Category — Mi Vida Loca

http://www.awesomeallday.com/?p=1969

Hope yours was just as fun!!! Cheers to a brand new year and DECADEnce!

♥ Forever 21 jacket and dress + Betsey Johnson Pollys, Lipstick hat made for me by Emi ♥

HAPPY 2010 SEXIES! I pondered long and hard (HELLO) about how I wanted to wrap up ’09. I was initially going to do a year-in-review like I’ve done the past two years, but decided that idea was a snoozefest. It’s all about mixing thangs up for the Oh Ten chu know. Next I decided to give you a mix of my top ten songs of the year! ZZZzzzZZ… ::handjob motion::… everyone was doing that! So THEN I thought, let me flip that idea and get real serious, look you straight in the eye and give you a mix of my own personal, private, top songs from the year!! (Even if they weren’t necessarily songs from 2009.) But I was getting so emotional bb and I didn’t want to subject you to “Little Red Corvette” yet again. SIGH. Finally, I put on my thinking bow and came up with a couple of lists I thought I should share witchu. This first post is (yes this is a two-parter)…

1. TOKYO DELETED SCENE – That crazy first night in Tokyo running around with new friends Jun and Shaula, two of the sweetest and funnest gals/models I’ve ever met. We started the night off at a club where Jun Takahashi built a GRACE doll live while Bounty Hunter’s Hikaru spun punk. It was then followed by some wild goose chase/club-hopping. We spent just enough time at a sleazy Roppongi club to have a total teen movie moment where I stepped out of the restroom and right into an MJ Thriller dance battle. All I needed was Usher Raymond and Freddie Prinze Jr. to make their cameos and join in on the dance floor. At that time, the King of Pop was newly deceased and my dancing chanclas were ready to pay tribute whenever and wherever. After leaving Roppongi and a couple of other failed clubbing attempts, we ended up at Le Baron where I THEN battled a queen decked out in baby blue lederhosen who had Verbal from Terikyaki Boyz in tow. Sadly, Baby Blue Lederhosen beat me in our danceoff since I could not match his upside down crab walk dance and I had to wave my white flag in surrender. WHY I OUGHTA. As the club was closing, we planned to go to a hidden ramen shop but walked outside to shockingly discover it was 5am and we had missed the last call for delishis noodles! Time did not exist on that trip! Do I even have to say it? I miss TOKYOOOO!

2. MY 29th BIRTHDAY! In October I decided to forego a usual LA bar birthday party in exchange for…an SF bar birthday party! We went to Kozy Kar, a bar decorated in a 70′s theme, where I charmed my way out of the crowd and into a waterbed, celebrating life with my favorite San Fran boos including my wifey Star and my middlename twin Mary Van Note. I always have such a great time up north! Loving you AND missing you guys so much!

I also hung out with Rory from Awesome All Day! He really is awesome! I do got one beef witchu Rory, why didn’t we get into any illegalish escapades together? That better have been a warm-up SON!

When I came back I celebrated with my LA crew who showered me with chips and salsa and lots of love and prezzies! Ya spoil me bos, ya spoil me! My friend Kiana painted me on top of a unicorn!

3. STAYMOIST MUG! Also at my LA b-day dinner, Melissa and Levon presented me with Thee John Stamos Mug! It says “HAVE MERCY!” on the back. Obviously the mug needed its own entry on this list. Here it is pictured with a bowl of traditional Filipino sotanghon. If only my lips could grace the REAL Stamos’ sexy mug! SOMEDAY MY WILD STALLION, SOMEDAY….

4. THE MUTANT ORACLE – For my birthday in SF Star got me an X-men tarot card reading by none other than the fabulous Storm! Being an X-men fan I have to say this was by far one of the best presents I have ever received! First of all, it was the most thorough and accurate tarot reading I have experienced, no joke (aside from the non-English speaking lady in Puerto Vallarta ten years ago that freaked me out)! I also pulled a Triple Jean Grey goddess which Storm said was the first time that had ever occurred! DAS RIGHT BAYBEE! If you are in San Francisco, I highly recommending getting your cards read by him!

“I cutchu mang!”

5. DISNEYLAND! – We went to Disneyland earlier in the year to celebrate my boo Emi’s b-day which was a blast!

6. THE NEW MOON PREMIERE – How could I have forgotten to blog about our annual ritual of popsicle-mask making for the Twilight series?? Of course I had to make new ones for New Moon. Poor Jacob and his tiny head. I didn’t have time to find a better picture. BTW, like my ~Edward~ shirt?

7. KID SISTER X MOVING UNITS – A couple of weeks ago I went to the Kid Sister X Moving Units show. I didn’t realize it was a ‘battle of the bands’ type of situation until we got there. I hadn’t heard Moving Units since the Club Bang days of 2005 so I wasn’t sure what to expect! The performers faced each other on two dueling stages, doing interpretations of each others’ songs as well as different versions of their own. Such a fun night!

8. IFB DRESS UP IN NYC! I can’t believe I never posted about this! WHATTA PUTA! I was driving from upstate NY to Brooklyn that same day and wasn’t able to make the soiree until it was pretty late. I was bummed but I’m glad I was able to meet up with some of the gals!

Me and Yoshi!

Gilda, Wendy Brandes, Jennine and me!

9. R.I.P. TAI - My personal tribute to Brittany Murphy. Her death really affected me! She said the line we like to say whenever there is mangs drama..in Tai accent: “If I’m too good for him, how come I’m not with him??”

After Clueless, I followed her trail and remember watching this MTV Diary episode where she was talking about her favorite lip balm which was Dr. Pepper flavor. Being a chapstick addict, of course I had to try it immediately…and it became my favorite lip balm for many years afterward. I always liked Ashton and her as a couple and would constantly watch Just Married. It bummed me out when they broke up. Why was I so obsessed with them? They always looked like they were having a good trucker hat-wearing, Dr. Pepper chapstick-hijinkies kinda time, that’s why. So so sad. When I found out she passed away I went to Target and bought a Dr. Pepper lip balm in her honor.

10. THIS HILARIOUS UGLY ASS PANDA NECKLACE PLATE THING I SADLY DID NOT BUY AT FAIRFAX SWAP

There you have it, my deleted scenes of 2009! Sorry I couldn’t include the telenovelas and the x-rated episodes but a girl has to keep SOME of her mystery. What ended up on your 2009 cutting room floor?

Welcome to my final XXXmas post so we can be OVER with all these holidaze crayness! How’d you guys do? I was really excited to make my very first GINGERBREAD HOUSE! I’ve never done it before. Is that usually a white people thing? Anyway, I was so excited and had big plans to make a Madonna Inn gingerbread castle!

Tons of supplies and ingredients were purchased at the good ol’ 99!

We made sure to have a spread of delicious snacks so nobody was tempted to eat the house ingredients…that didn’t work.

Phallic candies! Should be called Peckerooms!

Then we all got to work…

Sticky fingers and graham cracker crumbs resulted in some really cute houses!

Can you already see which one is mine? I was a bit overambitious with my MADONNA INN tribute that I had to take a breather to do some stretches and came back to find no graham crackers left! My Madonna Inn was looking like a shack, but I ended up turning it into The Love Palace. It is “very Marie” dontcha think?

Everyone did such an amazing job and they all looked so different!

WOW! SO FANCY YOU A-HOLES!

We also had a little ornament workshop area!

?

I’m really into dark nails right now which is unusual for me yet typical for the wintery season. You know I love to go neon pink year round! But dark burgundy/blackish nails with a bold glitter is what I’m really into right now. And you? How’s your nail game right now?

What I wore to our little shindig…

+Mode Merr candy dress, fave red and white heels, mini top hat from Harajuku+

Did you make any badass gingerbread houses? Show me! I gotta improve my gingerbread game before next Xmas so I betta start training this summer!

I’m backed up (SICK) on blog posts (the yooj) so I’m slooowly going to be rolling them out…taking them off my drafts one by one, like a striptease. We can pretend they are going through “post-post-production”. It’s depressing to look at these pictures from a brunch party we had at my friend Leyla’s a few weeks ago because the weather has gone completely to shit since then and I have traded in my dear Polly’s and bare legs for tights, boots and scarves. I guess that isn’t bad style-wise, but you know how I hate “winter.” Unlike all of you with your “I LOVE the raaain!” tweets. I’m so S.A.D.! I got this sailor dress made for my birthday a couple years ago but opted for something else that night because it didn’t have “enough cleavage.” What an A-hole. It does however, make a perfect dress for weekend brunches, bbq’s and flea market days.

What’s also funny about these pictures is I am pretending to like bikes. When I was eight and hopped onto my lavender pegasus bicycle, the seat was loose, spun off and almost impaled my you-know-what. That terrifying memory is etched in my brain and gives me the shivers like a bad one night stand. I also hate how they are so tall. Or maybe I’m just too short. I feel like if I get on one, my face will get all catatonic and I will just fall to the side and stay there. The only thing that can solve this fear is a gold lowrider bicycle from the swapmeet.

Back to brunch party, it’s nice, although somewhat of a shock to see friends you might usually only see during nighttime activities. Now you find yourself staring at them in the sun while exposing your freckles and pores to each other. Only brunch with those you feel REALLY comfortable with FYI.

Leyla and some of our spread that we forgot to take pictures of…

Ladies…

and gents…

and a fanny pack

This post is to be continued because I’m going to go in-depth about how much I love BRUNCH, BRUNCHING, and all thing BRUNCH-related. I know you do too. Have a happy Friday! I love you!

+ Missy E – The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)

• motorcycle jacket and giant ring- Forever 21
• dress – Jovovich Hawk for Target
• nude tights – Target
• gold boots that I sadly have to say are on their last legs ::CRYING::

Dear trusty Gold Bewts,

We been through a lot boo. I found you for ten doll hairs and purchased them as a “joke.” And much like many of my “jokes” I fell in love witchu…HARD. When I’d put you on, you’d turn me on. Make me feel like a wonder woman..like I had the world at my fingertips! I even loved you when you got stuck in my car door and I fell in front of Starbucks, rolled out onto the ground and a scary legs-loving hobo tried to help me get up. But these days you look more tore up than Amy Winehouse getting slapped by a bag of hot nickles. And now that you’ve taken up a new habit…it’s probably time to call our romance quits.

Love you forever,

Patrick McNee & Honor Blackman – “Kinky Boots”

I forgot to tell you…I was a LISA FRANK STICKER for Halloween! Specifically…HOLLYWOOD BEAR, who is possibly the creepiest of them all.

Nobody understood what the hell I was until I told them…and ONLY if they were a girl who grew up in the 80′s. That is fine by me since I am an asshole who enjoys dressing up as things that only a few select people (The Elite) will understand. JK. ORAMI? Like last year when I was “Bird Flu” and someone thought I was a witch doctor, and the year before when I was Alma from Santa Sangre and fantasized a sexy menz would come up to me dressed like Fenix and we would fall deep in pretentious film snob love. I actually remember that night some guy said “I love your costume!” And I excitedly asked “Do you know who I am?” And he said “No, but it is cool.” GAWTDAMN. Anyway, like I always say about Halloween…why dress in a slutty costume when I dress in slutty costume the other 364 days of the year?!

I would have loved to be one of the Hip Hop Bears, naturally. But I have been promised by SOMEONE that they will dress up with me and we will go through the Taco Bell drive-thru like that. Just doing normal, everyday thangs as the Hip Hop Bears. I cannot wait for that SOMEONE to make good on their promise to me.

My transformation into “Hollywood Bear” was a process only a few could be brave enough to endure. First, I scanned a sticker and made it into a poster so I could wear it around my neck like a sangwich board. Made a tiny top hat to match and I was good to go! SO MUCH WORK! For my eye makeup I used Urban Decay in “Peace” and wore some fake eyelashes with rhinestones on them. Here is some of my private Photobooth action that night.

Party time! Kiana as Little Red Riding Hood! I want to use her basket as a purse!

Me with the Sea Queen Emi!

<3

Sea Queen got caught by the deep sea diver

Look at this amazing crown!

And this treasure chest ring w/ Caribbean Under The Sea nails did! No wonder you are my Style Icon forever…

Little Robot Girl

Robot meets my tattoo

I stole some girl’s props so I could do a “Libra scales pose”

Black Widow..watch out menz, she gonna seduce you and catch you her in web

Don’t F with us

Olive Oyl!

Costume Winner!

Hope you all had a lovely Halloween! And I hope you don’t mind if I am retrograde blogging this week. It has been a CRAY MONTH OF LIFE. But I love you and am thinking of you 24-8.

I’m sure by now your 24 hour special event reminder for my birthday has gone off on your alarm clocks, Microsoft Outlook calendars, phones and pagers. Tomorrow is a time of celebration for us all, not only my October 16 birthday compadres such as Angela Lansbury, Oscar Wilde, Nico, Flea and Hobie from Baywatch, …it is also an excuse to pour yourself a STIFF ONE and listen to some sweet slow jamz just knowing that I am forever your ride or die chick.

My birthday is also a time for me to dream of what my future can hold. Even in shopping form. So I compiled a birthday wish list!

ON MY FINGAS BUT NEVER ON MY TOEZ: I like wearing a lot of rings so of course I’m going to want to add to my collection. These are all from Vivienne Westwood, Han Cholo, and Noir. I want more brooches too! In my dream world I’d have this Vivienne Westwood one.

HAND IN GLOVE THE SUN SHINES OUTTA MY BEHIND: Gotta get my glove game on. In NY I spotted these pink and black gloves at Patricia Field which would be perfect for “driving gloves” when I’m ridin’ dirty down the 101. I’d also love any of these Mod Cloth gloves so I can be classy when I feel you up like the grams on Sixteen Candles.

I WANNA VOMIT SEQUINS: I wanna sparkle and shine ’til the end of time. Give me these Betsey Johnson sequined pedal pushers and this crazy coat!

NOTHIN’ AS BOLD AS BOWNERS N’ GOLD: Even though grey is not one of my favorite colors, for some reason I am digging this purse from my #1 favorite Betsey Johnson. I think… WHOMIKIDDING of course it’s the gold touches that catch my eye. That and the bow. Gawd I’m so predictable. ::eyeroll:

PANTYHOSE IN DIFFERENT AREA CODES: I need some new backseam pantyhose to go with some sexy heels I just bought. These American Apparel ones will do!

BOOTS MEANS PU**Y IN ARMENIAN: My favorite gold cowboy bootz are giving up on me you guys. I got them for $10 at this random store in the mall years ago as a “joke”. As I always say…after some time, jokes for me usually “turn real.” So now I want some new gold ones AND of course some red ones. In the meantime, I will run these gold cowboy boots into the ground until the soles start talking and the heel breaks off. I haven’t even gotten lucky in these gold cowboy boots yet! ::raises eyebrows and remembers something m’lord::

POLLY WANNA CRACKER: I am crazy about my Betsey Johnson Pollys! I wanted these gold ones for this past summer but never got them. They are STILL #1 on my list. Patricia Field makes these.

NAUTICAL GIRLS NEED LOVE TOO: Sailor style never gets old for me. I adore this Stop Staring dress!

WEDNESDAY ADDAMS GOT NUTHIN’ ON ME: Since it’s autumn, I am going back to my Satan’s School for Girls ways (not like I ever left) but that means dressing like an amish whore! Love this dress from Mod Cloth.

PANTS ARE FOR SUCKERS (JK I LOVE U): American Apparel makes these really cute high-waist skirts and I want to add more to my collection. I already own black of course.

C’MON KITTY LIGHT MY FIRE: Hello Kitty bedazzled lighter! Need I say more?

ONCE I READ THAT COFFEE DRINKERS ARE BETTER IN THE SACK: I just went the week without coffee. WTF, but sometimes I have to slow my roll. I drank green tea instead, which was nice, HOWEVER, baby girl needs some caffeine! Last night I was so tired my eyes were closed and I was talking nonsense. I’m sorry Shaun. Coffee Bean I love you. I’ll take Starbucks too.

DREAMING OF YOU TONIGHT: I CAN’T BREATHE!! I NEED THIS SELENA BLANKET!!! Winter nights are coming…I’m going to be cold. Only two things can warm my young, nubile, bod up..a sexy menz and this SELENAS BLANKET!!! I’ll take both if you got em. Bidi Bidi BOMB.com.

HAVE MERCY ON ME: Lastly…my ultimate b-day wish..for THEE JOHN STAMOS, THEE LADYBONER OF MY LIFE TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ON TWITTER. Of course I’d love for him to sing to me wearing Clark Kent glasses and holding a Grey Goose and tonic…but I’ll take a TWITTER SHOUTOUT. Someone make my dreams come true. Just this once.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Hallow sexies! I have just returned from a weekend geta-RAGE with my girls in San Francisco! Lots of booze, boos, bowners, boobs…and singing. Lots and lots of singing! From serenading a cab driver The Little Mermaid soundtrack songs (obviously I am obsessed if you’ve seen the Eyeliner tutorial video) to stairwell acappella versions of 90′s R&B jams…BEAUTIFUL! I swear these girls are the SF version of my bffs in SoCal. That’s deep bo. It’s fucking bananas. KISMET I’m tellin’ you. LOVIN U I’m telling you even more.

Star! My wifeyboo and hostess! Absolutely beautiful and brilliant. Always a pleasure.

Me, Star, Kristen and Melinda lounging at the Kink party.

Care for a splash of JEAN NATE??

I die for Kristen’s Hilary Banks-inspired outfit. WHY YOU KILL ME BO

Mary Van Note and I finally got to meet IN THE FLESH! I love her so much. Classy, sweet, stylish and hilar! (I keep watching this and dying) We even share the same exact middle name…which is really weird. Excuse me while I continue to trip on this shit again and again sober and three days later but I’ve never met another Madeline especially one with it as their same middle name and a variation of the same first name! Are we twins in a parallel dimensh? Sisters from another mister? Or perhaps we were SISTERS together in the NUN-sense in a past life. Sister Act!? Okay I am just going off on a crazy catholick tangent but I know you feel me. If you missed the interview I did with her, please read here!

I heart Will!

M&M get rowdy dowdy

Bandmates!

I just got this cute leopard faux fur jacket from Forevs Veintiunos and it was so hot in SF I thought I would not be able to wear it! It matched my Betsey Johnson luggage perfectly.

I love channeling a little Fran Dresch.  A few years ago my New Years resolution was to dress like The Nanny. Shall I try again? Wide headbands? Put these baby bangs on Karate Kid lockdown and put my fo’ on display?? Watchu think?

Speaking of, during a lil Googs, I found this amazing fashion blog about The Nanny. BRILLIANT!

So as I promised, here’s a follow-up to the New Jack Swing mix. Nothing beats some good 90′s R&B slow jams to get the HORN rollin’. And as much as I love me some Pussy Monster, Lil’ Wayne’s enthralling lyrics do not induce the same type of chest-heaving, lip-smacking, rice-cooking arousal as the beginning of Keith Sweat’s “NOBODY!” ::faints::. As you can see I am making you SWEAT from the beginning to the end of this mix. Hope you all like it! Be careful…it may cause boner swells and snail trails.

Download 90′s HORN MIX

Forever Your Tenderoni,

I just did a fun interview with Rory at Awesome All Day where I talk about my ladyboner, Selenas, and what to do if your man is behind bars..you know, THE YOOJ. Go check it out!