Posts from — March 2011

My Amy Fisher Article On The Hairpin

The Hairpin posted an article I wrote on the THREE made-for-TV movies about the Amy Fisher/Joey Buttafuoco scandal from the early nineties. Ple lurq it here. Maybe you can make a Long Island Lolita cocktail to drink while you read! It could basically be a Long Island Iced Tea but with a single cherry…

March 31, 2011   1 Comment

See By Chloe Poya Satchel: Let Me Love You

Ah. The See By Chloé Poya Satchel. WE MEET AGAIN. I have such an intense heart-on for this bag I would let it get to second base without even buying me dinner first. Well maybe some Jack in the Box 99 cent tacos, a girl has to have SOME dignity, do she not? This bag is perfect…HOWEVER, you all know I am a dreamer of dreams. My fantasy in general for everything in life is for complete customization. If only I could have this bag in red and make the scalloped trim white, as if a Valentine were carrying my belongings. And of course, secret compartments all over the inside (for my bangs switchblade comb, emergency nuts, etc.) Imagine a Build-a-Bear sort of situation for this but instead build-a-bag!

::dazed smile + faraway look in my eyes::

March 29, 2011   5 Comments

I Would Look Really Cute In These Dresses

DREAM DRESSES

Dear Creatures “Gretal”

DREAM DRESSES
Topshop boat print dress

DREAM DRESSES
THIS RACHEL ANTONOFF DRESS AHHHHH  you know this is my jam

DREAM DRESSES
Samantha Pleet - obviously I’d change that to a red belt

vivetta

AND OF COURSE THESE TWO VIVETTA DRESSES OF MY DREAMS!!!!!!!!

vivetta

March 29, 2011   14 Comments

Love Letters To My Outfits From The Past Few Weeks

Melissa and Mike's Bday

Dear Pizza-Lovin’ Flower Child: Some men may react to this look with renaissance fair jokes, but who cares when there’s PIZZA!!!

♥ failed Legend of Billie Jean viewing/ pizza party outfit: Loulou Loves Lou flower headband, pink lace dress from Le Monde, Rodarte for Target tights, JCPenney boots ♥

SF March 2011

Dear Red Hat Society Reject: You might have left your heart (and Star) in San Francisco but you still have two on your feet so make sure nobody steps on your toes!

♥ SF trip outfit: red jacket – gift, vintage dress, $5 sunnies, AMAZING black tights courtesy of We Love Colors (more on them soon!), old flats that I dazzled up with some SEQUIN HEARTS WACHOW NOW ♥ ♥

Emi's Birthday Party

Dear Red Shoe Diaries: Ahh…I see another pair of red shoes to add to your Hans Christan Andersen obsession. On the Shoe Pyramid/Triangle, these would be pretty high up, but please, be careful…this is definitely Spice Girl ankle twisting territory you are in.

♥ Celebrating my bff’s b-day partytime outfit: Cutie Dynamite heart clip, old lace top, the AMAZING black tights c/o We Love Colors again, floral dress from another chola shop, old heart belt! shoes from Urbanog.com aka my new obsession ♥

polkadot

Dear Princess Of Prints: Ever since someone once told you “Only you could get away with that outfit” when you decided wearing giant raver jeans and a patent leather backless halter top (DON’T BE SCARED EVERYONE) was a good idea in 1999, that sentence has remained in your mind to this day…so of course you wouldn’t think twice about mixing a little floral with a little polka dot. And didn’t you say this was your casual rainy day outfit?

♥ My rainy day-slumber party-M.A.S.H. playing-outfit: Levi’s jacket, thrifted dress, lace top from local cholita store, lavender polka dot tights c/o We Love Colors, boots from TJ Maxx. ♥

March 28, 2011   9 Comments

Two Word Movie Review: Sucker Punch

I suggest that when you finally decide to watch this movie (on Netflix four months from now or on TBS three years later), put it on mute and enjoy the view, because it is exactly what you’d imagine if all the Legs Avenue Halloween costumes were given an action film. I swear I didn’t expect much. You know I am a simple man of simple pleasures. Hot ladies in glittering thigh highs kicking ass is all I thought I’d need! But if an E! reality show has more of an intriguing plot…well that can kill anyone’s boner!

Also, If Jean-Luc Godard said that “All you need for a movie is a gun and a girl”, then Sucker Punch is the Calvin sticker that just peed all over that quote.

Edit: A little bit later, I thought of this review in the shower and posted it on Twitter:

March 27, 2011   20 Comments

Sorry For Not Blogging, I’ve Been On Vacation With My New Boyfriend

javierandmehangingout

Hey my boos! Sorry I’ve been a bit M.I.A. the past few weeks. I fell crazy in love Beyonce-style so unfortunately AL has suffered. Don’t worry though… I shall be back in two twists of a smurf’s nipple!

P.S. Please don’t think I’m tacky and less classy if I come back covered in hickeys!

March 22, 2011   7 Comments

Thrift Tour: Palm Springs Edition

thrifttour

~BELATED POST DISCLAIMER~

A couple of years ago I tried thrifting in Palm Springs but was unsuccessful. Still, it left me even more intent on finding the hidden gems of secondhand clothing shops in this desert paradise. When I visited the Ace in the summer, I went to The Living Desert and lo and behold, a copious amount of thrift stores were spotted on the drive down. JACKPOT! When I went back to the Ace a couple of months ago, it was obviously not tanning weather so we decided to do the next best thing…THRIFT! And because I love chu all, I made a thrifting treasure map so you can embark on your own Palm Springs Thrift Tour!

Start at the Ace and drive for about 20 minutes or so down Highway 111 and you will see TONS of thrift shops. Scattered throughout Coachella Valley are two major resale chains: Revivals and Angel View Thrift. We also found a few scary hole in the wall places (where you could buy bags filled with used panties… Anyone?) but our best luck was at the aforementioned spots.

bluesweater

This weird cobalt blue half sweatshirt/half knit sweater caught my eye right away. I think I’ll add a cluster of brooches à la Karlito and wear it with leggings and my gold pizza earring for a casual weekday, Claudia Kishi-type of vibe.

thrift tour

My childhood fantasies of being an In Living Color flygirl finally became reality as soon as I put on this multi-colored jacket! I swear my hair suddenly turned into a spiral perm and I immediately started talking in a Rosie Perez accent. Little did I know this was only the beginning of many more outrageous jackets to come.

flygirlshello

thrift tour

Leyla scored a set of Time-Life books from the 70′s filled with pictures a Tumblr can only dream about. My favorite photos included these of ladies smuggling booze in their boots and dresses during the Prohibition. GALS AFTER MY OWN HEART.

thrift tour

I told you the jackets were only going to get more majestic during this thrift tour.

thrift tour

Crazy studded purple suede thang. If only I had a matching church hat and a motorcycle to go with it…PURPLE REIGN.

thrift tour

Which one of my lucky friends is receiving this horse vest?

thrift tour

At Angel View there was a great selection of vintage slips. I settled on these two hot pink ones. Love! All in all, we had a pretty good thrift tour and we didn’t even get to all of the shops! Highway 111 really is a paradise for us thrift lovers.

Now as many of you seasoned thrifters know, thrifting is 50% luck and 50% “how can I work this mutha?” so here are a few tips to check yo’self before you wreck yo’self.

  • Be in a relaxed frame of mind because you will definitely need some patience rummaging through these racks of clothes and shelves of tchotchkes.  It can get pretty dangerous out there. The crowds, the smells, the overwhelming sensation of strange hands OMG. You don’t want to have THRIFT RAGE (similar to Road Rage.)
  • Remember to thoroughly check for holes and stains and decide if they could easily be fixed and removed before purchasing. Yes, that cute pastel schoolgirl blouse looks good from here but make sure it doesn’t have YELLOW PITS. I remember when I was in high school during the thrifting prime of the mid 90′s, one of my friends found TOENAIL CLIPPINGS inside one of her thrifted shirt pockets. VOMITROCIA INDEED! So be careful you guys.
  • Wear comfy clothing like leggings and t-shirts you can easily slip skirts and sweaters over to try on since 90% of the time thrift stores don’t have dressing rooms.
  • Be practical about pricing. Thrifting is not as cheap as it used to be so have a budget and know what is worth your wallet. On that note, too bad this work of art was a whopping $95! I would have gladly added it to my collection.

thrift tour

March 9, 2011   15 Comments