Last year I was on the search for the perfect vintage style swimsuit and have decided to go on the hunt for you again. Summer will be here in no time (can you believe it’s already mid-April? Kinda makes me SICK). So Ladies, we gotsta be prepared for going to the tropics and sipping pina coladas!! (OPEN IN NEW TAB FOR SOUNDTRACK TO THIS POST) You know that’s what Rie Rie will be doing this weekend in beautiful Palm Springs. Hopefully I will have better luck than last year when I was trying to tan underneath a rain cloud. MUTHA NATURE YOU WHORE.
Since I love Jayne, she’ll be our vintage bathing beauty icon for 2009.
Get into the sexy mind frame of our sweet Jayne and find the right retro suit for you!
+ NICE & NAUGHTY-CAL You can never go wrong with a sailor-style…anything in my opinion! It’s a classic that will never be out of fashion, and in the form of a bathing suit shows proof of this. Available at Unique Vintage. This pretty in pink bathing suit is the best choice for girly girls. Wear this with flower clips and some cha-cha heels! From Pin-Up Girl Clothing.
+ SIMPLE & SEXY Do you want a basic black suit that will make the boy and girls drop their jaws (and maybe their drawers) when you strut by the pool? This Classic Black Marilyn suit from Lolita Girl is perfect for that in my opinion. And is that a butterfly in Bernie’s hair? If so, I LOVE IT.
+ THE GOLD SUIT. This was my choice this year because the love for gold is strong for 2009 in the Haus of Agent Lover. On the left is actually a two-piece that gives the illusion of a full suit from Baby Girl Boutique. On the right is the one that I got, an Esther Williams piece available from My Baby Jo.
+ BIKINI BOMBSHELL If a bikini is what you’re after, but still want that 1950′s silver screen look, you have plenty to choose from! Personally I think a red bikini is the way to go. Red lipstick, red wedges…Va-va-va-VOOM. Get the Beach Blanket Bingo Two Piece from Mod Cloth and Classic Sheath Two Piece in red from My Baby Jo!
+ THE WINNER! This red and leopard piece is my #1 pick! I love the red ruffles peeking out at the top and the 1940′s design! From Lolita Girl Clothing.
Don’t forget to accessorize with cat-eye sunglasses, cute wedges, cha-cha heels, flower barrettes, sunscreen and a cocktail or five…. And I was kidding about that Sean Kingston song for the soundtrack to this post. SIGH. But here’s the right song to get you in the mood, an old favorite:
You might also want to peep:
April 16, 2009 36 Comments
Every year, the inevitable comes around: COACHELLA. The lineup is usually very tempting: a good variety of the new bands that you’re really into lately, along with your all-time faves headlining. There might even be a band that hasn’t toured in years! Your jaw drops, you get giddy..until you remember the 90 degree weather, the stank-ass crowd, and the annoying drama that generally goes along with outdoor music festivals. Something or someone either convinces you this could be a good idea or you may just have your exceptions (mine is always Bjork, this year it’s Morrissey.) I put together a little guide for those like me, who thought they left their days of getting dirty in the desert behind at Nocturnal Wonderland 2000. (omg.)
+ If you have pale, sun-sensitive, gawthic friends like I do (see above), chances are they will disintegrate into a fine dust when coming in contact with the merciless sun, or more likely, will just complain about it. Sadly they won’t *dazzle* underneath the UV Ray Jay’s, but their skin will turn Red Lobster and they’ll bug you for Aloe Vera rubdowns the rest of the weekend (These magic hands don’t mind ladies.) So stroll in fashionably late after 5pm or so. The only reason you’re facing all this drama is to see the headliners, right?
+ This is obvious. Nobody wants to die at Coachella. Especially not from some unglamorous dehydration! And If Auntie Flow-rida is in town, chances are you will pass out in the middle of the Mos Def mosh pit like I almost did back in 2002. Drink that agua girl. To cut back on waste at this year’s event, the Coachella suits have come up with a new water program which will allow people to bring their own reusable plastic water bottles and fill up at free drinking fountains!
+ ‘Cause at that point you don’t care about looking cute. Everyone’s too drunk including you, the sun’s not out anymore and it’s starting to get cold! Nobody can see your outfit anyway. So do like my bff did when we saw Bjork a couple years ago, and roll up grampa status to the Empire Cholo Polo Field so you won’t have to worry about rubbing those bunion funyuns later. Hmm, This reminds me of my Morrissey cover band, Cholo in a Polo.
+ You’re not allowed to bring blankets to the venue, but I don’t see nuthin’ about No Snuggies!! I CTRL/APPLE F’d twice just to make sure. Don’t have a Snuggie to keep warm and sit on? Don’t fret yet my pet, you are allowed to bring a small towel so there will be no green skid marks in your future. Speaking of Snuggies, I tried one on and will bring it this weekend, along with yes, my BUMPITS and yes, MY SNAP PERFECTS. I will have an upcoming TELL ALL about my experience with all three. Perhaps even an educational video or a glamour shot of me wearing them simultaneously.
+ First of all, can these babies handle the vast terrain that is the Empire Polo Field?! If so, where can I sign up to rent one of these? For some reason I feel like I’ll have to wear rainbow suspenders and a beer hat when I scoot scoot around on this chariot.
+ Finally, spend the rest of the weekend with a bunch of friends at an MTV Cribs-style house that you can find on Craigslist. Stock up on booze, props, costumes and a lot of debauchery. Put bubble bath in the jacuzzi, wear your swimsuit with high heels. This is the real purpose of your trip. Coachella is really just your beard.
April 15, 2009 12 Comments
Last year it was Monsters and Mimosas…I think this Halloweaster thing is a good tradition. Vampire cupcakes are so addicting…That cover of Rob Pat kills me btw.
I also made heart-shaped macaroni and cheese and homemade pesto. FILLED WITH LOVE FOR MY BOs. The recipe I use is Nancy Reagan’s Mac N’ Cheese but I tweak the recipe and add cream cheese, otherwise it’s too dry.
* 1/2 lb macaroni
* 1 teaspoon butter
* 1 egg, beaten
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon dry mustard
* 3 cups sharp cheddar cheese, grated (I used a cheddar, jack and colby mix)
* 1 cup milk
* 2 oz cream cheese
Boil macaroni in water until tender and drain thoroughly.
Stir in butter and egg.
Mix mustard and salt with 1T hot water, and add to milk.
Add cheese, leaving enough to sprinkle on top.
Pour into buttered casserole; add milk, sprinkle with cheese.
Bake at 350°F for about 45 minutes or until custard is set and top is crusty.
THEN MANGIA MANGIA!
Heart-shaped noodles are perfect this recipe (holds the cheese in well) but hard to find this time of year. The one I used was a Valentine pasta from World Market. However, I did find this company that makes a variety of fun pastas year-round. Here’s some heart-shaped! Halloween pasta for your gawth lover, Bicycle pasta for all you bike people, Girlfriends pasta?! Cat Lovers pasta for your crazy cat friends and Star of David pasta for a sexy Jew. I added my homemade pesto to the macaroni and cheese and it came out SO DELISH.
I love my Hello Kitty apron. Can you count the stains? The dress is from the Jovovich-Hawk for Target line, shoes and belt from Charlotte Russe and the headband is from Forever 21.
And lastly, my ladies and I In the finest of faux furs…
Hope your Halloweaster was just as lovely!
April 13, 2009 9 Comments
Someone told me that in Mexico today, they will reenact the crucifixion by actually hammering nails into “Jesus’” hands. OH HALES NO TO THAT.
This person agrees to be “Jesus” for five years. The doctor xrays his hands and marks a target into his palm. Ambulances stand by.
Growing up, I took my Holy Communion and was even confirmed. I chose Mary Magdalene as my saint because my name is Marie Madeline and because I liked how she was a whore.
Once when I was a kid I found a pink Hello Kitty mini notepad at church.
Nowadays if I drink too much whiskey I will sometimes recite a whole Catholic mass.
I still think Catholicism is the prettiest religion.
April 10, 2009 8 Comments
A little while ago a friend and I had a feast at Del Taco (hmm that’s weird, because it wasn’t 3AM and we were both sober) and heard a click-clack sound coming our way. A pair of mini high heels caught our eye, as we both looked up to see this little girl walking around in a head-to-toe, leopard print outfit. We both quickly glanced at each other and tried not to die of LOL. Look at this little diva! She reminded me of a Bratz doll come to life. OH HALES.
Naturally I wanted one RIGHT AWAY. Will anyone lend me their child? Only for one day. Maybe not even a full day, how about an 8 hour shift? I’ll even take minimum wage.
PERKS OF BEING MY CHILD FOR 8 HRS:
1. She or he will get to learn fun things like taxidermy!
[amazing image via buzzfeed.]
2. Become one with the dark side!
3. Learn how to do impressions of my favorite AIM smiley!
4. Learn how to make cocktails!
5. And most importantly, be a fan of vegetables like I am (OR MAYBE JUST CORN)
Let me know,
April 9, 2009 9 Comments
Like you, I too am obsessed with lip chap. I blame my momma, who would always let me get TWO Flavor Saver Lip Balms whenever she placed an order from the Avon lady when I was a a kid. (Side note: I was also teased for having big MONKEY LIPS back then so now I am like FU HA! ’cause those same bitches probably have to get ‘em injected.) Anyway, when I went to California Adventure last week, I saw this chola bust out with a GIGANTIC lip balm…I have seen these monstrosities before but have never gotten one myself which is ridiculous since it combines my deep love of lip balm with my deep love of GIANT THINGS. That is a LOL in itself. I can’t wait til I’m at a stoplight with my stunna shades on, roll down the window, bust out my GIANT LIP BALM and go to town. IMAGINE? I will bust this out any time, any place. Before making out. “One mome, plz.” Then I proceed to saturate my face with a giant lip balm. (This cotton candy one sounds delish.)
Speaking of GIANT things, here is a video I never posted on here of me writing in a Lisa Frank diary with Star’s giant pencil. (Aw, I miss you and your giant pencil boo!)
Back to the lip balm, the past couple of years my addiction has decreased. I can go to sleep without putting some on but before that was a problem! M’lord! But for those of you who still have a strong addiction, I have found this. Good Luck!
April 7, 2009 9 Comments
Hello boos. This is just a picture post until I catch up on some REAL HARDCORE BLOGGING.
The other day I went to Disneyland’s California Adventure for some adventure.
Look at me spread for bread up there. Goddamn cochine supreme…
One thing you must have on your to-do is a Teen Witch screening party!
You will need lots of junk food..including this bag of GIANT CHEETOS Leyla is attacking.
My favorite way to spend a lazy Sunday lately… at the flea market, although it’s dangerous because I always end up buying more dresses!
Robyn found the best picture ever:
Jackie Chol-O over here. I love these giant shades I bought!
And in case you get too hot…how about some Agent Lover on ice?
Hehe I don’t play pranks on April Fool’s…I play them ALL YEAR LONG.
April 6, 2009 3 Comments
Confesh: I have been thinking about Justin Timberlake a lot lately because the other day I found a picture of me with short hair and glasses kissing a poster of him in Vegas WHERE I SAW HIM IN CONCERT (2003). Thank you. Ain’t no shame in my game EVER. Then Gilda posted that one SNL single ladies video (did you just barely see dat m’lady?) This all has resulted in a desire for some new sexy JT tunes. He’s close to perfection because #1: He funny, #2: He FUINE #3: He got flava for a white boy #4: He can sing AND dance #5: HE FUNNY!!! And now he is wearing glasses. SAY WAAT. You know every time there is a pair of Clark Kent spectacles around a panty drops (mine.) WTF is he doing to me?! My ladyboner is thru the roof. I’m hyperventilating right now. Then I come across this new Ciara video featuring the one and only:
I’m on the floor now. My bra magically flew off Zapped-style. I don’t know what happened to me but please, enjoy yourself if you feel me on this. Also have you peeped his William Rast line? Since I don’t wear pants I don’t see anything Rie-Rie-ish in his lady line (it’s all jeanz) but I do love this GIANT BELT:
However I’m not feeling camel toe brown. I wish it were white instead so it could look like a straightjacket on my waist. Okay one more:
I wonder what kind of texter he is. Is he an ALL CAPPER, does he LOL, is he quick, bad grammar? No punctuation!?? Does he text stories of life or keep it short and sweet? I imagine he drops the good shit like LL Cool J Lyrics and doesn’t miss a beat with a dirty pun. Thoughts?
March 31, 2009 8 Comments
- sequined bolero
- Stop Staring strawberry dress
- American Apparel belt
- steve madden wedges (I need to go shoe shopping plz)
Can we just talk for a moment about something?
Never mind. I have no words. Just a content look on my face. Dis bitch is crazy and I LUV IT.
I didn’t even think it was her at first. I thought it was an IMPOSTER. She looks fourteen in these pics. PS. Are you guys over the hair bow? We were all excited two months ago, but now I’m ready for something new. Watchu think? Maybe a unicorn horn made out of hair should be next. Sprinkle a ‘lil glitter to top it off. DAS RIGHT SON…
March 30, 2009 14 Comments
- vintage dress- fairfax flea
- strawberry belt
- soho lab shoes
- Doublespeak slip
- red socks
When I found this dress at the flea market I knew I had to have it because it reminded me of nurse scrubs. Perhaps it is some sort of uniform? Since I love pairing blue and turquoise with red accents, I wore it with my strawberry belt and red knee socks…but forgot to wear sock garters so by lunch they were giving up on me and rolling with the homies. AHHHH!! I had knee sock anxiety and little beads of sweat were forming on my forehead. It reminded me of sixth grade when I wore nude pantyhose socks with my slip-on Keds and flower print pedal pushers and they kept rolling down grannystiltskin style. How EMBARRASSING. Poor Rie Rie. By the way I still have not find any white sock garters yet. Are they just a figment of imagination? A dream that might never come true?
My friend Mike always sends me awesome vintage pictures he finds online.
Can you guess who is my new style icon in this picture?
Yes, the second girl from the left. BITCH PLZ DONCHU KNOW IT. I am feeling a lil’ El Topo – Wednesday Addams thang going on wit dat shit… I’m working on that outfit STAT!
March 28, 2009 14 Comments