Rose McGowan, Traci Lords and Shannen Doherty as Valley girls in Nowhere

We may not know the true origin of the “Valley girl” and who uttered the first “Gag me with a spoon,” but we do know that Frank Zappa wrote the song “Valley Girl” based on what his daughter Moon Unit Zappa overheard in the malls as a teenager during the early 80’s. Moon also provided the Valley girl monologue used in the tune…

Thanks to Natalie and Tanya for sharing these vids on Facebook!

With the success of the song, the allure of the “Valley girl” went nationwide. Soon enough EVERYONE wanted a piece of the action and these totally tubular Valley girl guide books were produced!

This collection first started when my friend Esther showed me her copy of Fer Shurr! How To Be A Valley Girl. I kind of became obsessed with it and bought a copy for myself and even my pal, thee Valley dude himself, Uncle Tnuc. I eventually found other books, The Valley Girls’ Guide To Life and How To Deprogram Your Valley Girl by Dr. Lillian Glass, who is a “prominent Beverly Hills speech pathologist.” Although the deprogramming book appears to be tongue-in-cheek, it looks like Dr. Lillian Glass is REAL and has a monthly  column for Cosmo. Obviously we STILL cannot trust her…

The books thoroughly discuss all of the Valley girl characteristics and topics: fashion, makeup, a glossary for Valspeak, dietary advice, types of Val dudes, and even ideas for license plates.

Compare the name lists in these two books…do any of you have a Valley Girl/Dude name? Obviously I do not since my name is always someone’s middle name or the name of an old lady OR a French whore.

Now I’m looking for THIS book so if any of you see it ple DO let me know