Posts from — February 2011
This is what I wore to John Waters’ “This Filthy World Goes Hollywood” show the other night! Firstly, I just have to say John Waters is a goddamn machine. He is NONSTOP hilarity with his stories! I could throw on a snuggie and listen to him talk for hours! I don’t think I saw him even take a sip of water to clear his throat. How the?! Mr. Waters, seriously let’s just knock back a few dranks and talk shit about everything in the world because this is RIDICULOUS! Secondly, let’s talk about this dress for a minute. Yes, I said Built By Wendy for Target in my outfit notes above. Um…WHAT?! I know. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? This dress is not part of some Built By Wendy for Target collection nor was it available in stores. It was featured in Target’s Red Hot shop a few days before Valentine’s day which means nobody would have been able to even get it in time for Valentine’s. I snatched it up on a day when it was 20% off and free shipping. It was red with little orange hearts, I HAD TO! But where were the press releases? Why didn’t anyone know about this? WHY WERE YOU HIDING THIS FROM US. Another strange thing is there were no price tags on the dress, just a sewn tag that says Built By Wendy. WHAT IN TARNASHIA IS GOING ON YOU GUYS.
Anytime I can wear my lips hat is a good time indeed. The show was at UCLA so I can’t expect a parade of fashion, just Uggs and sweats I GUESS. Why are people so boring? Couldn’t someone have dressed up like Divine or made a hat that looked like a literal piece of shit as an ode to Pink Flamingos? I guess it’s going to have to be me next time sporting that fake dook. OMG! With little flies on wires buzzing around it! Imagine! Back to my anger, seriously why don’t people dress up? We are all going to die at some point so you might as well wear a crazy hat, you assholes.
KIANA U SNEAK!
I got these vintage Japanese opera glasses for Emi and I since we were up in the balcony and besides being cute, they were actually very useful! I was able to spot host Matthew Gray Gubler’s moustache homage to JW from up above! I also fell in love that night with Elvis Perkins, who was the opening musical act. He sounds like Jeff Mangum and is Anthony Perkins’ (yes from Psycho) son. I am ashamed I never knew about him before, but even though I try to know everything that is going on at all times, some days I listen to too much 90′s Mariah and miss out on gems such as this mang. Ple dew:
February 24, 2011 24 Comments
It’s been a while since we did a Getaway Girl-style post and what would be a better comeback than True Romance, one of the best action-romance films that has ever been made! Comic book nerd Clarence (Christian Slater!) meets hooker with a heart of gold Alabama (Patricia Arquette) and they fall madly in love while getting caught up in some major Bonnie and Clyde-style drama. After Clarence kills her pimp, played by Gary Oldman in white people dreads, they embark on a road trip to LA with a suitcase of stolen cocaine. Soon after, the star-crossed lovers are chased by both the feds and the mob, but are so hot for each other they basically remain in makeout mode in between all the gunshot fire! I think I speak for many of us when I say underneath this jaded and blackened heart, there is still a dreamy look in my eyes and a longing for a crazy Clarence and Alabama type of romance. A comic book shop clerk/ film buff/ thugaboo like Clarence is my dream man HALLO! LET US SING.
Bringing a lady to a comic shop in the middle of the night: ultimate move of seduction.
Does anyone else feel like Gary Oldman was like a wigga version of Snagglepuss in this movie? So glad he was killed off early with those white people dreadlocks! UGH! (NO OFFENSE.)
I am so horn for an ensemble cast you guys. Everyone is here! Christopher Walken, Dennis Hopper, Brad Pitt as a STONER, Tom Sizemore, James Gandolfini (pre-Sopranos era), Michael Rappaport, Bronson Pinchot aka BALKI BARTOKOMOUS! It was written by Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott. I want to ask Patricia Arquette how it was being the only woman on set with all those MENZ.
OF COURSE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW STYLIN’ ALABAMA IS!!!
I love Alabama Worley so much it hurts! Lots of red and turquoise, animal print everything, cowboy boots, off-the-shoulder blouses, showin’ off them lacy bras. She even keeps those sunglasses on during a major shootout! How chic! I want to dress like her every day of my life!
Also note this chick’s sunglasses…
Even their car is hot!
February 24, 2011 13 Comments
During my preparation for my annual retro bathing suit search, I came across this bathing suit on Modcloth and all I could say was @_@. 70′s PORN WOOD PANELING IS DATCHU? Now, I love me some 70′s porn wood paneling, in fact, that is one of the reasons why I bought my Toyota Camry. It has that sexy controversial Calvin Klein ad interior (LUXURIOUS.) But a bathing suit?? Who in the? What in the? I hope the girl who wears this belongs to a swim club with matching walls so she can easily blend into the background if she needs to go undercover. I do love the belt (obviously)…if it were on a different suit! So random.
Sidenote: So bummed Modcloth didn’t use a morning wood pun in their description for this suit
February 20, 2011 22 Comments
HELLO MY VALENTINES! I got a request through my ‘lil ouija board (posted on the upper right of the blog) by a lovely reader named Alex! She wanted me to do a tutorial on how to make your own valentines. This year I decided to do something extra crazy and make my Ladyboner Valentines into ACCESSORIES!!! OH MY GAWD WHAT IN THE F IS GOIN ON HERE!
This Mark Ruffalo bracelet is dedicated to Elizabeth
And here’s my instructional video! Remember…Ladyboner Valentines can be appreciated every day of the year! So if you ever have the urge to make a pair of Javier Bardem earrings (you know I do) feel free to do it gurl.
P.S. Take a peek at Pygmy Hippo Valentine’s post to see some other goodies I like to give my friends (90′s erotic thrillers on dvd)
February 14, 2011 17 Comments
♥Ebay red lace dress, Amiclub heart print wedges, Pygmy Hippo Sweetheart bow♥
As you can see I found a cute red lace dress like I had wanted…except it’s REAL SLUTTY! But I guess that’s what I should expect for always calling it PUTANA LACE! I kind of have a secret (or not-so-secret) love for showing off a bra once in a while like Alabama Worley (mmyes that is a foreshadowing for my Cinephilia post tomorrow!)
And now here is my third annual Agent Lover Loves You mix! If you missed last years, you can get it here. This time I decided to go all old school naughty, and I mean waaaay old school. Starting off with some dirty blues and ending with some hilarious cochina songs. Enjoy!
♥Blue Lu Barker – Don’t You Feel My Leg♥
♥Bo Carter – Banana In Your Fruit Basket♥
♥Georgia White – I’ll Keep Sittin’ On It (If I Can’t Sell It)♥
♥Oscar’s Chicago Swingers – New Rubbing On That Darned Old Thing♥
♥Lillie Mae Kirkman – He’ s Just My Size♥
♥Bo Carter – Please Warm My Weiner♥
♥Lucille Bogan – Shave Em’ Dry♥
♥The Blenders – Don’t Fuck Around WIth Love♥
♥Angelina – He Forgot His Rubbers♥
♥Miss Dee – Hey Mister Ice Man!♥
♥Connie Lingus – Fuck Me Forever♥
LUV EWE MY BEWS
February 14, 2011 14 Comments
Besides the PLETHORA of erotic fiction and paranormal research, my book collection includes a ton of biographies. They also make up my current reading list, which are actually all autobiographies to be exact. I’m more than halfway through reading John Waters’ book, Role Models, which is basically me reading about the role models of one of my role models. My favorite chapter so far is the one on Rei Kawakubo, where Uncle John also has some wise words on thrifting and personal style. This quote by him is one of the greatest things I have ever read:
“You don’t need fashion designers when you are young. Have faith in your own bad taste. Buy the cheapest thing in your local thrift shop – the clothes that are freshly out of style with even the hippest people a few years older than you. Get on the fashion nerves of your peers, not your parents – that is the key to fashion leadership. Ill-fitting is always stylish. But be more creative – wear your clothes inside out, backward, upside down. Throw bleach in a load of colored laundry. Follow the exact opposite of the dry cleaning instructions inside the clothes that cost the most in your thrift shop. Don’t wear jewelry – stick Band-Aids on your wrists or make a necklace out of them. Wear Scotch tape on the side of your face like a bad face-lift attempt. Mismatch your shoes. Best yet, do as Mink Stole used to do: go to the thrift store the day after Halloween, when the children’s trick-or-treat costumes are on sale, buy one, and wear it as your uniform of defiance.”
LISTEN TO THE BRILLIANCE OF UNCLE JOHN-JOHN. He’s also going to be at UCLA in a couple of weeks doing a “one-man vaudeville act” and our favorite ladyboner intelli-hunk of all hunks, Matthew Gray Gubler is hosting. It’s sold out but I was able to score tickets last minute! Look for me in the balcony wearing something obnoxious and Divine-like (the yooj). Last time I saw him live was for his Christmas special in 2005 so I’m extra excited! If you are a fan of this genius among men, you will definitely like Role Models. And to take us into the weekend…here is an embarrassing picture from when I met Uncle John and drew a fake moustache on my finger so I could sneak ‘stache bomb him like the assholia I am. BUT, I was even more stu and brought a PURPLE SHARPIE so it didn’t show up that clearly on camera ::sad fart noise::
February 11, 2011 10 Comments
First of all, lemme just say that when I first decided to write this post on my Top Ten Lifetime Original Movies I did not think I’d get this much of a response. I mean I know there are a select few of us that have caught a LOM or two in our lives but I didn’t think it was gonna be like this! Even men I know have come forward and expressed their love of the LOM. One even said his favorite was called “What Alice Found.” ABOUT TRUCK STOP PROSTITUTION! AMAZING!
And now it is time to announce the winner of the Death of a Cheerleader dvd (which is not an Ebay bootleg btw, PHEW!) This was seriously the hardest decision of my life you guys. Every entry was so creative and hilar, it was very difficult to choose. But just like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, there can only be one. So to help with my decision I went to the desert on a spiritual quest, wearing only chambray and knotted pearls. I built an altar of candles surrounding framed photos of Marcia Gay Harden and under a full white moon, called upon the spirit of the LOM. Thus, the chosen one was revealed…
JOE YOU ARE THE WINNER!!!!
Here is his entry:
“Mine is called “Thou Shall Not Kill”. Mine is about a group of devout teenage Christians, who will do whatever it takes to make sure their classmates stay celibate. Even kill. It would have been filmed in in the mid ’90s and would star Emily Schulman (aka Harriet from “Small Wonder”) as Sandy Fuller, the Christian girl gone psycho; Cherie Johnson as her partner in crime, Katrina Thomas; and Maureen Flannigan as her slutty arch rival, Samantha Radomski. She’ll sleep w/ anyone to tick “Sandy” off. Including Sandy’s boyfriend, Ronnie Santucci, played by Michael Cade (of “California Dreams”). Watch what happens when lust is stronger than the bible.”
BRILLIANT!! I picked Joe because he used all of my favorite elements to create the perfect LOM:
- 80′s Child actors trying to break out of their stereotypical roles: Harriet from Small Wonder (my bangs arch-nemesis) Cherie from Punky Brewster and Evie Ethel Garland from Out Of This World.
- Killer Christians!!!
- High school scandal
- and the one that sealed the deal…MICHAEL CADE OF CALIFORNIA DREAMS! How dare you!! That cameo was totally out of left field!
Thanks again to everyone who entered! I wish I could give you all prizes because they were all very LOM-worthy! But don’t fret just yet my pet. I will have more contests in the future where you can win more LOMs!
February 10, 2011 12 Comments
♥ Thrifted velvet dress, red bow from childhood, Cutie Dynamite sequin heart hair clip, Target white kneesocks, old red wedge heels that are on their last legs , cute stuffed felt deer from Pygmy Hippo! ♥
And now a couple of things!
My new Paperdoll is finally up! We have bangs, a cornsuit, a framed photo of beloved Stamos, Mr. Shankly the Frenchton pup, and a HOVERBOARD!!!! As well as new illustrations of outfits and accessories from my real life closet! Again, the Paperdoll was done by the lovely and amazing Gea. Huge shoutout to Steen for doing the coding so quickly! I’m so happy she is up and ready to be dressed by you pervs!
Kindertrauma has solved a mystery that has been plaguing me for many years. If you haven’t checked their site out yet (HOW DARE U) they help find forgotten names of movies that traumatized us from childhood. Over the years I have asked friends, film nerds and even YOU about a particular strange movie I saw when I was young and everyone thought I was crazy, but Kindertrauma has proved my sanity! Oddly enough the movie came out in 1995… so I was scared of this as a teenager?! (Actually not surprising since I’ve jumped during a Halloween episode of Boy Meets World before.) Also starred WIL WHEATON and NIA PEEPLES and it was directed by Roger Avary. What the F is going on here?! How much more random can we get? I feel like a weight has been lifted off me shoulders!
Lastly, I am PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE… Pygmy Hippo has just opened an online shop!! So any of you lovely boos who can’t make it to the shop in person can now get some of the Pygmy Hippo charm delivered right to your door! CHECK IT OUT!
February 7, 2011 12 Comments
Ever since I saw Switched At Birth starring Bonnie Bedelia when I was a preteen, I have enjoyed the cinematic works of art known as Lifetime Original Movies (aka LOMs.) I know many of you feel the same way so I figured a discussion of our favorite LOMs would ignite more passion in our bloglationship. Today I am sharing with you my Top Ten Favorite Lifetime Original Movies with a surprise giveaway at the end! (the blog equivalent to me coming out in a black negligee.) With the hundreds of Lifetime movies out there, you would think it would be impossible to narrow them down to a measly ten, but I did it! Most of my favorites are from the nineties, since I have been sadly underwhelmed by many of the recent ones. The Craigslist Killer was terrible! Amish Grace? Horrible! However there are a couple of newer ones that put a ‘lil sparkle in my eye…SHALL WE BEGIN?
The Nora Roberts movies
These four movies, based on stories from romance novelist Nora Roberts, played for a month sometime in 2009. I was lucky (anti-social) enough to catch Tribute (RIP Brittany) and Midnight Bayou and enjoyed the mix of romance , suspense, and the supernatural. I still have to watch the other two but surely I won’t be disappointed. Also FYI the one with Leann Rimes and that hot dimples dude is how they started having an IRL affair! Not like anyone cares or anything.
Sins of the Mind
I am pretty sure nobody besides me saw Sins of The Mind. I couldn’t even find a better picture of it than the one above, that’s how obscure this is. This movie has seriously fucked me up for the past ten years. It’s about a girl who gets into a car accident and suffers trauma to the brain, particularly the nerve that controls impulses. Basically she becomes what many of us only dream to be: a big ol’ whore. She can’t resist any of her urges, which of course are mostly sexual. During a trip to London in 2002, I was walking across the Thames River and told Shaun I was afraid my impulse gland was broken like in Sins Of The Mind and I might jump into the water. I’m sure that paranoia was triggered by exhaustion and jetlag and not by me being cray.
She’s Too Young
This is another newer one I enjoyed because it’s about a bunch of teenagers getting syphilis. What is there more to say? Marcia Gay Harden is very angry in this movie.
There was a time in the 90′s when all of our favorite goody-two-shoes sitcom stars were in Lifetime movies. This one had Clarissa Explains It All’s Melissa Joan Hart seducing Jeremy “Right Kind of Love” Jordan into murdering her parents! What a bitch.
Friends Til The End
Shannen Doherty stars as a girl in a band who becomes the victim of a single white female. This was basically an extra-long episode of 90210. A memorable scene was when the band shot their music video in the desert. Lots of 90′s camera angles.
Mother May I Sleep With Danger?
First of all, this wins the award for best title of a movie ever made. Donna Martin, sporting an extreme bob, is romanced by butt-chinned 90′s hunk Ivan Sergei. In no time, his affection turns into obsession and he traps her in a log cabin. The Wikipedia description says all you need to know: “Laurel (Spelling) discovers that her new boyfriend Kevin (Sergei) is a serial killer, and must escape the mountain cabin in which he is holding her captive by paddling down a river in a canoe at dusk.”
No One Would Tell
Another one starring a couple of our favorite child actors, Kevin Arnold aka my first love, Fred Savage, is a possessive asshole who beats up and eventually murders his girlfriend played by D.J. Tanner! UGH SO GOOD. What would you do if I sang outta tune?
She Fought Alone
Do you guys remember when Brian Austin Green (BAG) and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (TAT) were in hyphen-named puppy love? Tiffani even got a green heart tattooed on her back during this time. Anyway, she plays a bad girl who gets raped by the friend of BAG’s character and nobody believes her.
A Killer Among Friends
Another LOM starring Tiffani Amber, I liked this one so much I had taped it on VHS. TAT plays a cute popular girl who gets murdered down by the river by her jealous friends. I remember the murder scene looked super fake because they used what looked like a blow-up doll. The ringleader of the friends actually moves into TAT’s mom’s (played by Patty Duke!) house after the murder like a creepy ass bitch. Years pass until one of the friends confesses. Still not sure why I liked watching this one over and over. I must be the real creep!
And finally…the #1 LOM: Death of a Cheerleader!
Was this too obvious!? There are countless elements that make this LOM #1 on my list. Kellie Martin plays Angela, a nice high school girl who wants nothing more to be perfect and popular. She watches in envy as queen bee Stacy Lockwood (perfect bitch name) one-ups her in all teen territories, from having the coolest skiing outfit to making the cheerleading squad. Even though Angela is smart, well-liked and part of the Larks (a sorority-type clique at the school), she still can’t accept Stacy Lockwood always being one step ahead of her. One fateful day, Stacy calls Angela a weirdo and Angela stabs her! At first the murder is blamed on the class goth and Angela begins to reap the benefits of being Miss Popular… until her Catholic guilt takes over and she confesses to the murder.
Let me write you a list of why Death of A Cheerleader is my favorite Lifetime movie ever.
- Donna Martin is a snotty ass bitch!
- The fashion mostly consists of chambray, knotted pearls, and gold Jesus crosses.
- There is a strong Catholic theme throughout the whole movie. SO MUCH GUILT
- There is a “taking odd jobs to make enough money to go to the ski trip” montage of Angela – you know how I love montages!
- Cameos include: Valerie Harper as the mom, JOHN LOCKE as the principal, and Uncle Phil Banks from Fresh Prince!
I hate you Stacy Lockwood!!
And now for my revealing negligee…
I AM GIVING AWAY A COPY OF DEATH OF A CHEERLEADER! Not the one above since that was my Netflix copy but I have a brand new one for you all the way from Ebay! Let’s hope it’s not bootleg. Actually if it is, it will make this whole thing even better! To enter, make up your own Lifetime Original Movie and leave it as a comment below. I want a sweet title, a short plot summary and throw in some actors too if you want! Make me laugh, make me gasp, make me shed a tear! The most original and entertaining idea wins!
PS. I will be uploading more LOM screencaps to my Tumblr, including another favorite aspect of them…the shitty looking opening title sequences!
February 2, 2011 70 Comments
Bombón is not some average cute girl band with matching outfits and an adorable name (marshmallow in español.) This San Pedro-based ladytrio plays 60′s surf rock with the kind of energy and talent that would make Link Wray proud and have Annette Funicello shaking her hips. Their first LP, Las Chicas del Bombón, may invoke warm weather, the desire for days spent at the beach, and road trips with girlfriends. It can also be the official soundtrack to our daily winged-eyeliner application. Learn more about Angela, Paloma and Jerico below!
How did you ladies come together to form Bombón?
Jerico: Bombón was the brain child of Angela. She has a passion for 60′s surf and shared it with us. That girl is just the most amazing guitar player and she got us going on the genre by showing us her mad reverb-y stylesss haha. I had previously played guitar, but opted to learn some drums for the occasion and Paloma brought forth her funky bass styles. Ang showed us what she had and it just flowed out real easily from there. The three of us collaborate really well together and it all just sorta fell into place. A little more than a year in, we had a cassette done by Burger Records of Orange County, a mini-tour of Nor-Cal, followed by our self-released LP, Las Chicas Del Bombón on 45 RPM Records, and an epic tour, nay, journey! of the South under our belts. I might also add that we made LA Weekly’s “Top 10 Bands to Watch in 2011″ list!! Yay!
What inspires your songs?
Angela: Family, friends, old westerns and horror films.
Paloma: Friends and bandmates
Jerico: I just like to make songs that i think will get peeps’ toes a’tappin’.
What female musicians have inspired you personally?
A: There is a great span of female musicians that inspire me to play music such as Holly Golightly, Kira Roessler, ect… but the first that had initially inspired me would be Poison Ivy Rorschach.
P: Basically same as Angela. Definitely Holly Golightly and Kira Roessler taught me how to hold my bass and pluck a bass string with my fingers! Although she doesn’t approve of me playing a right-handed bass while being left handed. Kira rules!
J: My lady faves are Jenny Lewis, Zooey Deschanel and Kim Shattuck of The Muffs. They are all rock goddesses in my eyes.
Your current musical crushes?
A: Not quite sure if you can call it a crush, but The Pine Hill Haints I will love to death!
P: Thurston Moore
J: Totally have a girl crush on Bethany Cosentino from Best Coast right now, but my heart will always belong to George Harrison.
Are there any movies that speak the vibe of Bombón?
A: I would like to hope for a Quentin film.
P: Yes Any Quentin-directed movie.
J: QT has it!
You always rock the cutest outfits, how do you decide what to wear for shows?
A: Our decision is usually based on comfort.
P: Whatever is easiest but cute.
J: We like to shop together, we pick out things that are cute, but also functional, and we all throw our own unique twists on each outfit. Our schtick is based off of the nostalgic girl-group vibe , that’s why we go all matchy-matchy.
If you could describe your style as the combination of any two people or things, who or what would they be?
A: My grandparents and Barbara Eden,
P: I would like to think Zooey Deschanel with a mix of punk…well at least that’s the style I like.
J: I’d like to think of myself as Jenny Lewis meets Lucille Ball.
What are your wardrobe staples?
A: Boots, tangerine lipstick and black tights.
P: Black or grey worn out t-shirts.
J: You’ll pretty much always see me in a pair of high top chucks and anything red.
What are some of your current obsessions?
A: Currently… in search of Silvio Rodriguez albums and 1950’s sweater clips.
P: Mastering the art of 1960′s hairdo’s.
J: I’m kind of obsessed with Words with Friends right now, the Scrabble game for iPod where you play against your friends. Haha!
What’s next on the menu for Bombón?
A: Writing new songs!
P: More songs and hopefully more tours and records!
J: I wanna tour Japan!
February 1, 2011 5 Comments