Posts from — January 2012
HELLO…sorry I have been SO quiet this week but my internet has been acting like an asshole lately so I’m behind on everything. BALLS. Anyway, I took a quick trip with Leyla to San Diego last weekend to get some work done on my car and see my new baby neph, Grant! While we were walking around Little Italy, I made Leyla snap a photo of my outfit even though you’ve seen this dress a couple of times before. Have you noticed that I put that bow on everything? It just makes everything better. One day I will do a post in celebration of that BOW.
Outfit deets: vintage dress from Solvang, CA. knee socks c/o We love Colors. The flats are nothing special. You know I’d rather be in some heels but I was trying to pack light for once in my life!
And look at my cute blondie nephew Mason! Remember when he was just a little niblet?? Now he is growing up and STYLIN’. Outfit is all from Baby Gap.
AND NOW THE MOMENT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR….using trusty random.org I have chosen the winners for last weeks Rhonda Shear and Just Say Julie giveaways! The chosen ones are…. for the Rhonda Shear contest: #17, miss corazones rojos and for the Julie Brown contest: #13, Monique Catalina. CONGRATULATIONS M’LADIES! Please email me at marie[at]agentlover.com with your mailing address. Thank you to everyone who entered and as always, stay tuned for more giveaways!
January 20, 2012 2 Comments
I knew Rhonda Shear very well from her days as the host of USA Up All Night, a weekly series from the late 80′s and 90′s that showed tons of B-movie classics. I probably don’t even have to mention that it was/is definitely one of the biggest sources of inspiration for me and this here blog! Rhonda was kind of like Elvira: sexy, funny, had great cleavage, and introduced many cult faves such as Surf Nazis Must Die and 976-EVIL. Nowadays, Rhonda makes AMAZING BRAS! When her company contacted me to see if I wanted to try out anything from her line, I quickly said yes since I was a huge fan of Up All Night and someone with that kind of magnificent cleav is definitely someone I can trust with Thelma and Louise (o)(o).
from left: Breathless Twist and VaVaVoom Pushup
And great news my boos…we are also doing a giveaway! You can win both of these bras so we can be BRA TWINZ! Just leave a comment below and I will select a winner randomly next Friday (along with the winner of the Julie Say Julie giveaway.) To make it even MORE fun, in your comment also let me know if you have a nickname for your own blessed pillows. Do you call them Mary Kate and Ashley? Chang and Eng? Turner and Hooch? Make sure you also “Like” Rhonda’s Facebook page and follow her on Twitter!
Here’s a video of Rhonda doing her thing on Up All Night!
I heard they are bringing Up All Night back on the air? Could this finally be MY CHANCE of my dream job??? Imagine…
January 13, 2012 57 Comments
Like many of us, I grew up loving shows about the wealthy and their ESCANDALO ways. Dynasty was obviously a favorite even though it was for adults, and there was the more kids-oriented Beverly Hills Teens. By 1992, I was in junior high and deep into the Brenda/Dylan/Kelly love triangle on Beverly Hills, 90210. Yet, I craved even MORE scandal. MORE DRAMA! Luckily Swans Crossing, a soap opera directed at tweenz like me, came along.
Way before Sarah Michelle Gellar became Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she played teen ultrabitch Sydney Rutledge in Swans Crossing. No wonder she was so good at portraying the EVIL Kathryn in Cruel Intentions later on! Sydney had a Romeo and Juliet-type affair with the hunk in pleated pants next door, Garrett Booth, until they broke up and it turned into a sort of hatecrush obsession.
Garrett was played by Shane McDermott, who all of you rollerblading aficionados might remember from the cinematic artwork, Airborne. There were other famous faces who got their start in Swans Crossing, including none other than Romy herself, Mira Sorvino. And Brittany Daniel, one of the Sweet Valley High twins (who I also remember from The Basketball Diaries with Leo Dicap) was new girl Mila, the whora that came between Garrett and Sydney. I was so jealouz of that b Mila. Her bedroom had a bunch of TVs on the wall that showed Kriss Kross videos, a headboard with a BEAUTIFUL painted swan, some crazy giant pink rhinoceros desk thing that held her BOOMBOX, and even her own pet cockatoo. BLEH HATECHU MILA
I kept thinking the guy on the bottom was blind, but I guess he just wore those cool guy sunglasses all the time for fun.
Clearly there were some amazing fashions displayed in the episodes of Swans Crossing. It was the early nineties after all. To be honest, I believe a part of my love for nautical style was influenced by Sydney. There was an episode where she wore a captain’s hat and I remember wanting it SO BAD then got all pissed off when my friend found out I wanted it and waltzed in wearing her stupid captain’s hat she got from Sea World. WHATEVER. I keep going through YouTube looking for a screencap of the hat (probably why it’s taking me so long to finish this post…) but no luck. I did come across one of the best Swans Crossing playlists I’ve seen online so far. They also have the slumber party episodes, which were my fave.
I would also try to emulate my hair pretty often to look like Sydney’s. People forget how great 90′s hair was, but I NEVA do…
I wonder what kind of ESCANDALO went on behind the scenes…
Thank you Life.com for having this photo in your archives…
Watch this commercial so you can see how ridiculous/awesome this show was!
ps. Thank you to STEVEN who came up with the name of my new NOSTALGIA column: “Ooh That Was My Jam.” IT IS PERF!
January 13, 2012 8 Comments
That’s right ladies…I am back with everyone’s favorite column… Dear Menz! Throw your bras in the air in celebration! This time I went a lil’ bit WILD and started a “Sexy Pizza Edition,” which means along with the usual topics of sex and romance, we’ll be talking about our favorite vegetable… PIZZA! I thought it might be a fun idea since pizza IS an aphrodisiac….right? Anyway, let’s get down to business. Today’s special guest hunk is Zak Waters, a singer- songwriter from LA whose soulful dance music is so goddamn sexy, you will probably get pregnant just from reading this interview. He also thinks Frankenflops are a “crime against humanity.” Naturally I wanted to harass this cool menz…
What’s the sexiest thing a girl does to turn you on?
When I sing the three sweet words “Ain’t nothing wrong…” and she chimes in “with a little bump and grind…”
Where have you had the best sex of your life?
My bed. Sounds boring, but the whole “sex in weird places” just isn’t my thing…it’s too distracting. It’s exciting for about two minutes and then I start to get irritated. Nothing like the soft and spacious feel of a good ol’ fashioned bed.
Where have you have the best pizza of your life?
DiCarlo Pizzeria on Hollywood and Hillhurst. I used to work there. They fired me. But the pizza was really good.
Give me three songs on your Ultimate Makeout Mix.
If you could make your DREAM PIZZA, what would be on it?
Cheese and sauce…I’m a pretty simple guy.
Boobs or booty?
Boooty Boooty Boooty all day…every day.
Betty or Veronica?
Are we talkin’ Real Housewives of Orange County? I’d have to go with Veronica.
Can an item of clothing a girl wears REALLY turn a guy off? I know the answer is NO so don’t even try to play…
Ok I can def play this one. My friends always tease me about how picky I am about these kind of things when I’ve gone on dates. It really bugs me when girls wear high heels that are too big for them. It just gives me the impression that they borrowed them from their mom or something. One time a girl wore a grey fur vest with a cut-up Mötley Crüe t-shirt underneath and of course some flesh-colored pumps that were def a size too big. Now did it turn me off completely? No, not quite. It was the Gigapet adorning her keychain that did me in….
What kind of pizza turns you OFF?
I’d have to say garlic. I mean, I love it just like anyone else, but there’s nothing sexy about garlic breath…
January 11, 2012 7 Comments
HELLO I AM BACK FROM MY HOLIDAY HIATUS. Miss me? I know I did. And I have even more great news…it’s time to celebrate the FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF AGENT LOVER!!!!Can you believe it? But PLEASE keep your clothes on for now. We will get more into that later! Right now, we will honor my #1 Valley Girl style icon…..JULIE BROWN!!!!!! And no, tis’ NOT Downtown Julie Brown (who OBV I love too) I’m talking about the “hottest little henna head on MTV!” You probs remember Julie from my 2009 Earth Girls Are Easy post, but some of you might have known about her amazing MTV show, Just Say Julie! , which ran from 1989-1992.
When my soul is not transporting itself through time and space, hovering between the candy-colored rooms of the Madonna Inn, the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland and John Stamos’ shower… it time travels to the set of Just Say Julie. The show had Miss Brown hanging out in this amazing Pee Wee’s Playhouse-type space, introducing music videos, talkin’ shit about the popular singers of the time, sassin’ up her guests and basically just acting like a cute ball of craylariousness. One of the biggest reasons why I wish I could astral project/time travel to this time is not only because I want to hang with Julie but there were even MORE brilliant minds involved. The set was designed by Allee Willis who is probably my aunt in another dimension. She has a museum of kitsch (!!!) and collects lipstick-shaped things! I want to talk a lot more about Allee Willis, but I think she deserves her own post! Then there was the costume design. As you can see, Julie’s outfits were brilliant! I wish I could see these dresses and accessories in person! The designer was none other than Mona May, who I had the pleasure of meeting a few years ago. Mona was the costume designer for Clueless aka the reason for most of our EVERYTHING. Obviously, this is some triple-threat greatness right here!
So please take a great gander at the set design and costumes in the screencaps below. And take your time boo, we don’t gots to rush….
THIS SHOW IS BASICALLY MY LIFE’S DREAM!!! Who knows someone at MTV? Can I be the new Just Say Julie? “JUST SAY RIE RIE?? Make my dreams come true and allow this cleavage of mine to blast through your homes and into your bedrooms. GULP
SPEAKING OF DREAMS…OBVIOUSLY I HAD TO SNEAK IN A PICTURE OF MY BELOVED GOLDBLUM!!!!! There he is with his ex, my other favorite redheaded slash talented Olympic archer, Geena Davis. THEY ARE SO TALL! Like two sexy trees!
And here she is with Angelyne who I’m still not sure why I don’t carpool with. I’d definitely save a lot of gas if she’d give me a ride. I wonder what’s in her famous pink Corvette. Is it OCD spotless with strawberry air fresheners hanging inside? Or do she gots Taco Bell wrappers all over the floor (like Queen Latifah TRUE STORY…)? Does she have a dual CD player/tape deck like yours truly? Does she sing along to tunes while she drives? These are the things I think about when I see Angelyne driving around.
Julie and I are SO alike btw. Not only do we have magnificent cleavage, but we are also both OBSESSED with certain DREAMHUNKS! Julie always talks about Jon Bon Jovi on the show and of course my
obsession wee crush on the man some people refer to as Uncle Jesse…but I refer to as SIR STAYMOIST.
YOU GUYS! She even has PRINCE CEREAL…
Let me instagram this…
LOVIN YOU JULIE
I had an idea to make a pincushion hat…THEN I SAW THIS.
You can always catch her fawning over hunks of life like I do. Should we just start a Ladyboner Magazine already? Like a Bop Mag for us grown ladies??? ADD IT TO MY LIST
And Julie also appears to be into one of my favorite sight gags….smokin’ shoes! THIS ALWAYS KILLS ME DED! I am a simple man I tell you.
AND NOW…..A SPECIAL PRIZE! Because I love to spoil you ROTTEN, and to kick off the many more things I’ll be giving away in the next couple of weeks as we celebrate our 4 years together, I’m giving away a Best of Just Say Julie DVD! Just leave a comment and I’ll draw at random next week! Good luck!
January 9, 2012 42 Comments