A while back, I started scanning some some entries from my childhood diaries. I recently found even more embarrassing diary entries from my life as a shy child cursed with intense “Bitchface.” I’m going to attempt to analyze them in order to make my therapist’s job a teeny bit easier. Onto the first gem…

I want JUSTICE!!

Tonya was my red-headed babysitter when I was nine years old. The only other memory I have of Tonya was when she changed her maxi pad in front of me and I saw her big fiery bush. This entry also frightens me because of my horrible spelling of the word “excuse.” I actually was a good speller back then, but I lost the spelling bee since I was too cool to study [lazy].
However, I still stand by my theory that the Speak & Spell made me become the spelling nazi that I am today. Does anyone else have Speak & Spell pride? We should get tattoos.