Category — Dear Diary

I was only nine years old here and my fears of the apocalypse were already forming. Poor bebi Marie! At least I entertained myself with some fantasy films. I actually have Return to Oz at home from Netflix right now.

It’s pretty safe to say I was raised on comic books. I grew up with only brothers and my father was, and still is, an avid collector of everything comic-related so during my childhood I developed an equal fondness for Barbie as well as Professor Charles Xavier. These days I still get [cautiously] excited for the many comic-based movies that are released, am convinced that Oona Goosepimple [of Nancy and Sluggo] is a big reason why I gravitate towards all things strange and spooky, and believe that picking up a Betty and Veronica Double Digest can make you feel a whole lot better after a truly shitty day.

Among my stacks of Excaliburs and Archies, you could also find the dog-eared, yellowing pages of a comic book called Katy Keene, which featured the adventures of a raven-haired pinup model from the fifties and sixties. The thing about Katy Keene comics was that since she was a glamorous model, she would always be dressed in fabulous clothing. She was definitely a major inspiration behind my love of both dressing up and the fashion from those eras. Katy, along with other friends like rich bitch Gloria Grandbilt, sibling “Sis the Candy Kid” and even her boyfriends [yes, plural] would have their own paper dolls!

Bill Woggon, the creator of Katy Keene, would ask fans to submit wardrobe illustrations, so many of her outfits were designed by the readers themselves! In the eighties, the comic was revived so I had many of the newer ones as well. I also read a lot of Vicki Valentine, another pinup comic character of Bill Woggon’s. It was interesting going through these old comics and seeing how certain elements that were on Katy’s and Vicki’s clothes are the exact kind of details I now use for my own fashion style. I remember being six years old and looking at those panels over and over. Surely all those heart-patterned dresses and big bows must have gotten stuck in my subconscious!

A couple of years ago, Archie comics had another Katy comeback, but I haven’t found any of the books, which is fine because I fucking hate the artwork! And they chose to modernize her glam occupation as a “Hollywood celebrity.” BAH.

If you’ve noticed a change on the Pages section on the upper right of my blog, there is something very new and exciting! When I decided to redesign my website last year, I wanted a Paper Doll feature to pay tribute to my love of Katy Keene as well as to accompany the fashion-oriented direction I was going in. I asked the wonderful and amazing Gea to do the artwork. The clothing is from my actual wardrobe and I even have a couple of guest stars. It’s bananas how talented she is. Yay Gea! Be on the lookout for the upcoming interview I have with her also!

Take a look! You can drag the outfits and accessories to dress me up and click the swatches to change the background. The beautiful brocade and chandelier backgrounds are actually papers from Hambly Screen Prints. I love it so much!

Next up is deciding which Katy Keene paper dolls I want for a tattoo…anybody know a good tattooist for this in SoCal?

Also, present for you!

The Mills Brothers – “Paper Doll”

This was around the time I discovered my brother’s video camera and was really into “making movies.” I found some script I wrote with a logo on the back that says “Unipeg Productions.” Unipegs [Unicorn/Pegasus in case you don't know] can kick the asses of any other fantasy hybrid animals, FYI.

Easter was lovely, relaxing, and we had perfectly warm weather. I spent the earlier part of the day making vampire cupcakes while Edith Piaf played in the background. Baking while listening to her has to be one of the most calming combinations next to drinking champagne in a hot tub.

I got the idea for the cupcakes from this wonderful lil’ blog and wanted to try it out on the second best day to celebrate the undead, Easter! Afterwards, I headed over to the bff’s for steak, mimosas and Monster Squad to complete the celebration. It seems I associate Easter with monsters remembering I made a monster-themed Easter basket for an ex bf a couple years ago. Perhaps this is some sort of subconscious tradition!

Let’s laugh at this embarrassing fifth grade diary entry from the time I was obsessed with Monster Squad:

Oh, Monster Squad, you’re right up there with The Goonies for me.

It’s interesting watching kids movies from the 80’s and comparing them to the ones now. Back then, they got away with twelve-year olds spewing profanity, ogling tits and even some violence under a sweet PG-13 rating. These days people make such a big deal out of everything. Kids are hearing and seeing worse on the playground and the internet anyway! People are so stupid. I want to get into a time machine and become preggo back then so my kid can grow up on John Hughes movies and learn how to breakdance. Hmm, maybe I just want to give birth to a breakdancing version of myself. Anyway, I digress.

Let’s take a look at some scenes from the movie that you will most likely never see on kid-friendly films today.

Kids with guns! A dad lighting up a cig in his house in front of his son! And Rudy’s smoking a cigarette too. BTW, Ryan Lambert is still one hot mutha. This part is still badass years later and you know it:

Straight gangsta. There was also profanity o’ plenty from the kids in this movie that you will surely never see nowadays. Imagine Harry Potter saying something like “Fuck off, Malfoy.” Sigh. I’m so nostalgic lately.

This was right when the Gulf War started in ’91. I was ten here and obsessed with The Goonies. My crush on Mikey was for real DEEP. I always liked the unlikely hero best. Maybe I still do!

I also had a Goonies Club at school and filmed a “sequel” AND rewrote the story with me in the cast, as a cheerleader. BWAH! That will be a future scan. Also: “I am still searching.” What a goddamn nerdalish.

As you can see here, I was very fickle with the hearts of my childhood celebrity crushes. Here is a visual of my junior high playa status:

Also, “You may think I’m crazy but you are worse.” Take that Diary! And what kind of hectic month can a twelve-year-old really have? Shit if I know. What a drama queen.

I’m having some technical difficulties with photo uploading so in the meantime here is another excerpt from my grade school diary. This one was quite a treat since I probably just watched Back to the Future 2 [my favorite of the series] and was looking forward to the technological advances of the next decade.

FYI I am still a fan of Lisa Frank stationery. Also please note my valediction. I hope I was just being sarcastic with my diary.

A while back, I started scanning some some entries from my childhood diaries. I recently found even more embarrassing diary entries from my life as a shy child cursed with intense “Bitchface.” I’m going to attempt to analyze them in order to make my therapist’s job a teeny bit easier. Onto the first gem…

Tonya was my red-headed babysitter when I was nine years old. The only other memory I have of Tonya was when she changed her maxi pad in front of me and I saw her big fiery bush. This entry also frightens me because of my horrible spelling of the word “excuse.” I actually was a good speller back then, but I lost the spelling bee since I was too cool to study [lazy].
However, I still stand by my theory that the Speak & Spell made me become the spelling nazi that I am today. Does anyone else have Speak & Spell pride? We should get tattoos.