Little Red Riding Hoodrat

lil red riding hoodrat

♥red and black capelet from, AA skirt, cheapo sunglasses, JC Penney boots♥

This is what I wore to the flea market the other weekend. Hey you guys? When fall comes around again can you PLEASE remind me to be on the lurq for a solid red capelet? Because I realized that’s the type of garment I need in life to pay homage to Wendy the Good Little Witch without having to wear a scary floor length red cloak.

Wendy the Witch

I did happen to score a Wendy tumbler at the flea! FINALLY! I’d always see them at the antique shop and tell myself I was going to start collecting but never did…UNTIL NOW. I also got a yellow petal head scarf that I may have the perfect dress to pair it with.

Let’s just end this brief post with my new (to me) favorite Doll-E song. Whenever I hear this song I imagine myself slow-dancing with the A.C. Slater-dimpled cholo who makes my breakfast burritos. DON’T BE JEALOUS!

Let’s just take another one to go. OMG I LOVE DOLL-E GIRL!!

April 5, 2011   5 Comments

The Agent Lover And Ashe Mischief Slumber Party: Getcha Nails Did

WELCOME EVERYBODY! It’s time to unveil my first post for the Ashe Mischief and Agent Lover Virtual Slumber Party! This week we will be covering all slumber party-related topics such as beauty, boys, and booze! And to any dudes who are reading this, it’s pretty much like that episode of Saved by the Bell when Zack and Screech bug the girls’ slumber party with a tape recorder to find out who Kelly wants to take to prom. Or you can pretend this is an old-fashioned panty raid. AS YOU WISH, but be careful because you might get hoodwinked and accidentally leave with THESE. Anyway first up is my beauty post dedicated to a classic slumber party activity: GETTING YOUR NAILS DID!

When my girlfriends and I get together, we’ll gather all of our nail polish arsenals for a full-on night of ridiculous manicures. This is a serious thing, complete with heavy toolboxes filled with every manicure tool imaginable as well as refrigerators stocked with more nail polish than food. Obviously there ain’t no playin’ around these parts. Look at this erotic pose we did to show off our sexy talons during a recent ladies night in:

sexy nails

Now, I shall share with you my current choices for suitable slumber party nail polish!

Bright, girly colors are my favorite, so the Anchors Away collection from China Glaze is perfect! And nautical-themed nails would be great to try using the red and blue shades. All you need is a good white polish, like China Glaze’s White on White. I’d love to do something like this tutorial I found on I Love Nail Polish soon!

I am LOVING Urban Decay’s Rollergirl collection. Look at those purples and pinks!! GIVE IT TO ME!

And there’s also Katy Perry’s recent line for O.P.I. I love the multi-glitter but it’s very similar to the Burlesque one I have already. The blue glitter is gorge though! Has anyone tried that Shatter stuff on the right? I haven’t tried anything like that since my teen years.

As always, it’s important to have a variety of decals to add a fun little touch to your manicure. Sephora came out with these Hello Kitty decals not too long ago.

Sally carries SO much nail stuff nowadays! You can easily pick up some lil’ fruits for your fingers!

Do any of you ladies have any favorite nailsdid tips you’d like to share? Or are there any specific nail color collections coming out that we should know about? PLE TELL ME EVERYTHANG! Make sure to head over to Ashe’s blog for her post on cute pajammy-jams! And stay tuned for more Slumber Party posts from the both of us all week!

April 4, 2011   15 Comments

My Amy Fisher Article On The Hairpin

The Hairpin posted an article I wrote on the THREE made-for-TV movies about the Amy Fisher/Joey Buttafuoco scandal from the early nineties. Ple lurq it here. Maybe you can make a Long Island Lolita cocktail to drink while you read! It could basically be a Long Island Iced Tea but with a single cherry…

March 31, 2011   1 Comment

See By Chloe Poya Satchel: Let Me Love You

Ah. The See By Chloé Poya Satchel. WE MEET AGAIN. I have such an intense heart-on for this bag I would let it get to second base without even buying me dinner first. Well maybe some Jack in the Box 99 cent tacos, a girl has to have SOME dignity, do she not? This bag is perfect…HOWEVER, you all know I am a dreamer of dreams. My fantasy in general for everything in life is for complete customization. If only I could have this bag in red and make the scalloped trim white, as if a Valentine were carrying my belongings. And of course, secret compartments all over the inside (for my bangs switchblade comb, emergency nuts, etc.) Imagine a Build-a-Bear sort of situation for this but instead build-a-bag!

::dazed smile + faraway look in my eyes::

March 29, 2011   5 Comments

I Would Look Really Cute In These Dresses


Dear Creatures “Gretal”

Topshop boat print dress

THIS RACHEL ANTONOFF DRESS AHHHHH  you know this is my jam

Samantha Pleet - obviously I’d change that to a red belt




March 29, 2011   14 Comments

Love Letters To My Outfits From The Past Few Weeks

Melissa and Mike's Bday

Dear Pizza-Lovin’ Flower Child: Some men may react to this look with renaissance fair jokes, but who cares when there’s PIZZA!!!

♥ failed Legend of Billie Jean viewing/ pizza party outfit: Loulou Loves Lou flower headband, pink lace dress from Le Monde, Rodarte for Target tights, JCPenney boots ♥

SF March 2011

Dear Red Hat Society Reject: You might have left your heart (and Star) in San Francisco but you still have two on your feet so make sure nobody steps on your toes!

♥ SF trip outfit: red jacket – gift, vintage dress, $5 sunnies, AMAZING black tights courtesy of We Love Colors (more on them soon!), old flats that I dazzled up with some SEQUIN HEARTS WACHOW NOW ♥ ♥

Emi's Birthday Party

Dear Red Shoe Diaries: Ahh…I see another pair of red shoes to add to your Hans Christan Andersen obsession. On the Shoe Pyramid/Triangle, these would be pretty high up, but please, be careful…this is definitely Spice Girl ankle twisting territory you are in.

♥ Celebrating my bff’s b-day partytime outfit: Cutie Dynamite heart clip, old lace top, the AMAZING black tights c/o We Love Colors again, floral dress from another chola shop, old heart belt! shoes from aka my new obsession ♥


Dear Princess Of Prints: Ever since someone once told you “Only you could get away with that outfit” when you decided wearing giant raver jeans and a patent leather backless halter top (DON’T BE SCARED EVERYONE) was a good idea in 1999, that sentence has remained in your mind to this day…so of course you wouldn’t think twice about mixing a little floral with a little polka dot. And didn’t you say this was your casual rainy day outfit?

♥ My rainy day-slumber party-M.A.S.H. playing-outfit: Levi’s jacket, thrifted dress, lace top from local cholita store, lavender polka dot tights c/o We Love Colors, boots from TJ Maxx. ♥

March 28, 2011   9 Comments

Two Word Movie Review: Sucker Punch

I suggest that when you finally decide to watch this movie (on Netflix four months from now or on TBS three years later), put it on mute and enjoy the view, because it is exactly what you’d imagine if all the Legs Avenue Halloween costumes were given an action film. I swear I didn’t expect much. You know I am a simple man of simple pleasures. Hot ladies in glittering thigh highs kicking ass is all I thought I’d need! But if an E! reality show has more of an intriguing plot…well that can kill anyone’s boner!

Also, If Jean-Luc Godard said that “All you need for a movie is a gun and a girl”, then Sucker Punch is the Calvin sticker that just peed all over that quote.

Edit: A little bit later, I thought of this review in the shower and posted it on Twitter:

March 27, 2011   20 Comments

Sorry For Not Blogging, I’ve Been On Vacation With My New Boyfriend


Hey my boos! Sorry I’ve been a bit M.I.A. the past few weeks. I fell crazy in love Beyonce-style so unfortunately AL has suffered. Don’t worry though… I shall be back in two twists of a smurf’s nipple!

P.S. Please don’t think I’m tacky and less classy if I come back covered in hickeys!

March 22, 2011   7 Comments

Thrift Tour: Palm Springs Edition



A couple of years ago I tried thrifting in Palm Springs but was unsuccessful. Still, it left me even more intent on finding the hidden gems of secondhand clothing shops in this desert paradise. When I visited the Ace in the summer, I went to The Living Desert and lo and behold, a copious amount of thrift stores were spotted on the drive down. JACKPOT! When I went back to the Ace a couple of months ago, it was obviously not tanning weather so we decided to do the next best thing…THRIFT! And because I love chu all, I made a thrifting treasure map so you can embark on your own Palm Springs Thrift Tour!

Start at the Ace and drive for about 20 minutes or so down Highway 111 and you will see TONS of thrift shops. Scattered throughout Coachella Valley are two major resale chains: Revivals and Angel View Thrift. We also found a few scary hole in the wall places (where you could buy bags filled with used panties… Anyone?) but our best luck was at the aforementioned spots.


This weird cobalt blue half sweatshirt/half knit sweater caught my eye right away. I think I’ll add a cluster of brooches à la Karlito and wear it with leggings and my gold pizza earring for a casual weekday, Claudia Kishi-type of vibe.

thrift tour

My childhood fantasies of being an In Living Color flygirl finally became reality as soon as I put on this multi-colored jacket! I swear my hair suddenly turned into a spiral perm and I immediately started talking in a Rosie Perez accent. Little did I know this was only the beginning of many more outrageous jackets to come.


thrift tour

Leyla scored a set of Time-Life books from the 70′s filled with pictures a Tumblr can only dream about. My favorite photos included these of ladies smuggling booze in their boots and dresses during the Prohibition. GALS AFTER MY OWN HEART.

thrift tour

I told you the jackets were only going to get more majestic during this thrift tour.

thrift tour

Crazy studded purple suede thang. If only I had a matching church hat and a motorcycle to go with it…PURPLE REIGN.

thrift tour

Which one of my lucky friends is receiving this horse vest?

thrift tour

At Angel View there was a great selection of vintage slips. I settled on these two hot pink ones. Love! All in all, we had a pretty good thrift tour and we didn’t even get to all of the shops! Highway 111 really is a paradise for us thrift lovers.

Now as many of you seasoned thrifters know, thrifting is 50% luck and 50% “how can I work this mutha?” so here are a few tips to check yo’self before you wreck yo’self.

  • Be in a relaxed frame of mind because you will definitely need some patience rummaging through these racks of clothes and shelves of tchotchkes.  It can get pretty dangerous out there. The crowds, the smells, the overwhelming sensation of strange hands OMG. You don’t want to have THRIFT RAGE (similar to Road Rage.)
  • Remember to thoroughly check for holes and stains and decide if they could easily be fixed and removed before purchasing. Yes, that cute pastel schoolgirl blouse looks good from here but make sure it doesn’t have YELLOW PITS. I remember when I was in high school during the thrifting prime of the mid 90′s, one of my friends found TOENAIL CLIPPINGS inside one of her thrifted shirt pockets. VOMITROCIA INDEED! So be careful you guys.
  • Wear comfy clothing like leggings and t-shirts you can easily slip skirts and sweaters over to try on since 90% of the time thrift stores don’t have dressing rooms.
  • Be practical about pricing. Thrifting is not as cheap as it used to be so have a budget and know what is worth your wallet. On that note, too bad this work of art was a whopping $95! I would have gladly added it to my collection.

thrift tour

March 9, 2011   15 Comments

Dear John Waters, I Want To Get Drunk With You Already

john waters show outfit

♥ 80′s faux fur coat, Built By Wendy for Target dress, peach socks courtesy of We Love Colors, Jeffrey Campbell shoes from Lulu’s, F21 belt, Lips hat made by Emi for my xmas present last year ♥

john waters show outfit

This is what I wore to John Waters’ “This Filthy World Goes Hollywood” show the other night! Firstly, I just have to say John Waters is a goddamn machine. He is NONSTOP hilarity with his stories! I could throw on a snuggie and listen to him talk for hours! I don’t think I saw him even take a sip of water to clear his throat. How the?! Mr. Waters, seriously let’s just knock back a few dranks and talk shit about everything in the world because this is RIDICULOUS! Secondly, let’s talk about this dress for a minute. Yes, I said Built By Wendy for Target in my outfit notes above. Um…WHAT?! I know. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? This dress is not part of some Built By Wendy for Target collection nor was it available in stores. It was featured in Target’s Red Hot shop a few days before Valentine’s day which means nobody would have been able to even get it in time for Valentine’s. I snatched it up on a day when it was 20% off and free shipping. It was red with little orange hearts, I HAD TO! But where were the press releases? Why didn’t anyone know about this? WHY WERE YOU HIDING THIS FROM US. Another strange thing is there were no price tags on the dress, just a sewn tag that says Built By Wendy. WHAT IN TARNASHIA IS GOING ON YOU GUYS.

john waters show outfit

Anytime I can wear my lips hat is a good time indeed. The show was at UCLA so I can’t expect a parade of fashion, just Uggs and sweats I GUESS. Why are people so boring? Couldn’t someone have dressed up like Divine or made a hat that looked like a literal piece of shit as an ode to Pink Flamingos? I guess it’s going to have to be me next time sporting that fake dook. OMG! With little flies on wires buzzing around it! Imagine! Back to my anger, seriously why don’t people dress up? We are all going to die at some point so you might as well wear a crazy hat, you assholes.

john waters show outfit


john waters show outfit

I got these vintage Japanese opera glasses for Emi and I since we were up in the balcony and besides being cute, they were actually very useful! I was able to spot host Matthew Gray Gubler’s moustache homage to JW from up above! I also fell in love that night with Elvis Perkins, who was the opening musical act. He sounds like Jeff Mangum and is Anthony Perkins’ (yes from Psycho) son. I am ashamed I never knew about him before, but even though I try to know everything that is going on  at all times, some days I listen to too much 90′s Mariah and miss out on gems such as this mang. Ple dew:

February 24, 2011   24 Comments