Posts from — July 2008

Bookworms and Bitches

I purchased a pair of GIGANTIC cat-eye glasses from the party store a couple weeks ago because gigantic things are hilarious so when my bff came over today we had an impromptu photoshoot using one of the most embarrassing books in my collection [NOT Twilight].

Attraction Principle # 29

In other news I am going to one of my favorite places in the world this weekend so expect tons of photos and maybe even some quality time when I return.

Smooches!

July 31, 2008   1 Comment

Getaway Girl Style: The Doom Generation

Finally! I have for you the second part of my “Getaway Girls” special…this one is a DOOZY!

Remember when we were all hardcore for this movie

Remember when we were sixteen and wanted to be like Rose McGowan’s character in that terrible/awesome Gregg Araki movie Doom Generation? Anyone? Was it just me?!

Well…I always thought the cigarette-smokin’, tough talkin’, nymphomaniac that was Amy Blue was such a badass character, especially because of her look. With her black bob, bangs and crimson pout, my first and most obvious reason why I coveted her style was because she too is a member of the International Society of Black Hair, Bangs and Red Lipstick [ISBHBRL].

Since Amy and her two lowbrow Romeos were on the run during the entire movie, she was shown in only two different outfits: a black mini-dress with boots, sunglasses and tons of silver jewelry; and a pink vintage dress with see-through raincoat and white cat eye glasses. Although her fashion choices were limited, they were still memorable to a teenaged Agent Lover, especially the second outfit.

Amy Blue

With the magic of Polyvore, I have chosen a few pieces that are sure to evoke Amy Blue style.

Amy Blue Doom

[set details]

She wears black boots in the movie, but I thought bubble-gum pink boots might offer a nice touch. Don’t forget your gazillion-ounce Diet Coke since Amy never ate and was tweaking the whole time. Hopefully you are unlike Amy and will just be very thirsty.

Amy Blue Doom 2

[set details]

For my favorite outfit of hers, I found a ruffled pink modern dress to substitute for a vintage one, and added some sexy black and white heels. Sadly, I couldn’t find a good see-through raincoat, but white cat eye glasses are an easy item to pick up. Remember she loves wearing tons of rings and smoking cigarettes. Bonus points if you have a black bob with bangs and two hot dudes hanging [banging?!] with you all the time.

I still want this belt buckle.

Part 3 coming soon, I promise!

July 30, 2008   5 Comments

A Night In A Castle

My friends Tricia and Logan had a birthday party in a beautiful castle up in the Hollywood Hills and I took a few polaroids…

The birthday girl, one of my favorite people in the universe, Miss Tricia T-rex.

birthday baby

Mermaids! My bffs decided to jump in the pool in their dresses. I loved that! Sadly I watched from the sidelines since I can’t swim…

mermaids

pretty ladies in the water

As for my outfit I had to get creative again without spending too much dough, so I wore an old Armani Exchange dress, added a black crinoline skirt, a white belt and a red cocktail hat that I got from a flea market.

troubelita

Another fun filled weekend with the ladies. Can you believe summer is already halfway over? :(

July 29, 2008   No Comments

I’m Sorry

I have been consumed.

My Current Obsession

By TWILIGHT. Back when I was a teen I was really into L.J. Smith’s The Vampire Diaries and The Secret Circle, and as you know, my particular childhood obsessions with vampires and monsters, so I am not surprised I would be into this vampire ROMANCE series. Sadly, all my free time this past week has gone to Edward Cullen. Back to our regular scheduled blogging shortly, as I am refraining from buying Eclipse to hinder this nonstop reading for a bit. Leyla, you are to blame for this, thanks.

27 going on 13,

Marie

July 28, 2008   9 Comments

Getaway Girl Style: Pierrot Le Fou

To kick off the weekend, I have a lil’ blog mini series inspired by three different films with one thing in common…their main characters are getaway girls. All three of these bad girls on the run still manage to convey an effortless style while partaking in some dangerous activities! In this mini-series we will take a look at their individual styles and with the help of Polyvore, see if we can find similar looks using modern pieces.

With this first post, dedicated to the lovely gea*, we take a look at Anna Karina’s character of Marianne in Pierrot Le Fou.

Getaway Girls - Marianne Renoir

Jean-Luc Godard’s usage of primary colors will appeal to those of us who lean towards Crayola-solid reds, yellows and blues in our wardrobe choices. I especially love the candy cane romper she is wearing up above. I can see Nubby rocking that piece! Unfortunately, that is the only scene you can have a good look at so I had to be quick with the screencap! Here’s a little outfit I put together inspired by the red and white usage. You can even throw some suspenders in that if you were feeling sassy enough.

Anna le fou

Although nautical style became popular again in the past few years, I feel that it’s not really a true trend because it’s classic enough to be worn year after year. Do you agree? Am I bias since I love the look so much!? I think Marianne proves this to us with her sailor-inspired outfits in the movie. Hot in ‘65, hot now.

Anna Le Fou3

Lastly, I found a blazer that has more of a feminine silhouette than the schoolboy waistcoat she wore during the beginning of the movie, and paired it with a t-shirt that pays homage to a pivotal scene in the film…

anna-le-fou 2

And there you have an interpretation of our first Getaway Girl’s style, Marianne Renoir! What do you think? Stay tuned for Parts 2 and 3!

July 18, 2008   9 Comments

Dear Menz With Special Guest Chase Lisbon

Dear Menz with Chase Lisbon

With summer lovin’ in the air, surely us ladies must be encountering some baffling questions while out and about in the wild frontier of the male species, so who better to act as our personal wingman during this time than a nice fellow from our Dear Menz harem?

Our new Boy Friday is Chase Lisbon, the mastermind behind Supercult. His Flickr photostream displays his talents of using uncanny lighting to make a naked girl in a sketchy hotel room look way more than just a naked girl in a sketchy hotel room. But it was when I saw his list that included the love of Morrissey, cholos, owls, Frankenstein and fantasy battles, I knew this was a guy I wanted to get to know.

In this edition of Dear Menz, Chase takes our weary hand and guides us into the wilderness.

Are you jaded by beautiful women since you are around them all the time? Is it like being a gynecologist in a way where it’s like “Bah, another vagina? Another day, another dollar” ?

Yes, a little. It’s really cut my libido in half. No question there, but it makes life a lot easier. It’s way easier to live when you aren’t constantly looking to get people into bed with you. It’s also helped me realize that NO ONE is perfect and that you can’t keep looking for physical perfection…. it’s like the Holy Grail, and you aren’t going to find it anywhere.

What is the number one deal breaker for you when you are out on a date?

Man… dates… I dislike girls that are rude to waiters or staff, I dislike pointy shoes, I dislike it when girls talk about “bathroom things” or that sort of humor. I have trouble being into a girl if I don’t like the way she dresses… I hate thongs, but it won’t destroy everything… hmmmm… I can’t stand when people are divas and complain about their food or take things back. There’s way more deal breakers than there are deal makers. I have a sort of black heart these days. My love life is best summed up by about 13 of the 69 Love Songs by Magnetic Fields.

How can a girl really tell if a guy likes her?

Well.. If a guy really likes a girl, he’ll buy her little tiny gifts, text a lot, call a lot, need a lot of reassurance, and make up reasons to contact them… especially the gifts… like, it could be anything, something from a 25 cent machine, you know? Just something that says “I was even thinking about you at the grocery store”.

If he doesn’t do any of these things, and he’s only calling her late night once a week, then it’s all just physical.

Cholos love tagging up their heinas. What are your thoughts on hickeys?

Oh man… hahaha…. sometimes I like to give a hickey for fun, but a lot of times I give them by accident in strange places and that can just cause trouble all around.

Since the Internet has made it easier to meet other people nowadays, has it made everyone sluttier?

Everyone is way “sluttier” now for sure, but I don’t know where the blame lays. Maybe it’s just because girls think they need to be a certain way with me, because of my job, or who knows… but things are crazy nowadays.

But definitely girls are growing up, seeing things on the internet that were not standard acts 15 years ago, and maybe they get the impression that that’s the norm. Who knows? I’m not a sexologist…

What do you think about hooking up with exes?

I don’t do it… I’ve only ever done that with “exes” that were “flings”, you know? No one that ever had my heart… I’m against it.

Is it true that white boys like to go down more than any other ethnicity?

I would think so. Everyone I know loves too… nothing can stop us…

What’s the sexiest thing a woman can do that doesn’t involve sex?

It’s all in the eyes…

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you Chase for being our eyes in the fog!

July 17, 2008   5 Comments

The Incredible Cambodian Postal Service

The Incredible Cambodian Postal Service

I still cannot believe this. I received the above postcard this past May from my brother, who had mailed it when he was in Cambodia….a year prior. You can see how he mentions my ‘forthcoming trip to China,’ which I took in May… of 2007. A year later the postcard comes to my house! Talk about being fashionably late. You so crazy Cambodia!

Has anyone else had strange experiences with other foreign postal services?

July 15, 2008   4 Comments

That Chick Julie, She’s Truly Dazzling

tonight

The Cinespia movie screenings at Hollywood Forever Cemetery are one of the best things to do in L.A. during the summer. You can picnic underneath the stars and among the dead while watching your favorite silver screen gems and cult classics projected on a mausoleum wall. This past weekend, they showed one of my favorites, Valley Girl, a movie from the eighties about the forbidden teen romance between Hollywood bad-boy Randy [played by Nicolas Cage] and his Valley Girl love interest Julie. It’s got that usual tale of opposites attract, much like your secret favorite movie High School Musical.

Valley Girl was one of those movies that would come on television all the time after Saturday morning cartoons, causing you to remember every single line for years and into your twenties, when you would frantically search for it in the $5 bins at Walmart. Who can blame you? Nic Cage’s chest hair in that movie is seriously majestic. It kind of resembles the Danzig skull, actually. Doesn’t it !? Let me know.

Who the F would sleep with a clown like that?

blol

Julie’s preppy bitch friends, including my favorite on the right, Loryn the slutty one, played by E.G. Daily, who was actually at the showing and still looking gorgeous. I am so jealous of her hair here.

Slumber parties are one of my favorite types of scenes in movies. Yes I am twelve years old.

The Modern English “Melt With You” romance montage. Has there ever been another falling-in-love montage as great as this one!? I don’t think so.

P.S. F U M&Ms and even moreso, disgusting cheese-glue Taco Bell for ruining my “Melt With You”/ Valley Girl song association! That really burns my biscuits you know.

I love it when Randy won’t take no for an answer and starts putting out the extreme stalk. Ladies, do you find Randy’s stalking creepy or sweet? When does that line get crossed? And if it was the other way around do you think the girl would automatically be labeled a psycho? Frankly, I think these Romeos could get away with more back in the eighties, and these days Randy would get a mace in the face trying to hop into her morning carpool like that.

“Is the movie in 3D?” “No, but you’re face is!!

There’s no denying the soundtrack is one of the best made in the history of cinema. So now we must talk about Josie (fucking) Cotton who is on the soundtrack and who also has a cameo during the prom scene finale.

Josie Cotton in Valley Girl

Sometimes there are people who are just so awesome, you can add “fucking” as their honorary middle name. JOSIE FUCKING COTTON ! She has my favorite outfit out of the whole movie: a bright blue top with vinyl mini skirt depicting a motor racetrack on it!

With her big, teased hair and blue eyeshadow, she looks like a rock n’ roll Elizabeth Taylor. Josie’s famous for one of the best songs from the movie “Johnny Are You Queer?” Can you imagine some teen movie having that song in it nowadays? Impossible! The eighties ruled as far as that goes.

Josie fucking Cotton – “Johnny Are You Queer?”

Josie fucking Cotton – “He Could Be the One”

Bonnie Hayes with The Wild Combo – “Girls Like Me”

Modern English – “Melt With You”

Truly Dazzling.

July 14, 2008   9 Comments

Mad Crushin’ On Mary Van Note

Ello putanos! It’s time for another unveiling of one of my crushes…San Francisco comedian Mary Van Note. When I first found out about Miss Van Note and her bawdy standup style, my first thought was,”Who is this pervert in a polka dot dress and why isn’t she my BFF!?” Her recently debuted IFC.com web series, Gavin Really Wants Me, details her hilarious journey to woo the sexy mayor of San Francisco and his 90210-esque hairdo. Today she chats with me about Pee Wee Herman, sex tapes, and her vintage style.

+ How did you get your start doing stand up?

Well, I went to college at UC Santa Cruz. I transferred there from a community college, so the first quarter I was there I wanted to take class that would be fun and would be a place to meet potential friends. I saw “Stand-Up Comedy” in the class schedule and just thought, “Sounds like fun.” I didn’t like stand-up comedy at that point. I hated what I saw on Comedy Central. I didn’t know much about comedy. It wasn’t until I started the class when I learned about comedians like Lenny Bruce, Mort Sahl, Andy Kaufman, Victoria Jackson, Judy Tenuta.

It was a great class because my teacher, Doug Holsclaw, didn’t try to teach us how to write a joke. He simply said, “Do 5 minutes on your childhood,” and then the next few weeks we’d be watching and critiquing our classmates. I happened to go last on the first assignment, so I was able to learn from my classmates’ mistakes. I went up there with my five minutes and had the best set of my life. I was incredibly nervous, but my teacher said, “Keep it.” And that’s how the stage persona of Mary Van Note was born. I’m myself onstage. Maybe just a bit exaggerated.

I realized around that time that I had actually done standup before. The first, first time I did standup was in middle school. At my 7th grade talent show I did another comedian’s act. I had seen this comedian on TV who sang a song about toast while wearing a toaster around his neck and banging it with a spoon and a fork. I looked this up online recently and this comedian’s name is Heywood Banks. So even back then I appreciated weird, silly, conceptual comedy.

+ What was your childhood like? Was Little Mary Van Note the class clown growing up?

I was definitely somewhat weird growing up. I wasn’t loud in class or anything, but amongst my friends, I was always goofy. In middle school I would fall down on purpose to get laughs. Later in high school I became real quiet and recluse. I’m still a pretty quiet person, but I’m still weird, so I guess that explains where I’m at now.

+ Who are your comedic role models?

As a kid I loved cartoons and Pee Wee Herman, of course. I loved watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse. I’m also totally inspired by 80s movies like Better Off Dead. I freaking love that movie. That has been my favorite movie since I was a tween.

It wasn’t until after I started stand-up when I started to learn about comedians. One of the most influential and inspiring comedians for me is Andy Kaufman.

+ Are there any funny ladies of today that inspire you and make you laugh?

Most definitely! A lot, in fact. Contemporary funny ladies I love are Maria Bamford, Kristen Schaal, Jen Kirkman, Natasha Leggero, Tig Notaro, and Sherry Sirof.

+ How do you feel about the morons that say shit like “Women comedians just aren’t funny”?

It bothers me, but it bothers me more that it bothers me, so I try not to let it bother me.

+ Recently Vanity Fair did a cover shoot of today’s hottest female comedians where each woman dressed up as a trashy Hollywood starlet. Which one of those tragic tabloid darlings would you have impersonated?

I was actually part of that shoot, but I decided to be Anna Nicole Smith. And I was really literal with my interpretation.

Gavin Really Wants Mary Van Note

+ Your new IFC show, “Gavin Really Wants Me”, is about your pursuit of SF Mayor hottie Gavin Newsom’s heart. What would your dream date with Gavin be like?

It would be filled with dildos, hand-holding, rose petals, ice cream, ice skating, boning, and messing his hair up. Just messing it all up.

+ Can you give us any tips on how to get the attention of the papi chulos of our dreams?

Yes. Learn how to make a good beef roast. I season mine with salt, garlic and sage.

+ One of the things about you that caught my eye was your cute and girly style. Since I love talking fashion, I have to ask you who your style icons are.

Oooooo! I love clothes and shoes and pretty old things! I’m a huge fan of vintage dresses. I guess early on, it had to have been Drew Barrymore, who back in the day wore vintage clothes and sported daisies in her short bleached hair. I guess Betty Page too, though you’d think I’d look rockabilly or suicide girl-ish except I don’t have tattoos and I hardly wear makeup. She inspired my bangs and my collection of old vintage lingerie and stockings.

I’m definitely pretty classic. I’m not into a specific style, either. I dig 60s looks as much as the 40s and 50s. I like to dress up when I perform, like I’m some kind of indie songwriter rockstar. Lately I’ve been attracted to really girly dresses with flowers on them, ruffles and lace. I’m on the lookout for a nice GunneSax sleeveless sun-dress in my size.

+ And lastly, what would the Mary Van Note sex tape be called?

I LIKE DICK.

Simple. To the point.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In addition to standup, Mary also displays her comedic talents through hilarious zines, YouTube videos and one of my favorite things, dirty cross-stitch! She made the “Cochina Puta” cross-stitch I gave Reyna for her birthday [making her responsible for Mexican mothers everywhere to now be wary of my friendships with their daughters]. Don’t forget to check out her new series Gavin Really Wants Me on IFC.com! New episodes are up every weekday for the next couple of weeks. And for even more Mary Van Note, check out maryvannote.com and her myspace.

July 9, 2008   4 Comments

How To Make A Tacky Corsage

HOMeGurlZ

Every classy and sassy girl going to the prom needs a corsage right? The usual choices of flowers and ribbons are pretty little things, but a badass homegirl needs a unique wrist corsage that expresses her individuality.

I made my first tacky corsage back in high school. I actually still have it. The ingredients used? A doll head, aluminum foil, some jacks. WTF? Obviously my love for tacky ass shit goes way back. For our second Homegirlz photoshoot, Rucas go to Prom, I revived my corsage-making expertise to bring out the finest in prom girl accessories. What supplies do we need for this lazy crafting adventure?

* Tulle
* Glue Gun
* Ribbons and Bows for the bases – I used big hair clips and violently ripped off the snap barrette part like THE HULK
* Corsage bracelet found at most craft stores
* A bunch of crap from the 99
* ~Your imagination~

Since I am a theme whore, every corsage had to be specially personalized for each of my heinas. For the church-going ruca, a corsage embellished with Catholic imagery was perfect. I found the mini Jesus statue in a 50 cent toy machine. Added a cross and some Virgin Mary pins and there we have it!

Catholic Guilt Corsage

The girly girl ruca loves lip glossin’ and Mariah Carey’s slow jams, so what can be better than butterflies, baby powder pink, and something that spells out just how “sexy” she is? The silver butterflies and “sexy” additions are actually from some cheap earrings and the little white plastic fan is a quinceañera favor.

Sexy Corsage

The bad girl ruca loves nothing more than getting faded on a Saturday night. She even keeps a blunt in her corsage [and a lighter in her bra, of course.]

Blunt Corsage

Does your girl have a favorite cartoon that might even double as her nickname? I took apart a Tweety Bird keychain and added some Mexican Lotería cards and a pink bandanna to compliment my homegirl Tweety’s dress. I love me some Mexican Lotería cards! They are weird and actually kind of scare me for some reason.

Tweety's Corsage and Delishis Nails

There is no hotter combination than Betty Boop and gambling. For my own corsage I took apart a Betty Boop earring, cut up some playing cards and glued on these mini card buttons and came up with this rojo-colored masterpiece.

Betty Boop Gambling Corsage

Just remember homegirls and homeboys, for the Lazy Crafter, all you really need is a glue gun and your imagination and you can make your dreams come true…

July 2, 2008   6 Comments