Sistadudes, can we finally talk about this IMPORTANT SUBJECT already? Brunch aka “I am too lazy and hungover to make it to breakfast,” is one of my favorite things in the whole world. I know it’s just a corny term you use to eat a late breakfast with your crew (usually the people you hung out with a few hours prior.) This way, you can keep the party going and extend the previous night’s binge-drinking under the guise of “fancy mom drinks” like mimosas and Bloody Mary’s.  Don’t you need some of that el pelo del perro anyway?

(BRUNCHES I HAVE BRUNCHED UPON, clockwise from left: Eggs Florentine at The Parker, Signature Scramble at Grub, Healthy and Happy crepe at Jack N’ Jill’s, Eggs Italia at Cafe 222)

Here are some Serious Brunch Rules I have made up for us to abide by, then break later:

1. Brunch starts at 11am and ends at 3pm. Anytime you eat prior to 11am is considered breakfast and reserved for early-risers like grampas and churchpeople. Anytime after 3pm should just be switched to “Thai takeout” because if you are starting your Sunday that late you might as well stay in and Netflix all day in your pajamas, Lazy. (Sounds awesome though)
2. Brunch is always on a weekend, usually after a wild night out. It can also be scheduled as a date to meet with out-of-town pals. You can’t brunch on a weekday so don’t even try to ask.
3. Brunch foods can be either breakfast or lunch items BUT they must be decadent and/or greasy with various carbs and types of cheese.  A side of fruit and oatmeal does not count as brunch, sorry.
4. Brunch should ideally last at least two hours. Let’s be Epicurean for once and just eat, drink, and talk shit for a while. Life is too short to rush our special Brunchtimes with each other.
5. There must be alcohol present at Brunch, obviously.
6. Anytime you say you are “going to Brunch” you WILL sound like a big asshole. You might as well be taking tennis lessons at the country club afterwards with James Spader’s character from Pretty in Pink, Preppy (A.C. Slater voice.) But it’s okay because you’re going to Brunch so screw everyone else, right?

(Now please tell me your favorite places and foods to brunch at and upon so I can make a master Brunchbook that we will pass around underground like the assholes that we are.)

God this beef was SO GOOD

Tonkatsu (pork cutlet with shredded cabbage) See that swoop of mustard? Didn’t know it was going to be so hot and my cheeks started trembling. We agreed it was the most traumatic thing I ate during the whole trip.

Noodles! (think this was Ramen)

Lots of Gyoza

Japanese Curry with Chicken Cutlet

Daikon in various ways (some kind of sea moss or something on the top here?)

Jellyfish (looked like grapefruit and was crunchy)

HORSE (taste was fine but the thought of eating My Little Pony was a bit unnerving)

Cow tongue ( I know you can get tacos lengua here in CA but I have this rule: Do not eat anything I can french kiss. I just imagine this tongue in my mouth swishing around and not in the sexy way. But I tried it anyway and after chewing this rubber for a whole minute and still wasn’t able to swallow it. I was fearful I was just going to spit it out, but I conquered! Eyes were a little watery. Thankfully I had a giant MUG of vodka to help it go down.

And lastly, Nato (fermented soybean with a sticky icky texture, mixed with mustard and some sort of sauce. Baby girl could NOT do this one: reminded me of a scene in Problem Child 2. Props to Emi who said it was similar to gorgonzola)

Now treats to cleanse your eyes…

Cupcakes upon our arrival to Tokyo (thanks Nate!) These were so soft and delicious.

Ramune!!

Cute donuts that came in a variety of toppings and melted in your mouth!!

Ice cream to cool us off at Ghibli! I had banana!

Daikon again! This time with ice cream (I prefer it this way to the sea moss tower)

Oh GAWD cross between an ice cream /snow cone. I’m in LOVE

ahhh let me taste the beers of your country!

My absolute favorite thing I ate in Tokyo. I had the BIGGEST sweet tooth over there btw. Crepes from Angels Heart in Harajuku!

Come to me cheesecake caramel delight!

And now I must go on a diet. Which is hard because you know how I missed me some tacos. Would you eat any of these things? Horse? Jellyfish? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve eaten?

With Spring comes a certain other kind of fever aside from Spring HORN: the kind of urge that makes you want to clean out everything from your desk at work, YOUR DARK SOUL and your messy closet. Figuring out what to do with old clothes can be overwhelming, so yours truly is here to offer you tips on how to clean out your closet and throw a little swap party afterwards! Not THAT kind of swap party you kinky putana, unless you want to hit two birds with one stone, (WHAT?) but the kind that results in a new wardrobe all for FREE!

Clothing swap parties should be at least an annual event. It’s not only another nice excuse to spend time with your ladies, but also funner and less stanky than thrifting! (Hopefully). My girls and I have been having impromptu swaps recently, and I have acquired some really cute dresses!

+ Separate your old clothes in three piles: One for the swap party, another for possibly selling on ebay (everyday we hustlin’) and the last for donating to charity.

+ Have an open mind when sorting through your giveaway items. What didn’t work for you might be perfect for one of your girls. Remember it’s all about how you WERK IT.

+ If you haven’t worn a certain item in over a year or so, you should probably get rid of it. There’s a thin line between being sentimental and being a hoarder (I’m guilty of this sometimes too.)

(keeping these FYI)

+ At some point, you’ll come to an item or five that will leave you conflicted. Usually this is an item that you don’t wear as often, yet you have some sort of attachment to. As much of a sentimental person I am, I don’t like holding onto an item that conjures up unpleasant memories. If every time you see a certain dress in your closet and it instantly reminds you of that jerk you dated last year, throw that shit out boo! It’s important to rid of things that hold some bad jujus. On THAT note, don’t tell your girlfriends at the swap party that so and so did YOU KNOW WHAT to you in said dress. (SORRY ABOUT THAT LADIES! Just kidding everyone! well not really.)

+ Know your friends’ bodies. (WINK) On the serious tip, you don’t want to bring a bunch of clothes that nobody will be able to fit into. Everyone should be able to swap with at least one person.

+ Don’t invite too many people. You don’t want to create a Black Friday atmosphere with people throwing ‘bows to get that old Betsey Johnson skirt you’re giving away. If two people want the same thing, encourage a compromise: “this skirt for that top!” Or just flip a coin. Arm wrestle? MUD WRESTLE? Nobody should get all bitchface over clothes! It’s all in good fun!

+ As with any shindiggy, serve refreshments and food. Trying on clothes can be exhausting! We had potato tacos but I also made my girlfriends healthy chicken and veggie wraps to eat for lunch the next day to make up for the taco gluttony. GRAMMA MARIE PACKIN’ YOUR LUNCH. Below is food porn if you are into that. I know you are, I am too so it’s okay.

Lemon Basil Pesto Mayo (as lowfat as I could get it!, next time I might try mixing in greek yogurt instead)

Cilantro Chicken Delishisness with Onions and Bellpepper

Added in Avocado, Spring Mix and Goat Cheese (Nicki and my latest favorite cheese)

The finished dish in a whole wheat wrap! Of course you can omit the chicken and add more veggies if you have a vagatarian bff like I do.

Have fun!

Related Posts:

+ How to Find Treasure in a Room Full of Tack
+ On the Search For the Perfect Retro Bathing Suit: The Sequel
+ Sprung on Spring
+ My Obsession With Red Shoes

I love me some tacos. Soft shell, hard shell, from a truck, costs a buck. I’ll try any taco anytime (no euphemisms today, my friends). My favorite is machaca aka shredded beef in a crunchy shell and El Coyote is my long-standing favorite for that. I also have a strong affinity for a good potato taco. My best friend makes the best potato tacos in the world, but I have yet to find a really good potato taco in LA. Any tips?*

BFF potato tacos with my homemade guacamole

Would you try a taco with an adventurous filling? I’ve tried ostrich but I won’t eat any lengua though.  That is too kinky VOM for me. I don’t want to eat anything used for frenchin’. I judge mexican restaurants on their salsa and their tacos. It’s serious business. During the tipsy after hours, I’ll take a Jack in the Box taco (2 for 99 cents) a Del Taco taco (lovin’ that pico de gallo bo) or even a Taco Bell Taco IF I HAVE TO. (Seen above). I’m at about 65 for the taco tally. Who wants to buy me my 69th taco this year? After that I ain’t gonna tally no more.

Taco cosmetics purse from Fred Flare

The next addition to our food costume collection? Watchu think?

*Taco tips can be sent to marie[at]agentlover.com

I also made heart-shaped macaroni and cheese and homemade pesto. FILLED WITH LOVE FOR MY BOs. The recipe I use is Nancy Reagan’s Mac N’ Cheese but I tweak the recipe and add cream cheese, otherwise it’s too dry.

* 1/2 lb macaroni
* 1 teaspoon butter
* 1 egg, beaten
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon dry mustard
* 3 cups sharp cheddar cheese, grated (I used a cheddar, jack and colby mix)
* 1 cup milk
* 2 oz cream cheese

Boil macaroni in water until tender and drain thoroughly.
Stir in butter and egg.
Mix mustard and salt with 1T hot water, and add to milk.
Add cheese, leaving enough to sprinkle on top.
Pour into buttered casserole; add milk, sprinkle with cheese.
Bake at 350°F for about 45 minutes or until custard is set and top is crusty.
THEN MANGIA MANGIA!

Heart-shaped noodles are perfect this recipe (holds the cheese in well) but hard to find this time of year. The one I used was a Valentine pasta from World Market. However, I did find this company that makes a variety of fun pastas year-round. Here’s some heart-shaped!  Halloween pasta for your gawth lover, Bicycle pasta for all you bike people, Girlfriends pasta?! Cat Lovers pasta for your crazy cat friends and Star of David pasta for a sexy Jew. I added my homemade pesto to the macaroni and cheese and it came out SO DELISH.

I love my Hello Kitty apron. Can you count the stains? The dress is from the Jovovich-Hawk for Target line, shoes and belt from Charlotte Russe and the headband is from Forever 21.

And lastly, my ladies and I In the finest of faux furs…

Hope your Halloweaster was just as lovely!

Last year or so, I cut back on going out to eat for lunch while at work, which allowed me to explore the wonderful world of bento boxes. I have collected several Hello Kitty bentos; the first one I received through a swap from a Flickr friend who was attending school in Japan. After that I was hooked on the cuteness. I’d scour the different Flickr groups and be amazed at how into it some Bento fans are. As all twenty-something going on twelve-years-old girls like myself, I go crazy over kawaii-cuteness so a sandwich that looks like a panda is going to entertain me.

The problem with the Hello Kitty bentos I have is that they are not microwaveable, so I was only able to pack salads or fruit in them. For a long time, I had considered getting a Mr. Bento or a Laptop Lunchbox, both microwave-friendly and ideally-sized for hardcore lunch packers. After much debating and researching [yes this is SERIOUS], I decided on a Laptop Lunchbox, in pink of course. Since I started using this bento a couple months ago, I’ve been packing healthy foods and have already lost ten pounds! YEAH! It feels so good to eat healthy. Of course it is a struggle, as I do love my booze, burgers and Jack in the Box Cheddar Potato Wedges on a drunken Saturday night. And they ain’t got no bento for that, honeys.

Now, Bento can become an expensive habit if you are truly serious about it. There are tons of accessories like molds, condiment holders and separators to think about. I have a couple of accessories myself, but I don’t mold my food into some scene from The Little Mermaid because I am too lazy and the thought of eating hot pink rice makes me VOM. I appreciate those who do though, as I believe cooking is a form of art, and bento-making is in a class all by itself.

Photo by bento lunch

Aside from saving the world and my health with my bento, I almost always carry a reusable water bottle. I got annoyed at having thirty half-empty water bottles in my backseat all the time. Such a fucking waste. Of course there’s that whole plastic scare as well, so don’t settle on that unsafe pink bottle they sell at the 99. There are several bottle options that adhere to the plastic safety guidelines such as Sigg or Klean Kanteen. The bottle I use is actually from Rite Aid and only about six bucks. I also stopped going to Starfucks every day, and instead have opted to make my own coffee to bring to work. I still have to find a good thermos though, as the one I’m using leaks all over my shit and has a picture of a chicken that says “Our Chickens Don’t Do Drugs.” BLOL. Nubby Twiglet actually has a great and informative post about the pros of using the Sigg thermos to carry her Chai lattes.

For more Bento craziness here are some of my fave hot links :

+ Bento Boxes Flickr Group

+ Mr. Bento Porn

+ Diet Bento

+ Lunch in a Box

+ Bentos at J-List

+ Cheap Bento Boxes and Accessories at Ichiban Kan!

I got the idea for the cupcakes from this wonderful lil’ blog and wanted to try it out on the second best day to celebrate the undead, Easter! Afterwards, I headed over to the bff’s for steak, mimosas and Monster Squad to complete the celebration. It seems I associate Easter with monsters remembering I made a monster-themed Easter basket for an ex bf a couple years ago. Perhaps this is some sort of subconscious tradition!

Let’s laugh at this embarrassing fifth grade diary entry from the time I was obsessed with Monster Squad:

Oh, Monster Squad, you’re right up there with The Goonies for me.

It’s interesting watching kids movies from the 80’s and comparing them to the ones now. Back then, they got away with twelve-year olds spewing profanity, ogling tits and even some violence under a sweet PG-13 rating. These days people make such a big deal out of everything. Kids are hearing and seeing worse on the playground and the internet anyway! People are so stupid. I want to get into a time machine and become preggo back then so my kid can grow up on John Hughes movies and learn how to breakdance. Hmm, maybe I just want to give birth to a breakdancing version of myself. Anyway, I digress.

Let’s take a look at some scenes from the movie that you will most likely never see on kid-friendly films today.

Kids with guns! A dad lighting up a cig in his house in front of his son! And Rudy’s smoking a cigarette too. BTW, Ryan Lambert is still one hot mutha. This part is still badass years later and you know it:

Straight gangsta. There was also profanity o’ plenty from the kids in this movie that you will surely never see nowadays. Imagine Harry Potter saying something like “Fuck off, Malfoy.” Sigh. I’m so nostalgic lately.