The Slumber Party Continues: Reveal Your Crushes

Now that we’ve ~loosened up~ with a little drinking game at Ashe’s blog, it’s time to grab our pillows and gather ’round to talk about our favorite topic in life…OUR CRUSHES!

Dylan McKay, Joey “WHOA” Lawrence, the whole cast of The Lost Boys, Jonathan Brandis (R.I.P.), Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez…we really could go on forever about the Tiger Beat cover boys who stole our hearts.  You always had to “call dibs” on your favorite Corey, Brat Pack member or New Kid because it was taboo to have the same celebrity crush as your best friend. Don’t worry, when you become an “adult,” it’s totally fine to fawn over Javier Bardem with your bff but HANDS OFF John Staymoist. OK. Anyway, from time to time, I enjoy doing a little Goog’ to find out what happened to my favorite movie star crush. I usually regret it instantly because most of the time they turned out to be something scary like a tanorexic guido. OH WELL.

My dream mangwich has always consisted of the COOLEST DUDES EVER:

FERRIS BUELLER AND PARKER LEWIS HALLOW FANTASY THREESOME. So obvious for me no? Do they make these guys in real life? Sidebar: this post took me way too long to write because I got caught up in this amazing gallery of Parker Lewis’ funky shirt collection! Thank you Corin Nemec for displaying this so nicely on your website. And pardon me while I add Parker Lewis Can’t Lose Seasons 1 & 2 on my Netflix to reunite with right after my Fast and the Furious marathon (that’s a story for another time.)

Now I’m sure most of the hunks I’ve mentioned were scotch-taped to your lockers, but what about the ones that you were too embarrassed to talk about because they were… “too weird”? And maybe you didn’t realize HOW WEIRD they were until you got older, woke up one day and asked yourself, “Why the f did I daydream so romantically about Egon from the cartoon version of Ghostbusters?!” YES I SAID CARTOON

Another weird one of mine was Doc Brown in Back to the Future. Okay. OBVIOUSLY I have a thing for geniuses, you guys. I did like Steve Martin too…is it the silver foxiness? I must say, none of my oddball crushes can match the one Shaun confessed to me long ago…

That’s right. This mutha told me he was attracted to the DEVIL from Legend. SCARY!!! Because, in his words: “HELLO He has a hot body! Mmm delicious…”

I wish I still had the old Myspace page I had created in the mid 2000′s exclusively for our STRANGE CRUSHES. Everyone had confessed their secret loves! Sadly it is gone. So let’s make new memories of our old memories everyone! Tell me your favorite old school crushes and please include your strange, sick, humiliating ones. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. How can a girl who had schoolgirl affections for none other than Rick Moranis ever throw a sideeye at chu? Nothing but love here on ol’ AL.com, nothing but love….

April 7, 2011   37 Comments

Little Red Riding Hoodrat

lil red riding hoodrat

♥red and black capelet from Urbanog.com, AA skirt, cheapo sunglasses, JC Penney boots♥

This is what I wore to the flea market the other weekend. Hey you guys? When fall comes around again can you PLEASE remind me to be on the lurq for a solid red capelet? Because I realized that’s the type of garment I need in life to pay homage to Wendy the Good Little Witch without having to wear a scary floor length red cloak.

Wendy the Witch

I did happen to score a Wendy tumbler at the flea! FINALLY! I’d always see them at the antique shop and tell myself I was going to start collecting but never did…UNTIL NOW. I also got a yellow petal head scarf that I may have the perfect dress to pair it with.

Let’s just end this brief post with my new (to me) favorite Doll-E song. Whenever I hear this song I imagine myself slow-dancing with the A.C. Slater-dimpled cholo who makes my breakfast burritos. DON’T BE JEALOUS!

Let’s just take another one to go. OMG I LOVE DOLL-E GIRL!!

April 5, 2011   5 Comments

The Agent Lover And Ashe Mischief Slumber Party: Getcha Nails Did

WELCOME EVERYBODY! It’s time to unveil my first post for the Ashe Mischief and Agent Lover Virtual Slumber Party! This week we will be covering all slumber party-related topics such as beauty, boys, and booze! And to any dudes who are reading this, it’s pretty much like that episode of Saved by the Bell when Zack and Screech bug the girls’ slumber party with a tape recorder to find out who Kelly wants to take to prom. Or you can pretend this is an old-fashioned panty raid. AS YOU WISH, but be careful because you might get hoodwinked and accidentally leave with THESE. Anyway first up is my beauty post dedicated to a classic slumber party activity: GETTING YOUR NAILS DID!

When my girlfriends and I get together, we’ll gather all of our nail polish arsenals for a full-on night of ridiculous manicures. This is a serious thing, complete with heavy toolboxes filled with every manicure tool imaginable as well as refrigerators stocked with more nail polish than food. Obviously there ain’t no playin’ around these parts. Look at this erotic pose we did to show off our sexy talons during a recent ladies night in:

sexy nails

Now, I shall share with you my current choices for suitable slumber party nail polish!

Bright, girly colors are my favorite, so the Anchors Away collection from China Glaze is perfect! And nautical-themed nails would be great to try using the red and blue shades. All you need is a good white polish, like China Glaze’s White on White. I’d love to do something like this tutorial I found on I Love Nail Polish soon!

I am LOVING Urban Decay’s Rollergirl collection. Look at those purples and pinks!! GIVE IT TO ME!

And there’s also Katy Perry’s recent line for O.P.I. I love the multi-glitter but it’s very similar to the Burlesque one I have already. The blue glitter is gorge though! Has anyone tried that Shatter stuff on the right? I haven’t tried anything like that since my teen years.

As always, it’s important to have a variety of decals to add a fun little touch to your manicure. Sephora came out with these Hello Kitty decals not too long ago.

Sally carries SO much nail stuff nowadays! You can easily pick up some lil’ fruits for your fingers!

Do any of you ladies have any favorite nailsdid tips you’d like to share? Or are there any specific nail color collections coming out that we should know about? PLE TELL ME EVERYTHANG! Make sure to head over to Ashe’s blog for her post on cute pajammy-jams! And stay tuned for more Slumber Party posts from the both of us all week!

April 4, 2011   15 Comments

My Amy Fisher Article On The Hairpin

The Hairpin posted an article I wrote on the THREE made-for-TV movies about the Amy Fisher/Joey Buttafuoco scandal from the early nineties. Ple lurq it here. Maybe you can make a Long Island Lolita cocktail to drink while you read! It could basically be a Long Island Iced Tea but with a single cherry…

March 31, 2011   1 Comment

See By Chloe Poya Satchel: Let Me Love You

Ah. The See By Chloé Poya Satchel. WE MEET AGAIN. I have such an intense heart-on for this bag I would let it get to second base without even buying me dinner first. Well maybe some Jack in the Box 99 cent tacos, a girl has to have SOME dignity, do she not? This bag is perfect…HOWEVER, you all know I am a dreamer of dreams. My fantasy in general for everything in life is for complete customization. If only I could have this bag in red and make the scalloped trim white, as if a Valentine were carrying my belongings. And of course, secret compartments all over the inside (for my bangs switchblade comb, emergency nuts, etc.) Imagine a Build-a-Bear sort of situation for this but instead build-a-bag!

::dazed smile + faraway look in my eyes::

March 29, 2011   5 Comments

I Would Look Really Cute In These Dresses

DREAM DRESSES

Dear Creatures “Gretal”

DREAM DRESSES
Topshop boat print dress

DREAM DRESSES
THIS RACHEL ANTONOFF DRESS AHHHHH  you know this is my jam

DREAM DRESSES
Samantha Pleet - obviously I’d change that to a red belt

vivetta

AND OF COURSE THESE TWO VIVETTA DRESSES OF MY DREAMS!!!!!!!!

vivetta

March 29, 2011   14 Comments

Love Letters To My Outfits From The Past Few Weeks

Melissa and Mike's Bday

Dear Pizza-Lovin’ Flower Child: Some men may react to this look with renaissance fair jokes, but who cares when there’s PIZZA!!!

♥ failed Legend of Billie Jean viewing/ pizza party outfit: Loulou Loves Lou flower headband, pink lace dress from Le Monde, Rodarte for Target tights, JCPenney boots ♥

SF March 2011

Dear Red Hat Society Reject: You might have left your heart (and Star) in San Francisco but you still have two on your feet so make sure nobody steps on your toes!

♥ SF trip outfit: red jacket – gift, vintage dress, $5 sunnies, AMAZING black tights courtesy of We Love Colors (more on them soon!), old flats that I dazzled up with some SEQUIN HEARTS WACHOW NOW ♥ ♥

Emi's Birthday Party

Dear Red Shoe Diaries: Ahh…I see another pair of red shoes to add to your Hans Christan Andersen obsession. On the Shoe Pyramid/Triangle, these would be pretty high up, but please, be careful…this is definitely Spice Girl ankle twisting territory you are in.

♥ Celebrating my bff’s b-day partytime outfit: Cutie Dynamite heart clip, old lace top, the AMAZING black tights c/o We Love Colors again, floral dress from another chola shop, old heart belt! shoes from Urbanog.com aka my new obsession ♥

polkadot

Dear Princess Of Prints: Ever since someone once told you “Only you could get away with that outfit” when you decided wearing giant raver jeans and a patent leather backless halter top (DON’T BE SCARED EVERYONE) was a good idea in 1999, that sentence has remained in your mind to this day…so of course you wouldn’t think twice about mixing a little floral with a little polka dot. And didn’t you say this was your casual rainy day outfit?

♥ My rainy day-slumber party-M.A.S.H. playing-outfit: Levi’s jacket, thrifted dress, lace top from local cholita store, lavender polka dot tights c/o We Love Colors, boots from TJ Maxx. ♥

March 28, 2011   9 Comments

Two Word Movie Review: Sucker Punch

I suggest that when you finally decide to watch this movie (on Netflix four months from now or on TBS three years later), put it on mute and enjoy the view, because it is exactly what you’d imagine if all the Legs Avenue Halloween costumes were given an action film. I swear I didn’t expect much. You know I am a simple man of simple pleasures. Hot ladies in glittering thigh highs kicking ass is all I thought I’d need! But if an E! reality show has more of an intriguing plot…well that can kill anyone’s boner!

Also, If Jean-Luc Godard said that “All you need for a movie is a gun and a girl”, then Sucker Punch is the Calvin sticker that just peed all over that quote.

Edit: A little bit later, I thought of this review in the shower and posted it on Twitter:

March 27, 2011   20 Comments

Sorry For Not Blogging, I’ve Been On Vacation With My New Boyfriend

javierandmehangingout

Hey my boos! Sorry I’ve been a bit M.I.A. the past few weeks. I fell crazy in love Beyonce-style so unfortunately AL has suffered. Don’t worry though… I shall be back in two twists of a smurf’s nipple!

P.S. Please don’t think I’m tacky and less classy if I come back covered in hickeys!

March 22, 2011   7 Comments

Thrift Tour: Palm Springs Edition

thrifttour

~BELATED POST DISCLAIMER~

A couple of years ago I tried thrifting in Palm Springs but was unsuccessful. Still, it left me even more intent on finding the hidden gems of secondhand clothing shops in this desert paradise. When I visited the Ace in the summer, I went to The Living Desert and lo and behold, a copious amount of thrift stores were spotted on the drive down. JACKPOT! When I went back to the Ace a couple of months ago, it was obviously not tanning weather so we decided to do the next best thing…THRIFT! And because I love chu all, I made a thrifting treasure map so you can embark on your own Palm Springs Thrift Tour!

Start at the Ace and drive for about 20 minutes or so down Highway 111 and you will see TONS of thrift shops. Scattered throughout Coachella Valley are two major resale chains: Revivals and Angel View Thrift. We also found a few scary hole in the wall places (where you could buy bags filled with used panties… Anyone?) but our best luck was at the aforementioned spots.

bluesweater

This weird cobalt blue half sweatshirt/half knit sweater caught my eye right away. I think I’ll add a cluster of brooches à la Karlito and wear it with leggings and my gold pizza earring for a casual weekday, Claudia Kishi-type of vibe.

thrift tour

My childhood fantasies of being an In Living Color flygirl finally became reality as soon as I put on this multi-colored jacket! I swear my hair suddenly turned into a spiral perm and I immediately started talking in a Rosie Perez accent. Little did I know this was only the beginning of many more outrageous jackets to come.

flygirlshello

thrift tour

Leyla scored a set of Time-Life books from the 70′s filled with pictures a Tumblr can only dream about. My favorite photos included these of ladies smuggling booze in their boots and dresses during the Prohibition. GALS AFTER MY OWN HEART.

thrift tour

I told you the jackets were only going to get more majestic during this thrift tour.

thrift tour

Crazy studded purple suede thang. If only I had a matching church hat and a motorcycle to go with it…PURPLE REIGN.

thrift tour

Which one of my lucky friends is receiving this horse vest?

thrift tour

At Angel View there was a great selection of vintage slips. I settled on these two hot pink ones. Love! All in all, we had a pretty good thrift tour and we didn’t even get to all of the shops! Highway 111 really is a paradise for us thrift lovers.

Now as many of you seasoned thrifters know, thrifting is 50% luck and 50% “how can I work this mutha?” so here are a few tips to check yo’self before you wreck yo’self.

  • Be in a relaxed frame of mind because you will definitely need some patience rummaging through these racks of clothes and shelves of tchotchkes.  It can get pretty dangerous out there. The crowds, the smells, the overwhelming sensation of strange hands OMG. You don’t want to have THRIFT RAGE (similar to Road Rage.)
  • Remember to thoroughly check for holes and stains and decide if they could easily be fixed and removed before purchasing. Yes, that cute pastel schoolgirl blouse looks good from here but make sure it doesn’t have YELLOW PITS. I remember when I was in high school during the thrifting prime of the mid 90′s, one of my friends found TOENAIL CLIPPINGS inside one of her thrifted shirt pockets. VOMITROCIA INDEED! So be careful you guys.
  • Wear comfy clothing like leggings and t-shirts you can easily slip skirts and sweaters over to try on since 90% of the time thrift stores don’t have dressing rooms.
  • Be practical about pricing. Thrifting is not as cheap as it used to be so have a budget and know what is worth your wallet. On that note, too bad this work of art was a whopping $95! I would have gladly added it to my collection.

thrift tour

March 9, 2011   15 Comments