This past Friday the 13th, I went to the Houdini Mansion in Hollywood to celebrate my favorite redhead Lenora Claire’s birthday! Like all of her events, the Scarlet Woman of the Apocalipstick’s soirée was anything but ordinary, as there were monkeys, butts, a moon bounce, fire eaters and Larry Birkhead. The supposedly haunted [yay!] property was beautiful, but easy to get lost in when you are fueled by vodka and without a flashlight. I wish I had my giant MAGNUM with me. Surprisingly, I did not trip and roll down the stairs like a big wheel of cheddar cheese. Those Target heels are like secret agent party girl weapons! If I can survive walking around Houdini Mansion in those, every girl should have a pair.

Shaun and Reyna with Lenora the Birthday girl…

shaun lenora reyna

Since I am being mindful of my spending habits lately, I knew I wasn’t able to get a dress made or spend much on a fabulous new outfit. I decided instead to revamp something I already had.

I took a great black and white striped cotton dress I bought a year ago from TJ Maxx, shortened it to a whorish hem, added a red crinoline skirt I bought at the garment district underneath, a corset-looking belt I got in downtown Ventucky, and had my bangin’ outfit! My only problem was it was a little pirate wrench-y and unlike every other freakin’ person in the world, pirates just ain’t my thang. [Unless it has to do with that Peter Pan movie Hook with Rufio.] I figured if I chose the right accessories I could possibly subdue that pirate look a little.

Nora, me, and Reyna…

nora me reyna

Taking some feathers, a regular black headband, more feathers, a flower hair barrette with a fake bird in it and a glue gun, I managed to construct an easy-to-do French whore headdress ! That my friend, is my first example of “Crafts for the Lazy Crafter”, which will be my new column on this blog. That shit seriously took me five minutes. You can see it pretty well in this picture with my sexy friend Jason Savvy.

Mr Savvy and I

Amazingly, I came out of the party with nary a scratch on my headdress. I must be reaching some new levels of my super powers, people.

All in all it was a good evening and I was happy with my quickly put together party outfit, and people were nice enough to let me know they liked it too. Is it time for me to pitch a ‘stylist on a budget’ television show called…It Costs Cheap to Look….This Cheap ?

I was born with the name like a French Whore