I went to Santa Barbara a couple of weeks ago and this is the outfit I wore, which made me realize that I haven’t done any black outfit posts on here in a long time! IRL though…I am always going back to my GOTHIC ROOTZ. I love wearing head to toe black, ESPECIALLY putana lace as you know. I’m sure I’ll also eventually start wearing a mantilla like Diane Pernet. The year before I started AL, my uniform was a simple black dress ALWAYS with some cleavage and often a touch of color, like a red belt or bright tights. I still like that look a lot but when it comes to documentation, it seems I got into the habit of only taking pics of my more colorful Kinderwhore outfits. Will you allow me to goth it out on here more often?!?
All of this beautiful black lace I am shrouded in are pieces from some rando chola stores + Urban Outfitter wedges + an old H&M purse.
It’s only been about two weeks or so since this picture was taken, but now my hair seems to have resisted participation in milkmaid braids. I gotta face the facts, friends. It’s just too goddamn long. I feel like my hair is a separate entity now and trying to get rid of me! It even caught a flame and started to singe when I was trying to cook some vegetables once! (Gotta keep an emergency scrunchie in the kitchen for this reason alone, ladies. OMG in my mind just now I imagined my hair turning into a noose like on the poster for April Fool’s Day! Scary! ANYWAY, THE RACE IS FINISHED. For those of you WTF’ing, I had decided to let my hair grow and grow and grow, similar to how some menz do with their beards. I wanted to get my hair to the same length as my mom’s was in the 70′s and I have indeed reached that goal. Now it is time to cut off a couple of inches and maybe thin it out or add layers so it doesn’t feel so heavy. As long as I can cover my bare breasts with it so we can have a picture of me like Daryl Hannah on Splash, then that’s all that really matters to all of us anyway…
February 9, 2012 11 Comments
One of my life’s regrets is never having BIG. BEAUTIFUL. VOLUMINOUS! WILD!!! 90′s HAIR. I was always stuck with flat, super straight AZN hair and got ~ JEALOUS EYES ~ whenever I saw ol’ Jules whipping around those ginger curls in Pretty Woman or Cindy Crawford drinking Pepsi with a luxurious, full, mane. Nowadays all those ladies get Brazilian blowouts or some shits so we can agree that the tables have turned, especially since my hair is not as straight anymore (though it obviously hasn’t reached Cree Summer status or anything.) One of these days I’ll put on my labcoat and Google exactly why our hair can change texture as we age.
I MISS DEEZ LADIES AND THEIR MAGNIFICENT, UNRULY ‘DOs
Yes, I know Madonna was clearly wearing a fall at the 1995 VMA’s, but it is also one of my favorite looks of hers. I had a lot more to chat about regarding this night but I started going totally off track (like yooj) so I copy and pasted it into another draft titled I Miss Slutty Madonna Part 2. So keep your eyeballs peeled for dat one. YOU ARE WELCOME.
DAMN BITCH!! Felicity is probs the REAL QUEEN of the Wild Curl Girls of the Nineties. That’s exactly why the world revolted when she cut it into a Brillo pad. Poor ting.
JULES…we meet again…
This is one of my favorite Julia Roberts pictures, next to this one because #1 who the fuck suit you borrowing, Julia? Is it Richard’s? Keif’s? Lyle Lovett’s???
Anna Nicole had great LOCKS as well.
You know I had to end it with Noxzema!!!!!
February 8, 2012 17 Comments
Moxie Jane always finds the best stuff to please my vintage-loving eyes! A few of her goodies are even on sale for Valentine’s Day! Make sure to check those out in her shop and enter the cute giveaway on her blog!
Brooke has SO MUCH cute new jewelry out in the Gabriel Hounds shop! Spoil your sweetie, BFF or YOURSELF for Valentine’s Day with a sexy serpent necklace or goldbug earrings! I also want the braided black leather bracelet!
Along with Maria Danalakis’ super sweet pinup art prints, you can now get custom work done by her! OMG!! Get your very own own custom pin up portrait or a header for your blog, like the one she made for my boo Vanessa’s site, Verbal Switchblade!
As always, Pygmy Hippo Shoppe has the coolest and cutest items in stock, including new hosiery from LA-based designer Love, Beatrice! LOOK AT ALL DEM HEARTS! I also LOVE the Enamored Pencil Kit and have some of the yummy glitter heart soap at home!
It seems like Cutie Dynamite never runs out of amazing new items for us girls who love a lil’, I mean, a LOT of sparkle when it comes to accessories! I need to get me that strawberry one ASAP!
My lovely friend Loulou has a new lingerie collection out called Lydia that she started making while watching 101 Dalmatians, naturally. All of her beautiful pieces are handmade by Loulou herself in London.
Looking for something TANTALIZING to wear for your LUVAH?? Dolly Dahl has gorgeous retro dresses that would be great for Valentine’s, or any day of the year!
Aside from her vintage clothing shop, Mary Van Note also has her very own merchandise! Get a cute tote bag or t-shirt featuring Mary’s funny drawings! I also recommend her ‘zines, particularly Mary Van Note’s Guide To Dating Mary Van Note. I have had it for a few years now and for some reason it is always in hand’s reach. (Clearly I need to have Mary’s dating tips near me AT ALL TIMES!) It still makes me laugh every time I read it!
Shop! Alameda Vintage
Blog: The Alameda Vintage Blog
Alameda Vintage is definitely one of the best shops I have ever seen! Sabrina London has a SUPERB eye for finding the most gorgeous vintage items. AV is also where I found one of my current favorites, the dress I wore on my first visit to the American Horror Story house.
For those of you getting ready to get hitched, Sui Numeris Bride offers stylish and elegant bridalwear for every kind of budget. They also have one-of-a-kind vintage pieces as well as lovely LBDs for any occasion!
Shop!: Get her E-books here!
Blog: Yes and Yes
Sarah Von has been to 28 countries and even lived in a few of them, no doubt making her an expert on travel! Luckily for those of us who have also been bit by the wanderlust bug, she offers sage advice in the form of E-books! Check them out here!
February 7, 2012 2 Comments
HELLO…sorry I have been SO quiet this week but my internet has been acting like an asshole lately so I’m behind on everything. BALLS. Anyway, I took a quick trip with Leyla to San Diego last weekend to get some work done on my car and see my new baby neph, Grant! While we were walking around Little Italy, I made Leyla snap a photo of my outfit even though you’ve seen this dress a couple of times before. Have you noticed that I put that bow on everything? It just makes everything better. One day I will do a post in celebration of that BOW.
Outfit deets: vintage dress from Solvang, CA. knee socks c/o We love Colors. The flats are nothing special. You know I’d rather be in some heels but I was trying to pack light for once in my life!
And look at my cute blondie nephew Mason! Remember when he was just a little niblet?? Now he is growing up and STYLIN’. Outfit is all from Baby Gap.
AND NOW THE MOMENT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR….using trusty random.org I have chosen the winners for last weeks Rhonda Shear and Just Say Julie giveaways! The chosen ones are…. for the Rhonda Shear contest: #17, miss corazones rojos and for the Julie Brown contest: #13, Monique Catalina. CONGRATULATIONS M’LADIES! Please email me at marie[at]agentlover.com with your mailing address. Thank you to everyone who entered and as always, stay tuned for more giveaways!
January 20, 2012 2 Comments
I knew Rhonda Shear very well from her days as the host of USA Up All Night, a weekly series from the late 80′s and 90′s that showed tons of B-movie classics. I probably don’t even have to mention that it was/is definitely one of the biggest sources of inspiration for me and this here blog! Rhonda was kind of like Elvira: sexy, funny, had great cleavage, and introduced many cult faves such as Surf Nazis Must Die and 976-EVIL. Nowadays, Rhonda makes AMAZING BRAS! When her company contacted me to see if I wanted to try out anything from her line, I quickly said yes since I was a huge fan of Up All Night and someone with that kind of magnificent cleav is definitely someone I can trust with Thelma and Louise (o)(o).
from left: Breathless Twist and VaVaVoom Pushup
And great news my boos…we are also doing a giveaway! You can win both of these bras so we can be BRA TWINZ! Just leave a comment below and I will select a winner randomly next Friday (along with the winner of the Julie Say Julie giveaway.) To make it even MORE fun, in your comment also let me know if you have a nickname for your own blessed pillows. Do you call them Mary Kate and Ashley? Chang and Eng? Turner and Hooch? Make sure you also “Like” Rhonda’s Facebook page and follow her on Twitter!
Here’s a video of Rhonda doing her thing on Up All Night!
I heard they are bringing Up All Night back on the air? Could this finally be MY CHANCE of my dream job??? Imagine…
January 13, 2012 57 Comments
Like many of us, I grew up loving shows about the wealthy and their ESCANDALO ways. Dynasty was obviously a favorite even though it was for adults, and there was the more kids-oriented Beverly Hills Teens. By 1992, I was in junior high and deep into the Brenda/Dylan/Kelly love triangle on Beverly Hills, 90210. Yet, I craved even MORE scandal. MORE DRAMA! Luckily Swans Crossing, a soap opera directed at tweenz like me, came along.
Way before Sarah Michelle Gellar became Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she played teen ultrabitch Sydney Rutledge in Swans Crossing. No wonder she was so good at portraying the EVIL Kathryn in Cruel Intentions later on! Sydney had a Romeo and Juliet-type affair with the hunk in pleated pants next door, Garrett Booth, until they broke up and it turned into a sort of hatecrush obsession.
Garrett was played by Shane McDermott, who all of you rollerblading aficionados might remember from the cinematic artwork, Airborne. There were other famous faces who got their start in Swans Crossing, including none other than Romy herself, Mira Sorvino. And Brittany Daniel, one of the Sweet Valley High twins (who I also remember from The Basketball Diaries with Leo Dicap) was new girl Mila, the whora that came between Garrett and Sydney. I was so jealouz of that b Mila. Her bedroom had a bunch of TVs on the wall that showed Kriss Kross videos, a headboard with a BEAUTIFUL painted swan, some crazy giant pink rhinoceros desk thing that held her BOOMBOX, and even her own pet cockatoo. BLEH HATECHU MILA
I kept thinking the guy on the bottom was blind, but I guess he just wore those cool guy sunglasses all the time for fun.
Clearly there were some amazing fashions displayed in the episodes of Swans Crossing. It was the early nineties after all. To be honest, I believe a part of my love for nautical style was influenced by Sydney. There was an episode where she wore a captain’s hat and I remember wanting it SO BAD then got all pissed off when my friend found out I wanted it and waltzed in wearing her stupid captain’s hat she got from Sea World. WHATEVER. I keep going through YouTube looking for a screencap of the hat (probably why it’s taking me so long to finish this post…) but no luck. I did come across one of the best Swans Crossing playlists I’ve seen online so far. They also have the slumber party episodes, which were my fave.
I would also try to emulate my hair pretty often to look like Sydney’s. People forget how great 90′s hair was, but I NEVA do…
I wonder what kind of ESCANDALO went on behind the scenes…
Thank you Life.com for having this photo in your archives…
Watch this commercial so you can see how ridiculous/awesome this show was!
ps. Thank you to STEVEN who came up with the name of my new NOSTALGIA column: “Ooh That Was My Jam.” IT IS PERF!
January 13, 2012 8 Comments
That’s right ladies…I am back with everyone’s favorite column… Dear Menz! Throw your bras in the air in celebration! This time I went a lil’ bit WILD and started a “Sexy Pizza Edition,” which means along with the usual topics of sex and romance, we’ll be talking about our favorite vegetable… PIZZA! I thought it might be a fun idea since pizza IS an aphrodisiac….right? Anyway, let’s get down to business. Today’s special guest hunk is Zak Waters, a singer- songwriter from LA whose soulful dance music is so goddamn sexy, you will probably get pregnant just from reading this interview. He also thinks Frankenflops are a “crime against humanity.” Naturally I wanted to harass this cool menz…
What’s the sexiest thing a girl does to turn you on?
When I sing the three sweet words “Ain’t nothing wrong…” and she chimes in “with a little bump and grind…”
Where have you had the best sex of your life?
My bed. Sounds boring, but the whole “sex in weird places” just isn’t my thing…it’s too distracting. It’s exciting for about two minutes and then I start to get irritated. Nothing like the soft and spacious feel of a good ol’ fashioned bed.
Where have you have the best pizza of your life?
DiCarlo Pizzeria on Hollywood and Hillhurst. I used to work there. They fired me. But the pizza was really good.
Give me three songs on your Ultimate Makeout Mix.
If you could make your DREAM PIZZA, what would be on it?
Cheese and sauce…I’m a pretty simple guy.
Boobs or booty?
Boooty Boooty Boooty all day…every day.
Betty or Veronica?
Are we talkin’ Real Housewives of Orange County? I’d have to go with Veronica.
Can an item of clothing a girl wears REALLY turn a guy off? I know the answer is NO so don’t even try to play…
Ok I can def play this one. My friends always tease me about how picky I am about these kind of things when I’ve gone on dates. It really bugs me when girls wear high heels that are too big for them. It just gives me the impression that they borrowed them from their mom or something. One time a girl wore a grey fur vest with a cut-up Mötley Crüe t-shirt underneath and of course some flesh-colored pumps that were def a size too big. Now did it turn me off completely? No, not quite. It was the Gigapet adorning her keychain that did me in….
What kind of pizza turns you OFF?
I’d have to say garlic. I mean, I love it just like anyone else, but there’s nothing sexy about garlic breath…
January 11, 2012 7 Comments
HELLO I AM BACK FROM MY HOLIDAY HIATUS. Miss me? I know I did. And I have even more great news…it’s time to celebrate the FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF AGENT LOVER!!!!Can you believe it? But PLEASE keep your clothes on for now. We will get more into that later! Right now, we will honor my #1 Valley Girl style icon…..JULIE BROWN!!!!!! And no, tis’ NOT Downtown Julie Brown (who OBV I love too) I’m talking about the “hottest little henna head on MTV!” You probs remember Julie from my 2009 Earth Girls Are Easy post, but some of you might have known about her amazing MTV show, Just Say Julie! , which ran from 1989-1992.
When my soul is not transporting itself through time and space, hovering between the candy-colored rooms of the Madonna Inn, the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland and John Stamos’ shower… it time travels to the set of Just Say Julie. The show had Miss Brown hanging out in this amazing Pee Wee’s Playhouse-type space, introducing music videos, talkin’ shit about the popular singers of the time, sassin’ up her guests and basically just acting like a cute ball of craylariousness. One of the biggest reasons why I wish I could astral project/time travel to this time is not only because I want to hang with Julie but there were even MORE brilliant minds involved. The set was designed by Allee Willis who is probably my aunt in another dimension. She has a museum of kitsch (!!!) and collects lipstick-shaped things! I want to talk a lot more about Allee Willis, but I think she deserves her own post! Then there was the costume design. As you can see, Julie’s outfits were brilliant! I wish I could see these dresses and accessories in person! The designer was none other than Mona May, who I had the pleasure of meeting a few years ago. Mona was the costume designer for Clueless aka the reason for most of our EVERYTHING. Obviously, this is some triple-threat greatness right here!
So please take a great gander at the set design and costumes in the screencaps below. And take your time boo, we don’t gots to rush….
THIS SHOW IS BASICALLY MY LIFE’S DREAM!!! Who knows someone at MTV? Can I be the new Just Say Julie? “JUST SAY RIE RIE?? Make my dreams come true and allow this cleavage of mine to blast through your homes and into your bedrooms. GULP
SPEAKING OF DREAMS…OBVIOUSLY I HAD TO SNEAK IN A PICTURE OF MY BELOVED GOLDBLUM!!!!! There he is with his ex, my other favorite redheaded slash talented Olympic archer, Geena Davis. THEY ARE SO TALL! Like two sexy trees!
And here she is with Angelyne who I’m still not sure why I don’t carpool with. I’d definitely save a lot of gas if she’d give me a ride. I wonder what’s in her famous pink Corvette. Is it OCD spotless with strawberry air fresheners hanging inside? Or do she gots Taco Bell wrappers all over the floor (like Queen Latifah TRUE STORY…)? Does she have a dual CD player/tape deck like yours truly? Does she sing along to tunes while she drives? These are the things I think about when I see Angelyne driving around.
Julie and I are SO alike btw. Not only do we have magnificent cleavage, but we are also both OBSESSED with certain DREAMHUNKS! Julie always talks about Jon Bon Jovi on the show and of course my
obsession wee crush on the man some people refer to as Uncle Jesse…but I refer to as SIR STAYMOIST.
YOU GUYS! She even has PRINCE CEREAL…
Let me instagram this…
LOVIN YOU JULIE
I had an idea to make a pincushion hat…THEN I SAW THIS.
You can always catch her fawning over hunks of life like I do. Should we just start a Ladyboner Magazine already? Like a Bop Mag for us grown ladies??? ADD IT TO MY LIST
And Julie also appears to be into one of my favorite sight gags….smokin’ shoes! THIS ALWAYS KILLS ME DED! I am a simple man I tell you.
AND NOW…..A SPECIAL PRIZE! Because I love to spoil you ROTTEN, and to kick off the many more things I’ll be giving away in the next couple of weeks as we celebrate our 4 years together, I’m giving away a Best of Just Say Julie DVD! Just leave a comment and I’ll draw at random next week! Good luck!
January 9, 2012 42 Comments
This past Saturday we celebrated Pygmy Hippo’s One Year Anniversary! I worked at the shop all day long with Emi and by the end of the day I kept saying I wish I had some Tazmanian Devil chanclas because my dogs were barkin’ BAD. Do you remember dem Taz slippers BTW? I used to be really into him…but not as much as DIZZY DEVIL. I think in an alternate dimension I may have a Dizzy Devil tramp stamp.
ANYWAY..this is what I wore! I wanted to match the store’s colors, because I am that guy.
I’m very much in love with this citrine necklace I purchased from Still With You! I don’t want to take it off! The lipstick is Besame’s “Red Hot” in case you are wondering. And I did milkmaid braids again, surprisingly pretty easily… considering my hair is getting down to my booty! WACHOW
♥ Vintage dress from Fairfax Swapmeet, citrine necklace from Still With You, vintage slip by Doublespeak (embroidered with “C’mere Loverdoll”,) shoes from Urbanog, socks c/o We Love Colors, belt from da mall ♥
AND THIS IS MY GORGEOUS BEAUTASHIA BEST FRIEND AND OWNER OF PYGMY HIPPO SHOPPE…THEE ILLUSTRIOUS AND VIVACIOUS EMINÉ! Look at her magnificent dress from Unique Vintage!
There is an online giveaway still going on at the Pygmy Hippo blog! Make sure you sign up for the mailing list and comment on this post and you will be entered to win a gift basket filled with Pygmy Hippo goodies! OOH LA LA!!!
Nate, the other half of Pygmy Hippo, hand-painted this new sign!!!!
Remember when I decorated this tree in Babyfaces a few years ago?
Supercute Tatty Devine necklaces that may make you hungry since that potato chip is way too realistic!
We had tons of cute and tasty treats! I think my sugar quota for the month has now been reached.
Our friend Yumi made these cute hippo cake pops!
Nate molded these awesome hippo heads! You can win one of these in the gift basket too.
Thanks to everyone who came out and celebrated with us on Saturday!
December 20, 2011 14 Comments
One of my Small Business Sponsors is Sui Numeris Bride, an Austin-based bridal gown and dress company run by a lovely woman named Dee! They have everything from beautiful and affordable bridalwear starting at less than $140 dollars to exquisite designer pieces, as well as little black dresses for every occasion to handpicked, one-of-a-kind, vintage dresses! Every piece is exclusive…they don’t sell more than one of the same dress so you don’t have to worry about running into another girl wearing the same one as you, like Brenda and Kelly’s fashion faux pas during prom!
If you’re looking for a beautiful party dress or something lovely to get hitched in, take a look at Sui Numeris! Dee is offering 15% off to all Agent Lover readers! Just use the code: cybersui.
Sui Numeris is also doing a giveaway for you!
The uber fab Marilyn Monroe is an American style icon and was often photographed in beautiful dresses, particularly her billowing classic white halter dress! Name a modern day style icon and choose a dress that best fits her style from sui numeris bride for a chance to win an OPI ‘Burlesque Edition’ mini nail polish set (includes 8 polishes) just in time for holiday season!
To enter the giveaway:
1) choose any dress from www.suinumerisbride.com and post your answer in the comments.
For double entry:
Tweet your friends about Sui Numeris Bride!
Don’t forget to like Sui Numeris on Facebook too!
~~EDIT~~ CAT D YOU ARE THE WINNER!!!! Email me at marie [at] agentlover.com to claim your prize from Sui Numeris Bride!
December 19, 2011 8 Comments