Posts from — June 2008

Dear Diary – A Question in Answer

Dear Diary, A Question in Answer

I was only nine years old here and my fears of the apocalypse were already forming. Poor bebi Marie! At least I entertained myself with some fantasy films. I actually have Return to Oz at home from Netflix right now.

June 25, 2008   9 Comments

Lenora Claire’s Birthday at Houdini Mansion

This past Friday the 13th, I went to the Houdini Mansion in Hollywood to celebrate my favorite redhead Lenora Claire’s birthday! Like all of her events, the Scarlet Woman of the Apocalipstick’s soirée was anything but ordinary, as there were monkeys, butts, a moon bounce, fire eaters and Larry Birkhead. The supposedly haunted [yay!] property was beautiful, but easy to get lost in when you are fueled by vodka and without a flashlight. I wish I had my giant MAGNUM with me. Surprisingly, I did not trip and roll down the stairs like a big wheel of cheddar cheese. Those Target heels are like secret agent party girl weapons! If I can survive walking around Houdini Mansion in those, every girl should have a pair.

Shaun and Reyna with Lenora the Birthday girl…

shaun lenora reyna

Since I am being mindful of my spending habits lately, I knew I wasn’t able to get a dress made or spend much on a fabulous new outfit. I decided instead to revamp something I already had.

I took a great black and white striped cotton dress I bought a year ago from TJ Maxx, shortened it to a whorish hem, added a red crinoline skirt I bought at the garment district underneath, a corset-looking belt I got in downtown Ventucky, and had my bangin’ outfit! My only problem was it was a little pirate wrench-y and unlike every other freakin’ person in the world, pirates just ain’t my thang. [Unless it has to do with that Peter Pan movie Hook with Rufio.] I figured if I chose the right accessories I could possibly subdue that pirate look a little.

Nora, me, and Reyna…

nora me reyna

Taking some feathers, a regular black headband, more feathers, a flower hair barrette with a fake bird in it and a glue gun, I managed to construct an easy-to-do French whore headdress ! That my friend, is my first example of “Crafts for the Lazy Crafter”, which will be my new column on this blog. That shit seriously took me five minutes. You can see it pretty well in this picture with my sexy friend Jason Savvy.

Mr Savvy and I

Amazingly, I came out of the party with nary a scratch on my headdress. I must be reaching some new levels of my super powers, people.

All in all it was a good evening and I was happy with my quickly put together party outfit, and people were nice enough to let me know they liked it too. Is it time for me to pitch a ‘stylist on a budget’ television show called…It Costs Cheap to Look….This Cheap ?

I was born with the name like a French Whore

June 18, 2008   7 Comments

Reasons Why I Am Not a Role Model

Reasons Why I am Not a Role Model

Reason # 16.

The other day when I was walking down Main Street in Ventura to meet my friend, a lady in a wheelchair with a baby on her lap asked me for a cigarette.

I said, “Sure!”

The End.

June 15, 2008   8 Comments

The Wayward Adventures of Cochina Puta

Last weekend it was my bff Reyna’s birthday and we spent it running around downtown LA and partying at the Biltmore Hotel, where we celebrated my last birthday as well. The Biltmore Hotel is a majestic place, and is supposedly where the Black Dahlia was last seen. I love old hotels! The smell! The architecture! The chance that some ghost might touch my boob in the middle of the night! It is grand…

Now let us get to this picture heavy post…

Birthday Girl!

Lampshades make great accessories..

The creepy Biltmore pool…a scene from Cruel Intentions was filmed there, FYI hello SEBASTIAN…

Me, Reyna and Casey before Reyna’s party. You got a secretary, a 60′s prom queen and a flapper right here!

The Shaun looking very stylish, as always..

When at the Biltmore, Reyna and I have a tradition of dressing up identically and taking pictures in the hotel hallway, much like an ode to the creepy Shining Twins, but drunk.

From last time:

we will be doing this again in tminus two weeks

And this time [which are way worse]:

Even Liberace had in on the hijinks!! What would you do if he was your conscience…giving you advice on everyday scenarios? Man. I would want him on my right shoulder and PRINCE on my left…IMAGINE!

Reyna, me and miss MIKKAY!

Later that night/early morning, singing Danzig’s Shopping List in the bathtub, resulting in “enormous complaints” by neighboring guests according to hotel security. Woops!

And that concludes today’s episode of your favorite telenovela-variety show,Cochina Puta.

[PS. Excuse my lack of posting! I have seriously been too stressed out and busy to write lately, but hopefully I can cure that soon. :( ]

June 13, 2008   2 Comments

Global Warming Ruined My Tan

A couple weeks ago, Leyla and I went to glorious Palm Springs, CA with the expectation of returning with mocachino skin from lazing about by a pool all weekend. Southern California had been recently hit with heat waves so we figured the days spent trapped inside at our desks would pay off once we had a desert paradise at our fingertips. As luck would have it, that was the one weekend of not only May Grey skies, but rain, hail, and a fucking tornado ripping through parts of LA. When we got there, the rain had ceased but the temperature didn’t get much higher than 65 degrees, until the day we left, naturally, when it was over 80. Why I oughta…

Cosmo

However, our trip was very enjoyable because no matter what, there is always a glimmer of hope, a silver lining, an infallible remedy… BOOZE! Not to mention meeting up with some friends and enjoying delicious food [which might actually coerce me into finally doing some Yelp reviews]. Honestly, I can’t give any praise for the nightlife…if there really was any. I did like the bar at the Viceroy though and I loved Mister Parker’s clown paintings/swanky piano decor, although we only went to the Parker for brunch and didn’t experience the bar in motion.

One of the most disappointing things about Palm Springs was the lack of decent shopping. Since the area is known to be a haven for old folks, I thought for sure I would return with some good thrift store finds, but nooo! I’m thinking the treasure troves must be somewhere in the Coachella Valley though, and when I return to avenge my lost tan, I will avenge the thrift stores too. Luckily, there was the nearby Cabazon Outlets where I picked up my favorite new accessory … this white heart Marc Jacobs watch! HELLO.

Remember how I was on the hunt for the perfect vintage-style suit? The one I actually decided on was an Esther Williams brand, Minnie Mouse-type of suit, a red retro cut with white polka dots. I love this suit and was saddened to have only worn it for twenty minutes, until the clouds of doom came rolling in while we were attempting to tan. At least I will be able to wear it this weekend even though I will be at an indoor pool. Will I ever get a goddamn tan!?! I wanna be the filipino ‘Lil Kim! Anyway, Esther Williams was the perfect choice in the end. And it looks like Winona from Daddy Likey agrees!

Here we are enjoying our twenty-minute sunbathing session.

Enjoying croquet and the ironically beautiful weather at the Parker before we left…

At the Parker

First time eating runny eggs since London 2002

Breakfast at The Parker, Palm Springs

Miss Leyla goin’ for a dip

and Corn, who has a grand old time in any type of weather…

And lastly, a fitting song for this story..

Belle and Sebastian – “A Summer Wasting”

June 4, 2008   2 Comments

Mad Crushin’ on Gea Philes

Mad Crushin' on Gea Philes

Happy Monday everyone! With the launch of my Paper Doll, I thought it would be the perfect time to interrogate the lovely lady behind all the artwork on agentlover.com, New York-based artist Gea Philes!

+ You were born in Chile. How old were you when you came to the States?

Yes, I was born in Santiago, Chile. My family and I took the long bumpy way to America when I was 8.

+ Did you have an artistic childhood? I imagine a mini Gea* doodling decapitated unicorns when all the other kids were busy drawing tulips and teddy bears.

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t drawing. I enjoyed tracing mostly when I was younger. Would get a comic book and put tracing paper over it and copy it. The decapitated unicorns didn’t come until I entered Junior High School.

+ You live in New York , which I am sure is a constant source of inspiration. Are there any other places in the world that fuel your creative spirit?

I can’t say NYC inspires me too much, it’s a love/hate relationship with this place. Don’t mind me, I’ve been here too long…I’m just grouchy. If I had to single out a place that fuels me, it be probably space.

Interview with Gea* Philes!

+ What artists do you admire?

I admire the ones that make work I can stare long and deep enough to feel like they understand what’s going on in my psyche. The balance of beautiful and grotesque, evil and kind, a good sense of humor is always welcomed too. To name a few: Trevor Brown, Andy Warhol, Suehiro Maruo, Henry Darger, Stu Mead, Ichiba Daisuke, Francis Bacon, Gustav Klimt…

+ I’m envious of people who can draw because of their ability to manifest whatever images pop into their heads. Is there an occupation or even just a hobby that you’ve really wished you could learn?

Occupation…I wish I was a flight attendant specially, now with news of virgin space, so very 2001.

+ Does music inspire your art? Do you listen to anything when you are working?

I do listen to a lot of music. It doesn’t directly inspire my art but it does help me adjust my mood. I’m pretty sensitive in that way. A song can either make me cry or want to bash something…it comes in handy when I’m tackling certain subjects in my work.

+ Since you are a big fan of the cinema and even make your own short films, have you ever wanted to get into filmmaking on a larger scale someday?

I would love to…but I’m too much of a scatterbrain and money of course is the issue. Right now I am attempting an animated short. No flash, just very old school way of doing things. We’ll see how long that takes to do. Most of my short films (gawd this is making them sound so much more prestige then they really are but the next part won’t) run under one minute cause I use the video option on my camera. I hope this animated one will be at least more than 5 minutes long :-P

I heart Gea!

+ Five things you are obsessed with right now:

Crunchy peanut butter, my ex-boyfriend’s big nose, World of Warcrack, LOST, my cat (always and 4ver)

+ What are your goals for your art?

Book or comic book, I’m not picky. It be nice to have something in print (more then just a couple of pages)

+ What’s next in the world of Gea*?

Updating my website…I keep getting scolded for that. >_<

Sorry I know its been years!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You can follow more of Gea’s art and adventures on her website, myspace and her new film blog, A Beautiful Fraud Called Cinema.

June 2, 2008   2 Comments

A Sunday Smile

This weekend I was able to catch one of my favorite bands, Beirut, at the Wiltern. Since my friend Shaun and I are old grandpas, we enjoyed the show from balcony seats, drinks in hand of course. Beirut’s gypsy-influenced, brass-heavy songs always sound like closing credits music to me, in the kind of film that made you feel happy and sad and maybe even nostalgic for something you’ve never really known before. What a goddamn sap I am. On the other hand, Beirut is also great drinking music, and you can sing along while swinging your beer from side to side, which is what I did with my wine. Zach Condon’s voice is too beautiful for me. I can’t stand it. Isn’t he just burly’ 22? Zach, have you ever made love to an older half-asian woman in a corn on the cob costume? Anyway, when the day comes for me to grow a beard and backpack throughout Europe, Beirut will definitely be providing the soundtrack.

Here’s my wardrobe remix pic before the show also. I love those superhero gold boots.

going to see Beirut

And another present since I love you so!

Beirut – “The Penalty”

June 1, 2008   2 Comments