Palm Springs Diaries: Sharing Secrets With Joan
I am going to think about this moment in time FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!
Like I said in the previous post, Joan Collins’ book, MY SECRETS was the official bible of this particular trip. It was a good alternative to the trash mags I brought for us to enjoy during our tanning sessions. Even though fresh celeb gossip is available to us 24-7 via the internet these days, nothing beats reading from a good gossip rag (The Enquirer, Star, US Weekly are lifetime faves) held in your very own hands. Related sidebar: I knew Rosie O’ Donnell was a lesbeyonce way before she came out of the closet because I saw a picture of her riding a motorcycle with her girlfriend holding tightly onto her back in The National Enquirer!!! Anyway, I digress…
My Secrets by Joan Collins (aka all-time best betch Alexis from Dynasty) came out in 1994 but can be very useful almost two decades later. The book is a collection of Joan’s personal pro tips on health, beauty, fashion, exercise and even yo’ attitude. It also features the most amazing photographs of Joan throughout her career.
A few of my fave tips so far…
+ “Three Bags. the best quality you can buy. All black, one Chanel style shoulder bag with the gold chain which is classic and definitely here to stay. One small clutch for evening, restaurants, theatre, etc. and one ‘tote’ type for office, travel and everyday. I hate cheap bags, and, like the women of Italy and France I would rather have one good one than lots of cheapos.”
+ “Don’t Look at a photograph of Kim Basinger in a pink Lycra dress and buy one, thinking that you’re going to look just like her.”
+ “Being ‘well dressed’ means different hings to different people. To a teenager it mean her special battered jeans, baseball cap and a T-shirt with a slogan scrawled all over it. To a glamorous young model or actress who is into grunge, it could mean trendy layered rags, a floral dress with Doc Martens or the dandy look.”
+ “Getting older should not carry a stigma. It should be a badge people wear with pride and dignity. With each year that passes, we should achieve more, and if we take proper care of ourselves, there is nothing to stop us looking and feeling our optimum best.”
+ “Tanning your skin is without any shadow of a doubt the worst thing you can do to it.” GULP
HAY JACKIE!!!! There’s her signature leopard print!!! 
Kirsten Dunst eat your Antoinette heart out
A day without a glorious wig is a day without sunshine
Oh Joan, I thank thee for sharing your tips on how to live my fabulous life. I think you’ve given me inspiration to write MY OWN BOOK OF SECRETS! IMAGINE. Would any of you read it?
23 comments
I would so read your book of secrets!!! I would climb over every betch in the neighbourhood to get at it!!
Helga recently posted..A Touch of G
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marie Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 10:01 am
OMG I hope you would catfight like this to get it!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcdhdzfbR_o
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Hell yes! I would read it and make everyone I know read it too.
I *love* your writing, it is hilarious. Do it!!
xx
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marie Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 10:13 am
Thank you for your encouragement! I REALLY WANNA DO IT
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Hell yeah I would read your book as long as it tells me how to channel my inner Chola!
Fajr | Stylish Thought recently posted..What I Wore- VINT-Condition
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marie Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 10:13 am
AHAHAHAHAHA WILL DO!
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thanks for allowing me to vacation vicariously in palm springs today. i’m going to try to imagine myself by a pool near the mountains and channel my inner joan collins while i’m trapped in a cubicle.
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marie Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 10:14 am
Girl I am doing the same thing sitting here at this office desk! I MISS VACAY
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love your blog… everything i learned about life i learned from joan collins. No lie. I am doing really well too
becky recently posted..I am a Phan of Phantogram
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marie Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 10:16 am
I wanna hear how!!!
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Helz yeah! I’m reading this post over lunch. Your book of secrets would be smuggled under the covers reading for sure!
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marie Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 10:16 am
yay poochie!
thank you!
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I would TOTALLY read your MY SECRETS book! Get on that.
Ellie Di recently posted..The Story of Cosmetics and their toxins
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If you wrote a book full of your sehkrehts, I’d read it. Shit, it’d be better then most crap available these days.
Karlito recently posted..Dry Blue
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“for once in my life i’m gonna be Joan Collins, and there’s nothin your gonna do to stop me!” – Bette Midler from Big Business
your posts are FAB! lately.
a book of YOUR secrets would FLY of dem shelves! i’ll bring a pair of polly’s for you to sign at your book signing
what would your chapters be? bangs, dresses, how to “bring it”…?
“give ‘em HELL ALEXIS!!” – also Big Business
tav. recently posted..travelin in style
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Guuuurl you NEED to write a book- that would be the grestest/funniest shit maybe ever. Pull out full size poster of John Stamos in the middle?
Em recently posted..Is she out there
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You and I need to hang out asap
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hellz yez i’d buy it and read it
Diana recently posted..Happy Mail
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JOANIE JOANIE JOANIE!
I’d be so all over that – both yours and hers.
Wait, that sounded real dirty…
Birdie recently posted..Thought of the Day
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This looks like the ideal vaca. You are a legend, genuinely jealous / have a crush on you right now.
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I would totally read your book!
amanda @ Hungry Vegan Traveler recently posted..HVT @ Home- A Cool Breakfast & A Mostly-Cool Dinner
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bahhahaha I LOVE THIS BOOK. a copy was floating around a vintage store i used to work at, i remember looking at it and cracking up. i seem to remember a detailed account of her hair routine that i found life-changing…
Molly B recently posted..FLICKR PARTY
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