The Cinespia movie screenings at Hollywood Forever Cemetery are one of the best things to do in L.A. during the summer. You can picnic underneath the stars and among the dead while watching your favorite silver screen gems and cult classics projected on a mausoleum wall. This past weekend, they showed one of my favorites, Valley Girl, a movie from the eighties about the forbidden teen romance between Hollywood bad-boy Randy [played by Nicolas Cage] and his Valley Girl love interest Julie. It’s got that usual tale of opposites attract, much like your secret favorite movie High School Musical.

Valley Girl was one of those movies that would come on television all the time after Saturday morning cartoons, causing you to remember every single line for years and into your twenties, when you would frantically search for it in the $5 bins at Walmart. Who can blame you? Nic Cage’s chest hair in that movie is seriously majestic. It kind of resembles the Danzig skull, actually. Doesn’t it !? Let me know.

Who the F would sleep with a clown like that?


Julie’s preppy bitch friends, including my favorite on the right, Loryn the slutty one, played by E.G. Daily, who was actually at the showing and still looking gorgeous. I am so jealous of her hair here.

Slumber parties are one of my favorite types of scenes in movies. Yes I am twelve years old.

The Modern English “Melt With You” romance montage. Has there ever been another falling-in-love montage as great as this one!? I don’t think so.

P.S. F U M&Ms and even moreso, disgusting cheese-glue Taco Bell for ruining my “Melt With You”/ Valley Girl song association! That really burns my biscuits you know.

I love it when Randy won’t take no for an answer and starts putting out the extreme stalk. Ladies, do you find Randy’s stalking creepy or sweet? When does that line get crossed? And if it was the other way around do you think the girl would automatically be labeled a psycho? Frankly, I think these Romeos could get away with more back in the eighties, and these days Randy would get a mace in the face trying to hop into her morning carpool like that.

“Is the movie in 3D?” “No, but you’re face is!!

There’s no denying the soundtrack is one of the best made in the history of cinema. So now we must talk about Josie (fucking) Cotton who is on the soundtrack and who also has a cameo during the prom scene finale.

Josie Cotton in Valley Girl

Sometimes there are people who are just so awesome, you can add “fucking” as their honorary middle name. JOSIE FUCKING COTTON ! She has my favorite outfit out of the whole movie: a bright blue top with vinyl mini skirt depicting a motor racetrack on it!

With her big, teased hair and blue eyeshadow, she looks like a rock n’ roll Elizabeth Taylor. Josie’s famous for one of the best songs from the movie “Johnny Are You Queer?” Can you imagine some teen movie having that song in it nowadays? Impossible! The eighties ruled as far as that goes.

Josie fucking Cotton – “Johnny Are You Queer?”

Josie fucking Cotton – “He Could Be the One”

Bonnie Hayes with The Wild Combo – “Girls Like Me”

Modern English – “Melt With You”

Truly Dazzling.