My Fair Ladies

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I love the county fairs of the summertime. Everything about them is so vulgar: the fried candy bars, the deathtrap carnival rides, the people!!! It’s also like walking around inside an overpriced 99 cent store. But it’s gluttony at its finest and you’d be a fool not to partake in this guilty pleasure once in a while.

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It’s only natural

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I didn’t get a funnel cake because I spent all of my money on Virgin Mary and airbrushed keychains.

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Shoe decorating contest…who could be the next great shoe designer of our time? I will have nightmares about this for weeks.

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Kind of regret not getting a portrait done of myself by this guy.

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My beef with the fair is the lack of gems in their prize stash. Only three years ago I got a beautiful framed portrait of Poetic Justice‘s leading stars, Tupak Shakur and Janet Miss Jackson IF YOUR NASTY. Why must you be updated in pop culture now? Why not keep the prizes outdated and slightly offensive and amazing?! At the AGENT LOVER FAIR, we’d have plenty of Selenas, Dizzy Devil, and Joey Lawrence framed photos for everybody!! I settled for teen dream Zac Efron because the Rob Pat one looked too greasy.

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Plus I like how he is giving a lil’ pledge of allegiance underneath his shirt. This is now in the backseat of my car next to some copies of Lucky Magazine in case you find yourself back there and in need of a hunk.

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Carnival ride paintings are really an unappreciated form of art.

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Is it really ?

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I was beyond excited to have captured this moment in action. This woman was airbrushing a tank top that said “Kinky” with what appeared to be the head of a turtle underneath (!!!) and “105 years.” WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

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Again, it’s only natural.

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Smile now, cry later.

~THE END~

ps. Are you going to the fair? Will you vomit? Eat funnel cake? Get pygmy goat dook on your boot?

16 comments

1 Tiffany { 08.10.10 at 9:42 pm }

I took the fam a couple weeks ago and I’m going again on Saturday to see Weird Al. I could spend all night at the fair, you summed up how I feel about it so well!

2 Celisse { 08.10.10 at 9:58 pm }

Our fair here is in the springtime from mid-March to some time in April. I hadn’t gone since I was 16 but I went this year. It was terrifying and hilarious. I drank a Pina Colada the size of my head and almost won a giant Cyclops toy in whack-a-mole (but some asshole child beat me by two points why i oughtta).

I had a funnel cake but I really wanted a corn dog or those burgers with Krispy Kremes for the buns. SEXY CARDIAC ARREST.

3 Celisse { 08.10.10 at 10:00 pm }

Also I tried to find a fortune teller and there was not a single one to be found. EFF.

4 Tweets that mention My Fair Ladies — -- Topsy.com { 08.10.10 at 10:06 pm }

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Marie Madeline, Savannah Darling. Savannah Darling said: Go for the gorgeous gals, stay for the "pygmy goat dook"! LAWL! RT @agentlover: http://www.agentlover.com/blog/2010/08/10/my-fair-ladies/ [...]

5 Karlito { 08.11.10 at 1:44 am }

My padres are going to the Ventura County Fair tomorrow but sadly I can’t join them :(

6 Poochie { 08.11.10 at 5:22 am }

I’m not going to the fair this year but in many a years past I’ve hurled into a Midway barrel trashcan. Classy.
Plus I have two Pygmy goats of my own so I have plenty of dook- stepping opportunities.

Plus I have two Pygmy goats of my own so I have lots of dook- stepping opportunities.

7 Poochie { 08.11.10 at 5:23 am }

Darn iPhone messing up my witty comments!!!

8 BlueMoonDame { 08.11.10 at 6:25 am }

All this reminds me of my summers at the Jersey shore. It’s sadly not the same now thanks to MTV.
I LOVE the airbrushing. Last time I was there I got an Elvis TCB airbrushed shirt. It’s ridiculous and amazing.

9 Andi { 08.11.10 at 12:47 pm }

Vta Co fair is the best fair on earth..Gosh was it really 28 years ago my cousin and I would sit on the tilt a whirl while belting out “I left my heart,in San Francisco at the top of our lungs”? We were 7 and really strange children..Anyhoo,I would like to make a suggestion,I would love for you to carry Patriotic Efron around and just take random photos of him in strange places. The Taco photo was the best! Did you get to see Styxx?

10 Brandi { 08.11.10 at 1:29 pm }

Nothing bets a good fair. I’m fascinated with the food, all the gems you can walk away with, rides, and the many toothless people that I always run into. Sadly, no trip to the fair is in my future so I will just have to live vicariously through you and your pics, sigh…

11 Ms. Smart { 08.11.10 at 6:49 pm }

you fucking rock the place you reside dear queen

you and your crew are the cutest ever

12 Grit and Glamour { 08.11.10 at 7:29 pm }

HAAAA! That’s the great thing about fairs…you can’t INVENT the freakiness that occurs there. Brilliant!

Kinky. The turtle. 105 years…I mean, that’s blog fodder almost worth paying for, non?

♥ V

http://www.gritandglamour.com

13 Birdie { 08.12.10 at 9:49 am }

I effing love the fair.

Every year my hometown had a carnival/rodeo. I’ll never forget the time I went, and accidentally punched a carnie in the face in the “haunted house”. I felt kinda bad for him but you shouldn’t try to sneak up on a ninja, dude.

14 Rosie { 08.13.10 at 5:25 am }

I with we had a fair in my area! It looks so amazing, in such an overstated, slightly tacky way. (Which is obviously the best kind of amazing.)

15 Jade { 08.13.10 at 10:10 pm }

oh my god, the last time i was at the fair some coke head almost had a heart attack on the spin out ride so they like shut it down for an hour, and then a bunch of people got mased….ahh how i love the fair

16 Annie { 08.18.10 at 2:04 pm }

Ok I just lurked this on yr flickr too..but I didn’t mention the best part of our fair, aside from maple milkshakes…the freaking DEMOLITION DERBY. I haven’t been so happy watching anything in ages. Also the kid sitting next to us had the most wicked rat-tail. I love patting goats and then eating greasy food!

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