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I love the county fairs of the summertime. Everything about them is so vulgar: the fried candy bars, the deathtrap carnival rides, the people!!! It’s also like walking around inside an overpriced 99 cent store. But it’s gluttony at its finest and you’d be a fool not to partake in this guilty pleasure once in a while.

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It’s only natural

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I didn’t get a funnel cake because I spent all of my money on Virgin Mary and airbrushed keychains.

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Shoe decorating contest…who could be the next great shoe designer of our time? I will have nightmares about this for weeks.

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Kind of regret not getting a portrait done of myself by this guy.

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My beef with the fair is the lack of gems in their prize stash. Only three years ago I got a beautiful framed portrait of Poetic Justice‘s leading stars, Tupak Shakur and Janet Miss Jackson IF YOUR NASTY. Why must you be updated in pop culture now? Why not keep the prizes outdated and slightly offensive and amazing?! At the AGENT LOVER FAIR, we’d have plenty of Selenas, Dizzy Devil, and Joey Lawrence framed photos for everybody!! I settled for teen dream Zac Efron because the Rob Pat one looked too greasy.

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Plus I like how he is giving a lil’ pledge of allegiance underneath his shirt. This is now in the backseat of my car next to some copies of Lucky Magazine in case you find yourself back there and in need of a hunk.

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Carnival ride paintings are really an unappreciated form of art.

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Is it really ?

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I was beyond excited to have captured this moment in action. This woman was airbrushing a tank top that said “Kinky” with what appeared to be the head of a turtle underneath (!!!) and “105 years.” WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

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Again, it’s only natural.

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Smile now, cry later.

~THE END~

ps. Are you going to the fair? Will you vomit? Eat funnel cake? Get pygmy goat dook on your boot?