Simple Times

If you haven’t lurked on Amy Sedaris’ newest book, Simple Times: Crafts For Poor People then you have been sleeping on the one of the most IMPORTANT CREATIONS IN THE HISTORY OF THE WRITTEN WORD! When Hachette Book Group sent me Simple Times to review I knew it was going to be my new bible. Amy Sedaris is one of my favorite people in the world and I was a big fan of her first book I Like You: Hospitality Under The Influence, which shared recipes and etiquette tips on how to be a hostess with the mostest, in true Sedaris-style of course. There was no sophomore curse with her follow up book. In fact, I find Simple Times to be even more entertaining and hilarious than the first!

Simple Times

As you may know I support crafting any which way one can craft and Simple Times inspires you to make the most wondrous creations out of everyday doodads and your magical hands. Amy covers the entire crafting world spectrum, whether it’s how to put together your ideal craft room, crafting with fashionably long fingernails (NAILSDID!) or under the influence of hallucinogens, “Crafting for Jesus” and many, many more!

Simple Times

Simple Times

There are crafts and recipes for almost any situation such as “Fireplace Hot Dogs On A Rake,” which I find to be a sexier alternate for a “by-the-fire treat” than a boring old s’more, as well as an entire chapter dedicated to sausages.

Simple Times

Simple Times

My personal favorite, even though I can’t even really pick a favorite, is the chapter on “Making Love aka Fornicrafting.” I don’t want to spoil it for you but there is one section on “Beautifying the Pleasure Patch,” a craft called “Measure The Pleasure Tickle Rod” and some sexy hieroglyphics drawn by that handsome ladyboner hunkenstein Justin Theroux. I will definitely be using some of those tips on my next sexual crafting experience.

Simple Times

She also provides a guide to craft fitness, advising you to always stretch before and after your creative work. IMPORTANT! Don’t want to pull a love muscle when you are making those tin can stilts…

Simple Times

Simple Times

I love all the costumes in the book. They were made by Adam Selman, who she met when she filmed Dolly Parton’s video for “Better Get To Livin'” (On that note, do you understand how incredible it is that Amy Sedaris and Dolly Parton have worked together before?!)

Simple Times

One of my favorite crafts is obviously this one for instant bangs. I suggest any Agent Lover reader who is contemplating converting to the Bangs Religion but still unsure to try this craft out for help with your important decision. Or if you just want to pretend your ME for a day you can make this too and wear it for a night on the town. Just remember to send me a picture so I can scotch-tape it to the dashboard of my Toyota.

Simple Times

AND NOW THE MOST AMAZING NEWS OF YOUR LIFE!!! I am giving away THREE copies of Simple Times! All you have to do is leave a comment telling me about a crazy craft you made, a crazy craft you want to make or even a hilarious craft-related anecdote! I will throw all of your entries inside my trusty NKOTB orange lunchbox and choose randomly! Last day to enter will be Wednesday, Dec 15th so you can be enjoying Simple Times for the holidays!

*If you blog about this giveaway or tweet about it let me know and I will give you an additional chance to win! WAIT!!!Let’s just go crazy here. If you make a craft of ME (no voodoo dolls though!) I will give you TWO extra chances to win! I’m such a jerk!*

Some guidelines for the giveaway: Only residents of the U.S. or Canada are eligible to win (WAH! I’m sorry 🙁 not me rulez) , No P.O. Boxes,  and only one winner per household.