Posts from — June 2010

Flamingos Are the New Peacocks

flamingo dress

flamingo dress 2

flamingo dress 1

This flamingo dress is one of my all-time favorites. I got it a few years ago at H&M when I went to New York for the first time (or possibly second.) Since I love me some pink animals, it’s no surprise the flamingo is one of my most BELOVED creatures. I feel like it is their time to shine. The peacock has been soaking up the spotlight long enough! Flamingos remind me of going to Las Vegas, the Nickkis and Three’s Company. Also pictured are my new heart-print wedges which were on sale for only twelve dollhairs on Amiclub. I just lurked and now they are down to $9.99! I highly recommend them for your summer wedge collection! Wish I got the black ones too before they sold out in my size. BALLS!

Picture 17

Here’s Paperdoll Marie wearing the flamingo dress too!

June 30, 2010   13 Comments

Prince Wears A Shirt With Himself On It

Thee Purple One was honored at the BET Awards last night with a Lifetime Achievement Award. LONG OVERDUE BUT PERF TIMING SINCE I LUBS HIM SO. Janelle Monae, Patti Labelle and Alicia Keys all performed Prince songs as he watched on wearing a shirt of himself.

Prince wearing a shirt of himself which makes me like him more since I do the same

Can anyone else besides Prince not look like a total assholia when wearing a shirt with themselves on it? Let me know.

LEST YOU FORGET:

1st Tokyo Remix

I loved the part when Patti Labelle kicked off a chancla during her rendition of “Purple Rain” and Prince proudly picked it up.

Prince picking up Patti Labelle's Chancla

Sidebar: I figured out who Janelle Monae has been reminding me of this whole time…the twins aka los ‘Mirror Image’ from Girls Just Want To Have Fun!

Janelle Monae aka IRL Mirror Image

Mirror Image

LOVE U

love u

June 28, 2010   17 Comments

La Carmina Wearing My Cake Hat On CNNGo

La Carmina for CNNGo
Photo via lacarmina.com

One of my favorite ladies, La Carmina, recently went to my spiritual homeland of Tokyo to film a segment for CNNGo’s travel show…and wore one of my Petite Cake Hats for the shoot! HOW CUTE IS SHE!!

La Carmina in Agent Lover Cake Hat!
Photo via lacarmina.com

Read more about it here, watch the clip below and check out more of La Carmina for Gothic Lolita and Tokyo kawaii goodness.

I MISS TOKYOOOOO!! :(

June 26, 2010   8 Comments

Freestyle Summer Sequel 2010

freestylesummer2

DAS RIGHT BEWS. It’s been one year since we did this and we DOIN’ IT AGAIN! Stick this Freestyle Summer Megamix Sequel into your Walkman and pump up the jams while you get ready for your weekend shunaneez! (short for shenanigans obv. Is that stu? Let me know.) So bust out your economy-sized, super hold Aquanet and start shellac’ing those locks fresh out of the shower because it’s summertime and “the wet look” is super sexy. Top Ramen hairs for lyfe!

Freestyle Summer Megamix Part 2

freestylesummer2tracklist

June 25, 2010   2 Comments

Agent Lover Gets A Makeover!

Headerscollectemall

That’s right my boos! THE RUMORS ARE TRUE! I just got a makeover!!! IT’S A FRESH NEW LOOK UP IN HERE! If my blog could walk, she’d have bedroom eyes, a lil’ swivel in her hips, sex hair and rouge on her cheeks!

Now let’s tawk about the new features in our little clubhouse…

  • Six sexy new headers that rotate every time you clear your browser’s cookies!
  • Category/Best of sidebar icons (with more to come)
  • More crazy videos to come (preview below)
  • New paperdoll (with bangs) to come!
  • Some plugins that I’m personally excited about like THREADED COMMENTS!
  • MORE SEXINESS OVERALL!!!

LOTS AND LOTS OF LUVZ to JANKINS for these badass headers and to the one and only Star for doing some major coding witchcraft and designing my hot new look! You are like the Cher to my Tai and the Hector Elizondo to my hooker Julia Roberts!!!

Let me know what you guys think about the new site and also if you have a favorite header! I can’t decide myself!

And now, let’s kickoff this party…with a new video! PLE ENJOY…

June 20, 2010   53 Comments

Shooting Love In Your Direction

BOBBLE HEAD

Levis jacket, Betsey Johnson skirt, floral Doc Martens bewts

wheee

HAAAAYYYYY! I love all the feedback and retweets and general LUV you guys are giving me on the Bangs post. Some of you have been asking me to do that article for over a year. LONG TIME COMING, but I feel happy to have finally made your wish come true by spilling the secrets of my favorite accessory (besides cleavage or a hot man on my arm.)

ANYHOOT, this is just a lil’ outfit post from this week! SPEAKING OF DOCS, everyone’s been telling me about the Hello Kitty x Doc Martens collab. I actually wrote about them on Lipstick Diaries a couple months ago (via a tip from the lovely Ashe Mischief) pero at the time that was top secret info (big mouf strikes again woops) but now they are all over the internet. What do you guys think of these cutie patootie bewts??? I have about five other supercute designs in my mind so Sanrio & Doc Martens, hollaatchagurl if you need me to consult for another round.

HKDOCS

June 18, 2010   13 Comments

Perfect Bangs Forever

wanda

BEST BLONDE BANGS AWARD: Wanda Woodward

During our blog courtship many of you have asked me about my bangs. How do I get them so straight? Did I give up my firstborn to get such perfect bangs? Well first I must tell you a little about my personal history with bangs aka fringe. Like many little girls, Baby Rie Rie sported bangs as a youngin’…

baby rie with crooked bangs
CROOKED BANGS?! AWW Mama why you gotta play me like dat?!

Through the years, I’d grow them out, but they’d make brief appearances from time to time until fully committing to to my forehead in 2004. My favorite era of bangs was 2005-2006. Look at these photos…those bangs are too fresh. IF I MAY SO SO MESELF. Alas, at my side is my BANGS RIVAL at the time, my boo Nicki.

2005bestbangs

Since then Nicki has distanced herself from the Society of Bangs with a butch do’ but I wistfully hope for her return to us in the future. I mean please. Look at these bangs. Way better than mine. Come back to reclaim your throne, NICOLE!

nicki

There was a time when a CERTAIN SOMEBODY convinced me to grow out my bangs and I followed suit for one year (2006-2007 aka The Dark Age). Someday I will chronicle that very lonely time in a novel titled A Year Without Bangs. This blog was being created during that year which is why my Paperdoll has no bangs, but do not fret! That shall be fixed.

So you might be asking yourself, “Are bangs for me?” That’s a question only you and your loved ones (and forehead) can really answer. If you decide to follow the path of Bangs, I am here to guide you through the training and maintenance that I feel is required for this way of life.

Masuimi
Masuimi Max, another great bangs icon even though this may be a wig lol

You might be wondering what bangs length and style are good for you. Short or long, straight-across or whispy. Personally I like to go short (baby bangs) or super straight with them ending right on top of my eyebrows. Everyone has their own personal ‘bangs-to-eyebrow-ratio’ that is ideal for them. So today I present to you, The Seven Golden Rules of Bangs. I hope they bring you the strength and clarity one must need as a member of the Bangs Society.

Remember, I am here for you my sisters.

bangsrule1

SOMEONE I know once cut their bangs with craft scissors and called me for help. I very well know desperate times can call for desperate measures but this is NOT one of those times. You can get a decent pair for about $10 at the beauty supply store or even CVS. Every Bangs Girl must always have a good pair of scissors in her possession. NO EXCUSE!

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I know, I know. You’re running late for a date, a show or a seance and those bangs need a trim. I’m sorry Boo, but you’re going to have to put that shit on hold because YOU CANNOT FUCK WITH PRECIOUS BANGS TIME. This is fine art you are about to engage in. Did Da Vinci rush when he painted the Mona Lisa? I don’t think so. ::Googles it:: NO. So hang a “DO NOT DISTURB: BANGS TRIM IN SESSION” sign on the doorknob, light some candles and put on some tunes to serve as your soundtrack to this surgery. I like a bit of 80′s… maybe New Order. Something romantic, mid-tempo and non-distracting. Perhaps even General Public’s “Tenderness.” CAN’T GO WRONG WITH THAT ONE.

bangs3
EASE IN DERE SON. Start by cutting little by little. I cannot stress this enough. Tie back your weave in a banana clip and comb them suckers down. Make sure they are clean and without product. I find them easier to cut dry rather than damp, that way they won’t shrink up and come out uneven. When you go in for the kill, comb..then cut. LITTLE BY LITTLE! Even those who have years of experience cannot expect to go in like they are Edward Scissorhands. I have been known to do that in the past and ended up with what I call “70′s Satanic Schoolgirl bangs.” Of course that sounds delicious but trust me, you don’t want this shit crooked. OR DO YOU? In that case my words MEAN NOTHING TO YOU. GET OUT!

bangs4
In the 2005′s, there was an epidemic that hit my crew called Bangorexia. Bangorexia resulted from the immense desire for perfectly even bangs. Some of us went overboard trying to reach this level of perfection and ended up with hideously barren foreheads! This extreme length is not for the faint of heart so always be alert when you are in a session.

bangs5
You NEVER know what might happen when you are on the field. Wind, rain, makeout sessions. Now that you are card-carrying member of the Bangs Society you better be representing us well at all times. What does this mean? Carry a bangs comb! You can find one for 99 cents! Not one of those short black LICE combs. Scurry! Those give me the coyote shivers. Mary Van Note has a switchblade comb… SIDEBAR WHY DON’T I HAVE ONE MYSELF YET? My favorite bangs comb right now is all gold and VERY BOLD. I also have a pink kids comb with the Marie cat from The Aristocats and many more in my inventory, THANK YOU.

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I spray my bangs down with a little hairspray so they don’t get out of place. Reyna taught me this late in my bangs game. If I could tell 24-year old Rie-Rie what I know now, I’d say “Listen b, you better cement that shit down because you are going to be dancing to “Common People” at Bang tonight and you are going to look like a SWEATY HOT MESS.” Also, blow-dry them DOWN and very hot if you are a newbie and need to train your bangs to stop parting. And if I want them more full/Bettie Page looking, I blow-dry the sides of them which plumps up the middle. If I’m sporting my bangs on the longer side, I flat iron them so they are super straight.

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Finally, if you are going to have bang game you better have eyebrow game to match! Nothing makes me feel more in tune with the Universe than when I have a fresh bang cut and a newly waxed brow. That combo is UNSTOPPABLE. Like Crockett and Tubbs, Cagney and Lacey and Grey Goose and grenadine!

Remember ladies, the path to Perfect Bangs can be discovered once you harness The Power. Like with many other things in life, practice makes perfect. Just believe in yourself and I know you too will reach Bangs Nirvana.

your one and only
Photo by Miss Hearse

♥ I’d like to end this Bangs Bible Study by saluting some of my favorite fellow Fringe Sisters: Mary Van Note, Miss Hearse, Loulou Loves You, White Lightning, Mademoiselle Robot, Susie Bubble, I Liked Ginger, Vintage Vandalizm, SlackMistress and Queen Michelle…GREAT WORK LADIES! ♥

June 14, 2010   35 Comments

My Shoe Pyramid

yayshoetriangle

Betsey Johnson Pollys, Jeffrey Campbell Legal Zipper Wedges, Miu Miu Teacup heels, Stripper Tip shoes and Ballet boots. You can forget about info for the bottom, muthas.

Let’s sit together closely and talk seriously about this religion called Shoes. When other ladies ask me how I can wear high heels most of the time, I let them know there are different categories of shoes in my life that allow me to do so.  I made this Shoe Pyramid to illustrate for you. Like a REVERSE Food Pyramid, focus on the ones closer to the top and NEVER touch the bottom layer.

First, let’s discuss The Holy Grail of Shoes, which are both sexy AND comfortable. That is the level of shoe perfection a woman must always strive to find. For me those are my beloved Pollys, which originated as a poolside platform stiletto shoe in the 1940′s.

The Holy Grail can then be followed by The Wedge Trick. Lenora helped me figure this out years ago. The right wedge heel can give you that height you desire without killing your tootsies. Nowadays the wedge is so popular you can wear it in various styles, morning, noon and night.

Then there are the ones I call Dinner Shoes, which are pretty shoes that you can actually walk in, but probably won’t last a night of standing up/dancing in them. These are good for dinner out or if you are hosting a get together at home (where you can change into your crip slips after everyone’s too drunk to care.)

Now let’s talk about the other level of shoe that many women think of in relation to high heels. That SEXY OUTTA THIS WORLD shoe that you covet but are so painful, you walk like a geisha in them! I call those Photoshoot/Fucking Shoes since they are only wearable during those two instances.

As you can see I put the Forbidden Items on the bottom aka you better go barefoot like Brit Brit in a gas station bathroom before you wear those nightmares. The stripper shoe is a bit misplaced because everyone knows those are actually comfortable! They really should be higher on the chart, especially since this one comes with a tip jar. What’s your Shoe Pyramid like, m’ladies?

June 10, 2010   8 Comments

Meet You At The Cemetery Gates


Hat from a stand in Harajuku, Betsey Johnson Pollys, Tracy Feith for Target dress

After the wild celebratory night we went for a stroll among the dead at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. It had been a long time since I visited the grounds during the day and not on a Cinespia night.

There were beautiful peacocks strutting around like Vegas showgirls.

PARDON ME, HERE IT IS (I really did do that by accident)

peacock

HEEEEEEEY LITTLE GIRL I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND

mikks

sweet nickkis

reyna

Someone left white plastic fangs at Vampira’s grave so I took the black ones I had in the sunglasses holder in my car (YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU NEED ‘EM) and left them there too.

vampira

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I bought this hat on a stand in Harajuku when I went to Tokyo last summer. It reminded me of the hat the girl wears in The Lover aka L’amant. It’s about the affair of a young French lolita and a rich Chinese man. TABOO AND SEXY

theloverfilm

lamant

L'amant

June 9, 2010   7 Comments

Bruja Icons: The Witches of Eastwick

conjuring

The Witches of Eastwick was one of THEE BEST bruja-themed movies to have ever been made. The coven made up of Michelle Pfeiffer, Susan Sarandon and CHER was the ultimate female power trio of the 80′s! Warning: I appear to have screencapped 220 stills of this film. GOOD LAWT! Based on a book, this movie is about three bffs which include Michelle Pfeiffer as some sort of octomom, a prude violinist played by Susan Sarandon and Cher as a tough, single momma. They all get together one night for martinis and Cheez Whiz to chat about their idea of the perfect mang, and Ol’ Jack Nicholson who is basically the debil himself appears and seduces all of them!

OMG

GAH!

ooh la la

LOL IMAGINE GETTING SEDUCED BY THAT MY LIL’ PONY TAIL? I PROB WOULD. Anyways, let’s talk about the fashunz. It IS the 80′s. That is clearly no joke.

When will hair like this get into fashion again? I’m in the mood for a perm. JUST KIDDIN I WOULD NEVER! I do like those wild locks though.

I liked when SS’s character got a little swivel in her hip and ditched the mousey librarian threads for these little numbers.

tart

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She even rocks the current trend of socks n’ heels.

socks n heels

slut

voodoo

maleficio

This b gets the shit end of the stick in this movie. That’s what you get for being so squaresville and sticking your nose in other people’s business!

GAH!

LOL

I’m sure the first time you saw this scene it really messed with your head and stayed in there for the rest of your life. YOU’RE WELCOME!

sorry

June 9, 2010   6 Comments