Category — Weird and Wonderful

Did any of you watch The Girl Who Cries Blood (BLUUUUUD), a documentary on National Geo about a girl who supposedly bleeds from her eyes and other parts of her body without any source of a wound? IS IT HAEMOLACRIA? MUNCHAUSEN? STIGMATA??? Let’s talk about this! First of all her raver name is Twinkle. Secondly, apparently they would only catch the bleeding once it had already started, and discussed observing her for a full 24 hours… but never did! Um, maybe Lil Twinkles is smearing her maxipad all over her face when nobody’s looking?? Now you all know I like weird shit like this especially growing up Cathol and all, but ple don’t do some super exclusive special without digging deep and covering all the bases. ANNOY! HAYCHU. I hate a pussy tease!

That same night while I was getting drunk in upstate NY, most of you were watching The MTV Video Music Awards instead of tuning into dear Twinkle. So let’s talk about who is more of an attention whore: Twinkle or Lady Gaga?

Basically when Lady Gagz heard Twinkie had some sick ass party trick where she could bleed from her eyes, Lady Gagz was like Oh Hale to the N, this bitch ain’t about to one up me! So she stuck her leg up on that piano (which reminded me of certain person who used to drive that way while driving AND simultaneously taking a bong hit in the early 2000′s – ESCOOS ME, THE SHAUN ) and smeared fake blood on her bod until she looked like a day-old Tampax Pearl. You know, I have always had conflicting feelings about Lady Gaga. I love slash hate her. I like how she “gives us something to talk about” and “is never wearing something boring” however, I don’t like it when people have to keep reminding me that “they are unique” but “take themselves seriously” even though they write lyrics about disco sticks and paper gangstas, but then I started thinking maybe this is just “part of her act” and the “joke’s on me”  which fucks with my mind and causes me to drink even more, which then results in me wanting to engage in deep philosophical discussion about Lady Gaga and her purpose on this planet.

One purpose was to provide the soundtrack jamz to our New York trip because yes, those ridiculous tunes are FUN to sing. Her music seems to mark important highlights of our lives. Did I ever tell you about the time a certain somebody was getting down at a club to “Just Dance” in the early 2009′s and was rubbing their crawtch so passionately I swear it was a magic lamp and a genie was about to pop out in a cloud of smoke?? THREE WISHES BOSS. I thought it was some sort of lesbian mating call and didn’t think anything of it. (Woops! I already did. SEE how she infiltrates our lives?!) Anyway, the other purpose of her existence is for me to think about her outfits and where I would wear them. For instance, I’d wear this on our date to Sunday Mass, where we will makeout in the confessional. Frenchin’ through the lace! I LOVE THIS SHIT.

I am quite fond of red lace. It’s very old Italian putana. It makes me want to get out some leggings I have that my exboyf called “80′s porn tights” and also my “Vanity 6 gloves” YES!

I also like this birdnest beard. I would wear that in the Jack in the Box drive through. Four 99 cent tacos plz! BLOL @ Beyonce’s fake smile.

I hope she wears this next! I found this pic in my photobucket of 2004. Wtf is it? I always thought it was a comfortable SOMF mask. Let me know?

Your around the way girl,

The folder titled “Inspiration” on my desktop is a magical place where I save images I find that “inspire” me. I’m going to start sharing it with you so we can get to know each other EVEN MORE. I believe we can build a better internet relationship if we just take off our chanclas and not be afraid to get intimate and show what’s really inside ourselves (and secret folders.) What kind of gems do you have in YOUR inspiration folder?

I’m not sure why I love that above picture of Kelis. Could it be the red lipstick braceface grin?!?? OBV. I love it so much I am about to carry it in my wallet. Speaking of red lipstick, does anybody have a new recommendation for me to try? I went to M.A.C the other day and wanted to get the regular satin M.A.C. Red but that betch accidentally gave me matte Russian Red (which I usually wear) and I stu put it on without even checking first. SIIIIARGHHH. I miss M.A.C.’s Red Hot. RIP four years ago yet I have a tiny bit I use for special occasions. These Koolaid-colored lips need a new option to stain the menz with!

BTW I decided not to put the bonus mix up yet because I feel Motownphilly needs to sink in more before I throw another one at you. So watch for that next week sometime!

I am off to San Fran for the weekend! Look for me coming down your street..IMAGINE!? (also from my Inspiration folder)

Ooh look a little song for you to go with this post anyway:

Connie Francis – “Lipstick On Your Collar”

Love 2 Love U,

When I was in Tokyo I promised I would make our friend Bob a New Jack Swing mix and I HAVE DELIVERED!

Let Rie-Rie take you back to the time when Teddy Riley ruled the radio, and the sexiest menz wore dookie chains and high top fades. Kid N Play knew that the higher the hair = the closer to heaven. Making this mix also segued into a lot of nostalgic horn for the 90′s so I will have a bonus mix up for you tomorrow before I go up to San Francisco to hang out with Miss Star! Hope this mix inspires a few Running Man dance battles this weekend! Let me know.

Rubbing you the right way (I hope),

Download: It’s a New Jack Summer !

* In case you missed the first one, here’s the Freestyle Summer Mix!*

Alternative title “I Don’t Even Know What To Write Here”

I found this video on Marina and The Diamonds blog…and well, I have no words. Okay maybe I do. You will first be entranced by her nude leotard cage dancing but fast forward to the notable moments I list below. Basically once she gets on the roof it’s the best…beginning at 2:49. I really can’t decide what my favorite move is. The “I’m Hungry” sign language dance? Her ass slowly rising like a Loch Ness Monster from the swamps?! Exorcist shoulder pop? Shit this post is like biblical verse:

3:18.

3:21

:55

1:02

1:18

You can thank me for all the LOL later. My hips don’t lie.

Emi spotted this umbrella and called me over to peep it while we were shopping in Shinjuku. JAWDROP. Is that an umbrelly made with glamorous acrylic nails????? Simply amazing beyond words. Craft proj, anyone?

AAHH I love it!!!

That’s the one thing we didn’t get to do in Tokyo: get our nails did. We looked into it though, and found a salon that was open ’til 4am. UM YES 4AM I SAYS. That means that shit is still open after bars close in L.A. What kind of dreamland is this Tokyo??? We were planning on going (late after karaoke!) but time and liquor flew and it was pretty pricey anyway. We estimated it would probably cost about $200 to get a sick set of nails done at the venue.$200 for something that lasts only a week or two? HALE 2 THA NO. But then our friend informed us they use special materials and these ferosh Tokyo nails would last a month or longer. REALLY? Kinda crazy.

Photo via La Carmina

Tokyo is the land of nail decor. You can find a smorgasbord of crazy nail decals and accessories anywhere you go. Naturally we stocked up, so you’ll be seeing what types of goodies we acquired in future blog posts!

Just to show you how fucking CUTE that place is and why I truly believe they built that city for girls like me (and you)?

LURK DIS LIGHTER SPREAD BO!!:

Not pictured: corn lighter, DEATH & Golden Bat cigarettes. Can’t deal. Refuse to.

Also Sidebar: some Zapp N Roger to fall asleep to. BEAUT

I DIE, RESURRECT, DIE AGAIN -*DRDA STATUS THANK U. This Hello Kitty HOUSE OF MY DREAMS is actually a townhouse hotel in Hsinchu, Taiwan!

Years ago I heard about the Hello Kitty S&M love hotel in Japan which is apparently now closed. Nooo! Luckily, there are now other Hello Kitty-themed hotels where you (and I) can feed our fetish for the mouthless kitty with the big red bow (but you’ll have to bring your own bondage.) Aside from the townhouse, there is a hotel in Taiwan that features a Hello Kitty suite. And in Taipei, a restaurant called Hello Kitty Sweets serves desserts and other food. It’s obvious where I want to go on vacation. LET DEW DIS.

Thank you to my boo HENA who KNOWS. Townhouse Pics via joanneteh_32.

Related Posts:

+ Hello Kitty for M.A.C.

+ The Pink Palace

+ Hello Kitty & M.A.C. Pictures

+ Hello Kitty is a Drug Pusher

Happy Friday! A shoutout to the constantly inspiring Sheena She of Chainsaws and Jelly! She made me a Creepy Girl of the Week. HELLZ YEZ. Thank you!

And being a lover of all that is creepy, I’ve always wanted a Monster Squad-like club so I decided to make one myself! Welcome to The Awesome Cryptozoology Club! The contributors are several of my favorite ladies who love the strange stuff too. It’s still a bit under construction but there’s already quite a few posts to check out. If you are into weird shit, go on’ and give it a lil lurk….

Have a great weekend putanas and putanos!

My dear friend Lenora Claire has a new web series on World of Wonder called doNUTS! Please check it out below… I’m sure many of you have had similar experiences late at night, after da club…that Shaman you saw eating a bear claw and humming “Tiny Bubbles” probably wasn’t a drunk dream after all.

On doNUTS, host Lenora Claire encounters the freaky, fun weirdos who hang out at 24-hour donut shops all over LA. In this first installment, Lenora visits Tang’s Donuts in Silverlake, where she crosses paths with pervy late-night chess players and Silverlake’s local celeb — The Five Dollar Guy! Plus, Lenora offers her own savvy tip on how to ward off handsy drunk dudes…

If Lenora looks familiar to you especially lately, you might have seen her gorgeous face plastered all over NYC or in the latest issue of Vanity Fair. She’s part of USA Network’s Character Project and was shot by Marla Rutherford. You can see her here!

Did you see the pink dolphin?! It’s like Strawberry Quik!

I wanna make earrings outta this lil guy…

Wouldn’t this katydid be even cuter with a white tuxedo and top hat?

I wish all animals were pink. I’ve always wanted a pink poodle AND if spiders were pink I would probably let one go outside instead of smashing them with my chancla.