It’s time for my Pygmy Picks….STOCKING STUFFER EDITION! So many cute items! Clockwise from top left: Lollipop Pens, Big Chocolate Bar Mirror, 3 Wishes Faux Bones and Teeth Lapel Pin

And if you’re around LA this Saturday, please come to the shop to celebrate Pygmy Hippo’s One Year Anniversary! There will be a 10% discount along with mini-goodie bags with purchases all day long and sweet sodas and tasty treats from 6pm to 10pm. If you spend $50 or more, you’ll get a Pygmy Hippo tote bag! There will also be an in-store and online giveaway on the 17th! If you can’t make it to the shop, make sure to visit the website on Saturday! Read all about it here!

WOO-HOO! And of course yours truly will be moonwalking in the shop all day! Come visit!

As some of you know, my best friend in the whole wide world, Emi, owns a little gift shop in LA called Pygmy Hippo! She’s been getting loads of cute new items in lately so I wanted to share my favorites with you! I’ll be posting my “Pygmy Picks” every Saturday. If you’re ever in the area make sure to stop by and say hello! I might even be in there taking one of my Dressed Obsessed outfit photos! And for those of you who aren’t in LA, Pygmy Hippo also has an online shop where you can find all of these items!

Okay the first minute I saw this Man Eating Tiger Pillow  I knew it was definitely going on the list. How hilarious is this?? Let’s have a closer look….

Isn’t that BRILLIANT?!!? The hippo pillow is just as awesome.

I love LOVE these Felt Forrest Animal Brooches so much that I had to try them on my new pepaw slash Marilyn Whirlwind Northern Exposure sweater…

And for all of you Golden Girls fans (which is basically all of us AND our moms, right?) Do I even have to say anything about why we all need the I Heart The Golden Girls Zine & Post Card ?!?!

And finally, Nostalgia organic soaps and hand lotions! Notice the sweet names too!

You can now also follow Pygmy Hippo Shoppe on Tumblr and Pinterest! (check out her BEAUTIFUL Pinterest…it puts mine to shame!)

Hiiiiiiiiiii. I know I haven’t blogged in one million and twenty-five years and how AUDACIOUS of me to come moonwalking in here like I own the place. You have every right to be mad at me. Roll your eyes, toss your hair, turn your nose up at me!!! It’s fine. Just know that I am looking at you with my Precious Moments eyes and am TRULY SORRY YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND AM FOREVER YOUR GIRL PAULA ABDUL STYLE PLEASE FORGIVE!!!

Anyway, let’s kiss and makeup already because during those million years (see last month) my favorite ginger-headed goddess from across the pond, Loulou, came to visit! We got to spend quality time together AND with my magical HOROSCOPE COMPUTER. This weird contraption, that yes, computes your fortune according to your star sign, was made all the way back in 1979. The first time I saw it was at the flea market but the lady wanted $40 bones so forget chu and ‘ello, Ebay!

This thing is craylarious. First, you can only choose dates that are before 1988 so obviously none of our horoscopes are ‘accurate’ since we all up in 2011. But it makes up for that with a charmingly nerdy 80′s computer-type of sound that emits while calculating the fortune. I will definitely have to record a video of it in action so you can experience this with me. I was doing fortunes via Twitter a while back but perhaps we can do a call-in psychic hotline and I can be Miss Cleo for a day!

Look at this gorge lady!

Methinks I should have purchased this portrait of myself…

Remember when I wanted to write about how much I loved BRUNCH but thought no one would care? But maybe I still will just to spite you ALLLLL! ::Roseanne cackle::

And finally let me leave you with this,

topped off with a little of this…

It is my pleasure to give a SHOUTOUT to the two ladies who actually made crafts of ME for the Simple Times contest. A special thanks must be given to Ms. Dee and Melina Bee for paying attention to my assholia ego’s call for a personalized Agent Lover craft proj. GRAZI FOR HUMORING YOURS TRULY OVA HERE

Ms. Dee made me into a cute lil’ illustrated puppet and Melina sculpted me as a sock puppet!!! Both ladies also included CORN!

Sadly, my jerk Russian hat didn’t choose either of them as winners for the contest, but their hard work shan’t be going unnoticed ’round these parts! As honorable mentions for their ABOVE AND BEYOND work, I will be sending them each a special Agent Lover starter pack. Thanks again m’ladies!

P.S. Next time I hope somebody out there makes me into a MARIONETTE! Or maybe a hand-puppet from the Land of Make Believe in Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. HENRIETTA PUSSYCAT! I want that to be my new Fake Bar Name for 2011.

♥ dress from Nordstrom rack, Betsey Johnson Pollys, Erin Fetherston X Target heart purse, Madame Satan’s School For Girls 666 Kitty necklace, heart and bow rings♥

This weekend I went to the annual Bug Fair at the Natural History Museum, the place where insect collectors and nature nerds meet!

As with tradition I sought out some creepy crawlies to cradle in my arms. First up a lil’ millipede!

I wanted to hold a big one (natural urge) like the African millipede but this one had to do. I like the hundreds of tiny legs and always automatically think of it wearing a mini high heel on each one. IMAGINE

Can you spot the arthropod known as the flamingus cheetous in the center?

ALRIGHT BRACE YOURSELVES. Here I am holding a scorpion which I have never done before. I must admit I was scared. Scared this asshole was going to raise its tail and attack and there was the end of me. Yet, after some convincing by Emi aka the Willard of Insects I wiped the sweat off my brow and held that mutha. I mean, I’ve held scarier things in my hand before.

This is my nervous smile.

Next time I’m sure I’ll have scorpion swagger just like my Asian sistas here. Maybe sport some live arachnid jewelry? Watchew think?

† Check out this interview with Heather of Mono Clothing on Hearty. And if you haven’t read their Fan Death interview yet, check that out too! Probably one of the best features I’ve read about my favorite band!

† Stylecaster has a great interview with Eco-model Summer Rayne Oaks. She’s a fan of Cloven Hoof! Become a fan too!

† Aurel Schmidt’s tees for Opening Ceremony are SICK!! I wanna get the “E” for my BFF and the “Y” for me…wish my name was YARIE.

† I’ve made a personal decision to stop buying Forever 21 and to buy more vintage. Check out the goods at Happy House Vintage helmed by the lovely Betsey J and Stolen Peacock Vintage by Winona of Daddy Likey! Love this dress!

† Seeing Rumi’s posts about Tokyo are making me miss MY HOME so much. I love that upside down world.

† My black tie-dye obsession takes on a whole new direction with this lingerie!!!!

† More of The Runaways film! Great interview with Girl Power‘s Marisa Meltzer talking about it here. (She’s pro-Dakota but they discuss The Fabulous Stains!)

† SHUTCHO MOUF AND GIVE ME THIS PEGLEG ROSE FLORAL GSHOCK WATCH!!

† Okay you guys, I kept crying while watching this for the first time a few weeks ago! What can I say, underneath this bitchface of life, I am a big crybaby. THEY ARE SO SWEET. (It’s one of my favorite Bjork songs too)

Got some links for me to lurk? Lemme know! marie at agentlover.com.

My BFF showed me this really cute mood-lifter of a video! I hope it puts you in a happy mood this weekend! I think of it as a companion video to my favorite feel-good Charo one!

LOVE 2 LOVE U

HAPPY 2010 SEXIES! I pondered long and hard (HELLO) about how I wanted to wrap up ’09. I was initially going to do a year-in-review like I’ve done the past two years, but decided that idea was a snoozefest. It’s all about mixing thangs up for the Oh Ten chu know. Next I decided to give you a mix of my top ten songs of the year! ZZZzzzZZ… ::handjob motion::… everyone was doing that! So THEN I thought, let me flip that idea and get real serious, look you straight in the eye and give you a mix of my own personal, private, top songs from the year!! (Even if they weren’t necessarily songs from 2009.) But I was getting so emotional bb and I didn’t want to subject you to “Little Red Corvette” yet again. SIGH. Finally, I put on my thinking bow and came up with a couple of lists I thought I should share witchu. This first post is (yes this is a two-parter)…

1. TOKYO DELETED SCENE – That crazy first night in Tokyo running around with new friends Jun and Shaula, two of the sweetest and funnest gals/models I’ve ever met. We started the night off at a club where Jun Takahashi built a GRACE doll live while Bounty Hunter’s Hikaru spun punk. It was then followed by some wild goose chase/club-hopping. We spent just enough time at a sleazy Roppongi club to have a total teen movie moment where I stepped out of the restroom and right into an MJ Thriller dance battle. All I needed was Usher Raymond and Freddie Prinze Jr. to make their cameos and join in on the dance floor. At that time, the King of Pop was newly deceased and my dancing chanclas were ready to pay tribute whenever and wherever. After leaving Roppongi and a couple of other failed clubbing attempts, we ended up at Le Baron where I THEN battled a queen decked out in baby blue lederhosen who had Verbal from Terikyaki Boyz in tow. Sadly, Baby Blue Lederhosen beat me in our danceoff since I could not match his upside down crab walk dance and I had to wave my white flag in surrender. WHY I OUGHTA. As the club was closing, we planned to go to a hidden ramen shop but walked outside to shockingly discover it was 5am and we had missed the last call for delishis noodles! Time did not exist on that trip! Do I even have to say it? I miss TOKYOOOO!

2. MY 29th BIRTHDAY! In October I decided to forego a usual LA bar birthday party in exchange for…an SF bar birthday party! We went to Kozy Kar, a bar decorated in a 70′s theme, where I charmed my way out of the crowd and into a waterbed, celebrating life with my favorite San Fran boos including my wifey Star and my middlename twin Mary Van Note. I always have such a great time up north! Loving you AND missing you guys so much!

I also hung out with Rory from Awesome All Day! He really is awesome! I do got one beef witchu Rory, why didn’t we get into any illegalish escapades together? That better have been a warm-up SON!

When I came back I celebrated with my LA crew who showered me with chips and salsa and lots of love and prezzies! Ya spoil me bos, ya spoil me! My friend Kiana painted me on top of a unicorn!

3. STAYMOIST MUG! Also at my LA b-day dinner, Melissa and Levon presented me with Thee John Stamos Mug! It says “HAVE MERCY!” on the back. Obviously the mug needed its own entry on this list. Here it is pictured with a bowl of traditional Filipino sotanghon. If only my lips could grace the REAL Stamos’ sexy mug! SOMEDAY MY WILD STALLION, SOMEDAY….

4. THE MUTANT ORACLE – For my birthday in SF Star got me an X-men tarot card reading by none other than the fabulous Storm! Being an X-men fan I have to say this was by far one of the best presents I have ever received! First of all, it was the most thorough and accurate tarot reading I have experienced, no joke (aside from the non-English speaking lady in Puerto Vallarta ten years ago that freaked me out)! I also pulled a Triple Jean Grey goddess which Storm said was the first time that had ever occurred! DAS RIGHT BAYBEE! If you are in San Francisco, I highly recommending getting your cards read by him!

“I cutchu mang!”

5. DISNEYLAND! – We went to Disneyland earlier in the year to celebrate my boo Emi’s b-day which was a blast!

6. THE NEW MOON PREMIERE – How could I have forgotten to blog about our annual ritual of popsicle-mask making for the Twilight series?? Of course I had to make new ones for New Moon. Poor Jacob and his tiny head. I didn’t have time to find a better picture. BTW, like my ~Edward~ shirt?

7. KID SISTER X MOVING UNITS – A couple of weeks ago I went to the Kid Sister X Moving Units show. I didn’t realize it was a ‘battle of the bands’ type of situation until we got there. I hadn’t heard Moving Units since the Club Bang days of 2005 so I wasn’t sure what to expect! The performers faced each other on two dueling stages, doing interpretations of each others’ songs as well as different versions of their own. Such a fun night!

8. IFB DRESS UP IN NYC! I can’t believe I never posted about this! WHATTA PUTA! I was driving from upstate NY to Brooklyn that same day and wasn’t able to make the soiree until it was pretty late. I was bummed but I’m glad I was able to meet up with some of the gals!

Me and Yoshi!

Gilda, Wendy Brandes, Jennine and me!

9. R.I.P. TAI - My personal tribute to Brittany Murphy. Her death really affected me! She said the line we like to say whenever there is mangs drama..in Tai accent: “If I’m too good for him, how come I’m not with him??”

After Clueless, I followed her trail and remember watching this MTV Diary episode where she was talking about her favorite lip balm which was Dr. Pepper flavor. Being a chapstick addict, of course I had to try it immediately…and it became my favorite lip balm for many years afterward. I always liked Ashton and her as a couple and would constantly watch Just Married. It bummed me out when they broke up. Why was I so obsessed with them? They always looked like they were having a good trucker hat-wearing, Dr. Pepper chapstick-hijinkies kinda time, that’s why. So so sad. When I found out she passed away I went to Target and bought a Dr. Pepper lip balm in her honor.

10. THIS HILARIOUS UGLY ASS PANDA NECKLACE PLATE THING I SADLY DID NOT BUY AT FAIRFAX SWAP

There you have it, my deleted scenes of 2009! Sorry I couldn’t include the telenovelas and the x-rated episodes but a girl has to keep SOME of her mystery. What ended up on your 2009 cutting room floor?

I was writing my Gingerbread House Party post when I came across these old photos from the long gone Santa’s Village theme parks in California (that I would see the commercial for on television all the time but never got to go to. Why mom and dad, why?! MEAN

First I found this set of photos quite endearing and cute!

Then I pulled out my magnifying glass (which I keep in arm’s reach ’cause you just never know what you may stumble upon) and found some frightening things in these pictures..FOR INSTANCE:

GAH!! Ugh so weird!

And look at this, how sweet!

But then look at this photo! That bunny’s evil glare…

And I love clowns but this picture is pretty creepy, even for me!

Look at that cray bitch hating in the back! This looks like it could have some sort of Lifetime movie plot…The Scandal at Santa’s Village.

“Don’t be shy, come inside and throw your keys inside the bowl on the table”

There’s that bunny again. Ugh. Look at him sitting on that pole, having a grand ol’ time. What the F is this place?? A place I wish to go…that’s what.

I’m so mad we don’t have this kind of amusement park anymore.

No comment below.

Here’s the commercial I was talking about. This would play on television so often, I had it memorized. It’s been YEARS since I’ve seen this and watching it felt like I went back in time. I still know the words!

Did any of you California kids ever go to Santa’s Village? What was it like? PS. I HATECHU FYI

Edit: I just got my magnifying glass out again and found at least three more creepy things! How bout you? Take out your monocle and look closely at this shit like an issue of Highlights and tell me “what’s wrong!”

Source: alamedainfo

Best XXXmas present ever. The Cigarette/Lips Hat of my dreams!! Looks like my own lips are on top of my head! Thank you Headmistress! I love you!!! Still can’t believe you fucking made this for me yabetch!!!

And thank you Kristin for showing me the picture that inspired it so long ago! <3