Welcome to the second edition of “Dear Menz” where I ask the menz a variety of penetrating questions to help us ladies find the thugz of our dreams…
Not only is Coney Island awesome because it is The Warriors‘ home turf, but because it’s where you can find Donny Vomit, from Coney Island’s Sideshows by the Seashore. He first aroused my ladyboner during a visit to the sideshow in 2006. Donny was nice enough to take time from juggling chainsaws and hammering nails into his face to let us have a peek into his fascinating man brain. I am also proud to say I resisted any potential urges to drop a sword-swallower pickup line during this interrogation. I’m sure he’s heard them all!
What kind of date would you take a girl on if you were broke?
Just hit the town in Coney. Grab a dog at Nathans Hotdogs, hit the arcades and have our fortunes told by Grandma the antique fortune teller machine. Talk some roustabouts into rides on the Wonder Wheel and the Cyclone. Go for a swim out on the beach. Then grab a beer back at our bar at the sideshow.
How freaky can a sideshow freak get in the sack?
Whips, chains, straitjackets, swords and beds of nails are all floating around my room, but when it comes to the end of the day sometimes you want to leave the tools of the trade behind and enjoy what draws most into the sideshow in the first place. The exploration of something new and exciting.
What shouldn’t a girl do to get a guy’s attention?
Do not, I repeat DO NOT carve a man’s name into your chest flesh, especially when he doesn’t know your name.
Give me that one Missed Connections Craigslist ad you wish you had posted.
Oh subway accordion girl, where did you go? We could have ran away and started our own circus on some tropical beach. If you ever make your way back to New York just jump on a train to the end of the world in Coney Island where your carny boy will be waiting.
What’s your stance on pubes? Bald as a basketball or big ol’ jungle bush?
Keep it short, keep it clean. My mustache doesn’t like competition.
Who is in your dream threesome?
The Hilton sisters, not Paris and Nicky but the original Hilton sisters, Daisy and Violet.
What is the number one dealmaker when you are out on a date?
A girl has to enjoy a rollercoaster, and not be too disturbed by a man who found a way to make a living picking his nose.
Where’s the weirdest place you’ve gotten laid?
In the ocean.
Thank you Donny for being the second Menz to graciously answer my puzzling and perverted queries! And friends, if you are ever in Coney Island, stop by Sideshows by the Seashore to say hello to Donny and to be entertained!
Also, If you missed the first edition of Dear Menz with Michael Ian Black you can catch it here.
[Donny V Photo by David Sacks]