rodartecollage

On December 20, Baybee Jesus is bringing us the Rodarte for Target line. Are you shaking in your culottes from all the excitement? Lately when I hear about the next designer for Target I don’t get too excited especially since the McQueen and Anna Sui collabs ended up being a bit disappointing ( I ended up with NOTHING from the Anna Sui one btw and never even found a store that carried the one dress I liked. BLEH. ) Anyway, I’m not grossed out enough to do my daily eyerolls, but I have a jaded “BITCH PLE I SHALL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT!” attitude. Unless Dame Betsey Johnson ever does it of course. Then I will high-kick and drop into the chinese splits because I am a whore for her for all eternity. Thy kingdom come!! However, I do find a few of these pieces from the Rodarte X Target line pretty sweet and interesting choices for last minute holiday party frocks. Let’s dissect them together, shall we?

1.The sequined leopard print dress walks the line between being totally vomitronica or perf for the holidays because you can get your Fran Drescher/Peg Bundy/skinny verj of Divine swagger on while you serve your X-mas ham, all while wearing some red Hollywood Blvd hooker heels and a beehive ‘do… or maybe that’s just me and my fantasies. SIGH. I mean beauty is in the eye of the beholder you guys but not everyone has the power of pulling off something like this. Full-body leopard-print (with the exception of a nice leopard-print coat) can make some girls look like a goddamn foolio. Hopefully that’s not you. Also, If it had gigantic shoulder pads it would be even better IMO (sawre! Still into that trend.) 2. The sequined ribcage dress is a great find for the girls who love medical curiosities (Hi Lola!) and I think it would make an excellent New Year’s dress, but take heed because something like that can also conjure up lame comments from drunken douchebags. Trust. The frat boy in me says they will say something with a “bone” pun. 3. I am interested in seeing if the lace cardigan would take me back to 8th grade in a good way. 4. The black tulle dress is always an option for me because this time of year my all black clothing intake increases to about 100%. And I love a gawth ballerina. ‘Tis the season for us hoodrat brujas.

rodartecollage2

1. I’m always a fan of nude with lace. That has always been one of my favorite recycled trends. 2. Rie-Rie can’t really do mustard but the skirt looks like it could be nice. Ugh this look though, head-to-toe American cheese! I hate American cheese you guys. I lie, I allow Tillamook in my grilled cheese if that’s the only option and you don’t have a nice Gruyere for me. What a queso snob! 3. LUHWEEZE! Perfect outfit for Teen Witch. All I need is a bolero tie for my vision. Imagine Rodarte bolero tie? Shacho mouf… 4. Get that baby blue dress for springtime. The color is nice and that sheer overlay will make your clavicles look pretty.

Love the belts, LOVE the tights. Are those gloves included? Not big on those knee socks though. Looks like hospital bandages from here (not in that kinky way I like) but I could be proven wrong…in person.

THE TRUE TEST OF OUR LIVES UGHHH. That’s the thing I’ve learned m’ladies and m’lads, meeting clothes you’ve swooned over online is exactly like meeting your Facebook/Twitter/Flickr/Vimeo/blog crush. Will they be all gross and boring in person? Or will they be even HOTTER and SEXIER than their last uploaded picture? That’s the risk you take for computer love. What do you think of Rodarte for Target?