Category — Mi Vida Loca

Happy Thanxgiving my boos! FIRST OF ALL, I need Marilyn’s outfit in that picture HALLOW!! Everyday I am thankful for: chips and salsa, John Stamos, pizza, Dexter, Tokyo, knee socks, Mr. Shankly, peter pan collars, 80′s movies, bespectacled men, “Wild Women Do”, Swedish people, having perfect bangs, gin, Jameson, Grey Goose, room service, Prince’s frankenflops, cleavage, avocados, starry skies, familia, boos, when people accidentally fart while laughing, and especially YOU for reading my blog! Hope you all are having a very happy day. And good luck tomorrow if you decide to fucks with Black Friday. OH HALES.

UGH YOU GUYS. I am so stoked to have a new pair of glasses finally! ESPECIALLY because they were F-R-E-E! Lately I’ve been sweating bullets because I only have one pair of contacts left and I’m worried something scary might happen… like the time my contact popped out during a sexy romp and it got lost in the sheets (true story)! I was so scared I was going to have to do a Cyclops walk of shame with one blind eye! Anyway, luckily I now have these backup spectacles just in case something like that happens again. Coastal Contacts.com had this crazy promotion last week where you could get a FREE PAIR OF GLASSES and only have to pay shipping!!! At first I was suspicious and figured we’d all get hoodwinked and they would end up being mini glasses like the ones seen on this priest bear:

But I was wrong! The promotion was FOR REAL and my super cute spex just came in! Luckily for the rest of you poor-visioned folks, they are bringing it back on Thursday, Nov 18! Just make sure you have your prescription and get the code here! PLE ENJOY

All by the amazing gingergoddess of my life, Robyn Von Swank.

SORRY for that PZZY TEAZE I gave you in the last post about rising from the ashes like Jean Grey and being ready for Blogtober, then disappearing again like an asshole. I hate blueballs as much as the next dude so shame on me for sassing you up and leaving you in the cold. What can I say? Real life got crazy for a minute there, blogging became a chore and Rie-Rie can’t do something if her gut isn’t into it. HOWEVER, something magical happened…MY BIRTHDAY! And not just any ol’ b-day but my DIRTY FLIRTY THIRTY. I know that sounds crazy since my asian genes make me look like I’m still barely legal but it’s true, here I am, a real live woman! WILD WOMEN DEW AND THEY DON’T REGRET IT

So what did I do to celebrate my quinceneara times two? I gathered my sexy besties for a weekend romp at my favorite hotel in the world…Madonna Inn! I had the time of my life with my boo crew even though it was raining and my Scandinavian crush ALEKS wasn’t working there anymore. Actually I don’t even know if he was even Scandinavian and he probably didn’t spell his name like that, but I MISS YOU ALEKS. As for the weekend’s activities, it was basically a huge cochina slumber party complete with girl-bonding, booty-clapping, Saved by the Bell trivia game, a lil’ bit of Ouija, a whole lotta booze and a memorable game of Truth or Dare. And of course picture-taking! Fancy ones will come later but here are some of my favorites. (BTW, if you are wondering, everything I wore was vintage.)

The angels that are employed by Madonna Inn gave me balloons matching either my dress or my nails. It’s the little things that will get you a 5 star Yelp review from me, BAYBEE.

Nikki got me this California Raisins SUIT

I shall now leave you with these spellbinding photos….I never tire of Photoboof.

HEY REMEMBER ME? It’s Marie, the shy and quiet ethnic girl sitting behind you in blog class. I know it’s been awhile (two weeks aka six months in internet years) since we’ve passed notes about our crushes, but I’m back and EXTREMELY pleased to introduce the month of October aka Ragetober aka Marielloween aka Spooks Awareness Month! Say good riddance to the most horrid time of our lives known as September 2010 where your #1 Boo had to to deal with being super sick for three weeks along with some other sexy thangs resulting in the winter of her wit. I was on antibiotics galore, even on the old school jam known as penicillin. (OMG VINTAGE!) I’m totally better now physically and spiritually so we can resume our heavy petting. This is the best month ever because it is my birthday and Halloween! So be prepared to be totally grossed out soon enough! I LUV EWE!

How will you celebrate? I for one am tweeting my favorite 90210 quotes again. Please join me! THEN, I’m going to dust off my fake sideburns that I usually save for Luke Perry’s birthday (October 11th) and rent a convertible to drive out to Moonshadows in Malibu. Anyone care to join?

More 90210 unicorns here!

Also sorry but it never gets old.

Ps. I wrote the creator of this video a fan letter recently. I’m hoping he makes a sequel soon!

During the later parts of summer I get into this weird codependent mood with my friends where we turn into siamese twins and never want to leave each others’ side. Do any of you get this way? Ever year at this time my desires to practice the religion of Laterian and parade down the streets with my hoodrat army are in full effect.

Reyna gave me this dress the other day because we were going out on the town to do said hoodrat thangs but I was dressed too casual (babydoll & boots). She opened her closet to me (sounds sexual), which holds a vintage dress collection that can rival my idol Elsa’s. Obviously this one was PERFECT for me! I went from Angela Chase to Anna Karina in the blink of an eye! Aaand she let me keep it! How sweet. THANKS REYUMI!!!

Here’s some random pictures of food from other times because hoodrats need to eat.

FU short rib grilled cheese from Joan’s on Third

F U teeny cupcake from Milk

I shall BRB with more blogging. Totally been neglecting my lil’ internet sanctuary over here because I’m too busy living the hoodrat life. You can blame the girls from the previous post.

PS. Call me if you want to live a life of hedonism and decadence.

In the name of Laterian,

Click here to read the fun lil’ interview I did on Mayoress with the terrific ladyboo known as Community College. Mayoress is one of my new top favorite lurks btw so check it out. I talk about my latest obsessions and who would play me in the movie of my life (not Jack Black in a bangs wig unfortch.) I wanna make you a glittering gif, CC! We have a blogmance going on.

I love the county fairs of the summertime. Everything about them is so vulgar: the fried candy bars, the deathtrap carnival rides, the people!!! It’s also like walking around inside an overpriced 99 cent store. But it’s gluttony at its finest and you’d be a fool not to partake in this guilty pleasure once in a while.

It’s only natural

I didn’t get a funnel cake because I spent all of my money on Virgin Mary and airbrushed keychains.

Shoe decorating contest…who could be the next great shoe designer of our time? I will have nightmares about this for weeks.

Kind of regret not getting a portrait done of myself by this guy.

My beef with the fair is the lack of gems in their prize stash. Only three years ago I got a beautiful framed portrait of Poetic Justice‘s leading stars, Tupak Shakur and Janet Miss Jackson IF YOUR NASTY. Why must you be updated in pop culture now? Why not keep the prizes outdated and slightly offensive and amazing?! At the AGENT LOVER FAIR, we’d have plenty of Selenas, Dizzy Devil, and Joey Lawrence framed photos for everybody!! I settled for teen dream Zac Efron because the Rob Pat one looked too greasy.

Plus I like how he is giving a lil’ pledge of allegiance underneath his shirt. This is now in the backseat of my car next to some copies of Lucky Magazine in case you find yourself back there and in need of a hunk.

Carnival ride paintings are really an unappreciated form of art.

Is it really ?

I was beyond excited to have captured this moment in action. This woman was airbrushing a tank top that said “Kinky” with what appeared to be the head of a turtle underneath (!!!) and “105 years.” WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

Again, it’s only natural.

Smile now, cry later.

~THE END~

ps. Are you going to the fair? Will you vomit? Eat funnel cake? Get pygmy goat dook on your boot?

Is that me in a corn field in the middle of the desert or is this a MIRAGE??!!

I could have titled the final installment of my Palm Springs Diaries: Only WE Would Go To A Zoo In The Desert, but I thought The Day I Almost Fainted would have more of a dramatic effect and a juicy plot. Emi and I thought it would be fun to go to The Living Desert, which is a zoo in nearby Indian Wells aka Indian Hell because it ended up being TOO HOT EVEN FOR ME (Cleopatra.) I still have yet to experience a real SoCal summer this year due to this weird ass January weather. Didn’t I complain about this thirty times already? (Sidebar as I type this, I am looking outside at the whiteout DRIZZLIN’ sky. Where am I, Seattle? HATECHU!) Anyway, I was all the more ready to “embrace the heat”…until I had a case of the dizzies in this DESERT JUNGLE and was afraid I was going to face plant into a cactus. Thank gawt I didn’t otherwise poor Emi would have to “Weekend at Bernie’s” me outta there.

This dress is from Charlotte Ronson’s collection for JC Penney. You know how I have loved me some Penney’s in the past. This dress is so pink and playful. It’s like Saved by the Bell, Kelly Kapowski print on the top with a pink and white floral skirt (my fave.)

Here is a magical gif of me taking down my long luxurious Rapunzel locks for your pleasure.

I’ve passed by this cute elephant sign many times on the way to Coachella and finally got to take a picture!

I should note that we ate at the original Native Foods twice while we were in Palm Springs. It’s this amazing vegan restaurant that has a few locations in Southern California. There is only one in LA for now but hopefully that will change soon. We even met the founder, Chef Tanya!

When we left beautiful Palm Springs we stopped to see the Cabazon Dinosaurs as per tradition. The Cabazon dinos were made way back in 1975 as a way to attract attention to the nearby cafe. But in the 90′s, the property was turned into a Creationist musuem, making poor Dinny and Mr. Rex (the dinosaurs) accessories to some religious propaganda.

But to Rie-Rie, this place will ALWAYS remind her of the glorious Fred Savage movie, The Wizard. “Califooornia!”

The wind was blowing so hard, even my bangs were no match against it. Imagine if I had a bangs helmet for these types of situations?

Closeup of my Mr. T hands. I will do a post on my rings addiction soon. PITY THE FOOL