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Obsess With Me: Brunch Edition

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Sistadudes, can we finally talk about this IMPORTANT SUBJECT already? Brunch aka “I am too lazy and hungover to make it to breakfast,” is one of my favorite things in the whole world. I know it’s just a corny term you use to eat a late breakfast with your crew (usually the people you hung out with a few hours prior.) This way, you can keep the party going and extend the previous night’s binge-drinking under the guise of “fancy mom drinks” like mimosas and Bloody Mary’s.  Don’t you need some of that el pelo del perro anyway?


(BRUNCHES I HAVE BRUNCHED UPON, clockwise from left: Eggs Florentine at The Parker, Signature Scramble at Grub, Healthy and Happy crepe at Jack N’ Jill’s, Eggs Italia at Cafe 222)

Here are some Serious Brunch Rules I have made up for us to abide by, then break later:

  1. Brunch starts at 11am and ends at 3pm. Anytime you eat prior to 11am is considered breakfast and reserved for early-risers like grampas and churchpeople. Anytime after 3pm should just be switched to “Thai takeout” because if you are starting your Sunday that late you might as well stay in and Netflix all day in your pajamas, Lazy. (Sounds awesome though)
  2. Brunch is always on a weekend, usually after a wild night out. It can also be scheduled as a date to meet with out-of-town pals. You can’t brunch on a weekday so don’t even try to ask.
  3. Brunch foods can be either breakfast or lunch items BUT they must be decadent and/or greasy with various carbs and types of cheese.  A side of fruit and oatmeal does not count as brunch, sorry.
  4. Brunch should ideally last at least two hours. Let’s be Epicurean for once and just eat, drink, and talk shit for a while. Life is too short to rush our special Brunchtimes with each other.
  5. There must be alcohol present at Brunch, obviously.
  6. Anytime you say you are “going to Brunch” you WILL sound like a big asshole. You might as well be taking tennis lessons at the country club afterwards with James Spader’s character from Pretty in Pink, Preppy (A.C. Slater voice.) But it’s okay because you’re going to Brunch so screw everyone else, right?

(Now please tell me your favorite places and foods to brunch at and upon so I can make a master Brunchbook that we will pass around underground like the assholes that we are.)

22 Comments

  • Kate
    June 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    Hell yeah, lady: well stated! My favorite brunch locales (in SF) are St. Francis and Zazie — have you tried either? The former is the best for “I may still be drunk” brunches, the latter for classy brunches.

    Reply
    • marie
      June 29, 2011 at 1:25 pm

      I haven’t!! I did go to that amazing place with the beignets…BRENDA’S!

      Reply
  • tiff
    June 26, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    And that is brunch, ladies and gents.

    I woke up at 11 today, but not because I partied hard or stayed up late, it’s because my body decided to naturally wake up 10 fucking hours later. Though It probably wanted to catch up on all the sleep I’ve been losing for the past couple of days.

    Your post has certainly made me feel even more excited to go on my trip to get a hearty English breakfast today.

    IZ BRUNCH TIME!

    Reply
  • vanessa
    June 26, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    I love brunch! it’s like the soft, padded landing on a hair-raising weekend. mmm… I wanna go back to grub with my senor oliver and sip on champagne cocktails.

    Reply
  • Amy
    June 26, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    I haven’t had brunch since going vegan. It totally doesn’t count when you have to make the brunch yourself.

    Reply
    • marie
      June 29, 2011 at 1:27 pm

      I think you it counts if you go ALL OUT and have a brunch party! I did that with friends once and it was awesome.

      Reply
  • christina
    June 26, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    GAH! Weekend hangover brunch is so crucial! I will add that thrifting / flea market / vintage shopping is the essential post-brunch directive, ESPECIALLY if there is a flea market / thrift / vintage store within walking distance AND you pick up an iced coffee from some other place along the way, even though you just had shit tons of coffee at brunch. Favorite LA spots are Millie’s, Local, The Alcove in Los Feliz, Fred 62, and House of Pies if we’re slumming it…

    Reply
    • marie
      June 29, 2011 at 1:11 pm

      I’ve only tried Fred 62 from that list! Now I am thinking of those mac n’ cheese balls…OMFG

      Reply
  • Rachael
    June 26, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    I like rule #6

    Some really decadent brunches are Sunset Marquis, The Odyssey, POP! Champagne Bar, Wild Thyme and there is someplace my friend Steffie has been to that has a “chocolate brunch” must find.

    Reply
    • marie
      June 29, 2011 at 1:11 pm

      Thanks Rachael! I gotta try deez!

      Reply
  • Celisse
    June 26, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    I am sad to say that I don’t know of any good brunch places here in Miami. I’m sure they exist but I have not bothered to Yelp anything. Also I have a thing against NYC brunch-clubbers. I DON’T KNOW WHY. I HATE THEM.

    I have only had one official brunch in SoBe and it was underwhelming. :’C Crappiest eggs benedict ever.

    Reply
    • marie
      June 29, 2011 at 1:10 pm

      WELL THAT’S A BUMMER 🙁
      yeah again, whenever someone is like “GOING TO BRUNCH WITH BRITNEY AND CYNTHIA! OMG FRENCH TOAST IS DIVINE!” douchey senses develop. I feel you!

      Reply
  • Nancy
    June 26, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    The Alcove in Silverlake, they have some bad ass french toast. Oh and they have the fanciest bathroom eva!

    Reply
    • marie
      June 29, 2011 at 1:09 pm

      I have to try that one! Thanks!

      Reply
  • Leyla
    June 27, 2011 at 10:49 am

    is that that eggs benny we ordered together at the Parker like 3 years ago? Awww – good times!

    Reply
    • marie
      June 29, 2011 at 1:09 pm

      YES! omg dying to go back to PS with you..

      Reply
  • Mary
    June 27, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    This is fun. I hope to one day get brunch whilst visiting NYC (been a couple times but never thought of it until a few months ago). I’ve only lived in areas with greasy spoons to counterattack the hangover (also good).

    Reply
    • marie
      June 29, 2011 at 1:09 pm

      I remember going to Kitchenette in New York !LOOK AT DISdelish

      Reply
  • joe
    June 27, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    If you’re ever in Chicago best brunch places: Toast, Rocking Horse and Café con leche!

    Reply
    • marie
      June 28, 2011 at 1:41 pm

      I WANNA GO TO CHICAGOOOO

      Reply
  • Eli
    June 27, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    As long as there’s bacon, I’m wit it!

    Have you tried Square One on Fountain across the blue Scientology place?

    Reply
    • marie
      June 28, 2011 at 1:41 pm

      I haven’t!! I’ll look it up right now…

      Reply

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