There were a couple of things I would constantly sneak off to look at in the back room patio when I was a kid. The first was a chocolate lollipop titty my mom kept in the mini-fridge for seven years. It was sloppily half-wrapped in foil due to my frequent showings to friends during family parties. We would giggle at the chocolate tit until one year there was a mysterious bite in it.

The second thing I would always look at was a hardcover book of Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales, particularly the story of The Red Shoes. If you are not familiar with the story, it is about a poor little girl who wore a pair of fancy red shoes to church, which was scandalous to do so. During mass all she did was think about her sexy red shoes. Gawd then got pissed off and made those red shoes become all voodoo Riverdance. The shoes wouldn’t come off and she breakdanced all over the village until she couldn’t take it anymore and begged an executioner to chop off her feet with a big axe.

This story is so twisted, I do not even know why my eight-year old ass would read it all the time. Did you guys know I was REALLY shy during that age? Anyway, it obviously gave me a red shoe obsession because I have acquired about ten pairs over the years.

Red is one of my favorite colors and I wear it on my lips and clothes, collect red handbags, sleep underneath a red comforter and write on a red desk, but red shoes specifically remind me of being a kid and reading that book all the time.

Does anybody else have some crazy nostalgic-fueled obsession with a clothing item? Please don’t tell me I’m the only one!