Hey sexies. You know what I finally realized? I’ve become one of those “wine people.” WINE PEOPLE. Someone who would rather enjoy a nice glass of wine over any other kind of alcoholic beverage. And none of this 2 Buck Chuck eitha. Don’t roll your eyes at me! I AM 31 now and my days of reciting a whole Catholic mass in a Jameson-induced haze have been put to rest! I AM A MATURE & CLASSY LADY THESE DAYS. Well…at least when it comes to enjoying this adult grape juice anyway. A couple weeks ago, I went wine-tasting in Santa Ynez like us mature, classy people do. This is what I wore.

♥ Sunflower patterned dress from H&M, tights courtesy of We Love Colors, Urban Outfitters wedges, Lulu Guinness purse. ♥
These wedges are pretty legit. If I can comfortable walk around Santa Ynez all day in a pair of shoes they will get my co-sign.

I’ve had this cute lil’ Lulu Guinness purse for a loooong time. (BBD = Before Blogging Days.) It felt right with this outfit even though grapes would make more sense with the day’s theme.

One of the first places we visited was Gainey, where we got a tour of the vineyards. I loved learning about the process of wine-making. IT’S SO KEWL. Obviously at some point I daydreamed of having my own winery where you’d see me in the distance sidesaddle riding a horse, while dressed in flowing whites and Kate Bush’s “Wuthering Heights” automatically playing as I’d appear, also somehow surrounded in lens flare…It would be truly magical.

One of the places I loved was Saarloos and Sons. They do a wine and cupcake tasting.  These teeny tiny cupcakes were INCREDIBLE. Each one went with a certain wine. I was in heaven.

Another one of my favorite places we visited for a tasting was Sort This Out in Solvang. Pinup girls on the bottles. Super cute!

Can’t wait to go back!

Continuing with my new tradition, here are my Instagrams from September! This pic was from the Gradient Nail Tutorial I did for Rookie, and in case you missed it, here’s the post I did on Mean Girl Movie Style.

♥ Both me and my buttocks miss moonbathing naked under the Big Sur sky…at least I can gaze at these photos and look forward to my return. ♥

♥ I still have my unicorn sheets from when I was 8! ♥

♥ On the way to Big Sur, we stopped for lunch at my spiritual place, Madonna Inn; stocking up (~NPI – NO PUN INTENDED~) for fall with tights from We Love Colors! ♥

I will consider this my accidental art piece: Deep Thoughts And A Big Banana. Also a good name for a p-no somewhere, I’m sure.

♥ Ain’t nuthing like a fresh cup of Hunkules to jumpstart my morning; Can you believe I got these John Staymoist stickers made in 2005? I truly am a ride or die chick for you Stamos!; I’m pretty sure poliopoliopolio is my brother from anotha mutha. He sent me this New Mutants pin!; when I stocked up on candy to review for Rookie I saw this CORN SODA. You guys can all buy me a bottle for my birthday next week thnx ♥

♥ Trader Joe’s is on some serious TOSCANO CHEESE GAME right now. This one is dipped in syrah. I thought the typical nailsdid pose would be great to show off my block o’ heaven as well. ♥

♥ Mr. Shankly’s cabeza looks crazy cartoon-y huge next to Mason’s!; my friends had a balls-themed BBQ. Cochinos. Super delishis though.; the Tom Kha soup at Nakkara is my fave. Especially because it comes in this urinal-looking thang.; Levon and I playing with Leyla’s iPad! It was my first time touching one.. OMG. ♥

On that note, I would also like to say RIP to Steve Jobs. I have a special thanks for the man that invented the iPhone WHICH also helped rid me of the weird driving anxiety I had for YEARS. Sorry 2 B so dramatic sounding my boos, but it’s true! Once I got an iPhone and used that Google Maps GPS app…LAWD MY LIFE DUN CHANGED!! No sense of direction + constantly driving on the freeways of southern Cal = panic attacks for Rie Rie. I’ll never forget that Steve! And on THAT note, I ordered the iPhone 4s today! You have no idea how stoked I am. I have had this dinosaur 3G for more than three years! She and I have been through so much…but I like my phones like I like my cars like I like my women…FAST. Cannot waaaaaaiiiiit.

DAS RIGHT MI AMIGOS. I was straight chillin’ in the forest! I took a spiritual quest up to Big Sur with a couple of my friends to bond with Mama Nature (dat girl is CUHRAZY!), soak in some healing hot springs underneath a full moon and find me a lumberjack husband. It was seriously one of the best trips ever. During the trip, one of my friends said it was the most romantic thing she had ever done for herself and I felt the same way. I’ve been feeling really positive and happy lately and going to Big Sur was kind of like a cherry on top/pat on the back/high five to it all. (A big LOVE AND THANKS BURRITO goes out to Elizabeth for being my Big Sur guide!)

This outfit is a total SHAM because as much as I like to joke, I really am no DIVA OF THE FOREST like Phyllis Nefler!!! After taking some shots, I quickly changed into my Paula Bunyan uniform. I just can’t lie to you babys.

Okay maybe I’m a tiny bit like Phyllis but also like Miss Troop Beverly Hills herself, I soon became one with the earth and a true Wilderness Girl. PS. Next time I go to the forest I WILL be in a beautiful khaki cape with gold trim!

♥ Vintage dress from Polkadots and Moonbeams, KimChi Blue shoes, knee socks in Hunter Green courtesy of We Love Colors ♥

Look at this asshole walking around the woods in wedges. So glad a bear didn’t come out and chase me or I woulda been in trouble!

Last weekend a few of my friends and I went to the Ace Hotel in Palm Springs for a lil’ winter vacay. Unfortunately the weather turned out to be straight biblical so it was quite a difference from the last time I was there. Remember how last week LA was struck with 80 degree weather and I was prancing around like a bare-thighed asshole? Well YOU DUN GOT ME GOOD because it’s been raining nonstop for almost a week now and I have horrible seasonal affective disorder so I’m majorly depressed. I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY NOW. JK. Hold me! I can’t take these grey skies like the rest of you gothics do! ANYWAY…

♥ checkered I Heart Ronson shirtdress, purple kneesocks from Target, JC Penney boots, Cloven Hoof seahorse necklace, coat courtesy of Fred Flare ♥

Luckily we had one day of sunshine while we were there, hence my bare thighs again, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

After a day of thrifting we went to the Parker for drinks and hammocking.

I brought some records to listen to in our room at the Ace! I think I am going to screencap Baby Doll soon btw.

xoxo,

I could have titled the final installment of my Palm Springs Diaries: Only WE Would Go To A Zoo In The Desert, but I thought The Day I Almost Fainted would have more of a dramatic effect and a juicy plot. Emi and I thought it would be fun to go to The Living Desert, which is a zoo in nearby Indian Wells aka Indian Hell because it ended up being TOO HOT EVEN FOR ME (Cleopatra.) I still have yet to experience a real SoCal summer this year due to this weird ass January weather. Didn’t I complain about this thirty times already? (Sidebar as I type this, I am looking outside at the whiteout DRIZZLIN’ sky. Where am I, Seattle? HATECHU!) Anyway, I was all the more ready to “embrace the heat”…until I had a case of the dizzies in this DESERT JUNGLE and was afraid I was going to face plant into a cactus. Thank gawt I didn’t otherwise poor Emi would have to “Weekend at Bernie’s” me outta there.

This dress is from Charlotte Ronson’s collection for JC Penney. You know how I have loved me some Penney’s in the past. This dress is so pink and playful. It’s like Saved by the Bell, Kelly Kapowski print on the top with a pink and white floral skirt (my fave.)

Here is a magical gif of me taking down my long luxurious Rapunzel locks for your pleasure.

I’ve passed by this cute elephant sign many times on the way to Coachella and finally got to take a picture!

I should note that we ate at the original Native Foods twice while we were in Palm Springs. It’s this amazing vegan restaurant that has a few locations in Southern California. There is only one in LA for now but hopefully that will change soon. We even met the founder, Chef Tanya!

When we left beautiful Palm Springs we stopped to see the Cabazon Dinosaurs as per tradition. The Cabazon dinos were made way back in 1975 as a way to attract attention to the nearby cafe. But in the 90′s, the property was turned into a Creationist musuem, making poor Dinny and Mr. Rex (the dinosaurs) accessories to some religious propaganda.

But to Rie-Rie, this place will ALWAYS remind her of the glorious Fred Savage movie, The Wizard. “Califooornia!”

The wind was blowing so hard, even my bangs were no match against it. Imagine if I had a bangs helmet for these types of situations?

Closeup of my Mr. T hands. I will do a post on my rings addiction soon. PITY THE FOOL

Like I said in the previous post, Joan Collins’ book, MY SECRETS was the official bible of this particular trip. It was a good alternative to the trash mags I brought for us to enjoy during our tanning sessions. Even though fresh celeb gossip is available to us 24-7 via the internet these days, nothing beats reading from a good gossip rag (The Enquirer, Star, US Weekly are lifetime faves) held in your very own hands. Related sidebar: I knew Rosie O’ Donnell was a lesbeyonce way before she came out of the closet because I saw a picture of her riding a motorcycle with her girlfriend holding tightly onto her back in The National Enquirer!!! Anyway, I digress…

My Secrets by Joan Collins (aka all-time best betch Alexis from Dynasty) came out in 1994 but can be very useful almost two decades later. The book is a collection of Joan’s personal pro tips on health, beauty, fashion, exercise and even yo’ attitude. It also features the most amazing photographs of Joan throughout her career.

A few of my fave tips so far…

+ “Three Bags. the best quality you can buy. All black, one Chanel style shoulder bag with the gold chain which is classic and definitely here to stay. One small clutch for evening, restaurants, theatre, etc. and one ‘tote’ type for office, travel and everyday. I hate cheap bags, and, like the women of Italy and France I would rather have one good one than lots of cheapos.”

+ “Don’t Look at a photograph of Kim Basinger in a pink Lycra dress and buy one, thinking that you’re going to look just like her.”

+ “Being ‘well dressed’ means different hings to different people. To a teenager it mean her special battered jeans, baseball cap and a T-shirt with a slogan scrawled all over it. To a glamorous young model or actress who is into grunge, it could mean trendy layered rags, a floral dress with Doc Martens or the dandy look.”

+ “Getting older should not carry a stigma. It should be a badge people wear with pride and dignity. With each year that passes, we should achieve more, and if we take proper care of ourselves, there is nothing to stop us looking and feeling our optimum best.”

+ “Tanning your skin is without any shadow of a doubt the worst thing you can do to it.” GULP

HAY JACKIE!!!! There’s her signature leopard print!!!

Kirsten Dunst eat your Antoinette heart out

A day without a glorious wig is a day without sunshine

Oh Joan, I thank thee for sharing your tips on how to live my fabulous life. I think you’ve given me inspiration to write MY OWN BOOK OF SECRETS! IMAGINE. Would any of you read it?

The room we had at the Ace was perfect for two ladies who came to Palm Springs primarily to LOUNGE. It reminded me of camp. We called it The Clubhouse.

This was our comfy girly area to read mags, talk shit, watch tv and CHILL OUT. I’m telling you it was a REAL vacation where I didn’t have to do nuthin’!! BLISS.

One of the best things about the rooms at the Ace is they have these hooks where you can hang random things and clip your photos on. I forgot to bring picture of Sir Staymoist to hang! BLASPHEMY! I did bring one of Emi’s weird crush though. Not sure if she wants me to divulge who tickles her ladyboner but his name rhymes with Dickey Bjork. SAWRE EMI. You can spot our matching fruit bags (made by Emi) and (a part of) her extensive headband collection.

11 pairs of shoes between the both of us…for basically 48 hours. Ridiculous to some, but POLLY HEAVEN to those who are in the know.

Dress Obsessed!

When we unpacked it looked like we were setting up shop so we started taking snapshots like two nerds with nothing better to do (until we started tanning.) Emi shares my love of accessories so I never feel like a whore-der around her. THANK GAWT I AM NOT ALONE! Also thank heavens for this Joan Collins (sister of our fairy godmother Jackie of course) book I brought to be our bible for the trip.

Eye of the Beholder rosette from Cloven Hoof, Emi’s jewelry line. Lurk the new lookbook!

Cloven Hoof beetle wing earrings that I can’t stop wearing, cake ring that Emi made me, other various fashion and vintage rings of mine. One of these days I will take pictures of my actual jewelry box/closet/U-Haul so you can SEE IT ALL

Peep my new FAVORITE Cutie Dynamite hair decor! The sequined hearts barrette is KILLA. Look for my interview with Cutie Dynamite soon. You can also spot my fave gold Fred Flare glasses…and about a billion other sunglasses.

Cloven Hoof beetle brooch, ello lil’ guy!

We got our nails did nearby where I also discovered my new favorite polish…”VIKINI GREEN.” What the hales is a vikini? I hope it’s some sort of inside joke among the alchemists who mixed this magical nail potion. UGH I LOVE IT

HAY YOU GUYS! I just returned from a mini-vacay to beautiful PALM SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA!!! Emi and I took a Thelma and Louise road trip to the desert and stayed at the SUPER COOL Ace Hotel and Swim Club!

In the lobby we were greeted by music playing on a record player(I peeped an Andrews Sisters vinyl!) and what might be the best photobooth I have seen in my life! The pictures come out in an old-school sepia tone and the machine takes credit cards! MOMMA LIKE

We enjoyed some marinated feta and couscous salad at the hotel’s roadside diner, King’s Highway. I’m wearing one of my adorable new hair bows courtesy of Cutie Dynamite! You’ll be able to see a better picture of it later in this Palm Springs Diaries series. Yes “SERIES” because in between our numerous outfits and obsessive photo taking, I wouldn’t be able to fit it all into one post.

A  for Agent Lover but chu know you can call me AL.

On Monday evenings, the hotel offers SISSY BINGO hosted by Linda Fabulous who belts out dirty Broadway ballads. We saw her perform a song which was something like “Who Do You Have To Fuck In Hollywood?” COCHINA!!!! Betty White better watch her back…

A warning…there are some SERIOUS Bingo players in there, notably older ladies and gents who probably attend on the regular. I was the A-hole who yelled out Bingo too early (SAWRE I HAVE NOT PLAYED SINCE MY YOUTH) and got a few death stares from some of the Bingo elite! Luckily their drinks were amazing and cooled down my red cheeks. My favorite was the ‘Desert Facial’ which is made up of muddled cucumber, mint, and pineapple vodka. Dis lush gives it an A ++.

The Ace also lets you ride their bikes around the town. If you guys remember, I have some sad childhood bike trauma but was stoked on attempting to ride for the first time in twenty years! Sadly I wasn’t as successful as I had hoped. Next time will be better once I have a lowrider and I’m not wearing Pollys!

Stay tuned for more of my Palm Springs Diaries!

One of my favorite ladies, La Carmina, recently went to my spiritual homeland of Tokyo to film a segment for CNNGo’s travel show…and wore one of my Petite Cake Hats for the shoot! HOW CUTE IS SHE!!

Photo via lacarmina.com

Read more about it here, watch the clip below and check out more of La Carmina for Gothic Lolita and Tokyo kawaii goodness.

I MISS TOKYOOOOO!!

After the wild celebratory night we went for a stroll among the dead at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. It had been a long time since I visited the grounds during the day and not on a Cinespia night.

There were beautiful peacocks strutting around like Vegas showgirls.

PARDON ME, HERE IT IS (I really did do that by accident)

HEEEEEEEY LITTLE GIRL I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND

Someone left white plastic fangs at Vampira’s grave so I took the black ones I had in the sunglasses holder in my car (YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU NEED ‘EM) and left them there too.

I bought this hat on a stand in Harajuku when I went to Tokyo last summer. It reminded me of the hat the girl wears in The Lover aka L’amant. It’s about the affair of a young French lolita and a rich Chinese man. TABOO AND SEXY