My Shoe Pyramid

yayshoetriangle

Betsey Johnson Pollys, Jeffrey Campbell Legal Zipper Wedges, Miu Miu Teacup heels, Stripper Tip shoes and Ballet boots. You can forget about info for the bottom, muthas.

Let’s sit together closely and talk seriously about this religion called Shoes. When other ladies ask me how I can wear high heels most of the time, I let them know there are different categories of shoes in my life that allow me to do so.  I made this Shoe Pyramid to illustrate for you. Like a REVERSE Food Pyramid, focus on the ones closer to the top and NEVER touch the bottom layer.

First, let’s discuss The Holy Grail of Shoes, which are both sexy AND comfortable. That is the level of shoe perfection a woman must always strive to find. For me those are my beloved Pollys, which originated as a poolside platform stiletto shoe in the 1940′s.

The Holy Grail can then be followed by The Wedge Trick. Lenora helped me figure this out years ago. The right wedge heel can give you that height you desire without killing your tootsies. Nowadays the wedge is so popular you can wear it in various styles, morning, noon and night.

Then there are the ones I call Dinner Shoes, which are pretty shoes that you can actually walk in, but probably won’t last a night of standing up/dancing in them. These are good for dinner out or if you are hosting a get together at home (where you can change into your crip slips after everyone’s too drunk to care.)

Now let’s talk about the other level of shoe that many women think of in relation to high heels. That SEXY OUTTA THIS WORLD shoe that you covet but are so painful, you walk like a geisha in them! I call those Photoshoot/Fucking Shoes since they are only wearable during those two instances.

As you can see I put the Forbidden Items on the bottom aka you better go barefoot like Brit Brit in a gas station bathroom before you wear those nightmares. The stripper shoe is a bit misplaced because everyone knows those are actually comfortable! They really should be higher on the chart, especially since this one comes with a tip jar. What’s your Shoe Pyramid like, m’ladies?

8 comments

1 PixelHazard { 06.10.10 at 5:51 pm }

There is nothing I dont love about miu miu and yowza at the stripper tip heels and ballet boots

2 Lara { 06.11.10 at 6:20 pm }

This cracks me up! Since you’re talking heels -

I would say my top tier would be a pair of black open-toe 4″ platform stiletto Mary Janes that have never failed me. OR my pair of 3″ open toed black leather booties with no platform. They’re clean and simple.

The second tier is definitely my platform wedge sandals and fancier strappy heels.

The third… I wish these could be top tier but they kill me: a pair of 5″ round toed platform pumps that I simply can’t walk in. Definitely hanky panky shoes.

The bottom tier: I love Havaiana flip flops but the cheap foam ones are disgusting, low wedge flats, those trendy hidden wedge booties, uggs, birkenstocks, and oh how I hate the jazz shoe trend right now! blech!

3 Felicia { 06.11.10 at 9:30 pm }

i think you pretty fucked nailed the shoe pyramid. i think you’re next project should be the ten commandments of shoes, since every religion needs some sort of overbearing rules.

4 Chel { 06.12.10 at 6:18 am }

I wear crocs when no one’s looking. I’m a blasphemer and heretic, I know. =(

5 The Raisin Girl { 06.12.10 at 12:29 pm }

I swear I am shoe retarded. I have one pair of flattering kitten heels, and one pair of dowdy school-marmish black clogs. And then everything else is flip-flops, tennis shoes, or ballet flats.

I guess I just need more kitten heels.

6 Brooke { 06.16.10 at 9:32 am }

Any room for converse?

7 Enterrement vie de jeune fille Paris { 06.21.10 at 2:43 pm }

Le bas de la pyramide est interdit, pour le confort, je préfère les ballerine.
Lilou

8 Nisha { 05.09.11 at 8:54 am }

Lovin the shoe pyramid … good idea :o ) I love the shoes at the top of the pyramid!
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