My Stupid Obsessions

1. Lifetime – In high school I was really obsessed with Lifetime Original Movies. They are trashy romance novels come to life. I still have conversations with kindred spirits about “the one where Kellie Martin was all obsessed with Tori Spelling and started wearing her cheerleader jacket” and “the one where Fred Savage beat up Candace Cameron”. Unfortunately the obsession seems to have come back to me with a vengeance. I watched Alyssa Milano in Wisegal, which wasn’t too shameful because I can make the excuse it was mobster movie, well one with Samantha from Who’s the Boss, but still. Then I watched some movie called Abducted, only because there was a poor man’s Michael Vartan in it. What happened to Michael Vartan anyway?

2. Cheap Italian Champagne – I have become addicted to this eight-dollar bubbly called Ballatore Spumante. We are averaging two bottles a week lately. And there is no specific reason for this cork-popping indulgence! “Atonement made us depressed, let’s get some champagna!” “Penelope made us happy, let’s get some champagna!” “I cut my bangs, let’s get some champagna!” “It’s Daylight Savings Time, let’s get some freakin’ champagna!” Baby, we don’t need a reason to celebrate other than LIFE!

3. Period Films Pride and Prejudice, The Other Boleyn Girl, Girl with the Pearl Earring, Elizabeth, The Duchess out later this year…period pieces turn up the horn with sexy British leads and satisfy my love for elaborate costume. Needless to say my Netflix queue has been burning up. Also: Collin Firth.

4. The 99 Cent Store – HA!!! What’s the Starbucks/99 Cent Store ratio in Southern California? ‘Cause both of them are everywhere, which makes it easy for me to get an iced coffee and a Venus Flytrap with just a drive down the street. Yes, I said a Venus Flytrap from the goddamn 99! And yes, my plant is still alive after a month. It is straight Little Shop of Horrors up in here. Anyway, where else can you get cute red and white baroque mini storage boxes, the perfect fake eyelashes, and fresh sunflowers?!? The heaven-sent 99, that’s where.

5. America’s Best Dance Crew – Okay, I will admit without shame that I go bananas for almost anything dance-related, but particularly hip-hop. Even though I have been through semi-gawth and hardcore raver phases throughout my life and listen to whiny indie pussy music, my heart always reverts to hip-hop. I used to dance back in the day, [Filipinos know how to fucking bust a move], and watching things like Step Up [BLOL] and America’s Best Dance Crew makes my guts sigh. I bet when I am an old grandmama I will be rocking in my chair with my granddaughter on my lap watching old Missy Elliott videos and saying “Your grams used to pop-n-lock, little girl!!!” Anyway, I LOVE this show. Thank you Randy Jackson for bringing me Fysh N’ Chips [Wah, eliminated] and those hot masked b-boys JabbaWockeez!

6. People Whose Faces Look Like Kraft American Cheese – Lastly, I’m just really into saying shit like “So and So’s face looks like a slice of American Cheese.” Did I get that somewhere or is that an original Marie-ism? I can’t tell. But as some of you know, I HATE American Cheese. VOM.

What stupid embarrassing obsessions are you into right now? And no, Lost does not count because Lost is a very classy obsession.