Posts from — January 2009

I spent several days in San Francisco to celebrate New Year’s Eve with my cohort-in-rojo, Miss Star St. Germain. I had only decided to go a week or two before…but last minute adventures involving Star and I seem to be a recurring theme, so I should stop fronting.

First off, I love San Francisco. I am still toying with the idea of moving there. And although I always had concern with the dismal weather (WHATTA BABY), I should be more concerned with turning into a full-fledged alchy! I’m already enough of a lush as it is, but here in Southern California we have to drive our asses everywhere. When we RAGE, we have to crash or flip a coin to be designated driver. So basically what I’m saying is FU SF’ers with your no cars and public trans. And FU too NY’ers ’cause that shit is the same over there! I’m just jealous because I have a huge car payment and crazy insurance and you guys are having cocktails every night. Maybe I will just move there and become an alchy. I would AbFab all over the place and you know this! GAWD. I hate all of you. Someone get me a job there already, I will just buy some new coats.

RAGE COLLAGE:

So I arrived the morning of New Year’s Eve, which was later spent running around to various parties. First we stopped at the wonderful Violet Blue’s house, where we reported live from the blogger bungalow. Us with the lovely ladies, Violet Blue and KumiMonster.

Later we ran around with Chaki and caused more trouble. Somehow in the night’s blur, I lost my hat that Dizzy Von Damn! made for my birthday a couple years ago. But a good NYE it was. At some point, a night was spent attending a toga party where I discovered the hottest new trend for all of us fashionistas…ROMAN SHIN GUARDS.

Gold heels + gladiator fashion = Hot New Shit for Oh-Nine, boo. You better work. See, this diva is not even fucking around. She is like,” Gladiator sandals? Bitch please, that is nothing. I am going all out in Roman armor to bring that trend full circle.”

Should Star and I open up a bar called “Clocks N’ Booze?” Because it’s always time to get your fade on, SON.

We then made shirts at Bang On to put ourselves on blast and wore them during our photoshoot with Kristin of Design That Kills…whom I LOVE. I’m so glad I finally got to meet her! She is a stylish gal with incredible taste and also an amazing photographer. I can’t wait to hang out with her again. Here is a cute valentine that Star made and a collage she did of some of the shots!

And the video she edited!

Design That Kills Photoshoot with Agent Lover from Star St.Germain on Vimeo.

Excuse the fifty-thousand mentions of the word “awesome” by yours truly. I was just so excited, people.
Look how good Kristin made me look!

Oh SF how I love you so hard. I miss Star so much! ‘Til we meet again my scarlet sister!

PS. Only a down ass chick will harmonize a ‘lil Tina T. on the fly witchu…

Untitled from Agent Lover on Vimeo.

This news is a couple weeks old but we gonna chat about it anyway since you know I love me some crazy Betsey Johnson. Supposedly Miss J is going to do a collab with a retailer sometime in the fall. My guess is the obvious Target and not H&M. I’m always stoked on Betsey, but I do hope she brings it to the table for this one. The last couple of designer collections at Target have been… bleh. GIMME SOME FLAVOR MOMMA. However, I’ve been having mad luck at her outlet sales in the past couple of months and found two dresses for New Year’s for only 60 BONES = BUY ONE GET ONE FREE. Woo! Yes, I know, this betch should not be shopping and had to forgo a pedicure because of it, but this shit was too cute to pass up:

Peep that lil green and white stripe action. And my drunk on fire swirly face. @_@

HAPPY NEW YEAR you guys! 2009 are we feeling fine? I figured a ‘lil year-in-review post was in order, especially since I did one a year ago to relaunch agentlover.com! WOO HAPPY ONE YEAR BIRFDAY TO THE LIL BLAWG! And again, my love of montages will help give you a brief visual of what adventures I went on in 2008.

+ Of course I had to take a few trips to shake some of that gypsy flu off of me. Unfortunately I didn’t get to go outside of the country in ’08, but I did satisfy a bit of that traveling bug by a lot of weekend trips. I made it up to San Francisco three times, New York City on that infamous 40 hour whim, and a whole lot of trips in Southern and Central California (San Diego , Palm Springs, and San Luis Opisbo.)

+ One thing that was a bit disappointing was I didn’t go to many good shows this year…I think Beirut might have been the only one that I really enjoyed! Am I becoming an old grampa? Wait, isn’t Boyz II Men playing this month?!? My brother saw Bell Biv Devoe recently and I wanted him to bring a picture of just ME for BBD to sign with “That girl is poison,” but he didn’t make the meet and greet. Oh well, maybe next time.

+ I was the privileged pervert who was able to buy my friend Jason Savvy’s 69th taco. He tallied up his tacos for the year which was an impressive count…304?! OH MY GAWD. Perhaps I will taco tally this year myself. I am currently at one.

+ The year was the year of the RAGE. Too many wacky adventures with the gang to even count. Cheers to more of those in 2009…starting tomorrow? I hate you people. I’m still recovering from New Year’s. This is why I constantly fall asleep wearing my glasses! I am a grampa. MAW.

+ Let’s not forget when some crazy ass bitch accused me of stealing her mutha fuckin’ dime-a-dozen black velvet Ebay gloves. I won’t go into too much detail about it on here, but basically DO NOT FUCK WITH ME YOU STANK BITCH. The only things your girl here steals are hearts, OK. Seriously though. Don’t EVEN step to the Filipina Lil Kim. ( That flyer was only up for one day because I’m nice and felt bad, but now I replaced her phone number with acorns because dat bitch is nuts.)

+ Rolled deep to chola prom, stole your crown and I stole your mang Chuy.

+ Launched Polaroid Apocalypse and held a mass ‘Roid shoot in San Francisco with Star. It is still a project very dear to me but I didn’t get to focus on it as much as I wanted to last year, so let’s hope this final year of ‘Roid Vision will be in FULL EFFECT.

+ Went to New York on a whim to meet up with the Ladybloggers. Star and I are always going on crazy adventures! I’ll be writing about our New Year’s together soon. In the meantime, you can peep some of our time together on her blog. BTW, I forgot to tag her for those sixteen facts!

+ Spent a lot of time at my favorite place in the world…THE MADONNA INN! I have to write about my last trip there…in October.. which is like a thousand months ago in blog years. But I promise it will be worth it. If I ever learn how to edit these video clips! I need a new computer UGH. Anyway, it’s just a whole lot of girls in costume and boobs and dancing and laughing and boobs. OH MADONNA! Star will also have a great post about it and a video that I’m on too!

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Alas, another year gone of LOLs, GAHs, VOMs, WHY I OUGHTAs, etc. and etc. Thank you so much for reading about mi vida loca. You people are wonderful. I will never steal any of your Ebay gloves, FYI. You can count on that.

PS. 3 of my Favorites for you..

“Lollipop Lips” – Connie Francis

“Do Something” – Helen Kane

“Magic Stick” - Lil’ Kim

XO,
Marie

Photo by Robyn Von Swank.

I have never done one of these tagged posts before but I am taking a cue from the lovely Gina Marr and presenting you with sixteen fun facts about yours truly.

+ I have severe Wanderlust and always want to escape to far-off places. I always say it’s due to a case of the gypsy flu. I’ve been to Beijing, London, Amsterdam, the Bahamas, New York and love running off to San Francisco and Vegas any chance I get. I really want to go to Paris, Italy, Tokyo and GREECE (so I can be all disco dewy like in Mamma Mia!)

+ I was extremely shy and one of those smart kids growing up but also kind of an asshole because I wouldn’t give the class nerds Valentine’s Day cards! For some reason I keep thinking about that lately and feel very guilty. I’m so sorry, nerds.

+ I was also really boy crazy back then too. I had a crush on Fred Savage and once wrote him a four page fan letter in yellow highliter. I was also enamored with Bastian and Atreyu and fantasized I was an indian princess in The Neverending Story named “Chrysanthemum.” ( I know you are so jealous.)

+ I totally spelled Chrysanthemum correctly right then because I am a spelling nazi. This is because of my favorite toy, the Speak & Spell. Sadly, I feel as though my internet usage these past five years has made me really dumb and lazy.

+ When I drink too much whiskey, I sometimes recite Catholic mass, including the priest’s part. GAH! I also like to rap old TLC.

+ I wanted to be a writer for Jane magazine and once applied as an intern (which I did not get.) I miss that magazine. RIP Jane magazine.

+ I’m Filipino and Italian. Growing up was tough because I didn’t know anyone else like me. YOU FEEL ALL ALONE AS A HALFBREED. OH CHER. I still absolutely hate it when you can only choose one box for your ethnicity.

+ I’ve tested out almost every type of clothing style and hairdo. Raver, semi-goth, MY PENNY HARDAWAY FROM ORLANDO MAGIC JERSEY WTF?!, grampa plaid pants and little boy’s thrift store tees, etc. Ironically my current style is the same as when I was five. ELLO KNEE SOCKS, DRESSES AND BANGS.

+ The people I choose to spend most of my time with are fuck.ing. amaz.ing. I’m in love love love love love with my friends. I hope I can find someone as sweet and hilarious and sexy as them that I can also bone. WHAT.

+ I love singing old jazz and plan to retire at 65 as a leathery tan and blonde lounge singer at the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino in beautiful Las Vegas crooning old Doris Day and Peggy Lee. I will see you there and be wearing a gold camel toe. OMG I will host The Gold Camel Toe Awards ceremony. (WTF? Sounds catchy though, no?)

+ The reason I am the way I am is because of Oona Goosepimple and Mae West. If you understand what this means about me without a GOOG I will french you.

+ I’m really into the supernatural and aliens and the occult. I like WEIRD SHIT. I grew up on alien books and Coast to Coast AM.

+ My favorite place in the world is the Madonna Inn. When we first went into the Love Nest room I told my friends, “This is what I feel my insides look like.” My second favorite place in the world is the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. Sigh.

+ Bjork. That’s all you need to know. It’s too personal to talk about here.

+ My favorite book is Story of the Eye. My favorite poem is “She Walks in Beauty” by Lord Byron. I am obsessed with Hans Christian Andersen’s The Red Shoes. I am STILL in the middle of the third Twilight book. Since…August. Everyone hates me.

+ I’m a huge romantic in every single way. I am always dreaming. It gets me into a lot of trouble but I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is most likely why I’m bad at math.

HI GUYS! Did you ever see my Xmas hat? Sorry it’s late and I should be posting about New Years but F U. Here we go!

My Xmas Hat from Agent Lover on Vimeo.