Category — Ladyboners

Zak Waters’ New Single: Skinny Dipping In The Deep End

Zak Waters, one of my all-time favorite Dear Menz sexy hunks, has a new single out from his upcoming fall full-length release! I’m SUPER EXCITED because I’ve listened to his first EP New Normal NONSTOP over the past year. “Skinny Dipping In The Deep End” is the ultimate sexy summer jam! Watch the video below and get it on iTunes here! LUVIN EWE ZAK!

June 21, 2012   1 Comment

2nd Annual Lady Boner Valentines For Your Boos: Brooch Edition

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY MY FRIENDS!!!!!! And Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! SO, I decided to whip up a lil craftin’ video last minute to show you how to make some special valentines for your sistaboos! Like last year, these are Ladyboner-themed, except this time we are making prize ribbon brooches!

Because each of these hunks are definitely a prize to our eyes and thighs! Enjoy!

Something I forgot to mention: use the glitter pens LAST. Them shits are so messy I was getting it all over the place. SO NOY.

As for my outfit, these are just some old thangs I put together real quick. Like I said before, my hair is being all “SEVEN DAYS” lately so I try to wear it up as much as I can. Don’t I look so sweet? ::bats eyelashes:: The bow is American Apparel, vintage skirt from the Fairfax flea market, heart wedges from Amiclub and an old top that I added white heart buttons to. I believe I got the necklace from Maker Faire a few years ago. Also, my nail polish is High Speed Fast Dry in Hot Pink Frenzy and Jewel FX in Hot Pink both by Milani!

Have a great Love Day everyone!

February 14, 2012   18 Comments

One Word Movie Review: Drive

Forgot to post this two weeks ago but I’m thinking better late than never. And I know it is an obvious word choice but it is what left my lips when the credits started to roll. FROM MY LIPS 2 GAWDZ EARS!!!!!

Drive has all the elements that satiate my HORN LEVELS. Ryan Gosling X Fast and The Furious…you know I loves my car movies. The leather gloves. Kavinsky on the soundtrack. Christina Hendricks with a bamboo earrin’ and a gold minx manicure. And then of course….ALL OF THE BLOODY VIOLENCE!!! Total p-no, my dudes. And there isn’t even a sex scene!

A final warning to anyone, male OR female who dares mimic “Driver” for Halloween with that Scorpion jacket…do not be surprised if a 5’2 Filitaliana girl dressed like a _______ (sorry costume is confidential) attempts to spontaneously dry hump you out of nowhere. You’ll only have yourself to blame.

September 29, 2011   14 Comments

I Bind You Ryan Gosling, I Bind You From Making Us All Horn

September 8, 2011   14 Comments

So Addicted

♥ Levi’s jacket, vintage NKOTB shirt from Emi’s childhood, leopard mini skirt from Target, Kate Bush-themed tote from Fieldguided given to me by Melissa! There’s also a Wu-Tang pin on the jacket. This combo basically sums me up well IMHO. ♥

Well dudes & dudettes, two things. I’m obsessed with Spotify and the addiction to Instagram has finally reached your pal Rie. I remember months ago when Fast Five came out, I wanted to marathon the entire series and used Instagram for screencaps to bait any of my friends who were secret Fast and the Furious fans (at least five have revealed themselves.) I hadn’t really used it since because, A) my old-ass dinosaur iPhone would kick me out of the app every single time and B) It doesn’t email you notifications when people add you. I am used to relying on email alerts, hello. Then Rory and another friend told me they were surprised I didn’t use it more so I logged in and realized HEY THERE’S A PARTY GOING ON IN THERE. So here we are. The excitement I feel for Instagram is similar to my feelings for Flickr circa 2005-2006, which is a pretty big deal my friends.  But it really just gets me more excited for the new iPhone. Leyla and I are holding out for the iPhone 5 and will literally throw a party for the occasion. I have been holding off for so long!!!

♥ Some lil whole wheat naan pizzas I made (they look like pizza chanclas) and Mr. Shankly’s hungry eyes. Does he ever get full? His stomach is like a bottomless pit. ♥

So now let me tell you about my crush on Spotify. If you work in an office all day, a good music situation is vital to your sanity. Luckily I am not tortured by Muzak (does it even still exist??) or Kiss FM and get to listen to whatever I want. HOWEVER, this can backfire if you are not careful. For instance, if you have your iTunes set to shuffle and a clip of you singing E-40′s “U and Dat”  in autotune comes on it ain’t gonna be pretty. That happened to me three times in the past year. It’s like I keep pranking myself. :(

Anyway, I’ve ignored books, my Netflixing, my sleep, this blog, humans, food, the gym, all because I’ve been making playlists on Spotify and they are making me really emotional. But in a good, nostalgic, junior high sort of way. Some titles: “My Art Leboe Oldies Dedications” (romantic lowrider jams), Damn Girl (the ultimate late 90′s/00′s sistajams) I Was Born In The Wrong Era (Connie, Patsy, Brenda and the rest of the ladies who remind me there was a time when people actually knew how to sing) and then “I Love Every Version Of Sea of Love” which well, I’ve told you enough already.  Find me (agentlover) on there if you want to have a listen/cry/do the butterfly.

And before I leave you, Let us gaze at this screenshot from the best video ever made, (second only to the mariachi beluga serenade) the Stamos Cuddling video! So many people sent this to me. I love that so much, you guys. Of course I had to SAY SOMETHING TO MY BELOVED but alas, IGNORED AGAIN. Someday, someday…

August 11, 2011   8 Comments

The Slumber Party Continues: Reveal Your Crushes

Now that we’ve ~loosened up~ with a little drinking game at Ashe’s blog, it’s time to grab our pillows and gather ’round to talk about our favorite topic in life…OUR CRUSHES!

Dylan McKay, Joey “WHOA” Lawrence, the whole cast of The Lost Boys, Jonathan Brandis (R.I.P.), Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez…we really could go on forever about the Tiger Beat cover boys who stole our hearts.  You always had to “call dibs” on your favorite Corey, Brat Pack member or New Kid because it was taboo to have the same celebrity crush as your best friend. Don’t worry, when you become an “adult,” it’s totally fine to fawn over Javier Bardem with your bff but HANDS OFF John Staymoist. OK. Anyway, from time to time, I enjoy doing a little Goog’ to find out what happened to my favorite movie star crush. I usually regret it instantly because most of the time they turned out to be something scary like a tanorexic guido. OH WELL.

My dream mangwich has always consisted of the COOLEST DUDES EVER:

FERRIS BUELLER AND PARKER LEWIS HALLOW FANTASY THREESOME. So obvious for me no? Do they make these guys in real life? Sidebar: this post took me way too long to write because I got caught up in this amazing gallery of Parker Lewis’ funky shirt collection! Thank you Corin Nemec for displaying this so nicely on your website. And pardon me while I add Parker Lewis Can’t Lose Seasons 1 & 2 on my Netflix to reunite with right after my Fast and the Furious marathon (that’s a story for another time.)

Now I’m sure most of the hunks I’ve mentioned were scotch-taped to your lockers, but what about the ones that you were too embarrassed to talk about because they were… “too weird”? And maybe you didn’t realize HOW WEIRD they were until you got older, woke up one day and asked yourself, “Why the f did I daydream so romantically about Egon from the cartoon version of Ghostbusters?!” YES I SAID CARTOON

Another weird one of mine was Doc Brown in Back to the Future. Okay. OBVIOUSLY I have a thing for geniuses, you guys. I did like Steve Martin too…is it the silver foxiness? I must say, none of my oddball crushes can match the one Shaun confessed to me long ago…

That’s right. This mutha told me he was attracted to the DEVIL from Legend. SCARY!!! Because, in his words: “HELLO He has a hot body! Mmm delicious…”

I wish I still had the old Myspace page I had created in the mid 2000′s exclusively for our STRANGE CRUSHES. Everyone had confessed their secret loves! Sadly it is gone. So let’s make new memories of our old memories everyone! Tell me your favorite old school crushes and please include your strange, sick, humiliating ones. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. How can a girl who had schoolgirl affections for none other than Rick Moranis ever throw a sideeye at chu? Nothing but love here on ol’ AL.com, nothing but love….

April 7, 2011   36 Comments

Sorry For Not Blogging, I’ve Been On Vacation With My New Boyfriend

javierandmehangingout

Hey my boos! Sorry I’ve been a bit M.I.A. the past few weeks. I fell crazy in love Beyonce-style so unfortunately AL has suffered. Don’t worry though… I shall be back in two twists of a smurf’s nipple!

P.S. Please don’t think I’m tacky and less classy if I come back covered in hickeys!

March 22, 2011   7 Comments

Ask Marie: Ladyboner Valentines For Your Boos

valentine's sunday

HELLO MY VALENTINES! I got a request through my ‘lil ouija board (posted on the upper right of the blog) by a lovely reader named Alex! She wanted me to do a tutorial on how to make your own valentines. This year I decided to do something extra crazy and make my Ladyboner Valentines into ACCESSORIES!!! OH MY GAWD WHAT IN THE F IS GOIN ON HERE!

valentine's sunday

valentine's sunday
This Mark Ruffalo bracelet is dedicated to Elizabeth

valentine's sunday
Yes that is a Joe Pesci from Goodfellas choker

And here’s my instructional video! Remember…Ladyboner Valentines can be appreciated every day of the year! So if you ever have the urge to make a pair of Javier Bardem earrings (you know I do) feel free to do it gurl.

P.S. Take a peek at Pygmy Hippo Valentine’s post to see some other goodies I like to give my friends (90′s erotic thrillers on dvd)

February 14, 2011   17 Comments

Dear Menz With Special Guest TNUC

dearmenztnuc

TNUC can best be described as a master of combining visual and aural stimulation…as well as an obscure 80′s film king, dream warrior, fellow pizza lover and a fan of Staymoist. Whenever I need any of those things, which is all the time, I visit his blog. Bookmark that boner immediately. TNUC also partners up with my favorite dj duo/ past Dear Menz interviewees Futurecop! quite often for collaborations including the video for upcoming single “1988 Girls.” Be on the lookout for that as well as more videos and the TNUC BONER OF THE MONTH CLUB! Sounds like a Male marie if you ask me. How could I not ask this Casanova to be our latest Dear Menz guest?

tnuc2

Out of the bevy of ass-kicking 80′s babes, which one would you want at your side helping you fight crime?

Vanity. Hands down. If you’re one of the few and one of the proud to catch her in Never too Young to Die, you already know the facts. When she’s not strapped to the back of your motor-bike, ready to fight post-nuke vigilantes, then she’s probably strapped to your Johnson, or playing a game of cat and mouse with you until the tension can’t bear anymore, and the two of you are forced to take it to the bedroom, where the moment you start fornicating, saxophone immediately starts playing. What a woman.

Your readers voted on who was more bonerable: Kelly Kapowski or Kelly Bundy, which is ultimately a good girl versus bad girl battle. Kapowski won! Why do you think that? Doesn’t everyone know naughty girls need love too?

Kapowski winning is no surprise. She’s the more accessible one, and the one you would have ZERO worries about bringing home to Mom. Don’t get me wrong, she’s delicious, but I’m a 345% supporter of the Buxom-Bundy. I guess Kapowski could make for a good peeping tom session, hanging from a tree limb with binoculars, peeking in on a Bayside Friday night slumber party. Another plus to the Bundy camp is the obvious connection to legend Al Bundy. I don’t know why people aren’t picking up on this. Drinking beers, reminiscing about high school football and delving into the art of the shoe business…c’mon now.

tnuc1

Which Goonie do you identify with most and why?

That’s difficult. My immediate answer that came to mind is Mouth (Corey Feldman). But I suppose for me, that connection is only based on his moves and style. You know, the members only jacket, purple reign t-shirt and the bouncing, flopping hair. But the more I think about it, TNUC could associate with Sloth on so many levels. Sloth was chained in that dingy basement for so many years and TNUC was chained in the dreaded 90’s for so many years. So we could really relate to one another and get intellectual. Then again I could always go the route of Mikey (Sean Astin). He’s more of the dreamer, the chaser, the true Goonie. My final answer? How about THE STYLE OF “MOUTH”, THE HEART OF “SLOTH” AND THE SOUL OF “MIKEY”…..that’s it.

It is one of my lifetime goals to DO IT in a DeLorean. I’m sure this is an everyday humdrum activity for a stud like thee TNUC. What should I be prepared for when I finally acquire this vehicle for my “autoerotic” fantasies?

Greatest question ever. This one truly digs deep in the loins of TNUC. OK, so you’ve acquired the DeLorean, the hard parts over. Next, make sure your metallic beast is equipped with an automatic fog dispenser. That’s first and foremost on the check-list. Lucky for me, mine just happened to come with it. The dealer asked me if I wanted the model with the Flux Capacitor or the model with the Fog Dispenser, so naturally I went with the right decision. So anyways, here’s an example of my first sexual episode involving a DeLorean. Do you remember the part in Karate Kid, where Daniel the Dingus and his Mom drive the station-wagon to go pick up Ali (Elisabeth Shue) for the date at Golf N’ Stuff? Well, there’s a part when Daniel and his Mother are driving where the camera pans a little to the left. You can barely see it, but if you look verrrry closely you can see a DeLorean. Well, that very night TNUC just happned to be cruising around the Valley. This chug-a-lug station-wagon wouldn’t get out of my way, so I swerved around it, leaving the station-wagon in a cloud of fog. Something caught my attention. This big house on a hill was beaming with camera-crews, crowds of people, film equipment and at the very top, near the doorway, a very exquisite looking Elisabeth Shue standing alone. Immediately I pulled into the driveway. People started starting with looks of shock and sheer terror, did a mysterious DeLorean really just arrive on-set and could possibly be crashing their party? I didn’t care. My focus was on Elisabeth. She needed to experience the DeLorean and needed to experience the TNUC. I then used the gull-wing opening door feature and fog started pouring out of the vehicle in large amounts. The fog got so intense, people started to freak out and others were being lost in its thick mass. I knew this was my only chance to make a run for it and get the girl! Before I could step out of the car, Elisabeth was already in it. She had this hallucinogenic, almost possessed look on her face, as if the fog had put her into some sort of trance. All I know is, I was happy. She told me she’d never felt like this before and that she wanted to be taken. That was enough information for me. I immediately clocked in at 88 miles per hour, and the last thing anyone saw that night was a license plate that read the letters T N U C, hammering out of the driveway and into the night. The rest is history.

I would find out months later that all this was captured on camera, but the director burned it and swore never to speak on the happenings of that night ever again. I’d like to take a moment right now to target the two people who I’m on the hunt for. The director and that little worm Daniel LaRusso. You two better pray Johnny Lawrence and I don’t find you on our Yamaha Dirt-Bikes. We’re currently on the prowl, searching empty karate dojos and California beaches. If you’re found, your legs are about to be swept to death! This is just a mere example of what can happen with a DeLorean on your hands.

SatansLillaFlickah

You dressed as Uncle Jesse aka my #1 ladyboner John Stamos (Staymoist) for Halloween one year. What has the Staymoist taught you about women? HAS IT WORKED? (how dare I ask)

Well, it goes without saying that Stamos has changed my life and continues to do so. For years I channeled him with any sexual exploits I got myself into. For me, if you’re trying to impress the ladies, one obvious move is riding your Harley into the sunset, leather jacket bound, hair blowing in the wind. When doing this, you cannot forget to pack plenty of Mousse. Use plenty of mousse and don’t be afraid to throw some Aqua-Net in there as well. I’ve heard some guys carry condoms in their wallets, well so do I, but the difference is that when you tear open the rubber in my wallet, the only thing inside is a nice travel size squirt of Mousse! For dire situations.

Stamos has also influenced me in terms of style. You can’t go wrong with a daily get-up of a leather jacket, teal shirt and a pair of snakeskin boots. Chicks also faint at the sight of a dangling earring in the left ear, either a cross or a feather. The vampire clan in The Lost Boys also carried this trend. The foolish crew on Full House wouldn’t let poor Stamos rock an earring on set, like the time they refused to film him riding over the Golden Gate bridge with a naked Becky straddling him and his bike. I hope this information was useful. Good luck kids of America, may your Stamos continue to soar!

And of course since it is Spooks Awareness Month, I have to ask you which scream queen gives you a supernatural boner?

My boner gets ultra supernatural whenever Sheri Moon Zombi hits the screen. She may not have too many classics or enough filmography under her belt, but who cares. I could have said Jamie Lee Curtis or Linda Blair, but c’mon, we’re talking about BONERS here! Sheri Moon for sure. Boner Jams all night.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you TNUC!!!

http://uncletnuc.blogspot.com/

November 2, 2009   7 Comments

Julian et Julian

julianjulians

Interpol and The Strokes are two sexy bands from New York City who blew up in the early 2000′s, with both of their leading men putting out solo albums this year…and putting me in a musical ménage à trois!!! Lately I’ve been on a Julian² listening binge.

i luv julian casablancas

Julian Casablancas of The Strokes has a new single called “11th Dimension” that I have had on OCD repeat for the past couple of weeks, probably driving everyone around me cray, but I don’t give an F because my ladyboner runs so deep for Jules… all the way back to them early Strokes days! His new album, Phrazes for the Young drops October 20 and although it’s too early to say if I will be obsessed with it.. WHOMIKIDDING. I will probably be all over it like soy sauce on rice. I haven’t been excited for an album coming out like this in a long time. His voice always turns me on. GAWTDAMN. At first, “11th Dimension” sounded like a total departure from The Strokes with it’s dancey, 80′s-synth sound, but then I heard the familiar Strokes guitar riff element, immediately taking me back to age 21 when I looked like Velma from Scooby Doo. OH JULES. Marty McFlying me to both 1987 AND 2002 in a span of three minutes!

Let me pour you a glass…

Julian Casablancas - “11th Dimension”

horn of plenti

Also on repeat is the new Julian Plenti is… Skyscraper album, which is Paul Banks of Interpol’s solo proj/Sasha Fierce-esque alter ego. Even though it’s not too different from the usual Interpol sound, it’s a really solid album. Did you know Interpol won best soundtrack in the Makeout Awards of 2008? He’s got a good set of horn-inducing pipes on him too.

Would you care to try a taste of this one too?

Julian Plenti – “Only If You Run”

Now if only there were a third Julian whipping up some tunes so the three of them could do a Tony! Toni! Toné! type of thang. Lennon is all I can think of but that doesn’t work. OH WELL.

Hope you enjoy!

October 6, 2009   4 Comments