Agent Lover Loves You – Volume III

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♥Ebay red lace dress, Amiclub heart print wedges, Pygmy Hippo Sweetheart bow

As you can see I found a cute red lace dress like I had wanted…except it’s REAL SLUTTY! But I guess that’s what I should expect for always calling it PUTANA LACE! I kind of have a secret (or not-so-secret) love for showing off a bra once in a while like Alabama Worley (mmyes that is a foreshadowing for my Cinephilia post tomorrow!)

And now here is my third annual Agent Lover Loves You mix! If you missed last years, you can get it here. This time I decided to go all old school naughty, and I mean waaaay old school. Starting off with some dirty blues and ending with some hilarious cochina songs. Enjoy!

Agent Lover Loves You Volume III: Double Entendre, Double The Pleasure

♥Blue Lu Barker – Don’t You Feel My Leg♥
♥Bo Carter – Banana In Your Fruit Basket♥
♥Georgia White – I’ll Keep Sittin’ On It (If I Can’t Sell It)♥
♥Oscar’s Chicago Swingers – New Rubbing On That Darned Old Thing♥
♥Lillie Mae Kirkman – He’ s Just My Size♥
♥Bo Carter – Please Warm My Weiner♥
♥Lucille Bogan – Shave Em’ Dry♥
♥The Blenders – Don’t Fuck Around WIth Love♥
♥Angelina – He Forgot His Rubbers♥
♥Miss Dee – Hey Mister Ice Man!♥
♥Connie Lingus – Fuck Me Forever♥

LUV EWE MY BEWS

February 14, 2011   14 Comments

Bruja Book Club: Role Models By John Waters

Besides the PLETHORA of erotic fiction and paranormal research, my book collection includes a ton of biographies. They also make up my current reading list, which are actually all autobiographies to be exact. I’m more than halfway through reading John Waters’ book, Role Models, which is basically me reading about the role models of one of my role models. My favorite chapter so far is the one on Rei Kawakubo, where Uncle John also has some wise words on thrifting and personal style. This quote by him is one of the greatest things I have ever read:

“You don’t need fashion designers when you are young. Have faith in your own bad taste. Buy the cheapest thing in your local thrift shop – the clothes that are freshly out of style with even the hippest people a few years older than you. Get on the fashion nerves of your peers, not your parents – that is the key to fashion leadership. Ill-fitting is always stylish. But be more creative – wear your clothes inside out, backward, upside down. Throw bleach in a load of colored laundry. Follow the exact opposite of the dry cleaning instructions inside the clothes that cost the most in your thrift shop. Don’t wear jewelry – stick Band-Aids on your wrists or make a necklace out of them. Wear Scotch tape on the side of your face like a bad face-lift attempt. Mismatch your shoes. Best yet, do as Mink Stole used to do: go to the thrift store the day after Halloween, when the children’s trick-or-treat costumes are on sale, buy one, and wear it as your uniform of defiance.”

LISTEN TO THE BRILLIANCE OF UNCLE JOHN-JOHN. He’s also going to be at UCLA in a couple of weeks doing a “one-man vaudeville act” and our favorite ladyboner intelli-hunk of all hunks, Matthew Gray Gubler is hosting. It’s sold out but I was able to score tickets last minute! Look for me in the balcony wearing something obnoxious and Divine-like (the yooj). Last time I saw him live was for his Christmas special in 2005 so I’m extra excited! If you are a fan of this genius among men, you will definitely like Role Models. And to take us into the weekend…here is an embarrassing picture from when I met Uncle John and drew a fake moustache on my finger so I could sneak ‘stache bomb him like the assholia I am. BUT, I was even more stu and brought a PURPLE SHARPIE so it didn’t show up that clearly on camera ::sad fart noise::

February 11, 2011   10 Comments

The Winner Of The Original LOMs Contest OMG

Death of a Cheerleader

First of all, lemme just say that when I first decided to write this post on my Top Ten Lifetime Original Movies I did not think I’d get this much of a response. I mean I know there are a select few of us that have caught a LOM or two in our lives but I didn’t think it was gonna be like this! Even men I know have come forward and expressed their love of the LOM. One even said his favorite was called “What Alice Found.” ABOUT TRUCK STOP PROSTITUTION! AMAZING!

And now it is time to announce the winner of the Death of a Cheerleader dvd (which is not an Ebay bootleg btw, PHEW!) This was seriously the hardest decision of my life you guys. Every entry was so creative and hilar, it was very difficult to choose. But just like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, there can only be one. So to help with my decision I went to the desert on a spiritual quest, wearing only chambray and knotted pearls. I built an altar of candles surrounding framed photos of Marcia Gay Harden and under a full white moon, called upon the spirit of the LOM. Thus, the chosen one was revealed…

JOE YOU ARE THE WINNER!!!!

Here is his entry:

“Mine is called “Thou Shall Not Kill”. Mine is about a group of devout teenage Christians, who will do whatever it takes to make sure their classmates stay celibate. Even kill. It would have been filmed in in the mid ’90s and would star Emily Schulman (aka Harriet from “Small Wonder”) as Sandy Fuller, the Christian girl gone psycho; Cherie Johnson as her partner in crime, Katrina Thomas; and Maureen Flannigan as her slutty arch rival, Samantha Radomski. She’ll sleep w/ anyone to tick “Sandy” off. Including Sandy’s boyfriend, Ronnie Santucci, played by Michael Cade (of “California Dreams”). Watch what happens when lust is stronger than the bible.”

BRILLIANT!! I picked Joe because he used all of my favorite elements to create the perfect LOM:

  • 80′s Child actors trying to break out of their stereotypical roles: Harriet from Small Wonder (my bangs arch-nemesis) Cherie from Punky Brewster and Evie Ethel Garland from Out Of This World.
  • Killer Christians!!!
  • High school scandal
  • and the one that sealed the deal…MICHAEL CADE OF CALIFORNIA DREAMS! How dare you!! That cameo was totally out of left field!

Thanks again to everyone who entered! I wish I could give you all prizes because they were all very LOM-worthy! But don’t fret just yet my pet. I will have more contests in the future where you can win more LOMs!

LUVIN EWE!

February 10, 2011   12 Comments

Dress Obsessed & New Paperdoll!

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♥ Thrifted velvet dress, red bow from childhood, Cutie Dynamite sequin heart hair clip, Target white kneesocks, old red wedge heels that are on their last legs :( , cute stuffed felt deer from Pygmy Hippo!  ♥

And now a couple of things!

New Doll

My new Paperdoll is finally up! We have bangs, a cornsuit, a framed photo of beloved Stamos, Mr. Shankly the Frenchton pup, and a HOVERBOARD!!!! As well as new illustrations of outfits and accessories from my real life closet! Again, the Paperdoll was done by the lovely and amazing Gea. Huge shoutout to Steen for doing the coding so quickly! I’m so happy she is up and ready to be dressed by you pervs!

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Kindertrauma has solved a mystery that has been plaguing me for many years. If you haven’t checked their site out yet (HOW DARE U) they help  find forgotten names of movies that traumatized us from childhood. Over the years I have asked friends, film nerds and even YOU about a particular strange movie I saw when I was young and everyone thought I was crazy, but Kindertrauma has proved my sanity! Oddly enough the movie came out in 1995… so I was scared of this as a teenager?! (Actually not surprising since I’ve jumped during a Halloween episode of Boy Meets World before.) Also starred WIL WHEATON and NIA PEEPLES and it was directed by Roger Avary. What the F is going on here?! How much more random can we get? I feel like a weight has been lifted off me shoulders!

Lastly, I am PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE… Pygmy Hippo has just opened an online shop!! So any of you lovely boos who can’t make it to the shop in person can now get some of the Pygmy Hippo charm delivered right to your door! CHECK IT OUT!

February 7, 2011   12 Comments

Obsess With Me: Top Ten Lifetime Original Movies And Giveaway!

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Ever since I saw Switched At Birth starring Bonnie Bedelia when I was a preteen, I have enjoyed the cinematic works of art known as Lifetime Original Movies (aka LOMs.) I know many of you feel the same way so I figured a discussion of our favorite LOMs would ignite more passion in our bloglationship. Today I am sharing with you my Top Ten Favorite Lifetime Original Movies with a surprise giveaway at the end! (the blog equivalent to me coming out in a black negligee.) With the hundreds of Lifetime movies out there, you would think it would be impossible to narrow them down to a measly ten, but I did it! Most of my favorites are from the nineties, since I have been sadly underwhelmed by many of the recent ones. The Craigslist Killer was terrible! Amish Grace? Horrible! However there are a couple of newer ones that put a ‘lil sparkle in my eye…SHALL WE BEGIN?

Nora Roberts Lifetime

The Nora Roberts movies

These four movies, based on stories from romance novelist Nora Roberts, played for a month sometime in 2009. I was lucky (anti-social) enough to catch Tribute (RIP Brittany) and Midnight Bayou and enjoyed the mix of romance , suspense, and the supernatural. I still have to watch the other two but surely I won’t be disappointed. Also FYI the one with Leann Rimes and that hot dimples dude is how they started having an IRL affair! Not like anyone cares or anything.

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Sins of the Mind

I am pretty sure nobody besides me saw Sins of The Mind. I couldn’t even find a better picture of it than the one above, that’s how obscure this is. This movie has seriously fucked me up for the past ten years. It’s about a girl who gets into a car accident and suffers trauma to the brain, particularly the nerve that controls impulses. Basically she becomes what many of us only dream to be: a big ol’ whore. She can’t resist any of her urges, which of course are mostly sexual. During a trip to London in 2002, I was walking across the Thames River and told Shaun I was afraid my impulse gland was broken like in Sins Of The Mind and I might jump into the water. I’m sure that paranoia was triggered by exhaustion and jetlag and not by me being cray.

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She’s Too Young

This is another newer one I enjoyed because it’s about a bunch of teenagers getting syphilis. Sluts! What is there more to say? Marcia Gay Harden is very angry in this movie.

Twisted Desire

Twisted Desire

There was a time in the 90′s when all of our favorite goody-two-shoes sitcom stars were in Lifetime movies. This one had Clarissa Explains It All’s Melissa Joan Hart seducing Jeremy “Right Kind of Love” Jordan into murdering her parents! What a bitch.

Friends Til The End

Friends Til The End

Shannen Doherty stars as a girl in a band who becomes the victim of a single white female. This was basically an extra-long episode of 90210. A memorable scene was when the band shot their music video in the desert. Lots of 90′s camera angles.

Mother May I Sleep With Danger

Mother May I Sleep With Danger?

First of all, this wins the award for best title of a movie ever made. Donna Martin, sporting an extreme bob, is romanced by butt-chinned 90′s hunk Ivan Sergei. In no time, his affection turns into obsession and he traps her in a log cabin. The Wikipedia description says all you need to know: “Laurel (Spelling) discovers that her new boyfriend Kevin (Sergei) is a serial killer, and must escape the mountain cabin in which he is holding her captive by paddling down a river in a canoe at dusk.”

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No One Would Tell

Another one starring a couple of our favorite child actors, Kevin Arnold aka my first love, Fred Savage, is a possessive asshole who beats up and eventually murders his girlfriend played by D.J. Tanner! UGH SO GOOD. What would you do if I sang outta tune?

She Fought Alone

She Fought Alone

Do you guys remember when Brian Austin Green (BAG) and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (TAT) were in hyphen-named puppy love? Tiffani even got a green heart tattooed on her back during this time.  Anyway, she plays a bad girl who gets raped by the friend of BAG’s character and nobody believes her.

A Killer Among Friends

A Killer Among Friends

Another LOM starring Tiffani Amber, I liked this one so much I had taped it on VHS.  TAT plays a cute popular girl who gets murdered down by the river by her jealous friends. I remember the murder scene looked super fake because they used what looked like a blow-up doll. The ringleader of the friends actually moves into TAT’s mom’s (played by Patty Duke!) house after the murder like a creepy ass bitch. Years pass until one of the friends confesses. Still not sure why I liked watching this one over and over. I must be the real creep!

Death of a Cheerleader

And finally…the #1 LOM: Death of a Cheerleader!

Was this too obvious!? There are countless elements that make this LOM #1 on my list. Kellie Martin plays Angela, a nice high school girl who wants nothing more to be perfect and popular. She watches in envy as queen bee Stacy Lockwood (perfect bitch name) one-ups her in all teen territories, from having the coolest skiing outfit to making the cheerleading squad. Even though Angela is smart, well-liked and part of the Larks (a sorority-type clique at the school), she still can’t accept Stacy Lockwood always being one step ahead of her. One fateful day, Stacy calls Angela a weirdo and Angela stabs her! At first the murder is blamed on the class goth and Angela begins to reap the benefits of being Miss Popular… until her Catholic guilt takes over and she confesses to the murder.

Death of a Cheerleader

Let me write you a list of why Death of A Cheerleader is my favorite Lifetime movie ever.

  • Donna Martin is a snotty ass bitch!
  • The fashion mostly consists of chambray, knotted pearls, and gold Jesus crosses.
  • There is a strong Catholic theme throughout the whole movie. SO MUCH GUILT
  • There is a “taking odd jobs to make enough money to go to the ski trip” montage of Angela – you know how I love montages!
  • Cameos include: Valerie Harper as the mom, JOHN LOCKE as the principal, and Uncle Phil Banks from Fresh Prince!

Death of a Cheerleader

I hate you Stacy Lockwood!!

And now for my revealing negligee…

Death of a Cheerleader

I AM GIVING AWAY A COPY OF DEATH OF A CHEERLEADER! Not the one above since that was my Netflix copy but I have a brand new one for you all the way from Ebay! Let’s hope it’s not bootleg. Actually if it is, it will make this whole thing even better! To enter, make up your own Lifetime Original Movie and leave it as a comment below. I want a sweet title, a short plot summary and throw in some actors too if you want! Make me laugh, make me gasp, make me shed a tear! The most original and entertaining idea wins!

PS. I will be uploading more LOM screencaps to my Tumblr, including another favorite aspect of them…the shitty looking opening title sequences!

February 2, 2011   65 Comments

Mad Crushin’ On Bombon

Bombon
Photo by ‘Shanty’ Cheryl Groff. From left: Paloma, Angela and Jerico

Bombón is not some average cute girl band with matching outfits and an adorable name (marshmallow in español.) This San Pedro-based ladytrio plays 60′s surf rock with the kind of energy and talent that would make Link Wray proud and have Annette Funicello shaking her hips. Their first LP, Las Chicas del Bombón, may invoke warm weather, the desire for days spent at the beach, and road trips with girlfriends. It can also be the official soundtrack to our daily winged-eyeliner application. Learn more about Angela, Paloma and Jerico below!

How did you ladies come together to form Bombón?

Jerico: Bombón was the brain child of Angela. She has a passion for 60′s surf and shared it with us. That girl is just the most amazing guitar player and she got us going on the genre by showing us her mad reverb-y stylesss haha. I had previously played guitar, but opted to learn some drums for the occasion and Paloma brought forth her funky bass styles. Ang showed us what she had and it just flowed out real easily from there. The three of us collaborate really well together and it all just sorta fell into place. A little more than a year in, we had a cassette done by Burger Records of Orange County, a mini-tour of Nor-Cal, followed by our self-released LP, Las Chicas Del Bombón on 45 RPM Records, and an epic tour, nay, journey! of the South under our belts. I might also add that we made LA Weekly’s “Top 10 Bands to Watch in 2011″ list!! Yay!

What inspires your songs?

Angela: Family, friends, old westerns and horror films.
Paloma: Friends and bandmates
Jerico: I just like to make songs that i think will get peeps’ toes a’tappin’.

Bombon
Photo by ‘Shanty’ Cheryl Groff.

What female musicians have inspired you personally?

A: There is a great span of female musicians that inspire me to play music such as Holly Golightly, Kira Roessler, ect… but the first that had initially inspired me would be Poison Ivy Rorschach.
P: Basically same as Angela. Definitely Holly Golightly and Kira Roessler taught me how to hold my bass and pluck a bass string with my fingers! Although she doesn’t approve of me playing a right-handed bass while being left handed. Kira rules!
J: My lady faves are Jenny Lewis, Zooey Deschanel and Kim Shattuck of The Muffs. They are all rock goddesses in my eyes.

Your current musical crushes?

A: Not quite sure if you can call it a crush, but The Pine Hill Haints I will love to death!
P: Thurston Moore
J: Totally have a girl crush on Bethany Cosentino from Best Coast right now, but my heart will always belong to George Harrison.

Are there any movies that speak the vibe of Bombón?

A:  I would like to hope for a Quentin film.
P: Yes Any Quentin-directed movie.
J: QT has it!

Bombon
Photo by ‘Shanty’ Cheryl Groff.

You always rock the cutest outfits, how do you decide what to wear for shows?

A: Our decision is usually based on comfort.
P: Whatever is easiest but cute.
J: We like to shop together, we pick out things that are cute, but also functional, and we all throw our own unique twists on each outfit. Our schtick is based off of the nostalgic girl-group vibe , that’s why we go all matchy-matchy.

If you could describe your style as the combination of any two people or things, who or what would they be?

A: My grandparents and Barbara Eden,
P: I would like to think Zooey Deschanel with a mix of punk…well at least that’s the style I like.
J: I’d like to think of myself as Jenny Lewis meets Lucille Ball.

What are your wardrobe staples?

A: Boots, tangerine lipstick and black tights.
P: Black or grey worn out t-shirts.
J: You’ll pretty much always see me in a pair of high top chucks and anything red.

Bombon

What are some of your current obsessions?

A: Currently… in search of Silvio Rodriguez albums and 1950’s sweater clips.
P: Mastering the art of 1960′s hairdo’s.
J: I’m kind of obsessed with Words with Friends right now, the Scrabble game for iPod where you play against your friends. Haha!

What’s next on the menu for Bombón?

A: Writing new songs!
P: More songs and hopefully more tours and records!
J: I wanna tour Japan!

For more Bombón, check out their Facebook for upcoming shows and don’t forget to purchase their LP here! The record comes with a free digital download and a cute insert too!

February 1, 2011   5 Comments

Lisa Turtle Steez

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♥ vintage dress from Fairfax Flea Market, Betsey Johnson Pollys ♥

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I love this dress because it reminds me of an 80′s watercolor painting that would be hanging on the wall of a Denny’s bathroom. OR, Lisa Turtle would be wearing to a date at The Max.

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Star and Kristen were in town shooting a music video for their band, This Can’t End Well, and we got to spend some QT together but it was obviously not enough!! I really need to take a ‘lil trip up to SF soon. MISS THEM BOOS

P1010503

Also had to run to Pasadena for supplies and got lunch at Le Pain Quotidien. This tuna and hummus sangwich was SO GOOD

This is just a short post before a flurry of random posts that have been dancing in my head for awhile so consider yourself warned. Also, I’ve been posting on my Tumblr a lot lately which is weird since I previously hated Tumblr (sawre Tumbla) but I now shall consider it the B-sides and Extras to this blog. LAWT SO MUCH INTERNET

January 29, 2011   15 Comments

PoptART Gallery Opening This Saturday

LenoraClaireYOURFACEHERE

If you are in LA this weekend, you should check out the opening for the brand new PoptART Gallery by Lenora Claire and Phyliss Navidad. Their first exhibition is photographer Austin Young’s “Your Face Here,” where the audience participates by filling the walls with portraits Austin will be taking of them during the opening and throughout the show’s run. There will also be a performance by Killsonic, a 50 piece musical marching band and Purple Circle and Urban Decay will be doing mini-makeovers for the “models.” Such a cool concept!

With all the memories I have of Lenora’s past projects such as Golden Girls Gone Wild and Bettie Page: Heaven Bound, I’m extremely excited to see what my favorite redhead will be doing with PoptART in the months to come!

YOURFACEHERE

YOUR FACE HERE
by Austin Young
January 29th – March 5th, 2011
opening reception: January 29th, 7-10p
closing reception: March 5th
Pop tART Gallery
3023 W. 6th St.
Los Angeles, CA 90020

January 28, 2011   No Comments

Pendleton: The Portland Collection

Pendleton Portland Collection
Photos via Honey Kennedy

::A recent driving scene with me and My Style Council (similar to The Future Council in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure)::

Me: “So don’t hit me but I’m really into this Native-American, ‘scuse me, injun-inspired Portland Collection for Pendleton.”

My Style Council: “I don’t even know what that means. MARIE YOU BETTER NOT START WEARING FUCKING TURQUOISE JEWELRY!”

Me: “Hey what’s wrong with turquoise jewelry?! I like it! How about if I wear just ONE ring? GAWD”

Pendleton Portland Collection

I first started raising a sexy eyebrow to old skool brand, Pendleton, when I saw my friend Melissa carrying their Dopp bag during our trip to Palm Springs. My crush on her purse somehow resulted in me buying a red Mexican poncho bag which I’m currently head over heels for yet I still long for the small Navajo-print one. Then, as I was keeping a close winged-eye on Pendleton, I heard about the Portland Collection and found myself WTF’ing all over the place because my fashion boner felt so… OUT OF CHARACTER. Then again not really, you know I love variety in my clothes and in my men. WINK

Portland Collection for Pendleton

So out of this collection, the cardigans take the cake for me. I love them all!!!!

Pendleton Portland Collection

I feel like this particular one has a Winnie Cooper sort of vibe. Is it the colors? Does anyone else feel what I feel or am I just a craylarius von crayla as per yooj?

Portland Collection for Pendleton

Question. Would you chop wood in these red plaid outfits with your lover? I know I would be down. Who doesn’t want to roleplay Mr. and Mrs. Lumberjack on a nice Sunday afternoon?

Portland Collection for Pendleton

Question. Would you wear these giant ponchos with your lover? You know I would. I wanna curl up in these with my winter thugboo while we watch the new episode of Beyond Scared Straight. Actually, they remind me a little of an updated version of the cholo ponchos from eighth grade. Remember when those were in?

Portland Collection for Pendleton

IN CONCLUSION, this whole thing has reminded me that I still want some cute Minnetonka moccasins. But of course I want some bright red ones and all I can find is this dark menstrual color.

moccasins don't freak out

Is there any hope? If not I have these options:

moccasins don't freak out

The pink ones are particularly whispering to me but I’m not sure about that nursing school sole. They grey ones are really cute..but I also love the traditional tan. AHHH!!! Thoughts?

January 27, 2011   27 Comments

Take Me To Manila

naut3

naut

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♥ old F21 coat, Postlapsaria dress, target kneesocks, Jeffrey Campbell shoes (I think I bought the last pair from Lulus), heart sunglasses courtesy of Fred Flare

I bought this nautical-themed dress from Keiko Lynn’s line a long time ago and finally have an outfit post with it! Such a fun dress, especially since it’s in my favorite color palette.

Philippine Daily Inquirer

Also, I want to thank the Philippine Daily Inquirer for featuring me in their newspaper! OH MY GAW YOU GUYS!! My friends and I are ready to visit the Philippines! Salamat to Jewel for sending me a picture of it! You can read the article here.

January 24, 2011   15 Comments