Posts from — December 2010

Whenever New Year’s Eve rolls around, I always imagine myself in a big furry coat, flashy stockings and fun shoes and it’s always because of Christina Ricci’s character in 200 Cigarettes.

“VAL, CALL YOUR MOTHA!”

Loved Courtney Love and Paul Rudd’s characters in this movie!

HOW FUUUUWINE IS HE WITH CHOPS!? UGH

I also try to wear a good hat on NYE as well. I was going to wear one of Grandma Marie’s hats today but I had no time to fix up my weave before coming to Pygmy Hippo (where I am blogging from today btw!) ! I’ll post a picture of my outfit tomorrow.

HAVE A SAFE, FUN AND FABULOUS NEW YEAR’S EVE BOOS! Can’t wait for a totally badass 2011!!

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As you might recall last year, I decided to stop doing year-in-review posts in exchange for the Top Ten Things I Forgot To Blog About. Consider these the B-sides of my 2010 blog mixtape!

1. The Time Richard Simmons Said I Moved Like A Stripper- I forgot to tell you all about the time I took Nikki Pee to Slimmons, Richard Simmons’ exercise class in Beverly Hills, for her birthday. It was the first time any of us kicked and stretched with THEE RICHARD SIMMONS and lemme tell YOU SOMETHIN’: everyone should exercise with “Little Dickie Simmons” in their lifetime. He is tough but he really cares about you, and super inspiring and encouraging and we couldn’t stop talking about him forever afterwards. WE WUZ IN LOVE! I was sore for about a week though! HE KICKS YOUR ASS. Oh yes….he said I moved like a stripper. :::tosses hair and bends over::: FYI TO YOU MENZ. WACHOW!

2. Museum of Jurassic Technology with Loulou - I was super excited to finally meet one of my favorite goddesses, Loulou of Loulou Loves You, in the flesh! Emi and I took her to MJT which is a destination that should be on everyone’s lists whenever they come to LA. It’s curiously weird and charming and something to see for yourself. I hadn’t visited since 2007 so it was nice to go back especially with Emi who knows everything about anything always.

all pics by Loulou

Lady Godiva OKRRR

3. Night Of The Living Dead At The Cemetery - In September, we watched the original Night of The Living Dead at Hollywood Forever. How HEARTBROKEN was I when I read John Staymoist’s tweet about being there and falling asleep like an old pepaw! SO CLOSE YET SO FAR! Another memorable moment from that night was enjoying this delicioso chickens my friend Hilary brought. Mmm mmm (Phaedra from Real Housewives of Atlanta voice)

4. OBVIOUSLY That Tweet Prompted Me To Write A Missed Connection For John Staymoist Like A GAWTDAMN CRAYLA FOOL – I mean I just wanted to offer him some of this delicious chicken!! (click pic to lurq)

5. The Contents Of My Purse Sometime In February – Because clearly you will be in awe of the cheap Jordana Lipstick, fifteen tampons, lil Homies valentine (from Glossy!), GIANT LIGHTER, Tokyo death cigarettes, and Immune Shot being carried around in my purse that day. I never get tired of ‘what’s in my bag’ shots. I’ll be sure to show you what’s in my purse pockets more next year IF YOU WANT.

6. Dead Man’s Bones - I saw our fave blondie ladyboner Ryan Gosling’s band live twice. They are truly legit too aside from the presence of that hunkenstein. HALLOW…They play SPOOKY DOO-WOP SONGS INSPIRED BY THE HAUNTED MANSION. Did you hear that noise right now? That was the sound of my panties disintegrating and blowing away in the wind.

Photo by Heather

7. Moustache Party - I attended the birthday celebration of one of my favorite chicas that I need in my life more… Rosa! She had a moustache party at a lesbian bar that has a mural of a unicorn. HOW DARE I NOT TELL YOU BOUT THIS. I don’t care what you say, moustaches are always gonna be fun. That Super Mario ‘stache I wore has been residing on my steering wheel ever since. This B KILLS ME!! With the framed photos of herself set up like that! What an asshole! She is definitely my soul sista!

8. How About When I Got Obsessed With That Younicorn iPhone App – To date, I have turned a mere 139 mortals into mystical creatures, including the whole cast of the original Beverly Hills, 90210 and a pair of Crocs. However, my work here is obviously not done and there will be much more Younicornin’ happening in 2011. I also sent the Younicorn people a message because I was trying to horn A.C. (Absolutely Charming) Slater and it wasn’t working. They replied with pretty much the best email ever. I love you Younicorn App and your creators!

9. Committed An Embarrassing Fashion Foul – Who knew that these sequined leggings would turn everyone’s ojos into X-ray glasses whenever a camera flash went off? I was wearing HOT PINK PANTIES WITH HEARTS ON THEM THAT NIGHT BTW. I’m glad we all got a great laugh at my expense.

10. Finally, This Video Of Me Dancing To “Don’t Fear The Reaper” W/ This Mayor Of Munchkin Land Cholo-Esque Mang - (Cutie Dynamite hair accessory featured in this segment!)

Ahh, A Hidden Track – My Favorite Things poem that I wrote for the holidays:

Candy cane lattes and cute boys in glasses
Flasks full of Jameson, Girls with big asses
Lisa Frank stickers and wearing huge rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Prince wearing Frankenflops, potato tacos
Perfect blunt bangs and dresses with bows
Pink champagne cake from Madonna Inn,
These are a few of my things.

Riding a segway in clear stripper heels
Kneesocks and frenchies and Betsey’s cartwheels
Pizza and boners and trips to Palm Springs,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Coconut water and Vanity Six
Tweeting John Stamos and gin and tonics
S’ing a j on your rug of bearskin,
These are a few of my favorite things

Hope your year was filled with just as much ridiculousness as mine! LUV EWE!!!

P.S. Stay tuned for my Top Ten Inspirational Celebrity Pictures!

What do Deborah Harry, Peg Bundy, Dolly Parton and yours truly all all have in common? Polly heels have adorned all of our hooves!  A while back I took a trip to the Polly of California HQ and got to know more about the shoe that resides at the top of My Shoe Triangle (sidenote: why didn’t I call this my SHOE PYRAMID? And why didn’t I realize this BARELY RIGH’ NOW!?! I’m so fob!!) Anyway, the Genie, which is the actual name for the style of Polly heel that I covet, originated in 1961 and has been around ever since. Patricia Field and Betsey Johnson are just a couple of the designers that have teamed up with Polly over the years to create various styles of this sexy shoe. Every girl I know that wears Pollys will passionately rave about how comfortable they are. When I went to New York last year, a gal who worked at Betsey Johnson saw my Pollys and stopped to talk to me about them, then we had drinks with her all night. She said she had EVERY SINGLE PAIR from Betsey! HATECHU!! Pollys do make girls bond.

This fall, Polly of California revamped their own line which includes not only the Genie stiletto, but clogs, wedges and a bunch of other styles that you can see on their website.

Some of the Polly archives!

A newer Polly style

Sparkly clutches!

Trying on a vintage pair of gold Genies!

LOVE the bow shoe clips!

I’m really into this multicolored glitter situation lately.

Cuff bracelets and more shoe clips

GIMME THESE BETSEY ONES!!

Pollys in their natural state. So naked!

I definitely need some new Pollys once boot season is over! Do any of you own Pollys?

♥ I Heart Ronson chainlink cardigan and belt, thrifted floral babydoll, texting gloves courtesy of Fred Flare, Cloven Hoof seahorse necklace, JC Penney bewts ♥

I think my #1 shopping surprise of 2010 has been my love for I HEART RONSON, Charlotte Ronson’s diffusion line for our fave department store, PENNEY’S. WOO CHAR! I have so many pieces from that line (even now as I write this I’m wearing a menswear style shirtdress from it.) I’m pretty obsessed with this chainlink cardigan and you know I rarely wear muted colors! I have also been wearing the shit out of these texting gloves. Although I like these cozy accessories during wintertime, I still yearn for the weather to be warm again. This cleavage has been covered up for far too long.

It is my pleasure to give a SHOUTOUT to the two ladies who actually made crafts of ME for the Simple Times contest. A special thanks must be given to Ms. Dee and Melina Bee for paying attention to my assholia ego’s call for a personalized Agent Lover craft proj. GRAZI FOR HUMORING YOURS TRULY OVA HERE

Ms. Dee made me into a cute lil’ illustrated puppet and Melina sculpted me as a sock puppet!!! Both ladies also included CORN!

Sadly, my jerk Russian hat didn’t choose either of them as winners for the contest, but their hard work shan’t be going unnoticed ’round these parts! As honorable mentions for their ABOVE AND BEYOND work, I will be sending them each a special Agent Lover starter pack. Thanks again m’ladies!

P.S. Next time I hope somebody out there makes me into a MARIONETTE! Or maybe a hand-puppet from the Land of Make Believe in Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. HENRIETTA PUSSYCAT! I want that to be my new Fake Bar Name for 2011.

♥ heart sunglasses from Ebay, 80′s faux coat from Emi, candy cane tea latte, plaid Heathers dress from Solvang, necklace borrowed from my sis-in-law, blue kneesocks from Macy’s, old red sock garters I forget, Jeffrey Campbell Splendids, my new fave Mejican purse ♥

Hope you are all having a lovely holiday weekend! Lots of love from me and Mr. Shankly!

xoxoxo,

My best bew Emi opened up the CUTEST STORE IN THE WORLD!! It’s called Pygmy Hippo!

Pygmy Hippo is a gift shop that specializes in handmade goods, jewelry, accessories, candles, letter press cards, books, toys and novelties (both new and vintage.) So if you are still looking for a last minute prezzie or unique stocking stuffers, stop by! It’s on 306 North Stanley Ave in LA, off of Beverly Blvd, near The Grove. Store hours and other info can be found here!

And in case you didn’t know, pygmy hippos are a real animal! Let’s watch this ‘lil one named MONIFA take a bath. AWW!

Last weekend a few of my friends and I went to the Ace Hotel in Palm Springs for a lil’ winter vacay. Unfortunately the weather turned out to be straight biblical so it was quite a difference from the last time I was there. Remember how last week LA was struck with 80 degree weather and I was prancing around like a bare-thighed asshole? Well YOU DUN GOT ME GOOD because it’s been raining nonstop for almost a week now and I have horrible seasonal affective disorder so I’m majorly depressed. I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY NOW. JK. Hold me! I can’t take these grey skies like the rest of you gothics do! ANYWAY…

♥ checkered I Heart Ronson shirtdress, purple kneesocks from Target, JC Penney boots, Cloven Hoof seahorse necklace, coat courtesy of Fred Flare ♥

Luckily we had one day of sunshine while we were there, hence my bare thighs again, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

After a day of thrifting we went to the Parker for drinks and hammocking.

I brought some records to listen to in our room at the Ace! I think I am going to screencap Baby Doll soon btw.

xoxo,

If you’re still trying to find cute gifts for your crushes and comrades, make sure you check out Fred Flare! I put together a list of my picks for this year’s Chrismukkwanza.

1. Your favorite fashion blogger would adore this beautiful Anna Sui book. 2. Get this Toddland UFO sweater for your boyfriend and devise a scheme to slowly steal it from him. 3. Tell your best friend to throw a 70′s mob-themed party for New Year’s Eve. She can roll around on top of a stack of money wearing this gold lil’ number. 4. Heart-shaped glasses will always be a great gift because they are instant mood-lifters…and if you know a boy who can pull off the black ones, get him a pair too. 5. & 6. make perfect girly stocking stuffers because they both turn something mundane into a lot of fun. 7. For the ladytraveler who is more likely to be in the air than on the ground, a sleep mask is one of the best inventions ever made. 8. & 9. are perfect for my fellow Boston/Frenchton lovers! ( I got the mug for my mom…shhh, don’t tell her!) 10. I see girls who ride bikes and go to the library carrying this cute little purse. I don’t do either but I’d carry it too. 11. And finally, any Peg Bundy-worshiping gal pal would adore this bag!

If you order by Friday, 1pm EST, you’ll be able to get it ground shipping by Xmas!