Posts from — September 2009

I Luv U, Rossella Jardini

I LOVE the Moschino Cheap and Chic collection!! Super girly with all of my favorite ingredients and just enough of a nod to mod. BEHOLD THE BEAUT!!!

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Thick ribbons instead of laces makes a nice lil’ change for spectator heels.

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Flower power! Look at those glasses!

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This colorful mismatched top with the skirt is my favorite. I wish it was a full dress though! Maybe with a pleated bottom? And some knee socks of course.

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What do you think of the collection ?

pics from style.com and yahoo.com

September 29, 2009   7 Comments

Weddin’ Wear

I recently went to upstate New York for the wedding of some friends of mine. Here’s what I wore!

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  • hat from a flea market a few years ago
  • dress – found at a local shop for $25
  • red leather Pollys- Betsey Johnson
  • China pearls
  • This ring is wild. I got it for two dollhairs

yaay

girls

They had steak cakes  (made by Tres Jolie Cakes) on every table. It freaked everyone out at first because they looked so realistic! NICE TRICK YOU GUYS. I felt weird eating it (red belbets..)

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steak cake

Oh yes, and I caught the bouquet so dudes (and John Stamos) BEST BE READY FOR THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS (aka ME)

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More New York pics to come!

September 29, 2009   9 Comments

I’m Such A Heart-Shaped Whore

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GIVE ME A HEART-SHAPED CUTOUT DRESS NOW LUELLA!!!!

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I’ll take an exaggerated hip as well! I want to exaggerate EVERYTHING THESE DAYS!!! (bitch ple like I don’t already)

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That lil’ polkdadottie number is PERF for my “Minnie Mouse going to a funeral” look which is one of the best things I’ve ever heard anyone say about my style..BLOL!! Thank YOU Miss Tiffany. I never forget it! Luvin’ you.

Fred Flare has a cute little dress with a heart-shaped cutout on the back. Very adorable but you know I need my cutouts on the front so Thelma and Louise (my boobs) can show you some love.

Here is some yeye to listen to while we all fantasize about me wearing a heart cutout dress. Okay maybe that’s just MY fantasy.

Fabienne Delsol – “Vilaines Filles Mauvais Garcons”

Related sidebar: I will never EVER get tired of big ol’ bowners! Follow my special tumblr for nothing but bowner porn.

Forever your whora majora de corazones,

Luella SS/2010 pics via style.com

September 28, 2009   7 Comments

The Best Thing I Have Purchased In The Past Month Since My Iphone Car Charger

the best thing I have bought

Like Salma Hayek’s character in everyone’s accidental favorite movie Fools Rush In, I believe in signs, so when I randomly went into this vintage shop on Highland that we always drive by but have never been inside, my eyes feasted upon this magnificent tapestry. I checked the tag and it had my birthday on it – Oct 16! (mark your calendars) so I KNEW it was written in the stars for me to purchase for only five dollhairs. I’m just sad that there wasn’t two of them for me to fashion into a dress. The picture really doesn’t do this fine piece of art any justice as the mysterious woman on it is clearly not photogenic and appears bloated on camera. You will just have to trust me on this one. Maybe it’s a magic carpet since there’s been a ton of genie lamp rubbing going on…let us sing.

September 23, 2009   5 Comments

Lick It Up Baby Lick It Up

  • Dress – Solvang, CA $5 make u holla
  • Betsey Johnson red leather Pollys
  • Betsey Johnson sunnies
  • pearl necklace Beijing Silk Market
  • Erin Fetherston for Target heart purse

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Every time I wear this 80′s dress that I found in the wonderful town of Solvang, CA, I feel like those bitches from Heathers, except this time, sluttier.

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Usually I wear it with or knee socks or tights to keep that country club-prudish bitch demeanor, but it was just too hot and I’m addicted to my Pollys, aka the most comfortable and sexy high heel ever. The dress also had shoulder pads originally, but in a fit of Italian rage I ripped them out and stuffed my bra with them. Just kidding…maybe.
Speaking of Heathers, I barely righ’ now read about this. I am so over you Hollywood. You and your lame remakes of everything sacred. WHORES!

September 22, 2009   7 Comments

There Will Be Bluuuud

Did any of you watch The Girl Who Cries Blood (BLUUUUUD), a documentary on National Geo about a girl who supposedly bleeds from her eyes and other parts of her body without any source of a wound? IS IT HAEMOLACRIA? MUNCHAUSEN? STIGMATA??? Let’s talk about this! First of all her raver name is Twinkle. Secondly, apparently they would only catch the bleeding once it had already started, and discussed observing her for a full 24 hours… but never did! Um, maybe Lil Twinkles is smearing her maxipad all over her face when nobody’s looking?? Now you all know I like weird shit like this especially growing up Cathol and all, but ple don’t do some super exclusive special without digging deep and covering all the bases. ANNOY! HAYCHU. I hate a pussy tease!

That same night while I was getting drunk in upstate NY, most of you were watching The MTV Video Music Awards instead of tuning into dear Twinkle. So let’s talk about who is more of an attention whore: Twinkle or Lady Gaga?

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Basically when Lady Gagz heard Twinkie had some sick ass party trick where she could bleed from her eyes, Lady Gagz was like Oh Hale to the N, this bitch ain’t about to one up me! So she stuck her leg up on that piano (which reminded me of certain person who used to drive that way while driving AND simultaneously taking a bong hit in the early 2000′s – ESCOOS ME, THE SHAUN ) and smeared fake blood on her bod until she looked like a day-old Tampax Pearl. You know, I have always had conflicting feelings about Lady Gaga. I love slash hate her. I like how she “gives us something to talk about” and “is never wearing something boring” however, I don’t like it when people have to keep reminding me that “they are unique” but “take themselves seriously” even though they write lyrics about disco sticks and paper gangstas, but then I started thinking maybe this is just “part of her act” and the “joke’s on me”  which fucks with my mind and causes me to drink even more, which then results in me wanting to engage in deep philosophical discussion about Lady Gaga and her purpose on this planet.

One purpose was to provide the soundtrack jamz to our New York trip because yes, those ridiculous tunes are FUN to sing. Her music seems to mark important highlights of our lives. Did I ever tell you about the time a certain somebody was getting down at a club to “Just Dance” in the early 2009′s and was rubbing their crawtch so passionately I swear it was a magic lamp and a genie was about to pop out in a cloud of smoke?? THREE WISHES BOSS. I thought it was some sort of lesbian mating call and didn’t think anything of it. (Woops! I already did. SEE how she infiltrates our lives?!) Anyway, the other purpose of her existence is for me to think about her outfits and where I would wear them. For instance, I’d wear this on our date to Sunday Mass, where we will makeout in the confessional. Frenchin’ through the lace! I LOVE THIS SHIT.

i love red lace

I am quite fond of red lace. It’s very old Italian putana. It makes me want to get out some leggings I have that my exboyf called “80′s porn tights” and also my “Vanity 6 gloves” YES!

I also like this birdnest beard. I would wear that in the Jack in the Box drive through. Four 99 cent tacos plz! BLOL @ Beyonce’s fake smile.

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I hope she wears this next! I found this pic in my photobucket of 2004. Wtf is it? I always thought it was a comfortable SOMF mask. Let me know?

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Your around the way girl,

September 22, 2009   18 Comments

Cosmic Agent

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Floating in space courtesy of Loulou….

Sea of Love – Iggy Pop

I’m gonna be all up in NY next week! If you are going to be at the IFB Dress Up Soiree let me know! Can’t wait to meet and ~RECONNECT~ with some of you sexies!

Luvin’ U

September 9, 2009   3 Comments

When In Rome… You Must Rage

Hallow sexies! I have just returned from a weekend geta-RAGE with my girls in San Francisco! Lots of booze, boos, bowners, boobs…and singing. Lots and lots of singing! From serenading a cab driver The Little Mermaid soundtrack songs (obviously I am obsessed if you’ve seen the Eyeliner tutorial video) to stairwell acappella versions of 90′s R&B jams…BEAUTIFUL! I swear these girls are the SF version of my bffs in SoCal. That’s deep bo. It’s fucking bananas. KISMET I’m tellin’ you. LOVIN U I’m telling you even more.

Star! My wifeyboo and hostess! Absolutely beautiful and brilliant. Always a pleasure.

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Me, Star, Kristen and Melinda lounging at the Kink party.

sensual seduction

yeaaaah!

Care for a splash of JEAN NATE??

Jean Nate

I die for Kristen’s Hilary Banks-inspired outfit. WHY YOU KILL ME BO

Hillary Banks

Mary Van Note and I finally got to meet IN THE FLESH! I love her so much. Classy, sweet, stylish and hilar! (I keep watching this and dying) We even share the same exact middle name…which is really weird. Excuse me while I continue to trip on this shit again and again sober and three days later but I’ve never met another Madeline especially one with it as their same middle name and a variation of the same first name! Are we twins in a parallel dimensh? Sisters from another mister? Or perhaps we were SISTERS together in the NUN-sense in a past life. Sister Act!? Okay I am just going off on a crazy catholick tangent but I know you feel me. If you missed the interview I did with her, please read here!

<3

marie madeline and mary madeline!!

I heart Will!

i LUV WILL!!!

M&M get rowdy dowdy

M&M

Bandmates!

K&S

fourth attempt

I just got this cute leopard faux fur jacket from Forevs Veintiunos and it was so hot in SF I thought I would not be able to wear it! It matched my Betsey Johnson luggage perfectly.

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FRAN

I love channeling a little Fran Dresch.  A few years ago my New Years resolution was to dress like The Nanny. Shall I try again? Wide headbands? Put these baby bangs on Karate Kid lockdown and put my fo’ on display?? Watchu think?

nanny style
nanny leopard

Speaking of, during a lil Googs, I found this amazing fashion blog about The Nanny. BRILLIANT!

So as I promised, here’s a follow-up to the New Jack Swing mix. Nothing beats some good 90′s R&B slow jams to get the HORN rollin’. And as much as I love me some Pussy Monster, Lil’ Wayne’s enthralling lyrics do not induce the same type of chest-heaving, lip-smacking, rice-cooking arousal as the beginning of Keith Sweat’s “NOBODY!” ::faints::. As you can see I am making you SWEAT from the beginning to the end of this mix. Hope you all like it! Be careful…it may cause boner swells and snail trails.

90s

Download 90′s HORN MIX

Forever Your Tenderoni,

September 1, 2009   10 Comments