Posts from — January 2009

Going Gaga for Bows

So I know The Gays love Lady GaGa and I might kind of a little, especially since that “Just Dance” song now reminds me of a recent clubbing moment when I was dancing to this song and a certain somebody next to me was rubbing their crotch like a goddamn magic lamp, as if some genie was about to come out of it! RUB IT GIRL. LEMME GRANT A WISH, SHAZAM. Anyway, let’s talk about how I want the following to happen to my hair ASAP:

lady gaga


Taking this everlasting trend to a whole ‘nother level, betch please. Additional thanks to Aretha, bows of every kind will continue to appear throughout 2009, trust. Soon it will be diva status to carve a bow in your muff, OK?!

On another note, doesn’t Lady GaGa remind you a little of Donatella V. or is that just me?

January 29, 2009   13 Comments


I’m excited for the weekend because I haven’t been with my girls all together in FOREVER so I just want to leave you with two things…

1. I’m starting a band called KanYe-Ye West which will be the sweet sounds of hip hop fused with 1960′s Parisian pop.

2. UM WHAAAAAT!!! AMAZING: (thank you Shaunie poo)


January 23, 2009   8 Comments

Underwater Whimsy

If William Beebe and Jacques Cousteau could send us love letters in photographic form, I’m sure they would choose Bruce Mozert to be the messenger. These underwater photos Mozert captured in the 1940′s are so beautiful I can’t stop looking at them. Originally shot as publicity photos to promote the immense clarity of the water in Silver Springs, Florida, these gorgeous images can be found in this book that came out last year. The methods he used to create these amusing aquatic scenes during a time when Photoshop was just a glimmer in a geek’s eye, continue to inspire today. Releasing condensed milk from a can to imitate smoke for the barbecue picture?! This man was quite the clever and creative fella….

More about it all here. Let’s swoon together.


Underwater (You and Me) – Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

January 22, 2009   7 Comments

Unpleasant Dreams

This weekend I went to the screening for one of my favorite movies ever, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.

will u light my candle

OMG looks like me old school picture :(


grip tight
burn rubber

The only reason I’d want a baby: So I could do it’s makeup like this.

Then we met Elvira!

My ladies meet THE LADIES

My cleavage meeting her cleavage’s idol!?! Oh me oh my!

Shaun and I with Peaches Christ, who hosted the event, and Squeaky Blonde.

The Teaches of Peaches

With my lovely ladies Michelle and Tiffany

Michelle and Tiff!

Best pic EVER:


I’d like to discuss THIS aka SOMEBODY trying to steal my title of Best Bangs of 2009. Nicki H handed down the title of Best Bangs when she cut her hair but now Nikki P tryin’ to steal my crown!? WHY I OUGHTA. You better watch your back SON. I’m gonna cut off your glorious bangs in the middle of the night you mutha…Perhaps we should have The Society judge?? Hehe.

Home Sweet Home

And now my very gawth lolita outfit.I was kind of bummed not many people were dressed up. I expected to see lots of Elvira clones running around. At least there was your favorite clown with cleavage, ME.



  • LouLou Loves You striped bow headband! <3
  • H&M black wrap top
  • white corset belt from local shop
  • Papaya fake fur gorilla jacket
  • Charlotte Russe skirt
  • Cloven Hoof Eye of the Beholder ribbon brooch
  • knee socks
  • H&M heart purse
  • Corso Como wedges

PS. I’m so sad because I lost my camera!!! UGH So sorry no more pictures until I can buy a new one. WAH. THAT SUCKS GUYS.


But on the bright side, here is one of my favorite scenes, the Flashdance parody:


And for your ears’ pleasure:

Here I Am – Elvira’s Rap

January 21, 2009   13 Comments

Dress Up Diary

The other night I went to a Bettie Page tribute burlesque show to see my gal Dizzy Von Damn! twirl her tassels and shimmy her shakes. This is what I wore:

bettie page burlesque wardrobe remix


  • vintage polka dot scarf
  • F21 dress
  • H&M heart purse
  • red heart ring
  • gold bracelet from childhood
  • Target knee socks
  • Soho Lab heels

Miss Dizzy and I


In other news this weekend I have been obsessively listening to Europe (THEY ARE MAJESTIC) and some usual slow jamz. Shaun and I decided we are going to be K.P. and Envyi for Halloween this year. Whenever the gang and I are at a hotel we put on a lil youtube and listen to a lot of LL Cool J and old r&b jams and “Shawty Swing My Way” is on CONSTANT ROTATION. ‘EAR DIS:

Best slow tempo breakdown of your life:

Then I walked ova to him slowly
said I know u don’t know me
but this might be my only
shot at a Tenderoni…

So this costume also means it may finally be the time I get some long, luxurious acrylic nails to get into character. I want them to be dragon status where you can hear me tap tap tapping away on my computer very slowly. I never wanted to get fake nails before because I always had naturally long nails since the fifth grade. Yes diva at age ten, ok? Anyway I think they are amazing and hilar but I am not sure if I can handle that kind of ferociousness. Well maybe for two days. I might have to just dive right in and go for it.  Kind of like when I tried contacts, tampons, and sushi for the first time.

Okay, I’m seriously into this shit right now. Can anyone link me to some fabulous nail art blog where I can look at pictures of these all day?


Bonus: why does this song actually make me SWOON still fourteen years later? HAHA

AND EDIT: I forgot to blast one of my faves!


January 19, 2009   9 Comments

How to Get Me To Your Crotch

Someone had a few tricks up his wizard sleeve when he came up with this NES belt buckle. Boys, (or even ladies, shoot) if you take me on a date and wear one of these with the Goonies 2 game aka the only video game I have ever completed in my entire life, you will have me full attention at your crotch in no time.


Also see: a plate of cheese fries belt buckle with a side of ranch.

Ps. How many dirty jokes can be born out of this blog post? Answer: 13.

*Gracias to Chuckles for this sausage link!*

January 19, 2009   2 Comments

You Better Work

The other night I went to the drag art show and party at World of Wonder for RuPaul’s Drag Race, in which the fiercest drag queens will compete to be the number one Miss Divalish. I remember in high school I loved watching The RuPaul Show as I drifted off to beddie bye, dreaming of being a cover girl, giving a twirl, doing my thang, and making love to the camera, and then showin’ you the front AND the back, so naturally I was excited to be attending this chaotic circus! The gallery indoors was so packed, Ru herself couldn’t get in! I left before making it in to see the art, but I had a lot of fun outside taking pictures inside the Polite in Public photobooth and having some LOLs.

Lovely ladies Marla Rutherford, Lenora Claire, Pamela Vain and I got money and chu know it :

Got Money

Nicki, Shaun and I hammin’ it up:


I wore a high-waisted pencil cut dress with a leopard print blouse, my favorite Clovenhoof Eye of the Beholder pendant, and carried a vintage 70′s magazine clutch my brother got me years ago. Back in the day, ladies used to carry these in order to trick purse snatchers into thinking they were holding a folded magazine. Patricia Field also makes her own including this cute Barbie one.

ello u better work it Rie-Rie

You can’t see in the pics but I had on some thigh highs that needed help staying up and I didn’t want to use a regular garter belt (aka I couldn’t find it) so I adjusted my menz sock garters to use as thigh garters and legendary artist Olivia complimented them!!! So I think my fashion risk has been stamped: APPROVED. Also see: men sock garters as sexy thigh garters = fitting for a drag queen party. Nicki and I looking ferosh:


Let’s talk about the highlight of my life when Charo gave me a high five. UM. LISTEN. I don’t get starstrucked easily, but when I heard some “ayiyiyi”-ing and turned around to see magnificence in a red sequined mini dress, I couldn’t help but let out an exasperated sigh and exclaim “OH MY GOD IT’S YOU!!” and then she gave me a high five. I died. It was like Pope status. Coochie Coochie! Here she is with Judy Tenuta! (I hear Charo will be at Chumash. Anyone wanna go? )

judy and charo

DISCLAIMER: This following video is a circus in itself as the amazing Pamela Vain who I like to call GAHmela “interviews” me on the red carpet. Don’t faint.

First a couple of things…yes I talk all crazy like that a lot of the time and I have been fooling you with my British newscaster speak in the past videoblogs. Shaun has been giving me shit because I am talking too proper in the first videos. ‘Escoos me for being a lil’ nervous and making sure you can hear me loud and clear. It is My Fair Lady up in here ok?? Shaun…why you always picking on me. Anyway, I talk in a thousand different voices so if you can’t keep up please turn the channel because this one will go from BBC to BET in a second!!! Love You All.

Second, I know you ask yourself, why does this betch keep talking about subway sangwiches? It’s crazy and quick but before GAHmela asks me who I am f@$&ing, she asks if I have had a baby and I say only a subway sangwich because over fifteen years later I still auto-think of this Cosby Show dream sequence episode of Mr. Huxtables giving birth to one.Then I die and think of this second favorite episode.

Third, all of you thinking: “Some fashion blog you got here, asshole.”

January 17, 2009   8 Comments

It’s Oh So Familiar

A couple weeks ago I saw the video for “The Fear” by Lily Allen. There was no doubt I would love the style of the video. All that color! Balloons which become dancing balloons! Desserts! And giant presents that come alive and start cuttin’ a rug with Lily, who is wearing a cute mini dress with long hair and bangs, singing and dancing along as if she were in a musical…


Hmm. Wait a minute this looks familiar….



January 13, 2009   7 Comments

Hello Kitty & M.A.C. Pictures

More detailed pictures of the Hello Kitty for M.A.C. line have been circulating around the beauty blogs lately, helping me to make a decision on what to purchase in about a month when it launches on February 12th! Let’s take a peek courtesy of Specktra, Temptalia, and Beauty Anonymous

First of all, I love these press shots by Nick Knight. Bows, patent leather and milk. Pretty obvious concept of making Hello Kitty sexy and edgy, but I still loves it.




Lip chaps

I used to have this black patent leather Hello Kitty wallet with a hot pink bow that I LOVED (even though it could barely fit an ID card and five dollhairs) and the look of the line reminds me a lot of it. As for the actual makeup colors, I think a lot of them are pretty sweet, especially the silver nail polish. It’s been awhile since I wore that sort of color. I’m digging it. The white is hot too. Thoughts?


LipstixLipstix 2



HK big bag

HK keychain

HK bag

I don’t think I’ll be splurging on any accessories like I did with the Fafi line other than the brush holder and maybe the keychain. I’m not into the bags that much. I could probably find a cuter one at an actual Sanrio! What do you HK fanatics think of everything?

PS. This ain’t the first time HK tried to get a ‘lil wild. Aiiii!

kitty ground

January 13, 2009   6 Comments

I Left My Star in San Francisco

I spent several days in San Francisco to celebrate New Year’s Eve with my cohort-in-rojo, Miss Star St. Germain. I had only decided to go a week or two before…but last minute adventures involving Star and I seem to be a recurring theme, so I should stop fronting.

First off, I love San Francisco. I am still toying with the idea of moving there. And although I always had concern with the dismal weather (WHATTA BABY), I should be more concerned with turning into a full-fledged alchy! I’m already enough of a lush as it is, but here in Southern California we have to drive our asses everywhere. When we RAGE, we have to crash or flip a coin to be designated driver. So basically what I’m saying is FU SF’ers with your no cars and public trans. And FU too NY’ers ’cause that shit is the same over there! I’m just jealous because I have a huge car payment and crazy insurance and you guys are having cocktails every night. Maybe I will just move there and become an alchy. I would AbFab all over the place and you know this! GAWD. I hate all of you. Someone get me a job there already, I will just buy some new coats.



So I arrived the morning of New Year’s Eve, which was later spent running around to various parties. First we stopped at the wonderful Violet Blue’s house, where we reported live from the blogger bungalow. Us with the lovely ladies, Violet Blue and KumiMonster.

Star and I with Violet and Kumi

Later we ran around with Chaki and caused more trouble. Somehow in the night’s blur, I lost my hat that Dizzy Von Damn! made for my birthday a couple years ago. :( But a good NYE it was. At some point, a night was spent attending a toga party where I discovered the hottest new trend for all of us fashionistas…ROMAN SHIN GUARDS.


Gold heels + gladiator fashion = Hot New Shit for Oh-Nine, boo. You better work. See, this diva is not even fucking around. She is like,” Gladiator sandals? Bitch please, that is nothing. I am going all out in Roman armor to bring that trend full circle.”

killin' me right now

Should Star and I open up a bar called “Clocks N’ Booze?” Because it’s always time to get your fade on, SON.

Clocks ' Booze

We then made shirts at Bang On to put ourselves on blast and wore them during our photoshoot with Kristin of Design That Kills…whom I LOVE. I’m so glad I finally got to meet her! She is a stylish gal with incredible taste and also an amazing photographer. I can’t wait to hang out with her again. Here is a cute valentine that Star made and a collage she did of some of the shots!



And the video she edited!

Design That Kills Photoshoot with Agent Lover from Star St.Germain on Vimeo.

Excuse the fifty-thousand mentions of the word “awesome” by yours truly. I was just so excited, people.
Look how good Kristin made me look!

your one and only

Oh SF how I love you so hard. I miss Star so much! ‘Til we meet again my scarlet sister!

PS. Only a down ass chick will harmonize a ‘lil Tina T. on the fly witchu…

Untitled from Agent Lover on Vimeo.

January 12, 2009   5 Comments