetime movie plot…The Scandal at Santa’s Village.

“Don’t be shy, come inside and throw your keys inside the bowl on the table”

There’s that bunny again. Ugh. Look at him sitting on that pole, having a grand ol’ time. What the F is this place?? A place I wish to go…that’s what.

I’m so mad we don’t have this kind of amusement park anymore.

No comment below.

Here’s the commercial I was talking about. This would play on television so often, I had it memorized. It’s been YEARS since I’ve seen this and watching it felt like I went back in time. I still know the words!

Did any of you California kids ever go to Santa’s Village? What was it like? PS. I HATECHU FYI

Edit: I just got my magnifying glass out again and found at least three more creepy things! How bout you? Take out your monocle and look closely at this shit like an issue of Highlights and tell me “what’s wrong!”

Source: alamedainfo

I recently went to upstate New York for the wedding of some friends of mine. Here’s what I wore!

• hat from a flea market a few years ago
• dress – found at a local shop for $25
• red leather Pollys- Betsey Johnson
• China pearls
• This ring is wild. I got it for two dollhairs

They had steak cakes  (made by Tres Jolie Cakes) on every table. It freaked everyone out at first because they looked so realistic! NICE TRICK YOU GUYS. I felt weird eating it (red belbets..)

Oh yes, and I caught the bouquet so dudes (and John Stamos) BEST BE READY FOR THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS (aka ME)

More New York pics to come!