90′s Style Icons: Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead

ALRIGHT. Watch yourself. I don’t want anyone to fart from the excitement that I am FINALLY offering my magical commentary and thoughtful analysis on one of the best movies from my youth…Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead starring Kelly Bundy aka the Christina Applegate of our eye!!!

We first meet Sue Ellen and her familia. Yes, “Sue Ellen” is a very Little House On The Prairie-sounding name but she is a COOL TEEN who likes to hang out with her friends, go shopping and dabble in a bit of the ol’ fashion design.

Ok, why didn’t any of my friends have convertibles when I was in high school? They’ve always looked so glamorous and fun, and so ~California~. I always seem to get cars with sunroofs. Perhaps that was my subconscious giving me a low-budget alternative. I’m sure the reality of a convertible probably isn’t as exciting. Bugs in your teeth, hair forever tangled, jacked up sunburns. Sigh.

Sue Ell’s mom is going to Australia for two months, leaving her five children behind. Excuse me, but WHAT? Do people do this IRL? I obviously ain’t nobody’s momma yet, but I am still about to call child protection services on dis B! She leavin’ her kids for that long so she can what, get some Cockadong Dundee in the wetlands of Australia??? What’s going on here. Okay, let me calm down. Back to the story at hand. So, mom hires a STRANGER to watch her house and chillunz while she is away. This old lady:

Sorry, but if I saw this chupacabra at my door, I would jump right into my velcro Pro-wings and RUN LIKE HELL. Haven’t you seen Poltergeist?

GET THAT CADAVER OUTTA MY FACE!!!!!!!

As we all expected, the babysitter turns out to be a demon woman! Then she dies….(from a heart attack, nobody killed her FYI)

After covering her with my old raver pants, aka a California Raisins bedsheet, the kids take the cryptkeeper’s body to the morgue. Problem? These muthas forgot to check the old hag for the CASH MONEYS their mom had left for them before (anonymously) dropping off the body..

WHAT ARE WE GON’ DO?!?!?!?

Sidenote: my #1 favorite character in the film is their pet corgi, Elvis. In this scene he says “huh?” in dog talk. I rewinded it three times.

They were watching the vintage version of Draw Something. I know you are all wondering if a girl like me has ever engaged in some Draw Something and I did, for two whole days. For me, that was impressive. Of course not as impressive as the unnamed friend of mine whose highest amount of active games was with 42 people.

I also love Keith Coogan as the metalhead-turned-gourmet chef brother.

Meanwhile..Sue Ellen has to make some cash to put food on the table! So after a failed stint at a chili dog joint (where she meets a HUNKY HUNK) she focuses her efforts on something of more interest to her personally…..FASHION.

I had to screencap the résumé Sue Ellen cooked up. Fake it ’til ya make it, girl!

She isn’t greeted very warmly by the Devil Wears Prada-esque receptionist.

Especially since Sue Ellen gets the job as Executive Assistant! I love her boss…I’m right on top of that, Rose!

OOH SHE A WORKIN’ GIRL NOW!

I still have major bang pangs for Agent Mulder. He plays a chismoso here.

Eventually the world’s greatest fashion show happened:

And NOW let us discuss how stylish Sue Ellen is throughout the film. Look at them silver stax!

I am really into this red floral jumpsuit (?) and green Docs situation. A couple years after this movie came out I really wanted a pair of Docs but my shoes were always ‘Payless special.’ How stoked was I to find imitation maroon docs at Kmart!? (I also got imitation Birkenstocks that I wore with socks FYI.) In high school I finally got legit Doc Martens. But fuck they made my feet look huge. I swear they look ok on everyone else but they look like dude Lugz on my feet. WHY? Is it ME? Is it my EYES? Anyway.

Man, I still have to finish watching Friday Night Lights! Someday I’ll come back to it. Also, Jules datchu?

Why am I really obsessed with this GIANT WITCH’S SHOE BELT BUCKLE? I think it would have went great with my Flygirl/Selenas costume, don’t you?

I pretty much want to screencap all of her brother’s bedroom.

CLOTHESTIME!!!!!!!!!!

You are correct. This shot of her Docs and a Mama Celeste pizza is the most inspiring photo of my 2012 so far.

22 comments

1 Ashe @ Ash in Fashion { 04.26.12 at 5:19 pm }

YESSSS <3 <3 <3

God, I think 13 year old Ashley and Marie would have had THUH BES SLUMBER PARTIES EVAH.
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2 Celisse { 04.26.12 at 6:34 pm }

You have inspired me to watch this TONIGHT. Netflix here I come.

3 Nina { 04.26.12 at 8:37 pm }

I always get so excited for your 90′s style icons posts

4 vanessa { 04.26.12 at 9:28 pm }

you crazy puta, I just laughed so hard oliver jumped off the bed and ran for the hills! LOVING THIS SO MUCH!

p.s. Have you seen the mexican blanket print kelly bundy dress at target? my kingdom for a flat tummy to pull it off!

p.p.s. I have those green docs!
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5 Danielle { 04.26.12 at 10:56 pm }

Ok you’re about to lose all respect for me but I have never seen this movie! I don’t even know why, I guess the opportunity never presented itself. I will have to get to watching so I can be back in your good graces.

Also, my husband got a convertible before we got married and I friggin hate that piece of crap. Water leaked into the body of the car through the convertible part, so every time you’d stop, water would slosh around inside the body. It also has a leak somewhere, so when it rains, it floods, which ruined the stereo (which is underneath the seat for some ungodly reason). So it’s been non operational, sitting in my parents’ driveway for like 3 years and he just finished paying it off, now he’s probably going to scrap it. Not very glamorous.
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6 Rachael { 04.27.12 at 12:06 am }

Giiiiirl you just named the second film for my upcoming Girls Night In Double Feature Movie Night ~ I love this flick!

7 Sara { 04.27.12 at 7:12 am }

Further proof this is one of my favourite blogs!
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8 marie { 04.27.12 at 10:08 am }

was it ths Cockadong Dundee? lol

9 Piper Alexander { 04.27.12 at 12:24 pm }

Oh shit, I love this movie! I was just thinkin’ of it the other day when I pulled some money out the “petty cash” box. It would be difficult to do what she did w/my petty cash situation – there’s currently $3 in there.
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10 mary { 04.27.12 at 12:39 pm }

God I love this movie. It’s so crazy that you wrote this post when you did because I was thinking of this movie just yesterday!
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11 Mary { 04.27.12 at 3:19 pm }

luv, luv, luv, one of my favorite movies!
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12 Nina { 04.28.12 at 1:16 am }

Can you link to the Kelly bundy dress? This is relevant to my interests.

13 marie { 04.30.12 at 4:48 pm }

Don’t worry Danielle, I shall NOT hold it against you but ple watch it right away!! It’s so great. And shit that convertible story sucks balls I’M SAWRE! Maybe I can rent one for one day so I can get it out of my system!

14 marie { 04.30.12 at 4:48 pm }

Woo hoo! What are you screening it with?

15 marie { 04.30.12 at 4:49 pm }

:) Thanks for reading Sara!

16 marie { 04.30.12 at 4:49 pm }

GIRRLLLL I think of the same thing when I handle petty cash. !!!! So funny.

17 marie { 04.30.12 at 4:50 pm }

WELL I AM NOT SURPRISED AS WE ARE LINKED BY OUR SOULS, MM

18 marie { 04.30.12 at 4:50 pm }

You have good taste m’lady! :)

19 marie { 04.30.12 at 4:50 pm }

Shit girl it’s not on Instant! but I figured you found that out already. :(

20 marie { 04.30.12 at 4:51 pm }

YES!!!!!! Also WHYYY do your comments STILL go into SPAM!! :(

21 Celisse { 05.03.12 at 7:36 pm }

Its on MaxGo, which is even better!

22 diana { 05.08.12 at 7:42 pm }

note to self: start using “chupacabra” as an insult on a regular basis.

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