Category — Wanderlust

Emi spotted this umbrella and called me over to peep it while we were shopping in Shinjuku. JAWDROP. Is that an umbrelly made with glamorous acrylic nails????? Simply amazing beyond words. Craft proj, anyone?

AAHH I love it!!!

That’s the one thing we didn’t get to do in Tokyo: get our nails did. We looked into it though, and found a salon that was open ’til 4am. UM YES 4AM I SAYS. That means that shit is still open after bars close in L.A. What kind of dreamland is this Tokyo??? We were planning on going (late after karaoke!) but time and liquor flew and it was pretty pricey anyway. We estimated it would probably cost about $200 to get a sick set of nails done at the venue.$200 for something that lasts only a week or two? HALE 2 THA NO. But then our friend informed us they use special materials and these ferosh Tokyo nails would last a month or longer. REALLY? Kinda crazy.

Photo via La Carmina

Tokyo is the land of nail decor. You can find a smorgasbord of crazy nail decals and accessories anywhere you go. Naturally we stocked up, so you’ll be seeing what types of goodies we acquired in future blog posts!

I ate a lot of interesting things in Tokyo. FYI I’m not a vegetarian, not really a picky eater and above all that I like to be especially adventurous with cuisine while traveling. Even if I may VOM. WARNING: some of these things might make you VOM. Esp if you are a hardcore veggie.

God this beef was SO GOOD

Tonkatsu (pork cutlet with shredded cabbage) See that swoop of mustard? Didn’t know it was going to be so hot and my cheeks started trembling. We agreed it was the most traumatic thing I ate during the whole trip.

Noodles! (think this was Ramen)

Lots of Gyoza

Japanese Curry with Chicken Cutlet

Daikon in various ways (some kind of sea moss or something on the top here?)

Jellyfish (looked like grapefruit and was crunchy)

HORSE (taste was fine but the thought of eating My Little Pony was a bit unnerving)

Cow tongue ( I know you can get tacos lengua here in CA but I have this rule: Do not eat anything I can french kiss. I just imagine this tongue in my mouth swishing around and not in the sexy way. But I tried it anyway and after chewing this rubber for a whole minute and still wasn’t able to swallow it. I was fearful I was just going to spit it out, but I conquered! Eyes were a little watery. Thankfully I had a giant MUG of vodka to help it go down.

And lastly, Nato (fermented soybean with a sticky icky texture, mixed with mustard and some sort of sauce. Baby girl could NOT do this one: reminded me of a scene in Problem Child 2. Props to Emi who said it was similar to gorgonzola)

Now treats to cleanse your eyes…

Cupcakes upon our arrival to Tokyo (thanks Nate!) These were so soft and delicious.

Ramune!!

Cute donuts that came in a variety of toppings and melted in your mouth!!

Ice cream to cool us off at Ghibli! I had banana!

Daikon again! This time with ice cream (I prefer it this way to the sea moss tower)

Oh GAWD cross between an ice cream /snow cone. I’m in LOVE

ahhh let me taste the beers of your country!

My absolute favorite thing I ate in Tokyo. I had the BIGGEST sweet tooth over there btw. Crepes from Angels Heart in Harajuku!

Come to me cheesecake caramel delight!

And now I must go on a diet. Which is hard because you know how I missed me some tacos. Would you eat any of these things? Horse? Jellyfish? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve eaten?

I originally thought I would be live-blogging during my trip to Japan, but I was hardly in my hotel room and having way too much fun to even comprehend that I was indeed, in fucking TOKYO. The trip was planned in a major whirlwind: my friend Nate was going for work, flights were cheap around this time of year, so why the hell not? A flirty notion during a birthday dinner turned into a confirmed flight (um, only $474 round trip??) and das right SON, dis hoodrat and her putana-in-crime, Nate’s gf/my bff Emine’ (who does Cloven Hoof jewelry) , aka the Nisi to my Mickey (You can be Halle Berry because you are blonde Emi. THIS TIME) was about to put on some jet-setting chanclas and journey to the Land of the Rising Sun…

(crazy view from our room!)

It was all a dream, we used to read FRUiTS Magazine…and now we were there. In TOKYO?! SAY WUT? Where Hello Kitty and sushi and karaoke and everything kawaii was born?? We stayed in Shibuya (SHI-BOO-YA!) Unfortunately I didn’t have time to create a customized gold foil headpiece spelling out “Shhh..BOO-YA!” to pay tribute to this (0:33 thank you)… but there’s always tomorrow.

Here I am on the streets of Shibuya wearing a special Burrart airbrushed shirt of ME. Since I have red hair right now, it wasn’t too much of an asshole move because you couldn’t recognize it was me immediately..or does that make it EVEN MORE OF ONE? Anyway, I love the shirt so much. Pictures do NOT do it justice (not just saying that because it ME again I SWEAR) Have you gotten anything done yet by Diane btw?? If you do PLEASE send me a pic! I’d love to see what magic she makes for you!

• glasses – Metropark
• one mansion-sized gold doorknocker earring (the other one was hurtin’!)
• customized airbrushed shirt – Burrart Design
• skirt – American Apparel
• denim jacket – Converse
• bag- Betsey Johnson
• black moccasin booties – $5 at a local shop!

One of the places we visited was the Ghibli Museum (My Neighbor Totoro and Spirited Away) Sadly pictures were not allowed inside but I did snap a pic next to this giant robot!

When we were leaving, we noticed a large map of Inokashira Park where Ghibli was located… ARE THOSE SWAN BOATS I SPY??!!

The wheels in my head started turning as I thought: finally… I can recreate one of my favorite pictures of Bjork laying upon a pink swan…BEAUT!!

We walked up to the dock, paid 700 yen and were greeted by two menz.. then when I realized we had to pedal?!?  the swan boats… ourselves?!? the look on my face was apparently priceless, according to Emi. SCOOS ME for thinking this was going to be a romantic gondola type of situation!! (Guess I didn’t look at that map quite clearly.) Slapstick naturally ensued after a big cartoon-voiced “GULP” and beads of sweat formed on my brow. “We can’t swim! What if we fall out!” My Secret Vanilla Chai deodorant was hard at work due to thinking we were going to be swallowed alive by giant koi fish and after pedaling in two large circles we made our way back to civilization.

AHH! THE SLAPSTICK LIFE!! Well. It was beautiful!

Stay tuned for lots more about my Tokyo trip!

See, don’t we look like an ICEE?

BFF Karaoke + Morning After Saved by the Bell + Cotton Candy Ice Creams =  best Bon Voyage Party before I go to fucking TOKYO!!!!!

YA READ DAT RIGHT SON!! I know mang, it’s bananas and pretty much a whirlwind wanderlust dosage and I’m still tripping that I’ll be in Hello Kitty’s homeland in about 2.2. Expect liveblogging from inside of a gawtdamn cartoon world ’cause that’s how I imagine it will be. At least the way I plan on doing it. I CAN’T DEAL. I barely have had any time for my brain to register the fact that I’m actually going, and unfortunately I have to postpone putting up the cake hats up for purchase. I’m sorry boos!

Hopefully A.C. “Absolutely Charming” Slater can make up for it??

Jesus playing the guitar??

Sorry if I killed any boners looking like the Filipino female Jack Black in that disguise.

Have any of you sexykins been to Tokyo? PLE DEW let me know if there is something specific I should see! (Donchu know Puroland is already at the top of that list MOMMA!)

So I totally forgot to tell you about Coachella. Reason is probably because there wasn’t too much to tell! I followed my own advice and went after sundown, on the first night, just in time to catch Morrissey complain about the smell of BBQ and see a little bit of LOL McCartney. Everyone I wanted to see (Beirut, Girl Talk, Crystal Castles) played in Moz’s time slot. I didn’t even make it to the other side! I basically hung around the main stage and the beer gardens. And I can’t even do a simple Coachella outfit post because STU ME forgot my camera battery! So all I have is this phone pic of Thelma and Louise. SAW-RE!

Now the rest of the weekend was a lovely Palm Springs vacay. HEDONISM III.
ESCOOS ME. IMELDA MARCOS IS HERE

cochina puta alert cochina puta alert

SNUGGIE WIZARDRY!!!

And of course, the trip gave birth to my new webcomic, Sanders & Sanders.

Nothing beats a nice lil getaway with the BOS!

I spent several days in San Francisco to celebrate New Year’s Eve with my cohort-in-rojo, Miss Star St. Germain. I had only decided to go a week or two before…but last minute adventures involving Star and I seem to be a recurring theme, so I should stop fronting.

First off, I love San Francisco. I am still toying with the idea of moving there. And although I always had concern with the dismal weather (WHATTA BABY), I should be more concerned with turning into a full-fledged alchy! I’m already enough of a lush as it is, but here in Southern California we have to drive our asses everywhere. When we RAGE, we have to crash or flip a coin to be designated driver. So basically what I’m saying is FU SF’ers with your no cars and public trans. And FU too NY’ers ’cause that shit is the same over there! I’m just jealous because I have a huge car payment and crazy insurance and you guys are having cocktails every night. Maybe I will just move there and become an alchy. I would AbFab all over the place and you know this! GAWD. I hate all of you. Someone get me a job there already, I will just buy some new coats.

RAGE COLLAGE:

So I arrived the morning of New Year’s Eve, which was later spent running around to various parties. First we stopped at the wonderful Violet Blue’s house, where we reported live from the blogger bungalow. Us with the lovely ladies, Violet Blue and KumiMonster.

Later we ran around with Chaki and caused more trouble. Somehow in the night’s blur, I lost my hat that Dizzy Von Damn! made for my birthday a couple years ago. But a good NYE it was. At some point, a night was spent attending a toga party where I discovered the hottest new trend for all of us fashionistas…ROMAN SHIN GUARDS.

Gold heels + gladiator fashion = Hot New Shit for Oh-Nine, boo. You better work. See, this diva is not even fucking around. She is like,” Gladiator sandals? Bitch please, that is nothing. I am going all out in Roman armor to bring that trend full circle.”

Should Star and I open up a bar called “Clocks N’ Booze?” Because it’s always time to get your fade on, SON.

We then made shirts at Bang On to put ourselves on blast and wore them during our photoshoot with Kristin of Design That Kills…whom I LOVE. I’m so glad I finally got to meet her! She is a stylish gal with incredible taste and also an amazing photographer. I can’t wait to hang out with her again. Here is a cute valentine that Star made and a collage she did of some of the shots!

And the video she edited!

Design That Kills Photoshoot with Agent Lover from Star St.Germain on Vimeo.

Excuse the fifty-thousand mentions of the word “awesome” by yours truly. I was just so excited, people.
Look how good Kristin made me look!

Oh SF how I love you so hard. I miss Star so much! ‘Til we meet again my scarlet sister!

PS. Only a down ass chick will harmonize a ‘lil Tina T. on the fly witchu…

Untitled from Agent Lover on Vimeo.

I spent the weekend in San Diego again, this time at the Hard Rock which was SO much fun. Joan Jett helped me with my first outfit photo. This is what I wore on our little road trip down.

{Details}:

• forever 21 necklace
• red cardigan..local store
• target belt
• luella for target skirt
• black tights
• chinese slipper mary janes – downtown ventura

That old Luella for Target skirt is so tore up. It is about two sizes too big for me, was already missing two buttons, and by the time we got to the hotel another button fell off. I had a fantasy of it bursting apart like Zapped! but it unfortunately didn’t happen.

I’ve got a meeting in the ladies room. GAH!

{Details}:

Nubby’s red lipstick tee
black skirt and belt – H&M
red tights – Urban Out
black knee highs – Target
chinese mary janes – downtown Ventura

Last week I stayed at the W Hotel, which was very nice. I do like the Hard Rock better though. If you are looking for something hip and chic, yet more kick back, the W is for that. The beds were like fluffy marshmallow clouds (I MISS THAT BED!), the showers were very nice (super soft water) and it felt like I was staying inside of an iPod. The Hard Rock was comfortable too but it’s definitely the place to go if you want to party. It’s sexy, seductive and perfect for RAGIN’. However, if you are shy about the following: dooking and being naked, then it might not be the place for you to lay your weary head. The bathroom was right in the middle of the room with not-so-discreet glass doors that hide no sound.

Everyone will watch and hear you pee.

But you will watch them like a nerd ghost waiting in the wings…

That’s creepy and sick, I’m sorry.

Also I’d like to apologize for that weird ass video I posted…while drunk. WTF?! We were arguing about UB40 which is already lame first of all, secondly, Hex was thinking “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” was called “Fools Rush In”, which is an entirely different song so we were both confused. HOWEVER that actually proves I wasn’t really wrong after all. YAY. Right?!? Anyway, I will promise to only blog when I am in the right frame of mind from now on…IF YOU’RE LUCKY.

Das righ.

On the most recent episode of DYNASTY, your heroine Agent Lover takes a whirlwind trip to New York City where she encounters the colorful creatures known as The Ladybloggers as well as enormous quantities of sugar.

I have never met anyone with a sweet tooth bigger than Lola’s. This girl, who was kind enough to be Star and my New York City hostess, is so fucking amazing. She explained to me the scientific link between scent and memory. Some of you might know how obsessed I am with that phenomenon. Sadly, I tried relaying the info when I was in Hollywood after the trip to a couple of my girlfriends… and that was a complete failure. I was basically playing charades and making up words. Lola, I will need you to explain it to me again so my friends don’t think I’m crazy (any moreso than usual.)

At Strawberry Fields in Central Park, we witnessed the nuptials between Gala Darling and Nubby Twiglet. Star officiated the ceremony with rings provided by Princess Poochie!

I felt the perfect wedding accessories for the brides would be one of my tacky corsages! (Big love to my bff Reyna for helping me assemble these at midnight the night before I left.) Nubby got a Michael Jackson one while Gala was presented with a Biggie Smalls wristlet. So glad you are a Biggie girl as well. We don’t need no Tupac beef up in here.

The lovely Princess Poochie and I. Girl wtf is up with that shoe collection! You are all Imelda Marcos’ing more than I ever can be! JEALOUZ!

Nubbycakes

Star looking like she’s ready to attack me! (Photo by Bianca Alexis)

Gilda I love you!! Hello Miss Adorable and a half!!

I really hate how quickly time passed. I really didn’t get to talk to everyone as much as I wanted to.  “There’s not enough time, never enough time!” (cue Jessie Spano here.) After two hours at a shindig, you’re only just beginning to loosen up, you know? (Especially when sober. Man, I sound like the biggest alchy you guys. I’m sorry. No I’m not.)

Annie and I!

Annie Dangerpaws showed up to the party and it was the happiest surprise! She is one of my favorite Flickr pals. Her polaroid screenshots boggle my mind, they are so good! I wasn’t sure if she was serious about coming to find me. You know how we all like to make jokes on the internets about coming to find each other and all. So I left her a clue on Flickr thinking if she was really serious, she would understand. And she did!!!! This was her clue:

My outfit for the party was a blue Betsey Johnson dress I scored for only fitty doll-hairs! LADIES, I have discovered a secret. The Betsey Johnson outlet during fashion week is the place to be. They were trying to get rid of their last season dresses with a “Buy One, Get One Free” type of sale. Umm..HELLO! That was a nice surprise.

A long time ago I bought this big bow hairclip from Hollywood Toy and Costume and finally wore it! It matched the blue of my dress perfectly. When I bought it, it was attached to a crusty old barrette and lavender hairnet that was probably from the 80′s. I ripped that shit off and stuck it on a big black flower clip for some quick stylist action. Here is a closeup taken by Miss Poochie:

Nubby and I posin’ for you.

I love that ruffled Richard Chai for Target blouse I’m wearing here. When Star and I were out getting a drink, some thuggish ruggish bone gave me “the eye” so I gave him “the eye” back “for fun” and then he goes…”GOSSIP GIRL XOXO” What the f!! How he know that! How he know that!! Goddamn.

Exercising at the Hotel on Rivington with the ladies:

I swear this is the calmest looking Corn I have ever seen. Perhaps it is because Corn’s previous hosts were already knee-deep in enough booze to drown a small child by the time they donned the kernel whore suit. Did you know “whore suit” is one of my favorite phrases? My friend Nicki says it originated from a movie starring Clint Eastwood, who is…FUN FACT ALERT: who I would have been named after if I were to have been born a dude. But I digress…introducing Nubby Niblet!

After the cornsuit-clad bed jumping, I was ready to do a bit of NYC RAGIN’ before I had to go to the airport…at 7am. The newlyweds were too pooped to get in on some liquor-fueled hijinks with Star, Gilda and I, but luckily Miss Gea Philes came ready to rock n’ rawl. Gea is the artist responsible for the paperdoll and other cartoon Maries you see on the site. I finally met her in person! Can’t wait til she comes to the west coast and meets my homegirls. It will undoubtedly be a wild time.

Star and I briefly stopped in this hidden speakeasy type of place called The Back Room for a drink. I like the whole serving booze in teacups gimmick. She had a gin drink called “The Girl Friday” (yay!) and I had a ….”Velvet Hand” (some of you, please make glove thief jokes now.)

Star is my gal! I love our adventures together.

I don’t think I can ever do another just 40 HOURS IN NYC again. It gave me blue balls because there wasn’t time to do anything and I love it there! No time to visit my favorite haunts, hunt down that custom macaroni and cheese restaurant, prowl for hottie menz, do some choppin’. I didn’t even have time to buy Reyna an I <3 NYC baby tee so she had to settle for a Bluto Pez dispenser. Sorry boo! Oh New York, I wanna come back to you and do you right, do you right!

I’ve been listening to a lot of Interpol this week. Gets me so hot. Also reminds me of NYC because the first time I went there in 2005 I saw Carlos D at The Dark Room. Delishis.
So addicted:

Interpol – “Pace is the Trick”

xoxo!

I wish someone would invent a kind of machine that would scan Polaroids so you wouldn’t have to go through that whole ‘scan, crop, rotate, crop more, stand back, save as and repeat’ routine. Or maybe just a robot to do it. Or maybe I am just a lazy asshole. Anyway, I finally have the Polaroids from Madonna Inn uploaded and ready for viewing. The good ones at least.

I brought four Polaroids cams with me that weekend. My trusty Sun 660, which is the most common and simple out of all my cameras, yet it has also produced my favorite pictures. My Spectra, which didn’t get too much usage since I prefer shooting with it outside and playing with the filters. My Holgaroid, which is also best for outside use, and my SLR 680, which also unfortunately didn’t get too much play. It’s just so simple to grab the Sun 660 when there is complete chaos going on!

Let us peruse together shall we? Let me make you a mimosa…

Dizzy Von Damn! and Robyn Von Swank looking SEXY 4 U

Nikki!!

and Nicki!

A couple of Miss Von Damn..

This is a Polaroid that Shaun took of Joz and Dizzy Von Damn. So HOT!

The next morning, Shaun, Robyn and I went to the pool for a morning swim. The Holgaroid was perfect for it.

Majestic!

Glorious!

Why HELLO THERE

On the way back home, I forced everyone to make a quick stop in Solvang, the land of mystical delight, so I could venture back to the store I like to call “Jody’s” but is really “the store that time forgot,” where I had found outdated 90′s clothing during the first trip. This time, Jody’s failed me and I was flabbergasted! I tried on a red and blue elastic-waisted jumper as well as a red and black shoulda-padded business suit number but no such luck. DAMN YOU JODY! I will do fifteen-hundred jumping jacks and come back to you my tacky, tacky Solvang love. So instead we had treats and Polas.

YAY! Welcome to Solvang!

So I have this idea (DON’T STEAL IT) of writing a script called “Solvang, Land of Wonder and Mystical Delight” in the key of my favorite show Wonderfalls. Basically it will be about a small tourist town where unexplained phenomena is experienced by one girl who lives there. Okay, so it really is just Wonderfalls part 2. Man, I miss that show.

Actually this show you are watching right now is called “Marie and a Giant Lollipop.”

ICE CREAM IS GONNA SAVE THE DAY

Goodbye Sweet Solvang! Until we meet again…

Muscles – “Ice Cream”