Posts from — November 2008

Hello Kitty for M.A.C.

I have this saying in life, “Hello Kitty transcends any age.” It’s true, no? There’s plenty of us Sanrio fans who carried Pochacco tin boxes as purses in the sixth grade and now own Hello Kitty toasters as adults. So with the news that the M.A.C. Hello Kitty line will be dropping in a couple of months, it is certain there will be plenty of, ahem, mature ladies (ME INCLUDED OF COURSE) who will be stocking up on all the goodies.

M.A.C. has been serious about this whole collaboration thing. There was Barbie last year, then my fave Fafi (which I bought almost all of), Heatherette, Dame Edna (seriously wtf is up with that one, looks kind of wack status) now HK!! Really though, what can we expect next? Have they tapped out all resources for future teamups? Can we bring back Lisa Frank for this mutha? I miss me some Lisa Frank (the old school style). Will they do a Lucha Libre-inspired M.A.C. line? Bettie Page? Betty Boop? Tammy Faye (RIP)? M.A.C. peeps-in-charge, do you see how I am giving you all these ideas? You need to hire me to think of these things all day. Also, do you think if M.A.C. was big in the nineties they would have asked the Spice Girls to collab? I do. Union Jack shimmery powder compact, I know you are feeling me.

Back to good ol’ HK, so now all I need to happen is my dream collaboration that I have wanted for many years to come true…the Victoria Secret Very Sexy Hello Kitty Pushup bra. Thank you.

November 26, 2008   12 Comments

Twilight Nerd Shit

Hey y’all. Remember during the summer when I got super obsessed with Twilight and even put out a Craigslist ad looking for Edward Cullen? Okay maybe not that many people knew about that ‘joke.’

Seeking Edward Cullen

Recently, I have been having the same “Twilight” dream where I am attacked by a Vampire! Crushed garlic cannot save me and maybe I don’t want to be saved. I want Edward Cullen! Are you Edward Cullen? Are you the vampire of my dreams? Here is how I see you:

You are impossibly beautiful like a mythical Greek god Adonis. Your skin is like marble–-very pale, ice cold, and sparkles in the moonlight like diamonds. Your face is perfect and angular–high cheekbones, strong jawline, a straight nose, and beautiful, full lips. Your hair, which is always in casual disarray, retains the unusual bronze shade that you inherited in your human life from your biological mother. Your eyes, once emerald green, are now a liquid, golden topaz. Yum! Your fingers must be slender and your smile must be dazzlingly crooked. Can I trust you?

Your appearance should change if you go long without feeding (on me). Your eyes will darken, becoming almost black, and purple bruises appear beneath your eyes. You should be around 6’2″, and have a slender but muscular build (where it counts). Cha cha!

I would also prefer if you retain some of the traditional mindset and dated patterns of speech from the early-20th century human life. You must be charming, polite, determined, and very stubborn. You must be very protective over ME and put my safety, humanity and welfare before anything else (including X-Box 360 and pr0n).

I want you to over-analyze situations and overreact, especially in situations where MY safety is at risk. You must also be musical: have the ability to play the piano like a virtuoso. You must enjoy a wide range of music, including classical, jazz, progressive metal, alternative rock, punk rock. You must HATE country and disco.

Did I mention how you must be very ATTRACTIVE, like Chuck Bass or Robert Pattinson. Please Google them before you respond.

Yeah I didn’t find my vampire boy, just a whole lotta freaks and people who got mad at my requirements!  Anyway, who else watched the movie last night and DIED FROM LAUGHTER like we did? I have never laughed so hard in a movie theater even while watching an intentional comedy. Don’t get me wrong, I still fucking loved it. Rob Pattinson is fucking FUUUUWINE girl. But all those cheesy lines and narrations we ooh’d and aww’d over in the books translated to pure comedy on the silver screen, did it not? Oh and the dazzlin’, the dazzlin’!! I wish it were on dvd already so I can be watching it again right now just lol’ing and rofling and lollerskating and all that good shit.

Did I mention how I have no shame in my game?


But really, life is too short not to LOL all the time.

spider monkey

Still, will I regret being a big ol’ nerd over something like Twilight?

nerd convention


November 22, 2008   11 Comments

BlueBeard’s Wives

Even though Halloween is long gone, I still love me some spooky mysteriousness every day of the year. Did you ever see this guy’s Halloween in the Time of Cholera photoset? I keep thinking about this picture in particular. The girls are supposed to be BlueBeard’s Wives. I am obsessed with it!

halloween time of cholera

Man, even the bitches back then come up with some warped costumes. Hello ladies! I think I like it because it reminds me of this hair-pulling fetish site (Should be SFW but maybe too weird for work, TWFW?…and totally eighties for your pleasure) my friend Crystal showed me years ago but it burns a strong flame in my memories…you’ll see why.

I collect old photos but have never been lucky enough to find any like these creepy Halloween ones! So jealous. UGH LOOK HOW AMAZING THIS IS:

halloween time of cholera

November 19, 2008   13 Comments

Dirty Boys In Clean Sneaks

To start off a sexy weekend, let’s look at these behind-the-scenes pictures of ol’ CHUCKY BASS aka Ed Westwick modeling for K-Swiss, brought to me via my friend Melissa, via NY Mag, via Just Jared.

I haven’t thought about K-Swiss since the eighth grade when they were sported by cholos and hip-hop heads. It’s straight preppy gangsta if you ask me…PERFECT FOR CHUCK BA$$ and his clean-cut bad boy swagger. Look at him all Miami Vice with no socks. Work it Crockett and Tubbs, work that shit. I’d want to get his shoes all dirty. Shoooot. COME TO MOMMA.

November 14, 2008   6 Comments

Look At Dem Bootz

Has there ever been a certain piece of clothing you saw once and became almost obsessed with finding afterwards? My friend Nicki had been on an intense search for purple suede boots for a long time. The ones she originally wanted were at a ridiculous price of $200. BITCH PLZ. Luckily during a random shopping excursion to the local shops, my bargain radar found her a similar pair for about $25. I think you have to be careful when buying an article of clothing or accessory that is either trendy or not your usual style. Giving it a trial run by purchasing a cheaper version might be a wise move, before you end up spending all yo’ hard-earned paper on something that might be just be a personal passing fad. Wish I knew that back in ’02 when I thought I was cool buying THREE Dooney and Burke purses. HOW EMBARRASSING. I need to Ebay that shit away from me ASAP.

Nicki was excited to finally have her purple bootz, but then she was asking “WTF am I supposed to wear with them Marlow?” (My nickname if you didn’t know.) I kept telling her “something mustard!” but she’s afraid of it “looking too Lakers” and we all know my little problem with that. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to do the nude portrait of Nicki wearing the boots like she requested, but I did a little Polyvorin’ for her grape-flavored boots using the Steve Madden ones and these are the oufits I came up with:

She loves American Psycho so I wanted to put together a menswear-inspired outfit, incorporating a pair of skinny grey jeans, another item she had recently acquired, and a vest ( which will most likely result in her being mistaken for Christian ‘Ferosh’ Siriano again, a true story.) She’s also growing out her hair so I’m trying to push feathery headbands on her during the annoying in-the-middle stage.

Bitch Plz 1 by AgentLover

Nicki and I love peacocks and she has a beautiful tattoo of one on her right arm. The bird’s different colors would look great with the purple boots, especially if they are worn with a muted dress and then jazzed up with peacock-colored hair accessories and bracelets. I think an amber ring would be a cute addition. It reminds me of when I was nine and read this book about seeing the future. One of the things to do was to look at a piece of amber in the moonlight and you were supposed to see your true love so I did it with an amber ring. Whatta nerd.

Bitch Plz 4 by AgentLover

We also love us some karaoke so I had to find an outfit for her to wear while she’s screaming some Danzig into a mic on a Friday night. A lil’ rock n’ roll style is easy to convey with those delish boots.

Bitch Plz 3 by AgentLover

How excited am I to have succeeded in getting Nicki to read Twilight so I won’t have to watch the movie alone when it comes out? I was seriously going to wear a trenchcoat and some big sunglasses at a 10am showing, but now AS I WRITE THIS BLOG she is reading the book. Who woulda thunk lesbians would love Twilight too?? Hehe.

Bitch Plz 2 by AgentLover

I would also love to see her in some latex leggings but she’s not too sure about that…yet. In the meantime I hope this helped you Micks! And If any of you sexies need my assistance in putting together an outfit, or you just want to tell me secrets or talk about hottiez, drop me a note at!

November 13, 2008   12 Comments

Protest Dress Up Diary

Last night we went to the protest rally against Prop 8 in Sunset Junction. Here was my outfit:


  • beret – Target
  • top – so old, can’t remember!
  • white belt – local shop
  • red corduroy skirt – H&M
  • red sweetheart necklace – SF Maker Faire
  • red knee socks – old! maybe Target ?
  • nude fishnets – fashion district downtown LA
  • chinese slipper mary janes – Blue Moon, Ventura, CA

Ain't it da truf
I was inspired by Isabelle from The Dreamers and Marie-Pierre Castel from Requiem for a Vampire (who I am rapidly becoming obsessed with, more on her in the future.) Sorry so French again. I can’t help it, it’s in my name!

I was dancing in the streets with my asshole sign. Having a sign that says asshole on it probably makes me an asshole doesn’t it?

Prop 8 Protest at Sunset Junction 11/8/08

I just want my best friends to have the same rights as me. We need equality now, everybody. Californians, if you haven’t signed the petition to re-open Prop 8 yet, please do so here, every little bit counts. I want to do a tour around California to all the little conservative towns where people haven’t been exposed to gays so my friends and I can bring some LOLs to them. Maybe even a little breakdancing? Pop n’ lock? Electric slide? Dancing can bring us all together.

Prop 8 Protest at Sunset Junction 11/8/08

Stop the Hate Reverse Prop 8

November 9, 2008   11 Comments

Links à la Mode: The Independent Fashion Bloggers Roundup

Links à la Mode : November 6th

November 6, 2008   1 Comment

Dress Up Diary

My outfit for a nice brunch this past weekend…

Sunday Brunch Outfit


  • red beret- Target
  • red and white top -purchased from a local shop last year for only five dollhairs!
  • white belt – unsure
  • black skirt- TJ Maxx
  • white knee socks – Target
  • black oxford heels – Payless
  • plastic rose pin – unsure
  • red heart rosary – Ventura mission gift shop (from my nun Halloween costume of 2006!)
  • cat-eye sunglasses- Blue moon, ventura, ca
  • vintage red purse – belonged to my godmother

This outfit is so French! How Marie Madeline of me. I do wish my face was painted like the girls in Requiem for a Vampire though, another French seventies horror film I am now obsessed with (thank you Miss Dangerpaws!)

put the pedal to the metal bitchez


How I love clowns, vampires, cute French girls and knee socks…

November 4, 2008   6 Comments

Tomorrow Is Almost Here

No On Prop 8

{No on Prop 8 self-portrait of my BFF Nicki H}

Tomorrow is the day for  Californians to vote No on Prop 8, which if passed, would eliminate the right for same-sex couples to marry. It is completely ridiculous that many moons ago we were fighting for equal rights and we are still fighting for it in this day and age. This should not be our current reality! It also pains and disgusts me to see parents programming discrimination and intolerance in their children’s minds by making them parade street corners with Yes on 8 signs. This only promotes ignorance and hate for future generations. This also promotes me to accidentally flip off children while I’m driving. NO ON PROP 8!

Remember, without the gays we would not have fashion, people! Our Google Readers would be a sad and desolate town, with dirty sweatpants-wearing tumbleweeds rolling by. And yes, gay weddings are likely to be more fabulous than most straights’, but nobody has to get jealouz! That doesn’t mean we can’t all party together in the name of equality! VOTE NO ON MUTHA FUCKIN’ PROP 8.

This is a cute ad from the amazing Margaret Cho and Selene Luna, both ladies whom I love!


Also please check out my bff Shaun’s hilarious and powerful take on the subject!

And of course, vote for this cutie for president!

November 3, 2008   5 Comments

An Infectious Halloween

Did everyone have a RAGIN’ Halloween? My during-the-day Halloween costume was a schoolgirl witch. Satan’s School of Black Magic…top of the class! When I told Miss Dizzy Von Damn! what I was dressed as, she asked “Like The Craft?” And then I remembered my high school obsession with that movie. Some things never change. I dressed as Nancy from The Craft on Halloween…and then eventually every day after that. I heard there was even a rumor that I was a “lesbian witch” that had “threesomes”. Best rumor ever, right?

I found a mini witch hat at my favorite local craft store a few weeks ago and was planning on jazzing it up with some adornments, but decided that it looked cute plain and simple so I attached a black ribbon to tie it on my head. Can I wear this randomly throughout the rest of the year?
Lil Witch (Work Costume)

{ Details:}

  • Mini witch hat I attached a ribbon to
  • Top from local shop
  • H&M skirt
  • black tights and striped knee socks
  • mary janes – local shop
  • Cloven Hoof pendant (my friend Emine’s line, I will be interviewing her in the future!)
  • Betsy Johnson purse

And now the real treat…(Unfortunately I wasn’t able to be ‘Lil Kim or Weezy this year. :( )

I love nurses…



and I love birds…

Put those two together, add a dash of SICK and you get my Halloween costume: Bird Flu!


Closeup of Bird Flu Pill Nest


Styling this outfit was very last minute! I worked on it while watching Argento’s Demons which scares the shit out of me btw.. I’m so good under pressure…
I had some of this stuff from our Naughty Doctor and Nurse Party a few years ago. I LOVE that nurse hat, which I got from a medical fetish site so I’m going to have to get a replacement! The little jacket was bought on Halloween from a local shop on sale and I glued fake dead birds with X’s (‘oculama’, thanks Star) on their eyes, birds nest with assorted pills instead of eggs, syringes…

I was accompanied by Bloody Valentine, Smurfette and Jackie Sparrow!


There was a scary crawtchmonster bush coming to get us but luckily Jackie Sparrow broke out her ninja pirate moves.

Nikki versus Crawtch Monster

Smurfette loved her weave…

Smurfette and Bird Flu

Although I hate pirates, I forever love dis one.


How was your Halloween? Are you still recovering? Gimme the juice!

November 2, 2008   6 Comments