Posts from — August 2009

The folder titled “Inspiration” on my desktop is a magical place where I save images I find that “inspire” me. I’m going to start sharing it with you so we can get to know each other EVEN MORE. I believe we can build a better internet relationship if we just take off our chanclas and not be afraid to get intimate and show what’s really inside ourselves (and secret folders.) What kind of gems do you have in YOUR inspiration folder?

I’m not sure why I love that above picture of Kelis. Could it be the red lipstick braceface grin?!?? OBV. I love it so much I am about to carry it in my wallet. Speaking of red lipstick, does anybody have a new recommendation for me to try? I went to M.A.C the other day and wanted to get the regular satin M.A.C. Red but that betch accidentally gave me matte Russian Red (which I usually wear) and I stu put it on without even checking first. SIIIIARGHHH. I miss M.A.C.’s Red Hot. RIP four years ago yet I have a tiny bit I use for special occasions. These Koolaid-colored lips need a new option to stain the menz with!

BTW I decided not to put the bonus mix up yet because I feel Motownphilly needs to sink in more before I throw another one at you. So watch for that next week sometime!

I am off to San Fran for the weekend! Look for me coming down your street..IMAGINE!? (also from my Inspiration folder)

Ooh look a little song for you to go with this post anyway:

Connie Francis – “Lipstick On Your Collar”

Love 2 Love U,

When I was in Tokyo I promised I would make our friend Bob a New Jack Swing mix and I HAVE DELIVERED!

Let Rie-Rie take you back to the time when Teddy Riley ruled the radio, and the sexiest menz wore dookie chains and high top fades. Kid N Play knew that the higher the hair = the closer to heaven. Making this mix also segued into a lot of nostalgic horn for the 90′s so I will have a bonus mix up for you tomorrow before I go up to San Francisco to hang out with Miss Star! Hope this mix inspires a few Running Man dance battles this weekend! Let me know.

Rubbing you the right way (I hope),

Download: It’s a New Jack Summer !

* In case you missed the first one, here’s the Freestyle Summer Mix!*

What’s more badass than a movie featuring a young Diane Lane fronting an all-girl punk band? Not much…besides the makeup and clothes the girls wear in the film. Once you are done with the sequin masks and jeweled lips, why not keep surrendering to the dramatic makeup cravings and go for a ‘lil 80′s rock n’ roll glamour?

Those close to me are *privileged* to know AND EXPERIENCE how much I love to wear tights and panties just to lounge around…if only we could walk around in public however we gawtdamn please. Los Gagaz does it and everyone gets their own panties twisted! Maybe she’s just taking Stains-style to the next lev.

They even worked it right and wore panties OVER tights (helps keep them up of course)

CROTCHVISION

So what say you? Halloween costume? or maybe even a flash mob type of situation?!?!? Let me know if you want to organize a synchronized dance and we can all be Youtube stars. You know I’m always down.

Fabulous Stains by Agent Lover featuring Red Herring tops

The Stains – Waste of Time
The Stains – Professionals

Alternative title “I Don’t Even Know What To Write Here”

I found this video on Marina and The Diamonds blog…and well, I have no words. Okay maybe I do. You will first be entranced by her nude leotard cage dancing but fast forward to the notable moments I list below. Basically once she gets on the roof it’s the best…beginning at 2:49. I really can’t decide what my favorite move is. The “I’m Hungry” sign language dance? Her ass slowly rising like a Loch Ness Monster from the swamps?! Exorcist shoulder pop? Shit this post is like biblical verse:

3:18.

3:21

:55

1:02

1:18

You can thank me for all the LOL later. My hips don’t lie.

My new band crush is Marina and The Diamonds, which is actually just this one sexy Welsh woman (she says WE are the diamonds btw.) I have been obsessively watching her video for “I Am Not a Robot” over and over for the past few hours…or maybe not….that’s just cray cray…right? Bitch ple you know you listen to the same song over and over in your car… and cry too…right? Anyone? EYE ROLL. ANYWAYS.

I love all of her makeup looks in the video, especially the jeweled lips and eyes!

Thanks to Marina, I am now I’m in the mood for some dramatic makeup. I haven’t worn any exciting eyeshadow in months… just my usual wingtip eyeliner. What happened to the wild weekday nights of yore when I didn’t think twice about getting dolled up in turquoise glittery eyeshadow, RuPaul-worthy lashes and my red Bozo lips? Am I too shy to sport a loud eye to go with my loud mouth? NO WAY! Did I lose my sense of makeup adventure? NEVER! Am I just one lazy mutha? Yeah, probably. One thing’s for sure,  it’s time to get crazy like the picture below, taken in 2007, when Reyna transformed my eyes into a sequin mask while we watched Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, and during which I fell soundly asleep. It was quite relaxing.

Time to hit the craft store ladies! Get bags of sparklies, take a deep breath and steady that sober hand! Let’s bedazzle our lips and eyes and maybe even the inside of our thighs and say “FUCK IT!!! I WANNA BE DRIPPING IN GEMS AND NO ONE’S GONNA STOP ME!!!!!!”

First of all, how DARE I almost forget to do a post celebrating THEE day of birth of THEE icon of masculine perfection. The Ultimate of Ultimates… The LADYBONER of ALL LADYBONERS…

JOHN STAMOS AKA JOHN STAYMOIST! MY BELOVED GRECIAN HUNK!

So let’s rewind and let me break it down for you. Back in the day, when I was just a wee lil’ thang, watching Full House on TGIF, of course I was in love with Uncle Jesse! Eyes like the Caribbean Sea…the body of a Greek god…the bad boy rebelliousness yet underneath lay a heart of mutha fuckin’ gold…the HAIR. HAVE MERCY! It wasn’t until a particular episode of MTV’s House of Style where Dave Navarro had a framed picture of John Stamos surrounded by candles and feather boas that CAUGHT ON FIRE (Hilarious I DIE too bad the clip is nowhere to be found) did my brother and I decide we had to start building an altar dedicated to His Royal Stamosness.

First, stickers were made to make the whole world moist.

From west coast…

To east coast…

<

He was spread far and wide, in the States and overseas, and finally to Uncle Jesse’s place of origin.

Slowly the pieces of the puzzle for the Church of Stamos started to come together…including this actual recently acquired puzzle which has NOT been opened yet. I am saving that for a very special occasion.

Is that the Rockin’ Uncle Jesse Doll? ..and another Jesse’s family doll set behind it…complete with the twins?!!

This is a clip from a movie he did with VANITY called Never Too Young to Die. I seriously can’t watch this too much because well, you’ll see.

clip courtesy of TNUC

BTW, I JUST found out he has a Twitter so basically F U to anyone who knew this and didn’t tell me!! And what is with this tweet?? John (may I call you John :* )- did you ever get the stickers I sent to you via Perez Hilton in 2006?! OR WAS THAT A RUSE, PEREZ?!?

Jesse and The Rippers…I remember finding this video in 2005 and watching it over and OVER.

Sweet Dreams and Best Birthday Wishes Mr. Stamos (again, may I call you John or do you prefer HUNK OF MY DREAMS??)…it is my DESIRE TO MEET YOU. We can duet!! I promise I am a well-adjusted and bright young lady…who just owns a doll in your likeness….that’s ALL.

xoxo,

One of the things we had to do in Tokyo was go to the Meguro Parasite Museum! It’s free and you get to look at jars filled with parasites and things that make you go vom.

[outfit details]

• Forever 21 dress
• Sequined bow headband I made out of a clown bowtie BLOL (this was before we could get bow headbands EVERYWHERE gotta get creative baby)
• chinese mary janes
• marc jacobs white heart watch

The white tape I am holding is supposed to represent the THIRTY FOOT DAS RIGHT I SAYS 30 FOOT LONG TAPEWORM THAT WAS FOUND IN A MAN’S STOMACH THAT IS IN THE GLASS BEHIND ME. VOM VOMITOUS VOM VOMITZ! And no, they didn’t tell us HOW he got that anaconda up in there unfortch. Or maybe it’s better that we don’t know.

Nathan and the anaconda

Look at this adorable…WTF IS THAT?!

More things to make you lose your lunch. Sawre! You know I love to gross you out as much as turn you on.

aiiii!

Emi, Mina and Bob (who is the creator of Afro Samurai!) and Nate!

Alright..enough of that. Let me treat you to some PURIKURA! If you are unaware of the joy that is purikura, it’s basically fun Japanese photobooth machines with crazy backgrounds and decorations that you customize yourself.

Me and Emi!

In a scene for my Purikura horror movie where I crawl out like the girl in Ringu

And a ridiculous video of me in action! I am Lady Gigglez status.  EMBARRASS… but that’s because TOKYO and everything about it brought me so much joy. Sigh. I LOVE U ALWAYS FOREVER.

Afterwards we had more fun times in Harajuku!

I just did a fun interview with Rory at Awesome All Day where I talk about my ladyboner, Selenas, and what to do if your man is behind bars..you know, THE YOOJ. Go check it out!

Star and I in bed with a couple of our ladyfriends, Mary Bee and Larissa, at the Madonna Inn last fall. Photography by Evan Hayden.

The Carrie Nations - Sweet Talking Candyman