One of my life’s regrets is never having BIG. BEAUTIFUL. VOLUMINOUS! WILD!!! 90’s HAIR. I was always stuck with flat, super straight AZN hair and got ~ JEALOUS EYES ~ whenever I saw ol’ Jules whipping around those ginger curls in Pretty Woman or Cindy Crawford drinking Pepsi with a luxurious, full, mane. Nowadays all those ladies get Brazilian blowouts or some shits so we can agree that the tables have turned, especially since my hair is not as straight anymore (though it obviously hasn’t reached Cree Summer status or anything.) One of these days I’ll put on my labcoat and Google exactly why our hair can change texture as we age.

I MISS DEEZ LADIES AND THEIR MAGNIFICENT, UNRULY ‘DOs

Yes, I know Madonna was clearly wearing a fall at the 1995 VMA’s, but it is also one of my favorite looks of hers. I had a lot more to chat about regarding this night but I started going totally off track (like yooj) so I copy and pasted it into another draft titled I Miss Slutty Madonna Part 2. So keep your eyeballs peeled for dat one. YOU ARE WELCOME.

DAMN BITCH!! Felicity is probs the REAL QUEEN of the Wild Curl Girls of the Nineties. That’s exactly why the world revolted when she cut it into a Brillo pad. Poor ting.

DAME MARIAH!!!!!!!!

JULES…we meet again…

This is one of my favorite Julia Roberts pictures, next to this one because #1 who the fuck suit you borrowing, Julia? Is it Richard’s? Keif’s? Lyle Lovett’s???

Anna Nicole had great LOCKS as well.

You know I had to end it with Noxzema!!!!!