The TEN winners of the Agent Lover Loves Milani Cosmetics giveaway have been chosen! The following list of winners were drawn using random.org. Winners: please email me at marie [at] agentlover.com with your mailing address! Hope you enjoy your new lipstick and nail polish! We are going to be a gang of pink-lipped ladies! What should we call ourselves??!

Thank you to everyone else who entered and as always keep your eyes peeled for more giveaways because I LOVES TO SPOIL YA BOO BOOS! I’ll be doing another one on Monday so come back for that one!

LUCKY LADIES:

1. Kysbel of makeuptemptations
2. Sarah of Fash Flood
3. Mary of missemmamm
4. Danielle of See, Shop, Love
5. Michelle Renee of Garden Rookie
6. Ashe Mischief of Dramatis Personae
7. Meg Hocking of Party4Pennies
8. Blair of Blair Necessities
9. Cassandra of The Golden Orchid
10. Amelia Hart of Amelia Butter

For those of you who are wondering what lipstick I was wearing in this post, It’s Rose Hip by Milani from their Color Perfect collection! And guess what…I’m giving it away! We can be lipstick twinsies!

Milani is one of my absolute FAVORITE cosmetics companies right now. I’ve been a fan of their nail polish for quite awhile, and they have definitely found their way into my basket during Girlcrack trips to Target more than once. You might even call Milani’s nail polish Girlcrack as well! Recently I’ve been trying their other items, including their lipsticks. I’ve been testing hot pink shades here and there, but when I found Milani’s Rose Hip, I knew I was in love. And for me to stray from my traditional red shades with another color more than once, you know this love is SERIOUS. Since I’ve been gettings tons of comments and questions about my sexy hot pink lipstick, I wanted to hook up with Milani so they could hook my boo-boos up!

All of this can be yours….

Not only am I giving away Rose Hip but a few of my other current favorites: Their HD Advanced Lipcolor which is PHENOMENAL. I know the blogosphere has been going bananas over Revlon’s Lip Butters, but in my opinion, Milani’s HD Lipcolor takes the cake for that ultra moisturizing sheer look with a touch of color.  I’m a TAD obsessed with finding the perfect “gym lipstick.” I KNOW. GO AHEAD AND LAUGH. HAVE YOUR CHUCKLES. But the HD Advanced in Candy Apple is what I’ve been sporting when I do my planks (hatechu planks) and chest presses. I seriously look like a resident of the MURDER HOUSE if I don’t wear something on my lips so this is perfectshia. I also wanted to give away my current favorite pink nail polish, Tropical Fiesta, as well as their AMAZING One Coat Glitter polish in Gold Glitz.  And that’s not all! Not only are we giving away these four items, but to TEN WINNERS! So you have ten chances to win! Unfortunately the giveaway is only open to those of you in the US and Canada. I’m sorry my foreign sistas! I promise to do another giveaway soon that everyone can participate in.

So leave a comment, telling me your favorite lip or nail shade, and if you’re already a Milani fan, I’d love to know what products are your favorite! I will also give extra entries to those who tweet about the contest so when you leave a comment, let me know if you do dat! Contest ends Thursday night and I will choose the winners randomly on Friday! Good luck m’ladies!

As some of you know, my best friend in the whole wide world, Emi, owns a little gift shop in LA called Pygmy Hippo! She’s been getting loads of cute new items in lately so I wanted to share my favorites with you! I’ll be posting my “Pygmy Picks” every Saturday. If you’re ever in the area make sure to stop by and say hello! I might even be in there taking one of my Dressed Obsessed outfit photos! And for those of you who aren’t in LA, Pygmy Hippo also has an online shop where you can find all of these items!

Okay the first minute I saw this Man Eating Tiger Pillow  I knew it was definitely going on the list. How hilarious is this?? Let’s have a closer look….

Isn’t that BRILLIANT?!!? The hippo pillow is just as awesome.

I love LOVE these Felt Forrest Animal Brooches so much that I had to try them on my new pepaw slash Marilyn Whirlwind Northern Exposure sweater…

And for all of you Golden Girls fans (which is basically all of us AND our moms, right?) Do I even have to say anything about why we all need the I Heart The Golden Girls Zine & Post Card ?!?!

And finally, Nostalgia organic soaps and hand lotions! Notice the sweet names too!

You can now also follow Pygmy Hippo Shoppe on Tumblr and Pinterest! (check out her BEAUTIFUL Pinterest…it puts mine to shame!)

When Misikko sent me the pink Hana Professional Flat Iron to review, I was excited since I’d been wanting a new one forever. A good flat iron is important, especially if you have really long horse hair like I do. My hair got real weird these past couple of years. It was always very straight, until about three years ago when I noticed it started drying wavy. And as much as I love a natural curl and half-hoped I would finally wake up with Julia Roberts’ circa Pretty Woman wild locks of life, I was scared that this was not a blessing but the aftermath of years of bleaching and dyeing coming to surface. Then I figured it was one of those ‘getting older’ things, like how my taste buds completely changed and now I really loves me some spicy food. Can you pass the Tapatío? Anyway, remember how I told you I was a Low Maintenance Girl Who Looks High Maintenance? My daily hair ritual is a good example of that. I don’t like spending a ton of time on my hair mostly because, well I got shit to do. But the Hana is FAST. I usually just put some Moroccan Oil in it to help with the frizz then just go to town straightening it. I probably spend five minutes max on doing my hair. So as you can see, I’m pretty much in love.

And yes, that shirt says “Hair Lodi” on it if you were wondering. Not sure why, not sure how, but it do. Thanks to my bro for giving me that shirt!

♥ Thrifted dress, We Love Colors knee socks, shoes from Urbanog,  Rococo Nouveau “Madeline” Collarette, hair clip from Cutie Dynamite ♥

When you are a Low Maintenance Girl That Looks High Maintenance like myself (more on that later) you have to try some new things once in awhile, even though they will annoyingly cause your beauty routine to require more time. I thought this outfit called for a hairstyle that was opposite of my usual cascading 70′s Cher locks (plus it was hot out and I didn’t want to put it in a lazy ponytail) so I decided to finally try what The Others call “Heidi braids” or “Milkmaid braids.” Of course I had my hesitations. Could I, Marie Madeline Lodi, with my natural Pocahontas-like weave pull off a hairstyle that is more  commonly seen adorning the crowns of delicate girltypes such as those found in the pages of Lula? I really wasn’t sold on the idea, but once I came across photos of my two favorites Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz wearing them, I felt I was given the green light. So I lit a candle, prepared my tresses and imagined Javier Bardem guiding my hands braid after braid. After a surprisingly quick effort, I reached SUCCESS!

I look so innocent and freckly here, don’t I? I’m going to practice so the hair tie is better hidden next time. The cute plaid clip is from Cutie Dynamite!

The amazing collar is from Rococo Nouveau, my friend Kristen’s line of collarettes! This one is called the “Madeline” so naturally I love it even more! Keep your eyes peeled for an upcoming interview and giveaway from Rococo Nouveau!

I’m also wearing a new shade of red lipstick here! This one is Besame’s “Red Hot.” I usually only fux with MAC and Chanel but I want to branch out and experience some new reds. This one gets my TWO THUMBS UP.

Next time I will attempt to finally conquer Madonna’s Blonde Ambition ponytail. ARE YOU READY!?!? I’m going to have to prepare even more for that one, like soak my hair in virgin tears and play “Express Yourself” backwards.

Being a girly girl (with some dude-like tendencies), the makeover montage has to be one of my favorite types of movie scenes. Usually consisting of a bespectacled bookworm turning into a hottie homecoming queen, the trick to success lies in the colorful sequence of makeup, hair and wardrobe chaos, as well as the perfect choice of song to accompany it. Now that you’re probably too scared to go to sleep due to Ashe’s list of scary movies, it’s time to sit back, relax and ease your mind with my Top Ten Makeover Movie Scenes! I’ll be right back though, gotta use the restroom. ::freezes all of your bras:::

Earth Girls Are Easy - I’ve talked about our favorite movie before, but this has one of the best beauty salon makeover scenes ever caught on film. The nails are did, the hair is bleached and and our favorite alien-loving, Olympic archer Geena Davis goes from Top Ramen mop top to California sunshine blonde. The makeover doesn’t last long, but the scene is a must watch!

Jawbreaker -  First of all, I know some of you have wondered “Why hasn’t Jawbreaker been meticulously examined on Agentlover.com yet? Was it not one of the most important 90′s teen movies ever?” Sorry my dudettes, it’s really only because I have a stolen bootleg Blockbuster VHS and keep forgetting to Netflix it. FYI I didn’t steal this tape, I think…ANYWAY I’ll have the full film up soon. But right now, let’s talk about Fern Mayo aka one of the best nerd names I have ever heard. This makeover is particularly impressive because it’s not a simple “get contacts and brush her hair”-type of makeover. She goes through a total transformation!

She’s Out of Control - Tony Danza’s geeky daughter played by Ami Dolenz, ditches her bottlecap glasses for a walk on the wild side of teenage life. Her post-makeover reveal is unforgettable. She practically floats down the stairs in slow motion to Frankie Avalon’s “Venus,” which basically is what happens every time yours truly walks down a flight of stairs as well. (o)(o)

Never Been Kissed – Drew B. plays a journalist who gets a second chance at being a teenager when she goes undercover at a high school. Still tormented by her awkward adolescence, she enters a cafeteria scene wearing white feathers, white jeans and an overdone hairdo. This movie gives me total nerd chills which means Drew did a great job as a queen of dorks. She ultimately finds her confidence and ends up in the arms of MR. MICHAEL VAUGHN FROM ALIAS! That scene where he kisses her and The Beach Boys’ “Don’t Worry Baby” starts playing? I think we all want that moment to happen in our own lives.

She’s All That - There was a time when Rachael Leigh Cook and Freddie Prinze Jr. were the late 90′s versions of Molly Ringwald and John Cusack…just kidding! THEY WISH. Whatta jerk, Marie. It’s ok, because we still gots love for them and long for those days. Luckily we have movies like She’s All That to remind us of Usher’s roots when he was a high school DJ who leads us all into an embarrassing synchronized dance scene.  Rachael’s character had one of those ~easy makeovers~ because all she did was chop her long weave into a bob and get contacts and a pushup bra. That’s actually the same makeover I had in the early 00′s except I got contacts, a Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy pushup bra and grew my Velma bob out. Sidenote: Paul Walker is in this (yes that is my second Fast and the Furious mention this week) as well as none other than Lil’ Kim!

The Devil Wears Prada - At first, I was going to include The Princess Diaries in this list but instead decided Anne Hathaway’s later, plain-Jane-to-pretty-lady movie was better since it’s all about FASH-UN. Anne’s character had an easy makeover as well. She just brushed her hair and was given a closet full of designer threads by Stanley Tucci’s character. HATECHU! Hmm..didn’t he essentially play the same role in Burlesque btw?

Mean Girls - Ah yes, Lohan’s swan song.  Her character was home-schooled in Africa then enters…public high school! Quelle Horror! She makes friends with the popular girls known as The Plastics and adopts their dress code which includes rules such as “Wear pink on Wednesdays and colored shoes on Mondays.” Imagine if people really had dress codes like that…convincing people to wear nothing but dresses, red lipstick, winged eyeliner and bangs…HOW RUDE.

Pretty Woman – Remember when thigh-high boots were the jam a year or two ago? Even Madonna and The Real Housewives wore them, but back in the days of Pretty Woman, those shoes would have never been caught near Rodeo Drive! Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) goes from wayward hooker to classy lady with the help of Hector Elizondo and Richard Gere’s wallet. This has the best shopping revenge scene. Snobby store clerks are the worst! Don’t forget…”I say who, I say when, I say HOW MUCH!”

The House Bunny – I wasn’t sure if this was the right movie for me until I saw that scene where Anna Faris does that scary demon voice and said “LEMME WATCH DAT.” Shelley (Faris) gets kicked out of the Playboy Mansion so she becomes a sorority den mother in order to have a place to crash. But the sorority is FILLED WITH NERDS!! To help them attract more pledges, Shelley gives all the girls in the house a Playboy bunny makeover. I especially like Rumer Willis’ bedazzled body brace. Sidenote: Colin Hanks plays Shelley’s love interest. Roswell! Tapatio!

Clueless – Last but not least..we have the crème de la crème of makeover movies: CLUELESS! “Cher’s main thrill in life is a makeover , it gives her a sense of control in a world full of chaos.” With that manifesto, we can only expect a flawless makeover montage. Tai (RIP Brittany) goes from grunge to gorge when she is inducted into Cher and Dionne’s fashion-centric teenage world. I have so much to say about this movie. After all, I was fifteen when it came out! But we will go into deep discussion at a more appropriate time, mi amigas.

If you were in your own makeover montage, what would it look like? What song would be playing?

WELCOME EVERYBODY! It’s time to unveil my first post for the Ashe Mischief and Agent Lover Virtual Slumber Party! This week we will be covering all slumber party-related topics such as beauty, boys, and booze! And to any dudes who are reading this, it’s pretty much like that episode of Saved by the Bell when Zack and Screech bug the girls’ slumber party with a tape recorder to find out who Kelly wants to take to prom. Or you can pretend this is an old-fashioned panty raid. AS YOU WISH, but be careful because you might get hoodwinked and accidentally leave with THESE. Anyway first up is my beauty post dedicated to a classic slumber party activity: GETTING YOUR NAILS DID!

When my girlfriends and I get together, we’ll gather all of our nail polish arsenals for a full-on night of ridiculous manicures. This is a serious thing, complete with heavy toolboxes filled with every manicure tool imaginable as well as refrigerators stocked with more nail polish than food. Obviously there ain’t no playin’ around these parts. Look at this erotic pose we did to show off our sexy talons during a recent ladies night in:

Now, I shall share with you my current choices for suitable slumber party nail polish!

Bright, girly colors are my favorite, so the Anchors Away collection from China Glaze is perfect! And nautical-themed nails would be great to try using the red and blue shades. All you need is a good white polish, like China Glaze’s White on White. I’d love to do something like this tutorial I found on I Love Nail Polish soon!

I am LOVING Urban Decay’s Rollergirl collection. Look at those purples and pinks!! GIVE IT TO ME!

And there’s also Katy Perry’s recent line for O.P.I. I love the multi-glitter but it’s very similar to the Burlesque one I have already. The blue glitter is gorge though! Has anyone tried that Shatter stuff on the right? I haven’t tried anything like that since my teen years.

As always, it’s important to have a variety of decals to add a fun little touch to your manicure. Sephora came out with these Hello Kitty decals not too long ago.

Sally carries SO much nail stuff nowadays! You can easily pick up some lil’ fruits for your fingers!

Do any of you ladies have any favorite nailsdid tips you’d like to share? Or are there any specific nail color collections coming out that we should know about? PLE TELL ME EVERYTHANG! Make sure to head over to Ashe’s blog for her post on cute pajammy-jams! And stay tuned for more Slumber Party posts from the both of us all week!

Ohhhh my gawww you guys. I am super excited for the Vidal Sassoon documentary coming out next month! Vidal is responsible for SO many famous hairdos! He first became a legend in the swingin’ sixties with the haircuts he gave Nancy Kwan and Mary Quant (perfect bangs foreva). Then in ’63, he created his famous “five point cut,” which was first modeled by Grace Coddington (!) and later worn by Peggy Moffitt. He ALSO cut Mia Farrow’s memorable pixie ‘do for Rosemary’s Baby. What famous locks weren’t touched by this mang!

Watch the trailer below and nerd out with me.

Once upon a time, I would always go to this certain Chevron gas station to pick up weekend warrior essentials: string cheese, Smart Water, chicle, etc, and the same cholo cashier would always pay me compliments. BTW props to the latin mangs for having no qualms about giving compliments. Take from their cue dudes! Anyway, one particular evening, I got up to the register and the cholo cashier said, “DAAAMN GIRL. YOU SMELL LIKE CHRISTMAS!” If you know me well, you know I LOVES to smell like DESSERT. No patchouli stank or grandma musk for me, ladies and gents. I like to smell like something right outta the oven. Like a Cinnabun employee. Like a walking funnel cake. Like a gawtdamn bakery! I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was actually smelling my Secret Vanilla Chai deodorant. EVERYTHING DESSERT I TELL YOU. Even my armpits.

My girlfriends and I are always on the lookout for the “yummy smelly good stuff.” I think this started ten years ago when I would religiously use BODY SECRETS Cotton Candy Fantasy that you’d easily find at the local Thrifty’s. Since then, life has consisted of a constant search for the perfect candy-smelling scent. Sidenote: do you remember what perfumes you wore as a baby hoodrat? My fragrance timeline went like this: Love’s Baby Soft -> Exclamation! -> Sunflowers -> CK ONE. I also swear I had this Michael Jackson Moonwalker perfume that came with a star necklace but my Googles have turned up nothing! They did however, reveal this Michael Jackson California Raisin (which has been added to my Amazon wishlist FYI.)

There is this Calgon Marshmallow body spray drugstore delight that my friends and I love. It’s delicious and addicting, but since it’s just a body spray it doesn’t last long. A couple of years ago, Sephora sold a line of dessert-themed fragrances called Eau De Vie but they were discontinued. One of them was called Whipped Cream. I have about half an inch left in a bottle that Reyna gave me for Xmas in 2008 and can’t bring myself to throw it away! Why can’t it come back? Sadly I have not yet found perfumes that mirror these two favorites of mine so I’ve chosen to seek other alternatives. I have been doing this research for over a year! This is SERIOUS BUSINESS! I became a ghetto “nose” aka perfumer the past year smelling EVERYTHING I could get my schnozz on. Reyna told me that the legit “noses” in Paris are pure and do not drink, smoke or eat crazy things, but I don’t believe that one bit…French people are incapable of living such boring lives! Anyway, I wanted to share with you my favorite fragrances that came about during this journey.

1. First off, there is Tokyo Milk. They make yummy scents with names like “I Want Candy,” Let Them Eat Cake,” and my favorite, “Honey and the Moon.” Sweet honey, sugared violet and jasmine are in the fragrance notes of that one. Definitely one to try! You can get these at Beauty Habit.

2. You probably know this already but…Pink Sugar is the probably the #1 legit candy-scented perfume out there right now. It’s really popular at Sephora and deserves its fame because it is truly PERFECTION! But I honestly want more in my dessert smelling world! GIMME MORE MUM.

3. I HATE to admit it, but Kat Von D’s “Saint” might be my new favorite. Reyna gave me a sample of it and it is SUPA DELISHIS. Notes of plum, mandarin, and caramel really make it a yummy scent to wear all day everyday. It’s going to be my next purchase.

The lovely people at Fragrance.net knew I was looking for sweet-smelling perfumes and sent me Marc Jacobs Lola, Viva La Juicy and Hanae Mori to try out.

4. If you haven’t tried Marc Jacobs Lola, it is LOVELY. Its notes include rose, vanilla and ruby red grapefruit giving it that “warm-sweet” fragrance I always go for. Definitely one of my current favorites. I’ve been wearing it everyday. And the bottle is badass!

5. Viva La Juicy is another one I tried and liked. It doesn’t come out as dessert-y as the notes suggest (wild berries , mandarin, caramel, vanilla, and praline) but it makes for a nice everyday choice as well.

6. Hanae Mori is a classic. This is one that’s been around since the early nineties and you can never go wrong with it. It has notes of grapefruit and strawberry. You know..I think grapefruit notes are what bring that warm-sweet kind of scent. I’ve noticed that common denominator in a lot of fragrances I like.

8. Mariah Carey just came out with a new perfume line called “Lollipop Bling“ which is the most hilarious name ever! I had to try it because MARIAH is “our” #1 guilty pleasure and with a name like LOLLIPOP BLING I assumed it was the scent I had been waiting for my whole life. HOWEVER, I’m disappointed in the packaging of this scent, Mariah. You are a circus of a woman and I expect the same level of absurdity in design as well. Instead we are given this mediocrity of a perfume bottle. GO BIG OR GO HOME. Anyway, there are three scents in this line. “Mine Again” has notes of chocolate, magnolia and raspberry, “Honey” has pineapple and honey and “Ribbon” is a blue raspberry scent. I wasn’t able to get samples of these to truly test out at home, but when I checked them out at Macy’s, “Honey” was my favorite so far. I think these are going to come out at RITE AID so we will all easily be able to smell like Nick Cannon’s sugar daddy. JUST KIDDING. I loved Drumline.

7. & 9. There are a couple I still want to try out like Laura Mercier’s Crème Brûlée (warm caramel, spun sugar, French vanilla beans) and Gale Hayman’s Delicious Cotton Candy (orange, bergamot, clementine, cotton candy.)

Even though I found some lovely perfumes to wear my heart still yearns for the ULTIMATE candy/dessert smelling scent. My dream is to someday have a fragrance line where I can create the perfect perfumes that will make cholos everywhere believe it’s Christmas when you walk into the room. I want people to crave birthday cake and donuts everytime I flip my weave. I believe this is a dream that I can achieve. It is only a matter of time!

How do you guys feel about dessert-scented fragrances? If you are OBSESSED like yours truly are there any perfumes I might have missed in my years of research? Lemme know! LUV EWE LOTS.

BEST BLONDE BANGS AWARD: Wanda Woodward

During our blog courtship many of you have asked me about my bangs. How do I get them so straight? Did I give up my firstborn to get such perfect bangs? Well first I must tell you a little about my personal history with bangs aka fringe. Like many little girls, Baby Rie Rie sported bangs as a youngin’…

CROOKED BANGS?! AWW Mama why you gotta play me like dat?!

Through the years, I’d grow them out, but they’d make brief appearances from time to time until fully committing to to my forehead in 2004. My favorite era of bangs was 2005-2006. Look at these photos…those bangs are too fresh. IF I MAY SO SO MESELF. Alas, at my side is my BANGS RIVAL at the time, my boo Nicki.

Since then Nicki has distanced herself from the Society of Bangs with a butch do’ but I wistfully hope for her return to us in the future. I mean please. Look at these bangs. Way better than mine. Come back to reclaim your throne, NICOLE!

There was a time when a CERTAIN SOMEBODY convinced me to grow out my bangs and I followed suit for one year (2006-2007 aka The Dark Age). Someday I will chronicle that very lonely time in a novel titled A Year Without Bangs. This blog was being created during that year which is why my Paperdoll has no bangs, but do not fret! That shall be fixed.

So you might be asking yourself, “Are bangs for me?” That’s a question only you and your loved ones (and forehead) can really answer. If you decide to follow the path of Bangs, I am here to guide you through the training and maintenance that I feel is required for this way of life.

Masuimi Max, another great bangs icon even though this may be a wig lol

You might be wondering what bangs length and style are good for you. Short or long, straight-across or whispy. Personally I like to go short (baby bangs) or super straight with them ending right on top of my eyebrows. Everyone has their own personal ‘bangs-to-eyebrow-ratio’ that is ideal for them. So today I present to you, The Seven Golden Rules of Bangs. I hope they bring you the strength and clarity one must need as a member of the Bangs Society.

Remember, I am here for you my sisters.

SOMEONE I know once cut their bangs with craft scissors and called me for help. I very well know desperate times can call for desperate measures but this is NOT one of those times. You can get a decent pair for about $10 at the beauty supply store or even CVS. Every Bangs Girl must always have a good pair of scissors in her possession. NO EXCUSE!

I know, I know. You’re running late for a date, a show or a seance and those bangs need a trim. I’m sorry Boo, but you’re going to have to put that shit on hold because YOU CANNOT FUCK WITH PRECIOUS BANGS TIME. This is fine art you are about to engage in. Did Da Vinci rush when he painted the Mona Lisa? I don’t think so. ::Googles it:: NO. So hang a “DO NOT DISTURB: BANGS TRIM IN SESSION” sign on the doorknob, light some candles and put on some tunes to serve as your soundtrack to this surgery. I like a bit of 80′s… maybe New Order. Something romantic, mid-tempo and non-distracting. Perhaps even General Public’s “Tenderness.” CAN’T GO WRONG WITH THAT ONE.

EASE IN DERE SON. Start by cutting little by little. I cannot stress this enough. Tie back your weave in a banana clip and comb them suckers down. Make sure they are clean and without product. I find them easier to cut dry rather than damp, that way they won’t shrink up and come out uneven. When you go in for the kill, comb..then cut. LITTLE BY LITTLE! Even those who have years of experience cannot expect to go in like they are Edward Scissorhands. I have been known to do that in the past and ended up with what I call “70′s Satanic Schoolgirl bangs.” Of course that sounds delicious but trust me, you don’t want this shit crooked. OR DO YOU? In that case my words MEAN NOTHING TO YOU. GET OUT!

In the 2005′s, there was an epidemic that hit my crew called Bangorexia. Bangorexia resulted from the immense desire for perfectly even bangs. Some of us went overboard trying to reach this level of perfection and ended up with hideously barren foreheads! This extreme length is not for the faint of heart so always be alert when you are in a session.

You NEVER know what might happen when you are on the field. Wind, rain, makeout sessions. Now that you are card-carrying member of the Bangs Society you better be representing us well at all times. What does this mean? Carry a bangs comb! You can find one for 99 cents! Not one of those short black LICE combs. Scurry! Those give me the coyote shivers. Mary Van Note has a switchblade comb… SIDEBAR WHY DON’T I HAVE ONE MYSELF YET? My favorite bangs comb right now is all gold and VERY BOLD. I also have a pink kids comb with the Marie cat from The Aristocats and many more in my inventory, THANK YOU.

I spray my bangs down with a little hairspray so they don’t get out of place. Reyna taught me this late in my bangs game. If I could tell 24-year old Rie-Rie what I know now, I’d say “Listen b, you better cement that shit down because you are going to be dancing to “Common People” at Bang tonight and you are going to look like a SWEATY HOT MESS.” Also, blow-dry them DOWN and very hot if you are a newbie and need to train your bangs to stop parting. And if I want them more full/Bettie Page looking, I blow-dry the sides of them which plumps up the middle. If I’m sporting my bangs on the longer side, I flat iron them so they are super straight.

Finally, if you are going to have bang game you better have eyebrow game to match! Nothing makes me feel more in tune with the Universe than when I have a fresh bang cut and a newly waxed brow. That combo is UNSTOPPABLE. Like Crockett and Tubbs, Cagney and Lacey and Grey Goose and grenadine!

Remember ladies, the path to Perfect Bangs can be discovered once you harness The Power. Like with many other things in life, practice makes perfect. Just believe in yourself and I know you too will reach Bangs Nirvana.

Photo by Miss Hearse

♥ I’d like to end this Bangs Bible Study by saluting some of my favorite fellow Fringe Sisters: Mary Van Note, Miss Hearse, Loulou Loves You, White Lightning, Mademoiselle Robot, Susie Bubble, I Liked Ginger, Vintage Vandalizm, SlackMistress and Queen Michelle…GREAT WORK LADIES! ♥