Greetings everyone and welcome to the first edition of “Dear Menz”! This is where I will dig deep and ask the menz a variety of penetrating questions to help us ladies gain enough knowledge to find the thugs of our dreamz…
My first guest is the genius and god among men, Michael Ian Black, who you know from The State, Stella, Wet Hot American Summer, and of course those “I Love the…” shows on VH1. Let’s see what this menz has gots to say…
Is it true that guys don’t like funny girls?
I think guys love funny girls. At least this guy does. Especially if they have funny props like Carrot Top. That shit is hilarious.
When is the best time to slip someone the tongue on the first date?
How would you feel if you overheard someone say, “I am straight gonna MB to the MIB TONIGHT”?
I guess it would depend on the context – if they were talking about putting their cat to sleep, I guess I would be kind of upset.
What’s your favorite song to dry hump to?
Falco’s “Rock Me Amadeus”
What advice can you give someone who’s been looking for love in all the wrong places? Should I just give it up and become a mail order bride?
My advice to any would-be mail order brides out there would be to take a deep breath and consider ALL your options. Maybe you might want to become a high-class call girl instead, or just a straight-up sex slave. Mail order bride just sounds so permanent.
Have you ever Supermanned a ho?
I’m not sure what this is, but probably.
Why do a lot of menz refuse to eat white condiments?
Like mayo? Do menz refuse mayo? In my experience, menz will happily eat mayo.
And lastly, what kinds of freaky shit are you into?
I like Scrabble.
Thank you Michael Ian Black for letting us peer into your brain for our first Dear Menz column! You can enjoy more MIB at his hilarious blog. You can also see him in the soon-to-be-released Kids in America and he also wrote the upcoming film Run, Fat Boy, Run. And get his stand up comedy album, I Am a Wonderful Man, available on Amazon.